Chapter 1
"Anakin," Padme whispered, her touch soft as her fingers brushed over my bare shoulder, "you're trembling, what's the matter?" Her voice was so quiet, so soft and so pained, and yet when she spoke, I trembled all over. She's so pure, so good, that even the sound of her voice makes me want to kiss her all over.
I sat up in bed, pushing the covers off of me. The sheets rustled beneath me, the only sound audible in the dead quiet room. I looked down at her, she seemed sleepy as though she'd just woken up. She probably did. She rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand, pushing the sleep away. She's adorable, so small and so sweet yet so strong and beautiful all at the same time.
"Nothing," I breathed, my voice involuntarily shaky, "just... a nightmare. How's the baby? Are you feeling okay?"
Padme looked up at me, her dark eyes gleamed in the inky black darkness of the bedroom. "What about?" she mouthed, ignoring my questions, her expression falling to something more serious. I tried to avoid her eyes, I didn't want to burden her with my endless problems. Especially now that we were going to be parents.
I stayed silent.
"Ani, tell me."
Her voice was so sweet, so soft, caressing my ears in a way no one else could. All I really wanted to do was just hold her, I didn't want to tell her about my nightmares, my visions I couldn't escape from.
She touched my arms, her hand soft and welcoming and gentle all at the same time. I looked over to her, touched her face to comfort her. I didn't want her to worry about me.
"It doesn't matter," I smile, "it was just a dream, nothing more."
She didn't smile back.
I lay down next to her, pulling her into my arms, holding her close to me. I could feel her warmth, her touch, the feeling of her melting into me as I held her tight against my body. "Anakin," she whispered.
I stroked her hair, running my fingers through the soft strands.
"Anakin?" she said again.
"Anakin, tell me what's going on."
Silence...
...
...
...
"Ani!"
"Yes, my love?"
"Are you sure everything's okay?"
"Of course."
But it wasn't. My nightmares felt so real. But I wouldn't let them become real, I would save Padme, and the baby, at all costs.
I touched her waist, pulling her closer toward me. She looked up at me with half-lidded eyes, her lips parted and her cheeks flushed. I couldn't help but caress her cheek, feeling her soft skin against my hand. "You're so beautiful, Padme," I said.
"Anakin..." Her voice was barely audible as her lips mouthed my name.
I leant into her, pulling the covers over her bare arms. She was so cold. I kissed her, my lips met hers again and again, her lips soft against my own. I hold her waist, kissing her with so much passion I can barely control myself. She kissed me back, her lips against my lips and my body against her body and I could barely even think let alone breathe and oh my God this kiss.
This kiss was everything.
Her love was everything.
She was my everything and I continued to kiss her while all of these thoughts were running through my nightmare ridden head, soothing my pain, reminding me that I had her.
But not anymore.
Now I am nothing more than a slave to the dark side. A murderer. A fool. I lost Padme because of my stupidity, because I was so determined to keep her alive. I was stupid, wasn't I? Allowing myself to be seduced by the power of the dark side of the force, allowing myself to destroy and shatter my everything.
What is wrong with me?
