Everybody has a Ghost

By JuniperHeart

Summary - After dynamic shifts in the world's politics and set 5 years after the battle with Ultimecia, Squall reflects on his loves and losses and what he truly needs to live again. The challenge is in doing something about it.

Warnings - Contains homosexual relationships, sexual situations, angst, sappiness on occasion, and may contain swearing. Oh and no Rinoa-bashing.

Pairings - Squall/Rinoa (reminiscent), Squall/OC, Squall/Seifer

A/N - Thank you for your patience and support. Things have been crazy at work! Enjoy this much longer than usual chapter. The inspiration - Some Riot by Elbow.

Chapter Seven – Some Riot

A friend of mine grows his very own brambles

And they twist all around until he can't move

Beautiful quivering, chivalrous shambles

What is my friend trying to prove?

And it's breaking my heart, it's breaking my heart

It's breaking my heart to pour like the rain

Brother of mine, don't run with those fuckers

When will my friend start singing again?

After the incident he decided he would not like to retain memory of, Squall Leonhart decided to busy himself with the backlog of work he had accrued when away in Centra. There was still a lot to do regarding the acquisition of the student's GFs. He also had to obtain new ones for the new students, but decided to supplement that with the GFs that had belonged to students no longer with Garden. Once in his comfy office chair, he dialled Quistis' number and prepared himself for the inquisition.

However, Quistis' face was rather subdued when it flickered onto the screen in front of him. He had seen this look on Quistis' face before and recognised it to be the one she wore when she wanted to say something, but was scared of Squall's reaction. Normally the blonde was unrestrained in the sharing of information, if it was not of a sensitive nature.

"What is it?" Squall pinched the bridge of his nose, not sure that he wanted to know.

Quistis looked off to her right, in thought. She was probably trying to think of how to express what she needed to say in a more diplomatic way, Squall figured.

"Umm, first things first." She paused and exhaled loudly. "We've organised the first group of students to go over to Esthar and retrieve their old and new GFs. A summon point has been established for Quezacotl and Shiva so the younger students can obtain their first guardian forces. Those deemed capable will be obtaining recycled guardian forces. The first group will be leaving tomorrow…" Quistis trailed off, looking to her right again.

Squall eyed Quistis for a moment, trying to figure out exactly what was going on. "Spit it out."

"In two days we will need you in Esthar. Rinoa… is going to be released from cryostasis then. Odine believes he has reached the end of his work on the bangle." Quistis' features visibly flinched.

Air seemed to escape out of Squall's lungs faster than usual, but he didn't know what he was supposed to say or feel after hearing that. Recent events and his dark phase had turned everything he thought he was certain of on its head. He remembered how he felt about Rinoa, but he didn't feel anything in particular returning to him. He did, however, feel relieved that she was being released from her icy prison. Her time of sacrifice was over.

"So…? Are you going to come over on Sunday?" Quistis asked quietly.

"Yes," Squall said without a thought. "Are the others coming?" He was of course referring to Zell, Selphie and Irvine.

Quistis nodded and smiled softly. "It's going to be interesting for her, coming back to everything. A lot has changed, and a lot hasn't."

Squall considered her statement for a little while. Her adjustment was going to be difficult, also considering he and the others had aged physically, yet she hadn't. He was worried that their 'ages' would now be too disparate for any chance of a full reunion. But knowing Rinoa, she would at first be in a state of confusion, but it wouldn't take long for her to find her bearings. She had always been grounded like that.

"I think she will be fine. Her independent streak is rather strong." Squall was feeling rather nostalgic, much to his surprise.

Quistis smirked. "She was rather dependant on you."

"That's different." Squall looked away, almost embarrassed, but with a twitch of a smile on his lips. It would be good to see her again.

"Well anyway," Quistis decided to change the subject, "I'll be watching Seifer's progress in the meantime…"

Before he could hide it, Squall's face flushed and he tried to quash the uncomfortable feelings (including guilt) that he knew were all on display. But it was too late. Quistis had keenly picked up on it, finding great curiosity in whatever could cause those expressions. Squall had always been able to hide whatever he was feeling so well, but here he was with his heart on his sleeve.

"What happened?" Quistis asked, undoubtedly curious, and leant back in her chair.

Squall ran a hand through his hair and coughed, uncomfortable under Trepe's glare. "I… ah, we duelled for a bit, that's all."

As if struck by more nostalgia, Quistis sighed much in the way she had when she first saw Squall in the infirmary after he had obtained his scar. She did not, however, seem very surprised that it had happened already though.

"So? Give me details."

Exhaling, Squall decided to share everything. She would probably acquire skewed information from Seifer anyway. "Some of the students got into trouble in the training centre, Seifer helped them out, I got pissed because he was acting like a cocky bastard again, he goaded me into a duel, I was successfully goaded and we fought. That's it."

Quistis seemed unimpressed, like she knew that wasn't all there was to it. "And?"

"That's it." Tiring of her questioning, Squall really wanted to end this conversation. "And that's all I'm going to say about it. He's alive, I'm alive. We got that out of the way."

Unconvinced, Quistis waited for more, but gave up eventually. "Fine, but I will find out, Squall Leonhart. I will see you Sunday."

And her face disappeared from the screen.

He knew she knew. Perception was her forte and she definitely didn't miss this one. Sighing and swinging around in his chair, Squall rubbed his throbbing temples and relaxed. He was aware of the embers still glowing inside him, threatening to spark given fuel, but this feeling was rather new to him. He didn't remember what he was like before Ellone left him and from that point he had done whatever he could to shield himself from feeling. Rinoa was special, as she was able to break that fortification down and pull him out of his safe confines. He had become more trusting, open to share with others and more understanding of himself. However, with no one with her ability around to continue encouraging these changes it was no wonder he withdrew once again. Without someone with that ability, what was the point? This smouldering fire, however, scared him. Rinoa had not made him feel that way, ever. He loved her, cherished her and appreciated her. But this? Entirely new. Seifer had a different ability to Rinoa, he knew. He could normally control his actions and reactions, but around Seifer his control was shot to death. Maybe at some point he would understand why, but it made him feel very uncomfortable, so he would still keep his distance from the blonde. He liked having control over himself very much, otherwise things like what happened this afternoon would happen again.

What was that about, anyway?

He had read that adrenaline could have that effect on people, so he deduced that it was the fight that did it. And he was messed up. That too.

After releasing an internal growl over his thoughts, he hurriedly removed the unwanted thoughts from his mind and got back to work.


In the training centre, a meet up between Seifer and his new students had been arranged. Xu had felt it would be beneficial for those who would be receiving their GFs to meet their new tutor so he could advise them what to do with their new powers. The students were milling around in the main open area when Seifer arrived, behaving like typical teenagers and young adults. His students did not only consist of the usual students, but the non-deployed SeeD members also. Eyeing up the group, already segregated into their year levels and class, he was a little worried. They were only young, and if a war came to be, he was not sure how strong they would be. He noticed the occasional built up student that eased his mind somewhat, but he could tell many of them did not do well with combat training. He would aim to make them good all-rounders, but some might be destined to be the dedicated mage/healers.

"All right, listen up you lot!" Seifer's deep, resonating voice boomed through the training centre and the students, startled, stood to attention.

Upon seeing whom the voice belonged to, the majority balked, eyeing their friends worriedly. The others were obviously unimpressed.

Seifer grinned widely and stood strong and proud. They would be impressed soon enough. "I'm sure most of you know of me, but for those of you who don't, I will introduce myself. My name is Seifer Al-"

"Fucking traitor!" rang out from the students, most of whom looking directly at the source.

The blonde chuckled, noting it was one of the unimpressed students. "Come here."

The staunch male SeeD member raised an eyebrow. "I don't take orders from a sorceress' bitch."

Apparently this person thought he knew about what happened back then.

"Suit yourself. I will come to you." Seifer paced towards the students, the group parting like the red sea.

Seifer picked the student up by the collar effortlessly and sneered. "You will take orders from me because I am your teacher and you are a SeeD." He looked around at the students, still holding up the struggling SeeD. "Can anyone here tell me the members of the party that successfully defeated Ultimecia five years ago?"

One of the weaker looking students quipped nervously, "Squall Leonhart… Quistis Trepe… Zell Dincht… Rinoa Heartilly…"

"Rinoa Heartilly. A sorceress who is voluntarily in cryostasis to protect the world from her power." He turned back to the SeeD in his grip. "So I guess what I'm saying is that I don't really give a fuck what you think of me, but you never ever insult those who saved your life, unless you want to lose it. Got it?"

By this point the young man in his grip was shaking like a leaf. He nodded; eager to be released from Seifer's strong grip.

The blonde dropped him on the ground like a discarded toy and strode back to his original spot. "I suppose I should warn you – I will not take any shit from you. If you refuse to treat me with respect, you will not learn and you will be killed. You should feel lucky I am your teacher, because you learn more from your foes than your friends. Plus, I am very skilled in both magic and GF use; abilities you do not have yet. Do I make myself clear?"

Enjoying the nods and quiet 'yes, sir's from the group after his warning, Seifer continued.

"Boy. What is your name?" Seifer asked, referring to the student that had supplied the names of Squall and co.

The student bristled, obviously not enjoying being put on the spot. "Uhhh, Troy, sir."

Seifer nodded, adding him to the mental list of the students he thought had potential in some way or another.

"Tomorrow, half of you will be travelling to Esthar to receive your GFs. The other half will go on Sunday. The juniors will be supplied with two low level GFs and the seniors will be able to retrieve the GFs they already had. You will have already been briefed on who will be leaving on which day and you will be advised in Esthar on the rules of use for your GFs. Classes will begin on Monday. I will first examine you on your ability so undertake the necessary training by then."

Noticing that a group of girls had lapsed into hushed conversation, Seifer knew he had to give a final warning.

"Quiet!" he yelled, alerting not just the girls, but all of the students. "I have one last thing to say. I will not go easy on you. Mr Dincht is a soft touch, but I most definitely am not. You will be absolutely depleted, bruised and battled after your training sessions with me, because you know what? War will push you even farther than I ever will. I will not only examine your physical prowess for this reason. Fighting requires more than just physical strength alone. It requires finesse, stamina, will power and mental strength. Those who are well-rounded will excel. Think about this before the training session on Monday. Dismissed."

The students scattered in their groups, all chattering away excitedly, with the exception of the undisciplined brat Seifer had ridiculed. He was still looking rather ashamed and didn't seem to be included in his exclusive group anymore. Seifer strode off behind the students in a bid to find Quistis and Xu in order to make a report and to start organising his teaching schedule. It was nearing dinner time now, the coral sky outside setting a pinkish colour across the white walls and floors of Garden.

Seifer's life in exile had been particularly boring, and he was admittedly excited to exercise his innate sense of authority. Maybe it had always been his calling and all he needed to do it well was to become humbled, which he certainly did. These students were in need of someone like him anyway, because the real world wasn't that pretty when egos and power-struggles got involved and reached fever pitch. He really was indebted to Quistis' and Matron's perception. Exactly when Seifer had gotten over himself and had changed for the better they let him back into their lives and trusted him. It wasn't something he felt he deserved, anyhow, so he knew he had to redeem himself in a big way. They also brought his and Squall's worlds together. Something he knew he would never have been able to do on his own. Quistis and Xu had ultimately become the most amazing catalysts for that reaction. And what a reaction.

Groaning at the rising surge of desire that he had previously tried to calm, Seifer continued down the way to the cafeteria, his stomach groaning with him. It had been a long day and he'd barely eaten anything. It was going to be interesting eating with the other students, he mused with utmost delight.


Seifer found his dinner to be particularly fulfilling; it consisted of the hot dogs he had secretly missed and numerous stares in his direction. The other teachers, including Dincht, were reluctant to sit with him, and he didn't blame them. They remembered in great detail what he did and didn't know the full story of why he was here now, so he understood their disdain. He held resentment for Dincht no longer, but he couldn't promise he would refrain from mocking the crap out of him, given the opportunity. He still seemed to be a little wound up, but was noticeably more relaxed in his older age. He had to get through puberty at some point, Seifer reckoned.

Full from his meal, Seifer wandered the halls, finding peace in the sound of the fountains and running water alongside the path. It was good to be back, but he still felt a little restless.

Squall Leonhart, in contrast, was hastily making his way to the training centre with a bottle of whisky hidden in jacket. Unable to turn off the maddening thoughts, he knew that alcohol was the only thing that could bring him peace of mind. Nobody would be in the secret area at this early hour, and he knew no one would enter it if he were in there. Nowhere else felt as calming as the secret area. Maybe the pulsing lights and the view had something to do with it.

Looking behind him for followers or witnesses, the brunette entered the training area and then the secret area. It was deserted, to his delight. He could hear students in the distance, towards garden, being rowdy as per usual. Squall uncapped his single malt and immediately knocked a mouthful back, instantaneously feeling the liquor burn down his throat and warming his stomach. He had forgotten to eat again it, but not to worry; it would make the task of drinking thought away much easier.

Less than two days and Rinoa would be released from her confines. Would she expect them to pick up where they left off? It had been hard, especially for Squall, to let her go. He had all these 'things' about himself that had nowhere else to go, and now they were probably gone. He knew he couldn't go back to the way they were without seeing her conscious for the first time. He knew he was scared about how he would feel, be it too much or too little. It was no secret to himself that he hadn't felt particularly attracted to her, but in his naivety he thought that affection was enough. Squall swallowed some more whiskey and felt his lips tingle. Tipsiness would soon be upon him.

In the shadow by the secret area's entry, Seifer watched. It was a rather pitiful sight to behold, had he been a complete stranger, but Quistis had hinted at the situation with Squall earlier. He was messed up, sure, but he definitely not the only one. All of the people who fought in the sorceress' war, good side or bad, had suffered. Some still did; case in point - Squall and himself. Something inside Seifer was urging him to unveil himself and talk to Squall, but something was definitely holding him back. Squall drank again, his bottle showing two thirds full. This time Seifer had a reason to intervene, but before he could do so, Squall spoke into his surroundings.

"I bet you like to think you're stealthy, but you're really just a lumbering idiot."

Seifer chuckled and walked out into the dim light and leant against the railing next to Squall.

One look over to him and Squall sighed in annoyance. "I should have fucking known. Don't you have anything better to do than to bother me?"

Seifer eyed Squall, his alabaster skin glowing with the light from the central building. By the way his eyes were tracking, he knew the booze was starting to take hold. Seifer yanked the bottle from Squall's surprisingly strong grip and downed some of the whiskey, much to the protest of Squall.

"I need a drink too. What a day." Seifer muttered, thinking back to the events that had taken place.

Squall groaned, memories flooding his head of what they had done. What he had done.

Launching off the railing, he spun around to walk out. "You can keep the whiskey."

Curious, Seifer grabbed Squall's arm and pulled him back. The brunette staggered back, his footing clearly affected by his alcohol consumption.

"We have a bunch of weaklings here, Squall." Seifer held Squall in place until he stayed put. "It's going to take a lot of work to bring them up to speed."

Squall raised his eyebrow so his prominent scar creased and put his hand on his hip. "I'm sure you can manage, oh magnanimous one."

"Now, now. No need to get testy with me. Are you even capable of a normal conversation?" Seifer grinned and savoured the taste of Squall's drink of choice. They had more in common than he realised.

Squall knew he wasn't going anywhere, so he leant on the railing and rested his head on his arms. "You know I don't care for talking."

Squall realised this was rather similar to the occasion with Quistis back in the day. He laughed at the irony. Everyone was trying to get him to open up.

"What's so funny?" Seifer asked, not expecting an answer, but asking all the same to keep the conversation flowing. He knew he couldn't mess up an opportunity such as this and another wouldn't come along any time soon.

"You and Quistis and Xu and Matron. All of you are trying to get me to talk." Squall's slurred speech was becoming more noticeable.

Seifer smirked, admiring the way Squall's full lips were parted slightly. "Maybe you should then. It's not just a second opinion, but a fourth opinion. It could do you some good."

"What the fuck would you know? Mr… Mr… 'fuck me, I'm too amazing to be good so I'll just go betray everyone and become a lap dog!'" Squall seethed, but was at least facing Seifer, so that was something. It was also proof of the brunette's inebriation.

"Feel any better?"

"Not really." Squall muttered, staring Seifer down in the most intense and enticing way.

Seifer faced Squall so they were looking directly at each other. "Would it help if you punched me?"

Squall snorted with a mischievous look in his eyes and yanked the whiskey back, taking a swig. "I already kicked your ass enough today."

"So, I hear Rinoa's being released on Sunday." Seifer mentioned, not sure if it was comfortable ground yet. Squall's facial expression did not change, so he assumed he was okay.

"Yeah." Squall stumbled and faced the central building again, leaning sloppily on the railing. "Are you coming?"

"Don't know." The blonde said honestly. He didn't know how well he would be received, and not just by Rinoa. "Don't think people would want me there."

Squall drank some more, before the bottle was removed from his hand by Seifer. "I think she would want you there."

Seifer chuckled in surprise. He wasn't expecting that. "Why do you say that?"

"She always liked you, and always maintained your innocence. She and I used to argue all the time about it." Squall smirked and swivelled his head to look at Seifer. His eyes had softened in a way that Seifer had never seen before. It was rather… enchanting.

He should have seen it coming though. Of course Squall would still love her. They had been inseparable, or so he had heard. It still bothered him, though. While he had really liked Rinoa when they had been together, he had never felt that attracted to girls. Now he knew why. It was like a big fucked up love triangle. Laughing internally, Seifer knew that he was also feeling the effect of the alcohol.

"So do you think you'll get back together?" Seifer felt he could speak candidly with Squall now, regarding the state he was in.

Squall shrugged with a far-away look in his eyes. "I don't know. I don't think she would like me as I am now, anyway."

"That's ridiculous. You know Rinoa. She fell for you when you were a fucking ice princess." Seifer smirked as the brunette's eyes flared.

"Also…" Squall trailed off. "Mmmmm, never mind."

Intrigued, the blonde urged Squall on. "Go on, tell me."

"It's just I… I don't think I want to get back with her." Squall quipped, looking for his bottle of whiskey, which Seifer had hidden behind his back. After giving up, he continued. "I like her, love her maybe, but it doesn't seem right."

It was like Seifer's Christmases had all come at once. He knew it hadn't been just him feeling what he did. Squall was incredibly naïve, so maybe he hadn't figured it out yet?

"Why… am I even telling you this?" Squall, drunkenly flailing, tried to make his way out of the secret area, but didn't succeed in walking.

Upon his fall, Seifer caught his arm to help him stay steady. "I think it's time you went back to your room. You're pretty wasted."

"Mmm, probably." Squall was hilariously trying to maintain his composure, but was failing miserably.

Seifer thought it was pretty damned cute.

"Right, where do you sleep?" Seifer lifted Squall so that Squall's arm was over his shoulder and Seifer's arm was around his waist.

Feeling the warmth emanating from Squall, Seifer tried to push his betraying thoughts out of his head and focus on the task at hand.

Squall leant into his support though, making that task rather difficult. "The staff quarters… off the dormitory corridor."

And so they stumbled their way down the halls, Seifer trying his best for them not to be seen by students, and succeeding. Squall was doing well with his walking, but every now and then he would stumble and fall off balance, Seifer having to pull him back up again. Eventually they made it to Squall's quarters, to which Squall scanned through with his fingerprint.

Seifer was surprised at how spacious Squall's rooms were, but they were decidedly Spartan; just like Squall would like them to be. His own were not so big, but he would at least breathe some personality into them over time. Squall directed them into his bedroom and Seifer gently guided Squall onto the bed.

"Mmmm." Squall groaned and leant up to Seifer's neck.

Shocked, Seifer recoiled back. "Mmmm?!"

"You smell nice." Squall murmured as his eyes fluttered closed.

Oh dear god, he was really far gone in order to say that. Seifer stood over Squall, aghast, not sure whether to flee or stay a bit longer just to watch Squall in such a vulnerable, delicious state. He could not try to take advantage of it, and he wouldn't. But the thought was driving him crazy.

"Squall." Seifer said as he sat down next to Squall on the bed.

Squall moved his head slightly and moaned a little in response.

"Can I kiss you?"

Oh what the hell. Seifer was drunk but he wasn't that drunk. Why the hell had he even thought that would be well received or even acknowledged.

Squall nodded softly, his eyes millimetres apart.

The devil could punish him later, but he absolutely could not stop here. Placing his arms aside of Squall's lithe body, he lowered his face down and brushed his lips ever so slightly against Squall's, feeling the softness and warmth and tasting the alcohol on his breath. Squall then groaned unexpectedly against Seifer's lips and pressed firmly against them, his breathing deeper.

Hyne. What was happening? Seifer could not comprehend it, but before he knew it he was kissing Squall with a hunger that had stayed repressed for too long, and the most amazing thing was that Squall seemed to be, if not equally, more hungry. Squall's smell, taste and feel was far more intoxicating than what they had just consumed and he knew that if he didn't stop now that he would definitely be taking advantage of Squall, much more so than he was now. After delving into what he knew would be their last kiss, Seifer regrettably pulled away.

As though missing the contact, Squall frowned but quickly eased into sleep. Seifer knew somehow that Squall would not remember this tomorrow, and in a way he hoped that he wouldn't. It would make for awkward looks and Squall might never be this open towards him ever again.

What a predicament. At least he had had this moment and he would never forget it.