Hello everybody. This chapter is going to wrap up the doom-and-gloom portion of the book, so look forward to bad puns and happy times. Also, I realize that some of Percy's thoughts here are illogical, but they're meant to be. He's not in a proper state of mind, and I'm attempting to reflect that.

I Talk with Old Friends (Part 1)

Percy POV

When I woke up in my cabin, it was still dark. Rolling over to check the time, the clock read 3 a.m. But he couldn't stay in his bed. Not after the last nightmare. He had to stay awake. It would mean that the faces in his mind, while they would never go away, could only stare at him accusingly. They couldn't speak to him, reinforcing his guilt. I decided to go for a walk, and headed towards the beach. Maybe the pain would be more bearable there.

As I walked, I realized how dark it was tonight. Typically, Camp Half-Blood's magical borders left clear skies. But this was different. I couldn't even see the moon, let alone the stars. My black mood seemed to pollute the surrounding environment. It left me feeling very alone, which was perfectly with me - the alternative was staring up at the constellation of Zoe Nightshade. That would just be one more face in my mind.

When I reached the beach, for the first time in my life, my mood worsened. The impenetrable darkness, combined with a thick fog, meant that I couldn't even get a clear look at the sea. I could hear it though, and sensed it's restlessness. Angry waves struck the beach, creating a deep boom, rocking the shoreline. Far in the distance, thunder seemed to echo the sea's unhappiness.

I sat down on one of the dunes. The waves and wind battered me, but I didn't move. It felt good, as the constant noise distracted me from my thoughts. I didn't bother trying to keep myself dry, so I was soaked to the skin. It was freezing, but I secretly hoped that the numbing sensation in my fingers would spread throughout the rest of my body. I paused for a moment as I considered that this might be a fraction of what Nico felt like all the time. And apparently I'd only added to his troubles, according to Jason. What the fuck is wrong with me? How have I never realized what I've been doing to people? When I start to think about it, I'd only ever been a burden to my loved ones.

When we were twelve, Grover had been forced to take care of me, as a protector. I'd run off on him, and it almost got the two of us killed, along with my mother. If I had just waited for him like he'd asked, we would have reached Camp safely. Then, he wouldn't have had to deal with the shame of failure, thinking he had not protected her properly. He'd blamed himself, but really, it was my fault.

And my mom….not only did she spend time as Hades' prisoner, she'd spent years living with Gabe, which was basically a prison in itself. She'd had to work her ass off for years to provide for me, and I'm pretty sure Gabe had hit her, more than once. She'd put her life on hold for me, she could have written her book years ago. Or met a guy like Paul when she was young, rather than spending a decade married to Smelly Ugliano.

My relationship with Annabeth really wasn't all that different. If I wasn't around, she'd probably have graduated college as a full-fledged engineer by now. She'd constantly had to stop and explain everything to me because I'm so fucking stupid. Not to mention, she'd been in danger multiple times when my enemies hoped to use her as bait, like Luke did two and a half years ago. She'd had to bear the weight of the sky. That was on me.

I didn't even begin to list the all the times she'd been hurt because of my failings, although taking a poison knife for me last summer was definitely the worst case. I should be able to fucking defend myself. I'm a liability to everyone around me, and if I really cared about any of them I'd get as far away as possible and never come back.

But I knew that would never work. Annabeth would hunt for me to the ends of the earth - she'd proved that this year. But if I were gone for good…. I stared into the darkness of the sea, and made my decision.

It's not as if anyone needed me anymore. Kronos and Gaea had been defeated. Grover was busy enough with the Council, and maybe even getting a family started with Juniper. My mom would work on her book, and hopefully live out her days with Paul. And Annabeth...she had the brightest future if I wasn't included. She was going to become the greatest architect who ever lived, so long as I wasn't there holding her down. I stepped into the surf.

I was already soaked and freezing, so I didn't even notice the water initially. I took step after step. With waves like these like these, I just had to concentrate on stemming my powers to breathe underwater. The current would do the rest. It was only a few moments before I was submerged, and the ocean began to push and pull my body in different directions. Down was up. Up was down. I had no sense of anything. Pure bliss. "Finally," I thought to myself.

But suddenly everything stopped. The water was still as glass. There was a huge vibration and an eruption of bubbles from the sea floor. They pushed me, and for a moment I wasn't sure if I was headed to the surface or the depths of Long Island Sound. But then I was catapulted outward from the water, launched through the air, landing face-first on the beach. I had barely landed when a voice spoke in my mind.

"I will not pretend to understand what you are experiencing," said my father. "Perhaps I cannot stop you from….acting on your feelings. But you will never taint my domain with the blood of my pride and joy. I will not stand for such an abomination." His anger was clear to me, from his tone. But the sea remained in its tranquil state. "I am sending those who may be able to talk some sense into you," Poseidon stated with a finality in his voice.

I didn't have much time to think about it. The mist seemed to collect, concentrating itself into two humanoid figures which approached me, gliding over the surface of the water. As they grew closer, their features sharpened, becoming more defined. Upon reaching the shore, Charles Beckendorf and Silena Beauregard stood before me, with adjoined hands. They both smiled, but their eyes betray their sadness.

"No," I mutter. "No, no, no, no…" I start to stalk up the the dunes. I can't do this. I can't face them. Especially not tonight.

Beckendorf tries to speak. "Percy-"

"No!" I cut in. "I'm not….I can't deal with this!" I'm still walking away, but the two figures appear in front of me now, blocking my path.

Silena looks as though she is on the verge of tears now. "Percy, please...we have to talk to you. This is important." Her expression stops me. I've never seen her so upset, except perhaps after Charlie died. But this is different. There's no tears. It's not just sadness, it's...concern. I sigh and flop down onto the sand, into a sitting position. Standing is just one more challenge I can't face right now.

"Percy, what you just did…" Beckendorf's expression is almost identical to Silena's, which surprises me. It didn't quite fit, an alien set of features which did not match with the big, burly smith I had come to know. He was tough, but not exactly great with feelings - just like his father. Or so I thought.

"You need to stop blaming yourself," Silena says to me. There's something new in her voice. Determination. "Charlie and I, we made our choices in life. We died to protect our camp and our friends. That has nothing to do with you, it never has and never will."

I'm stung by the sharpness of her words. I'd always known Silena as kind and gentle. But I suppose something about this whole scene had brought out something in her. Her tone cut through me like a scalpel, as if she was reopening scabs that had become infected sometime during the healing process.

Beckendorf kneels in front of me. I have my head hung, but he raises my chin so that I'm staring directly into his eyes. He places his other hand on my shoulder.

"Perce, listen to me. That day, on the Princess Andromeda, you know what I was thinking about?" He paused, and motioned to Silena. "Her, and the rest of the camp. What I was dying for. I did what I did because of this place." We're standing at the top of the dune, and he casts his arms out behind him. You can barely see the camp because of the darkness, but torches light up some areas.

"And now I get to spend the rest of eternity with her," Beckendorf continues. "That's all I could ever ask for myself. But I'm gone, Percy. And so is Silena, and Ethan, Luke, and all the others. Even you will be eventually. But in the meantime...Camp Half-Blood, and everyone in it, need to be protected. I can't do that anymore - but you can. And you're the best we've got." He smiles, and his eyes fall for a moment. But he raises them again.

"The people here, they should be your reason to stay. You're a demigod Percy! There will always be monsters to fight. Gaea and Kronos being gone...that doesn't change anything. If you think for a heartbeat that Grover, Annabeth, Nico, Piper...that any of them are safe now, think again.

I didn't move. My knees are up to my chest, and I sit for a long while after Beckendorf finishes. I wasn't sure what to think. The faces...I still couldn't get them out of my head. Charlie was right, I had a duty to protect the camp. But I couldn't keep living like this, with the ghosts of the past whispering in my ear day and night.

"We have to go, Percy," Silena says quietly. It felt wrong to let them leave without saying anything to them.

"You both deserved better," I mutter.

For the first time in what feels like years, I hear laughter. Beckendorf's booming chuckles echo in the night. "Better than an eternity with a daughter of Aphrodite?" he says. "You must think pretty highly of my Percy."

A hint of a smile forces it's way onto my face. I can't help but feel happy for these two. With the insane world we lived in, a relationship like theirs was tough to find. "You deserved each other," I correct myself. They both smile back at me, but then they're gone, and the fog dissipates.