Author's note: This story is the fourth installment of the "Songs About Jane" series, which revolves around Jane Morgan. The first story is "Calamity Jane," the second is "Paint Them a Picture, Jane," and the third is "Queen Jane Approximately." Reading those stories beforehand isn't essential to this one, but they would just some helpful context.


Jane, Age 7

School during the first grade isn't all that fun- Jane's teacher, Ms. Elliman, is really grumpy. But the people at school are lots of fun. Jane has not one best friend, but two: Diana Lynch and Trixie Belden. Also, the other kids at school are great, too. Both of Trixie's brothers, Brian and Mart, are nice, and so is Jane's own brother, Bill, as well as Tad Webster, a second-grader who Jane thinks is very handsome.

After school sometimes, Jane gets to go to Diana's apartment. Mr. And Mrs. Lynch are very nice, and the way they talk to Jane always makes her feel special, like she can be proud of who she is. Other times, Trixie and Diana come over to Jane's house, which isn't as fun. Mr. And Mrs. Lynch both work, though, and so do Jane's parents, so more often, all of them- Jane, Diana, Bill, Trixie, and Trixie's brothers- all go to the Belden house. The Beldens live at a place called Crabapple Farm. They own a lot of land, and the mansion next to them is empty, which means there are even more places to play.

Crabapple Farm is wonderful. Mrs. Belden is always home, and spends a lot of time in the large, sunny kitchen making food that smells delicious and tastes even better. When Mr. Belden is at home, he's always kind and never makes Jane feel unwelcome or unwanted. And there's always an adventure waiting outside, in the gardens, in the orchard, or in the woods behind the house. Best of all, the Beldens host a joint birthday party for Trixie and Jane, because their birthdays are both in the first week of May.

Crabapple Farm feels more like a home to Jane than any other place she's ever been. After first grade ends and summer begins, she is devastated- what if she can't go to the Farm anymore? But Mr. And Mrs. Belden put her fears to rest when she hears them assuring her parents that she and Bill are welcome anytime.

Jane's father is not pleased about the arrangement. Her parents argue about it at night when Bill and Jane are supposed to be asleep. Jane and Bill live on the third floor of their house, but if they sit in the middle of the first staircase, they can hear every word their parents say, cutting through the otherwise quiet house.

"Is there a reason, Elissa, you think it's appropriate to dump our children on some poor woman who already has three of her own to take care of?" Their father demands.

"For God's sake, Troy, it's not like I don't expect to do anything for them in return. I buy groceries for the Beldens when they need them. I send them wine at the holidays and constantly give them thank you gifts. Besides, Helen offers to take the kids, because she knows how much all of them like to play together. And they're outside, entertaining themselves, not inside pestering her," their mother retorts.

The voice of their father gets angrier. "You know, if you would just say at home like Helen does, we wouldn't have to have the embarrassment of constantly foisting our children on other people. But instead, they have to carpool home from swim team and we hire a housekeeper, all because you won't stay at home and let me be the provider, as the husband should be!"

"This argument again?" Their mother simply sounds tired. "We can more than afford a housekeeper, Bill. And I pay gas money to the families Jane and Bill carpool with. As for my work, well, have you ever considered my career means as much to me as yours does to you?"

Their father's voice explodes with outrage, and Bill gets up and starts back towards their own floor. On their way up both staircases, they close each door at the top, like they do every night in their house.

"Let's go to bed," he says. "I can bring out my sleeping bag. You can stay in my room."

"Why do Mom and Dad fight so much?" Jane asks. "Mr. and Mrs. Belden don't argue like that. And neither do Mr. and Mrs. Lynch."

"They're just upset, Jane," Bill tells her. "They're upset. That's all."

Their mother still seems upset the following day. It's a Saturday, which means no swim team. Their mother is at home, and their father is absent, but Jane doesn't mind very much. But her mother stands by the window, holding a cup of tea with both hands, and listlessly looking outside.

Trying to distract her mother, Jane peppers her with questions. "Why did you name me 'January'?" She asks. "My birthday is in May."

"Yes, it is," her mother agrees, with a voice that sounds like it's supposed to be cheerful, but really just sounds fake. "But your birthday is on the sixth of May, like your father's birthday is on the sixth of January, which is the Epiphany. When you were born, your father was reminded of his own birthday, and gave you 'January' as a first name, and 'Epiphany' as your second middle name. He also gave you the middle name of 'Delilah,' to remember his younger sister by," she explains, naming Jane's now deceased paternal aunt. "In a way, your father named you after himself."

"I know all that," Jane replies testily, annoyed she's being told old information as if it were new. "I just think it's weird to give me the name of a month I wasn't even born in." In Jane's mind, the explanation for her name is the stupidest reason to ever exist, especially her father apparently thinking of only his own birthday on the day she was born.

"Well, Jane," her mother's tone begins to sound irritated, "if you dislike your name that much, you can change it when you're older."

"I don't not like it," Jane protested. "I just think it's weird, that's all."

Her mother sighs. "Whatever you want, Jane." She places her mug in the kitchen sink. "I'm going upstairs to lie down. Try not to make too much noise."

Bored at being left on her own, Jane wanders outside to the front yard, bringing with her the Queen Elizabeth Royal Diaries book she's not supposed to read because according to her mother, "it's too mature." She doesn't understand most of it, though, so she settles for moping.

Bill is lucky- he's got to go to a friend's birthday party at a video game arcade in White Plains. Jane wishes she could have gone along with him, because he's told her about a snowmobile racing game that sounds really exciting, and she would like to try it.

The rest of Jane's morning and most of her afternoon is spent outside. She doesn't see her mother the entire time and guesses she's still lying down.

When dinner time isn't too far away, Jane hears her father's car coming up the long driveway. Not in the mood to talk with him or anyone else by this point, Jane dashes to the backyard and settles herself in the tree house.

Two car doors open and close instead of one- he must have picked up Bill from the party. And Bill's probably brought home a goody bag of really cool toys. Well, Jane's just going to stay in the tree house until her mother or father forces her to leave.

Her father comes searching for her sooner than she expected, though. He's dressed in nice clothes, not work clothes, but church-style clothes, and he's carrying a tall box.

"Hello, Jane," he says with a smile. "Good to see you."

Not smiling back, Jane eyes him warily. "Where were you all day? Mom was sad, and nothing I did could cheer her up."

Her father clears his throat. "I know Bill got to go to his friend's birthday today, so I figured you could use some fun yourself." He holds out the box. "Here you go."

The box contains Kit, an American Girl Doll Jane's been pestering her parents about for the past several weeks. Even though Jane should be happy, a strange feeling overcomes her in its place, and all she can think of is the argument between her parents the previous night.

"What's the matter?" Her father asks, still smiling. "Don't you think she's pretty?" He nods at the doll.

Jane should be happy. Jane should be polite and thank him.

But instead, a question bursts forth from her mouth. "Why did you name me 'January'? I was born in May."

For a moment, her father simply stares at her, and when he speaks, his tone is irritated. "Your mother and I have already explained this to you several times. You were named after me."

With that, he sighs and walks away, talking the doll with him. He doesn't look at angry, but Jane can tell he is, and she wonders if tonight he'll yell at her instead of Mom.


In the middle of the night, Jane wakes up. She's scared but not sure why, and she can't get rid of the idea she's not alone in her room. But she sleeps with the curtains completely drawn and all lights shut off, so she can't tell.

"Hello?" She calls uncertainly.

The silence in her pitch dark room is her only answer.