A Star Trek Fiction
"For the relationship between Bones and Kirk, because they're awesome, but without each other they would be lame. Besides, who doesn't love the two together?"
The Couch and The Bed
5xs Kirk Had to Sleep on the Couch & 5xs Bones Had to Share his Bed
Story 5: Don't Hesitate
Jim wakes up with a shock. He bolts upright, releasing a large breath. His body is trembling with fear and his skin is coated in a thick layer of sweat. Jim swallows back the saliva in his mouth and takes a few more moments to clear his foggy mind.
It was just a dream. It was just dream, nothing more.
Clenching his teeth, he glances over at the clock. It's 1:55 in the morning. He groans his complaint and swings his legs onto the cool floor. With a grunt he gets to his feet and makes his way to the bathroom, quickly casting Bones' room a glance to make sure his door is closed.
No need for the Doctor to worry.
Jim enters the bathroom, shaking feverishly. He throws off his clothes hurriedly and runs the hot water. He waits until the shower is emitting thick steam to enter its warmth. Hot water streams down his face and back, washing away the sweat but not stopping his body from trembling. He turns up the heat even more, until his body goes numb.
Closing his eyes, he breaths through his nose, something Bones told him to do if he ever started having a panic attack.
His stomach turns into knots. He quivers as his stomach contents go out his mouth and down the drain. He heaves a couple of more times before collapsing onto the floor of the shower, focusing on breathing. He closes his eyes, relaxing himself.
Jim's body is still shaking when there's rapping on the door. Startled, he glances at the doorway, but makes no effort to answer or get up.
"Jim, you okay?" Bones' voice calls out from outside the bathroom.
Jim just shrugs, and then realizes that Bones can't see him.
"Yeah, I'm fine." He replies hoarsely.
"What?" Bones shouts, still waiting outside the door.
Jim grumbles to himself and turns the shower off and gets up shakily. Panting slightly, he wraps a towel around his waist and opens the door. Bones freaks and shields his eyes, but then realizes Jim isn't revealing anything.
"Oh, okay. Thank god. Thought you were naked for a second there." Bones says aloud, and rubs his eyes because of the bright lights of the bathroom.
"What do you want Bones?" Jim questions, leaning against the doorway heavily.
Bones notices his weakness and eyeballs him. The Doctor's gathering information. Damn, Jim hated living in the same room with a Doctor, there are no secrets. The man could smell an STD on him from a mile away.
"Jim, it's three-thirty in the morning." Bones growls, crossing his arms and giving the kid a scowl.
"Is not, it was around two when I got in the shower." Jim replies defensively, his voice still sounding weak and raspy.
"Well its three-thirty now. You've been running that shower for almost ninety minutes kid." Bones informs him sharply and Jim blinks several times.
"Look kid, I ain't got time to play hokey pokey with you. Just hurry up, get yourself dressed and go to sleep kid." Bones replies and stalks off, wondering if he should do anything medical for Jim.
Jim lets a sigh go and turns to look at himself in the mirror. With his hand he wipes away the steam and stares into his own eyes. They're bright blue, reflecting the low lighting in the bathroom. He smiles lightly and bends down to wash his face with cold water. When he stands up straight again and looks into the mirror, he's startled by the man who meets his gaze.
With a gasp he presses himself up against the bathroom wall and slides down onto his rear, his face in his hands. Jim struggles to breathe, his breaths ragged. He takes several moments to gather his bearings. He isn't quite sure what he just saw there, but the face was familiar.
Cautiously, Jim climbs to his feet, looking back into the mirror only to find his own reflection. He sighs. Who knew finding your own face staring back can be such a relief?
Jim dresses himself quickly and turns the bathroom lights off before walking back to his own room. He pauses briefly outside Bones' door, longing to open it and crawl into bed with the Doctor. But he shakes his head, he can't do that, it wouldn't be right.
Mocking himself for being weak, he barges into his own room and shuts the door. Jim plops down onto his bed but his eyes don't close. No the kid just lays there, thinking about the face he saw in the mirror. He knew that face, that man.
It was his step father.
Frank, yes, it was Frank. He can forget that face.
The thought of the man's name sends shivers down his spine. The things Frank did to him, the scars, the pain, the memories, the daily reminders…
Jim gives a huff and throws his blanket over himself and squeezes his blue eyes shut, but instead of seeing darkness, all he can see is Frank staring back at him. The devilish eyes. The curved lips. He can remember everything, every single detail, detail that he wishes he didn't know.
His breathing quickens and his heart throbs.
Memories slowly leak back in, memories that he had locked away years ago. All the way from the rank of alcohol to the smack of wooden spoon.
A choked sob escapes. He curls in around himself, holding his knees close.
Jim tries to keep his eyes closed, but he can't, they remain peeled. He moans lightly and rises to his feet, only one destination in mind.
Jim strolls out his door and to Bones' room. He opens the door quietly, trying not to disturb the Doctor. Entering silently, Jim closes the door and seats himself against the wall, staring at the sleeping Doctor. He tucks his knees underneath his chin and watches Bones' chest rise and fall with each breath. It reassures him, he's not alone.
His heart aches, he longs to climb into bed with his best friend, he knows that Bones wouldn't mind, but Bones isn't the problem. It's his pride. Something deep down within him doesn't want to admit his fears, his anxieties, his past.
Jim sits there for quite some time, silent rebellious tears slipping down his cheeks. He's hid these things for so long he didn't think they would come back to haunt him. It was so many years ago, why now?
"Jim…? What are you doing here?" Bones voice rasps out, the dark figure sitting upright.
Jim just buries his head in between his knees, arms wrapped around tightly.
Bones sighs and climbs out of bed, sometimes, Jim Kirk is the strangest person and is hard to understand. But there is one thing Bones knows for certain about the kid, in moments like these, never leave Jim Kirk alone, bad things tend to happen.
The Doctor walks up beside Jim and pulls him to his feet. Jim casts his gaze down, not wanting to look Bones in the face.
"C'mon kid…" Bones trails off when he realizes Jim is sobbing.
He's never seen Jim flat out cry. It's strange to him.
Bones chews his lower lip, sometimes there's no need for words. Something Bones will soon understand more and more with Jim Kirk as a friend.
The Doctor ushers the kid into bed with him, using the pillows to help him sit upright comfortably. Bones sits beside him and wraps an arm around him. Jim remains frozen for quite some time before giving into the Doctor's affection.
Jim leans into Bones' hug, an arm sliding around the Doctor's frame and the other one around his stomach. The kid then places his head on Bones' chest, closing his eyes. Bones just smiles in relief and wraps his arms around Jim.
Bones remains completely still. He will always be there for Jim, no matter what the kid gets into. Bones has already failed a person in his life and that person is Joanna, and Bones isn't ready to fail another person. If he can't have his daughter to look after, then he's quite sure Jim will need him as a father figure and as a friend.
Jim has no one in his life, his father is dead, his mother abandoned him, his brother ditched him, his step father abused him, and Bones isn't going to let another person leave Jim's life. It isn't fair to the kid. So whatever happens, whatever physical or mental issue Jim has, he'll be there for him, because it completes the puzzle, Jim finally has someone that cares about him and Bones finally has someone to care about.
With each other, they're complete and Bones wouldn't want it any other way. So yes, he'll remain here until Jim is finished crying his heart out, yes he'll be there when Jim is staining his carpet with blood, yes he'll be there when Jim is puking his guts out all over him, yes he'll be there when Jim is having a nightmare because it's what friends do, and what are friends for if they don't do this for one another?
Bones just grins down at his friend who has fallen asleep with tears staining his cheeks. Bones just wishes next time, Jim won't hesitate.
