Three weeks and three days before the Jade Palace's destruction...
"Su, you missed an ear."
"I don't care about the ear."
"You need to pick up the ear."
"I said I don't care about the ear."
"The ear."
"Forget about the ear."
"Su, the ear."
"I'm not picking up the stupid ear."
"The ear."
"Shut up about the ear."
"Su, I know you're mad about being forced to join the Dragon Warrior Fan Club, but it was the only way we would get the statue fixed before dad found out."
Su slammed the bucket full of clay pieces on the table, barely missing Po's paw. There were still dozens of little orange bits scattered around the area in between the tables and the kitchen. "Yeah, I'm mad. Not just because I'm now stuck as an informant for a gang of juvenile blackmailers, but also because I got myself into this mess by blowing your stupid orange head off. And now to add insult to injury, I'm stuck picking up little bits of clay skull while you're lounging around five feet away like a flippin' potato!" Po looked down at the bowl of dumplings in his paws and thought Su was maybe onto something. Su was pink in the face now as she picked up a couple more pieces and tossed them into the bucket. "Don't you think I've got enough on my plate between the nightmares and the voices in my head telling me there's someone out there who deserves to burn in the flaming pits of hell? You know what, what the heck am I doing cleaning up the mess?! You're the fanboy doofus who gave me a loaded crossbow! I'm finishing those dumplings and you're picking up this dummy's brain!"
With that, Su shoved the bucket into Po's arms, snatched the bowl of dumplings, and stormed off upstairs.
Before Po could even begin to wonder what the heck had just happened, someone else spoke. "What on earth was that all about?"
Po turned in his seat. Tigress, Viper and Crane were standing in the archway. Tigress was wearing her long sleeved green vest today. Po pinched the bridge of his nose. "How much of that did you hear?"
Tigress glanced at the flawlessly repaired statue standing in the corner. "Just the part about you picking up some dummy's brain. Speaking of which, why are there little bits of clay all over the floor?"
One part of Po wanted to be honest with Tigress. The other reminded him that doing so would get Su in big trouble, and the only reason she would be in big trouble was because he had given her the offending crossbow. Besides, he would be in trouble no matter which story he told.
"I was checking out the new weapons Shifu wanted me to pick up, and I kinda blew that statue's head off." Tigress smiled, and Viper and Crane started laughing. "The only way we could get it fixed before dad found out was if Su joined the Dragon Warrior Fan Club. She's pretty ticked."
"I imagine she would be." Viper said. "Do you want some help cleaning up?"
"Nah, I've already been called a couch potato once today." Po got up and started picking up the remaining clay bits. "But you could check on the stove. I'm getting the noodles ready for when my dad gets back."
"Oh, I spoke to him while I was on a flight." Crane said. "He's going to be back a lot later than he thought he would, and it turns out radishes aren't the only things he's needing. He told me to tell you not to bother opening the shop today... as much as he hates to say it."
Po looked at the big pot of noodles on the stove and sighed. Even he couldn't eat all that. "Great. Noodles?"
Tigress waved a paw. "No thank you, we really need to get the shipment to the palace before Shifu-"
"Thanks, Po. I'm famished." Viper said. She sat down at the table opposite Po.
"Me, too." Crane added as he sat down beside her.
It was a moment before Tigress joined them, taking the only remaining seat next to Po. "I'll serve up." Po slowly stood up and went into the kitchen. As he pulled four bowls from a cupboard he listened for any conversation from the table. He wasn't disappointed.
"We shouldn't really keep Master Shifu waiting." Tigress said.
"It won't hurt him to wait half an hour, Tigress." Viper spoke a little quieter than Tigress, as if she didn't want Po to overhear. The panda dipped a ladle into the pot and filled the first bowl. "Besides, you still owe Po big time."
Tigress was silent as Po filled the second bowl. Po kept his gaze on the pot, trying not to look at them. "We've already set a date." Tigress said.
"Yeah, weeks from now." Viper said, a hard edge to her voice now. "I know you're nervous, but it's not fair to make him wait and you know it."
As Po filled the last two bowls he heard Tigress breathe in and out.
"Tigress, we'll be right here to show you how it's done." Viper spoke.
"I don't know." Tigress said.
"Hey, we can't be any worse than Monkey and Mantis when Po went on that date with Ming." Crane said with a short laugh. "Should we tell him they were giving him that bad advice for a laugh?"
"Those jerks!" Po nearly yelled, but he was too relieved to know Tigress was just as scared as he was. Instead he carried the four bowls outside and slid them onto the table.
"I'm sorry I haven't brought the shipment yet." Po sat back down next to Tigress. "As I already explained, me and Su got distracted."
"Su's here?" Viper said. "Oh yes, you said something about her joining a fan club."
"She's upstairs if you want to see her." Po dug in with his chopsticks and took his first mouthful. "Just don't mention the fan club. Like I said, she's pretty ticked."
"We should probably leave her alone, then." Tigress said. "Let's talk about something else. Viper, that choker is magnificent." Po saw the amethyst choker, the one Crane had given her, around Viper's 'neck' and felt silly for not noticing it earlier.
"Thanks." Viper said with a smile. "I really love your vest. It was a birthday gift, wasn't it?"
"Yes, from Po." Tigress touched the shiny green fabric lightly. "I imagine it must be the finest silk in the province."
"Only the best for you, Tigress." Po propped his head on his arm. "Only the best for the best."
The tiny smile on Tigress's face was more than he could have hoped for. She turned her upper body to look at the statue. "I think that statue really captures your 'awesomeness', don't you think so? The pose, the proportions, that cheeky grin, if it weren't for the orange I'd think it was the real you."
"Yeah, that kid did a great job of fixing it." Po said. "I'm glad you like it, Tigress."
"Is no-one going to compliment me?" Crane asked with mild indignation.
"Your hat is wonderful, dear." Viper replied. "Anyway, it's wonderful to see you two so much closer than you were three years ago."
Po's paw slowly slid over Tigress's, touching the fingers and not the entire paw. Tigress looked down at their paws and then into Po's eyes. "Yes." She said. "It is."
Crane snickered suddenly. "I remember this one time when Po was doing his Tigress impersonations. Every single one of her expressions was this." He narrowed his eyes, set his jaw and growled. Tigress proceeded to make that exact same expression. Po didn't know whether or not to be embarrassed. "When Tigress caught him, she looked just like Master Shifu when Po broke the- Master Shifu!'
The red panda had just materialised in the archway.
Oh holy crap on a rice cracker, Po thought as he remembered not telling Shifu about his and Tigress's plans.
"There you are!" Shifu was glaring right at Po. "You were supposed to bring the shipment to the palace hours ago!" He strode into the restaurant, then stopped dead. "What exactly is going on here?"
Po felt like a dead man. Two pairs at a table eating dinner. Crane and Viper, a well known couple, and Po and Tigress, the subject of hot gossip amongst the girls. The whole scene practically screamed 'double date'.
"What? Cat got your tongue?" Shifu demanded. "It'll be a red panda getting your tongue if you don't start talking this instant! And what is that mess on the floor?"
Po opened his mouth. He didn't know what to say. Even Viper and Tigress looked speechless. Crane on the other hand... "Sorry, Master. We're just taking a break from cleaning."
"Cleaning?"
"Yeah. You see, Mr. Ping brought a new Po into the shop to bring in more customers and, well, the old Po shot him."
Shifu blinked a couple of times. He opened his mouth, but nothing came out. Then he shook his head. "You know what, forget it. I don't want to know. Just finish your meals and get those crates to the palace."
When he was gone, Po slumped over the table. Tigress let out the breath she had been holding. As for Viper, she was beaming. "I love you, Crane." And she planted a great big kiss on his forehead.
Po rubbed his forehead, astounded. "Su?!"
Su lowered her improvised catapult. "Po?"
She stood up, and Po saw that just like himself their abductors had also given Su an unusual change in wardrobe. In place of the vest and pants all kung fu students wore, Su was now wearing tight black pants and boots, a black dress with the skirt cut at the knees, and a short, vivid red coat. Po stared at her. "Why the heck are you here in this place?!"
Su stared back. "Why the heck are you dressed like a ninja?"
Po rushed forward and grabbed her in a huge bear hug. This was the best surprise he'd had since waking up in that cell. Weird clothes aside, she looked okay.
He heard a faint rumble coming from the open door. His joy faded as he remembered what was out there. He put Su down and grabbed her paw. "Come on, we've gotta get outta here."
"Wait, Po!" Su said. "Where are we?"
"No idea. Come on, and keep quiet." Po didn't know when he should tell her about Ember and the monster. Maybe once they're out of the evil laboratory of death.
He took her out the room. "Su, why are you here?" He asked again as they moved down the corridor. Su's explanation was justifiably brief. The day of the invasion, she'd been to one of the dreaded fan club meetings. Strangely she'd blacked out soon after arriving, and the next thing she knew she was in this prison. Originally she'd been held in one of the cells, but for some reason they'd moved her into that room after only four days.
They reached the end of the corridor and Po had to stop her there. "You can tell me the rest once we're out of here."
They crossed the creepy lab and Po put his ear against the opposite door. At first he heard nothing.
Click!
He flinched when he heard the sound of the door unlocking. He pushed Su behind him and stepped back. The door creaked open. Viper pulled her tail out the keyhole on the other side and gaped at the two pandas.
"Po? Su?!"
"Viper!" Su beamed.
"Oh my gosh, thank gods you're alright!" Viper slithered right past Po and embraced Su in her coils.
"Uh, Viper?"
"Oh, wait your turn, Po!" Viper scolded.
"I'm asking, are you a prisoner, too?"
"No, I snuck in here with Master Boar to rescue you and Tigress." Viper released Su and hugged Po next. "Where is she?"
Po's shoulders sank beneath her coils. "She's not here. I think she's being held in the Imperial City."
Viper leaned her head away from Po and stared at him. "Po, that's where the rest of us went. Something bad is happening there."
"Then we'd better get out of this place." Po said. "How did you get in here?"
Viper lowered herself back to the floor. "We got in through the catacombs, but the way back there is blocked. I'm the only one who can get through there."
"Great." Po muttered.
"But if we go back to the blocked passage, I can go back through, find Boar and tell him I found you. Then we can find a way to get you two out."
"Viper, we've got bigger problems than just getting out of here." Po leaned down. "Ember's here. I think she's at least partly behind what happened. And there's something else. A really freaky smoky creature that comes out of-"
"Po, what? A creature?"
"This creature came right out of a shadow and killed a guy right in front of me." Po said. "It's super dangerous."
"Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse." Viper hissed. She gently nudged Su to get her moving with her tail. "Let's go, sweetie. Don't make a sound."
No-one talked as they crept through the door and into a sandy yellow hall with four doors. Po locked eyes with Viper, waiting for her to tell them which way to go. Viper pointed to the door on the left.
The door led to a set of stairs in a grey shaft. Viper led them down, all the way to the bottom floor. A little ways down the single corridor was blocked with the pile of debris Po had been obstructed by before.
"Wait here." Viper made her way up the pile towards a small gap between the rocks. Just as she reached the hole, she stopped dead.
"Boar!" She whispered.
"Flower girl!" Boar replied from the other side. Po could barely hear what he was saying. "Flower girl, we've got a problem!"
"I know. Po warned me about Ember and the creature." Viper said.
"What? Ember's here?"
Viper glanced at Po with worry etched into her face, then turned back to the hole. "Yes. She's here. There's also this creature running around, Po told me it comes out of shadows. It killed a man, and most likely did the same to everyone else."
Boar didn't reply right away. "Goddamn it. That wasn't what I was talking about. Over two hundred soldiers have just broken and are scouring the place right now."
"Perfect." Su said. Po couldn't have put it any better.
"By the way..." Boar went on. "I found some prisoners in another cell block. Three pandas. One of them calls himself Qiang and claims to be the Dragon Warrior's father."
"Dad!" Po yelled. "Don't tell me those jerks got him, too!"
Now he was really looking forward to pummeling the scum who owned this place.
"Is that who I think it is?" Boar asked.
"Yes, we found Po and Su. Tigress is apparently being held somewhere in the Imperial City." Viper replied.
"Finally something good comes out of this mess. Look, we're never going to clear this debris in time." Boar said. "I'll go get those prisoners to safety. You're going to have to find another way." There was another rumbling sound, this one closer. "I have to go. Be careful."
Once Boar presumably left, Viper slithered down from the pile. "You heard him. Hurry, up the stairs."
"Aw man!" Po looked up the stairs they had recently descended. There must be dozens of floors. His old enemy, back for another round.
"Oh man up, Po!" Viper snapped. "If we don't hurry, they find us!"
I'm afraid that is out of the question, Po heard Ember say.
Out of nowhere the room became unbearably hot. The air gained a scarlet tint. Su moaned and pressed her paws against her head.
"Oh no." Po whispered.
Less than a second later, all hell broke loose.
It was like a giant hand had grabbed the building and started shaking it like a jar of cookies. The floor jerked beneath their feet, sending Po and Su to the floor.
"What the heck was that?!" Viper gasped as she went to help Su up.
Wincing from the throbbing pain in his elbows, Po got back up. "We've got to go. Now!"
The room shook again. Rocks and dust tumbled from the pile of debris. The lanterns swung wildly from the ceiling, two breaking away and crashing to the floor.
"Up the stairs! Now!" Viper yelled.
"What about my dad?"
"Let Boar take care of it, now go!" Po lifted Su over his shoulder and started up the stairs, Viper not far behind. By the third floor the shaking was violent and persistent, and pieces of wall and ceiling were crumbling away. All the while, Su was curling up in pain on his shoulder.
A chunk the size of a skull shattered on a step a foot before Po. "Oh crap! Oh crap!"
Viper furiously smacked the back of his head, forcing him onward. His legs were burning at the tenth floor. They received a moment's relief when the worst quake yet knocked Po to the floor. Su fell from his grasp and rolled away. As Po's eyes followed her, they could something even scarier. A bright red substance crept from a crack in the wall. The heat became worse. Po realised with a lurching of his stomach that he was looking at lava. Like thick liquid fingers, tendrils of lava gripped the edges of the crack and forced them apart with tremendous noise. Daylight burst through and hurt Po's eyes.
"Oh god!" Viper shrieked behind him. "She's tearing the building apart!"
Adrenaline rushing, Po retrieved Su and continued up the stairs, the fire in his legs no longer a concern. Five floors up, there were massive holes in the walls, some ringed with white-hot lava. Three more floors, they passed a burning door. Near the next floor, the stairs crumbled away behind them. Another six floors later, they were at the top. Po put Su down and kicked the heavy wooden door to pieces.
They had reached the roof at the very top of the prison. The wind was fierce, but did nothing to quell the heat. Po dragged Su and Viper outside and they raced across to the nearest battlements. He saw the side of the mountain, devoid of trees, going thousands of feet down into the distance.
Po spun to face Viper. "Now what?!"
Before Viper could answer, the roof broke apart like a plate.
Po's stomach shot upwards as the piece of roof they were standing on plummeted. Fire and rock shot past them in a blur. Beside him, Viper let out a sharp scream. He reached out and grabbed Su's arm.
Their piece of roof hit a lower floor, knocking Po once more off his feet, tilted, and slid straight out of a lava ringed hole in the outer wall. With a bone shattering crash it hit the mountainside. Just when Po thought things couldn't get any worse, they started sliding.
Viper screamed for them to hold on as they slid faster and faster, tearing a wide ragged gash in the mountainside. Dirt and rock showered them relentlessly. Po couldn't hear anything but the sound of things breaking apart.
They hit a rock and Po was flying for a single moment. He spun in midair and fell back onto the piece of roof. Now on his front and facing behind them, Po saw the burning prison above breaking apart into three separate pieces. The thought of his birth father, those two parents he suspected were Su's missing parents, and Boar being in there made him want to scream, but then Su beat him to it.
"Po, look out!" Viper cried.
Po turned on his back and let out a bad word.
Of course there would be a cliff.
A cliff with a big thin rock that they were heading right for.
"Po!" Viper wrapped herself around Su. Her tail reached for Po's paw.
Then they hit rock, their impromptu sled breaking in two pieces that went right over the cliff.
Clinging to the battlement on his half, Po saw nothing but forest below them. This time he screamed for the entire world to hear. He caught a glimpse of Viper and Su on their half of the rooftop, flying like a skipping stone to the right.
He thought of his birth dad, then his adoptive dad. Then Tigress.
Then came the trees.
