Diana, Age 8
Crabapple Farm, Trixie's house, is great, but Diana doesn't think she's ever seen a more wonderful house than the Sammael home. It's enormous on the inside, and the outside has a huge yard and all sorts of pretty gardens. Not only does Jane's family have a housekeeper to cook and clean for them, but they also have a gardener to make sure their lawn always looks nice. The furniture is fancy, and never fails to make Diana imagine she's in a castle from a storybook. Jane herself has a huge room with all sorts of beautiful dresses, toys, and hair decorations. Diana would love to come and live with Jane.
But even though they have a wonderful house, Diana can't help but notice no one in the Sammael family seems all that happy. Jane and Bill are both nice, with Jane giving Diana all sorts of treasures to take home, and Bill is friendly and helps them when they need it. But Jane's mother always seems like she's ready to start yelling or crying at any minute. And Jane's father isn't at home very often, but when he is, he never remembers the names of Diana or the Beldens.
Sometimes, Diana is just amazed at how much stuff the Sammaels own. Every other day, it seems like Jane and Bill get a new toy, or their parents have bought a special piece of furniture none of the children are allowed to touch. The Sammaels often go out for dinner, or have construction men in their yard to do work on a certain part of the property.
Diana lives with her parents in a small apartment, and her bedroom is a tiny room that used to be a supply closet. She gets presents for Christmas and her birthday, and those presents are usually clothes. She knows her family doesn't have very much money; her parents couldn't give her anything to spend at the book fair or on the school field trip. Both times, though, Jane bought things for her.
She's not really sure how Jane's family has so much money when all they do is spend, and her parents have so little money when all they do is save.
Jane and Bill certainly never seem to wonder about it. They play at Trixie's house more often than anyone else's, and Diana guesses it's because three out of their group of six live there. Sometimes, though, they all go over to Jane and Bill's house, and that's what Diana likes best. She doesn't mean to be greedy, but she likes all the sorts of presents Jane gives her.
"Why haven't you opened your doll, Jane?" Diana asks once, when she and Trixie are visiting Jane. Mart and Brian aren't over this time, because Bill is staying after school for a program. "Isn't Kit the doll you really wanted for a while?"
She's admiring the American Girl Doll in Jane's room. The doll is still in its box, like it's part of a store. Dust has gathered on the box lid; months have passed since the doll first appeared in Jane's room, and from Diana can tell, even the box has never once been touched since then.
Jane looks up from where she's rummaging through her toy chest. Trixie is beside her, holding two kaleidoscopes and trying to see into both at once.
Looking at the doll as if she's surprised to find it in her room, Jane shrugs. "I thought I wanted it, but I don't want it as much now that I have it," she tells Diana. "Do you want her?"
The words cause an ache in Diana. She does want the doll, all new and pretty in its box, brand new just for her, not a hand-me-down from one of the church children. She wants the doll more than anything else in the world. But she knows she can't accept such a gift, especially since she knows from hopefully gazing at the catalogues from the mail that American Girl Dolls cost a lot of money.
"I couldn't," Diana says, because she knows she has to. "But thank you."
Jane turns to Trixie. "Do you want it?"
"No thanks," Trixie replies, now alternating the kaleidoscopes on each eye. "I already have my doll, Dinah, at home."
A little bit before dinner time, Mrs. Belden shows up to whisk Trixie off.
"I'd really love to stay and chat, but I must be off. Peter's watching the boys and cooking dinner, and the last time that happened, Brian and Mart got into Apocalypse Now. Poor Mart had nightmares for weeks," Mrs. Belden says.
"Mart still has nightmares?" Jane repeats, her eyes wide. Diana shares her astonishment that someone like Mart Belden, who seems so adventurous and fearless, has bad dreams like anyone else.
"Well, you've got no room to talk!" Mrs. Sammael says to Jane sharply. "Your father told me you were having a nightmare and yelling in your sleep not a week ago!"
For some reason, Diana is uncomfortable with the way Mrs. Sammael talks to Jane in front of everyone else. It brings her back to the moment on the first day of first grade, when another girl made fun of her dress. Again, she can't help but think it seems like Jane's mother doesn't really like Jane too much.
Luckily for them, Mrs. Belden says her goodbyes and the topic switches, and with their mothers focused on talking to each other, Diana and Jane can go back to playing. The look on Jane's face is weird, almost like she's scared and sad at the same time, so Diana suggests they start hide-and-seek, one of Jane's favorite games. Diana hides first and Jane seeks, and Diana dashes into Jane's room and shields herself behind the window draperies.
For a long time, she stays there, waiting for Jane to find her. Several times, Jane walks in and checks the room, but she never finds Diana's hiding spot. Finally, after what her Minnie Mouse watch (a gift from Jane) times as fifteen minutes, Diana decides to surrender, and abandons her cover to see where Jane went off to.
She comes across Jane calling for her on the ground floor, having given up the search.
"Didn't you go upstairs and call for me?" Diana asks.
"Yeah, but not the third floor. Only the second, and the door to the third floor staircase was closed," Jane says.
"You must have really had a bad nightmare, huh?" Diana remarks without thinking.
Jane looks at her, confused. "What do you mean?"
Even though she doesn't want to explain, Diana does. "What your mother said about your nightmare," she answers awkwardly. "That you were yelling when you were asleep. If I couldn't hear you shouting from the second floor when I was on the third, you must have really been screaming for your father to hear you on the third floor from his room on the second floor."
"Oh," Jane says, and Diana feels embarrassed, knowing she's gone and said the wrong thing.
Because of what she's said, Jane looks both scared and sad again.
On impulse, Diana surges forward and hugs Jane. She can feel Jane trembling when she does.
