Chapter 3: If We Send Donkeys To School

This pretty much sums up my week:

Sunday- Slept all day. Work all night.

Monday-Second verse same as the first.

Tuesday -Slept in and enjoy being off for today. Not! Laundry plus food shopping multiplied by Gran's Descendants of the Glorious Dead meeting on Sunday and all the preparations we had to make. Invitations, decorations, food, true blood, safety precautions, etc.

Wednesday-Slept in and went to work tired anyway. Got to bed around 4am.

Thursday-I planned to go into town to do some window shopping and such in the afternoon but Arlene called out early in the morning and Sookie isn't scheduled until night...Arlene was supposed to be in at 6am to help out with the truck. Best day off ever. Because you're reading this, you might not catch the sarcasm but that last comment was dripping with it.

Friday-Night work. Busy as fuck. Hating people again. Got tips like crazy though so I must be one Hell of an actress.

Saturday-Night work

Sunday-My day off and I spent it with Gran. I felt like I was being too damn responsible to a part of the family with all the work I've been doing. We only just found each other and I've been living like I've always been there. They liked me living with them and we get along so well that if I had seen this in a TV sitcom or some shit like that I probably would've made fun, or criticized it right off the air or something. Now that this is happened to me, I just fell into what most would call a normal routine. Besides being 25 and not dating anyone, I go to work, hang out with friends, enjoy family, and do chores around the house to help out since Grann refused my rent agreement. "You're my grandbaby. I won't have family paying rent. I don't accept any from Sookie and I won't take any from you. Besides, you've been so helpful with the laundry and the dishes. I almost feel like paying you, you do so much." Today, Gran and I are putting the finishing touches on her meeting of The Descendants of the Glorious Dead scheduled tonight. We were enjoying our company and we got a chance to get to know one another. She started to teach me how to knit and crochet and we talked about where I grew up, why I choose to travel and the like. "Now I may not know as much as some on such matters as these, but what I do know is that you know you truly love where you were when you miss it but you can only love something...or someone if you give it a chance to grow on you." Gran always seemed so wise. Most of the week I spent here was dampened by the fact that there was a serial killer on the loose and it seemed the town thought it was Jason. There was that and the fact that Sookie and Bill were no longer together due to a fight they had at that vampire bar out in Shreveport. The phones were ringing early this morning and I secretly listened in as Gran got chewed out by what seemed to be the whole town about a vampire coming to the church and speaking to The Descendants of the Glorious Dead. She didn't seem bothered by it and the way Gran sees it is the way I see it too. They'll all come out to see the vampire as it will be too taboo to miss and the whole town will see that he's just like most of the people around these parts and that while he is a vampire, he was once human, too.

Sookie, who was no longer with Bill got asked out by Sam in front of everybody at Merlotte's. They're going together in his car and Jason, who is high out of his mind on V, said he'd be my date. I just couldn't tell Gran that Jason was taking drugs. I didn't know how. Besides, if he was nice enough to offer to be my date while on V, maybe he wasn't too far gone. I planned on telling Sookie later but today was supposed to be for Gran. Aside from all that, Sookie and I went to the station and gave them what we collectively came up with for what happened all those years ago. As I walked to my truck I got a phone call from Sam. I debated whether or not to answer but decided to keep a good standing with answering the phone and prepared to put my foot down. "Hello?" "Hey, Soph. Listen, I know you're spending the day with your Gran but I could really use the help after the meeting cuz I just know it'll get packed tighter than sardines in a pill box, what d'ya say?" "Sure. I don't mind if it's after." "Great. Thanks so much. This'll be a big help." "Yeah, yeah, I know. I'm just too awesome for my own good. Just take good care of Sookie, Sam or I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll kick your door in and you don't wanna know what comes next." I joked. "Shoot. You're a crazy one, d'you know that? A good sister but a crazy one." "Just don't forget it. Take care Sam. Bye." "See ya, Soph." with that taken care of I figured I should call Jason and tell him that I'll be a little late swinging by his place for our 'date.' He said it was no problem and that we could stop for ice cream on the way. He claims to be craving it but I think that he just wants to reclaim a small brother/sister bond over a childish ice cream adventure but I wasn't going to point it out. I mean come on! Free ice cream! What girl in their right mind says no? Or child for that matter! Plus, it was going to make Jason feel good for doing it. No real harm, right?

So, I dropped off Gran At the church around 5 so she could start setting up and went home to throw my uniform in my truck as well as a few personal effects so I can ready myself to perfection in the bathroom at work. From there, I drove to pick up Jason. I got a little lost and then we wound up hitting rush hour traffic. By the time we got there, we were the last to arrive and there weren't two seats together. He sat next to Tara and I sat next to Andy, the detective who's name is Detective Bellefleur as I found out from the talk we had about my disappearance at the station. I was in an aisle seat so Detective Bellefleur was the only one I had to sit next to and next to him was the sheriff Bud Dearborne, who made disrespectful comments about vampires and even lashed out at Detective Andy by talking bad about his cousin Terry. I never knew that Andy and Terry were related. Terry is still a little shy around me because he doesn't really like change but he's just as sweet as can be. I know Terry is a war veteran from Iraq and he suffers from PTSD but Bud Dearborne was really starting to piss me off. "Hey, Sheriff Dearborne. With all due respect, shut the fuck up. You aren't being discreet and I don't care for your dumbass prejudice commentary. I actually find this interesting and you are distracting me so knock it the Hell off." If looks could kill I wouldn't just be dead. I'd be dead and buried. Detective Bellefleur however, gave me a look of approval and newfound respect. I nodded in acknowledgement and faced the front again. "Thank you." I said as I no longer heard bigoted comments nor any snide remarks. I heard someone snickering behind me and recognised it as Lafayette. I held my hand behind my chair and we secretly did a low 5. "You is a fierce woman, child. Mm! Go 'head wit ya bad self, now!" he said in a discreet voice that Bud did not hear. "Keepin' it real cuz that's how to deal, you feel?" I reply without Bud hearing me. He snickers a bit more at my street self and as I go back to paying attention I see Bill was watching the whole exchange and he seemed to like my intervention. He gave a half smile and a very slight nod in my direction and I could tell he knew what went down. He really can hear that far. I had no clue.

After the speech, everyone seemed to instantly warm up to him. Maxine Thortonberry, who is a haughty and nosy bitch with the umbilical cord wrapped around her grown son's throat, actually wanted to take a picture with him as did her son. I know she's a hard mind to change so I think that that's probably the biggest win. Terry walked clear on up and hugged him all teary eyed. I felt like Terry has a lot more going on in his mind than people give him credit for. Bill eventually made his way over to see me. "Was I imaging you telling the sheriff to shut the fuck up or do you actually have that much nerve?" he said with a smile. "Don't get me wrong. I tolerate you because my sister cares, even if you're not together anymore but even I can't stand it when a God damn fool sits his ass on his high horse and looks condescendingly down on people like that. It's bad enough that it happens but he's supposed to represent our legal system and our government and he can keep that shit to himself. I mean really! If he said something like that about a black man, he would swiftly fired and out on his ass because no one wants to hire a racist. The same should hold true for everyone. Sorry for winding up for a long one. It's a pet peeve and people like that get under my skin the most." "No. Thank you. It isn't often a human can move a vampire so. Your compassion is most extraordinary. You stand true to your beliefs and refuse to be forced into a mold of society's ideals. I must say I respect your individuality." Bill said and excused himself as more people were wanting to talk to him. "Hooker, you have some balls hidden beneath that girlish figure! I ain't never seen Sheriff Dearborne look so savage than when you told him to shut his dumbass prejudice commentary the fuck up. I thought he would actually shoot you right then and there. I was all 'ooh he gonna put a cap in her ass' but naw! He just took your damn good advice. You a feisty one. You lucky he didn't arrest you on sight but you feisty." Lafayette enthused. "I can't help it if I don't stand for people to refuse to learn and then open their mouths and let all of their stupid fall out. I just don't care for it and I won't stand for it."

Andy and Bud could be seen making their way over and I could see that Bud was looking to settle the score. "Lafayette. You get Tara now and start recording with as many phones as possible. Now." I hissed quickly. He hurried to follow what I said. Bud spotted me as the phones of many went up and on the scene. He walked over and started. "Sophee, I'm taking you to the station. Let's go." "Hang on! What are you charging me with?" I demanded. "Public disorderly behavior." he replied "Under which category was I creating an infraction? I wasn't the one disturbing people with hateful and bigoted commentary." I replied. "The one that insults an officer of the law." he said in a clipped tone. "That isn't against the law so long as I was only talking and not in any way physically touching or impeding an investigation. I'm free to tell you when your head is so far up your ass that that's the reason why you see nothing but shit. There's nothing illegal about it!" I retorted. "Are you evading arrest?" he asked. "My dear Sheriff Dead Brain, you have not given me a reason for the initial arrest nor am I running. Simply because I called you out on several prejudice comments you do not have the right to retaliate with a completely bogus arrest." I snipped. "It's not bogus! You directly insulted an officer of the law. Now you can come quietly or I can force you into the back of the police car." he shouted. "The First Amendment to the United States Constitution prohibits the making of any law respecting an establishment of religion, impeding the free exercise of religion, abridging the freedom of speech, infringing on the freedom of the press, interfering with the right to peaceably assemble or prohibiting the petitioning for a governmental redress of grievances. That means I know more than the average blonde and so I will not go along with your bogus arrest but I am heading to work and you are going to the station. Or wherever you want to go but I have the right to say what I want and I want you to say hi to all the cameras recording you for the pompous ignoramus you really are." He looks around to see everyone with a camera phone or video camera or even a digital camera that also takes photos is now on him and boy does he look dumbstruck. He walks away looking so mad, you'd think that the whole town pissed on him. Andy recovers quick and exclaims, "Yeah! We showed him! Good work, everybody." He flexed his muscles as he did this. "Alright! There ain't nothing to see here people! Get back to partying! Nothing stupid just happened! Just be sure to hold those videos to get out of those nasty parking tickets." Lafayette said shooing people out of our way.

"Jason, I'm really late. Can we just go. Please?" He sighs and rubs his eyes. "...Yeah. Let's get the fuck out of here...I can't believe it. Bud...I never knew he could stoop so low." "It's a crying shame but that's what happens when you send donkeys to school. We really need to jet. Bye Gran! Sorry to snap and run. It was a wonderful turnout. See you at home." We raced back to my truck laughing away and jumped in. Jason drove and we still stopped for ice cream. We wolfed it down and raced Jason back into the truck where I started to pull my work stuff together in a nice neat bag so I can pretend I have it altogether, even if I don't. Jason pulled up to his place and I took the driver's as soon as he got out. "Thank you kindly, Jason Stackhouse. You know how to date a girl righ'!" I say in a very convincing Southern accent. "Shoot. It was my pleasure. Hey...about that thing with Bud? What did you mean with that whole sending donkeys to school thing?" "Wow. Really? Basically it goes like this, we don't send donkeys to school because then we have a smartass. See ya, bro!" As he stood there laughing like a hyena, I put the car back into drive and pulled out of the driveway. I must have been just ahead of the crowds. It wasn't packed when I got there but given 3 minutes later. Shoot me.