A/N: I can only apologise. I started University, and I severely underestimated how busy I would be, and I have had to struggle with my mental health. I have sat down to write this chapter many times, but none of the writing was my best, and I didn't feel ready to share with the world. After what is a 2-year hiatus, a new chapter is here. I'm much more settled now, and I will try to do a chapter every week/ every other week.
Enjoy as always
Friday 2nd December 2011
AmeliaPOV
What a Hellish week it has been.
We had barely touched down in DC from our wonderful weekend in Vegas when we got a phone call from Hotch, telling us to come in immediately; there had been a series of child abductions in Vermont, and time was of the essence.
No sooner had we got off the plane that we were driving to the airstrip to make the jet.
We were the last people to reach the jet, "Sorry guys, we came as quickly as we could, but our bags were the last to come through and there was traffic." I said as we both settled down next to each other, reaching for copies of the files in front of us.
Many people often wondered how Spencer and I put up with each other. I mean, we are literally in each other's company twenty four hours a day, seven days a week, and that can be hard for a couple, especially when we argue.
It was strange, maybe it helped that we were colleagues first, but it was like a switch was flipped; when we were together alone, or with the team when the pressure was off, when lives weren't at stake, then we could be slightly more intimate (not that we were big participants in PDA anyway) but when it was crunch time; when lives were at stake and we were needed to profile, we were colleagues, nothing more, nothing less.
"Right, let's begin." Hotch said, Garcia's face appearing on the screen as the jet began to take off.
…..
The rest of the week was false lead after false lead, and with every lead that drew a blank, another child would be taken, and another body would turn up.
Now I usually can handle this part of the job; I was trained in pathology after all, but there was something disturbing about the bodies that turned up. They had been drowned, and were otherwise healthy, but that wasn't it. It was like something inside of me had changed, who knows? Maybe it was to do with my relationship with Spence; we had been talking of the future a lot lately.
We eventually caught the unsub, but not until five children had died, and another seven would be permanently changed by what they had gone through.
We were on the jet coming home, but this didn't feel like a success; this felt like we had let people down, and if there was one thing I hated doing in my life it was letting people down.
Even the others, who were seasoned veterans with bad cases and terrible outcomes were struggling with this one.
"Amelia"
"Hmm?" I said, looking up from my book and retreating from my thoughts once more. I looked over to the source, JJ.
"Sorry JJ, I was in my own wee world there."
"Its fine, I was wondering if you and Spencer are still okay to look after Henry overnight tomorrow. I know this case has been hard."
"Oh of course JJ, don't worry about it. I'm really looking forward to it, especially after this week. Is Henry?"
JJ laughed, "Oh yeah, he can't wait to sleep in a double bed and eat junk food and play in the park."
I smiled, "Well neither can I. This week, I feel like I've barely ate or slept, so it'll be nice to pig out on junk food."
It was then that the plane landed, and the seven of us trudged out of the plane towards our respective cars. Spencer and I climbed into my red mini and began the drive back to our apartment in silence.
It was times like these that I sort of appreciated Spencer's ability to be a comfort even in silence. We could be together and words would not need to be said, we just seemed to click together in a way that complimented the both of us.
We reached our little apartment, dropping the keys on the counter with a resounding clink. "Do you want anything to eat? I could cook, or we could order in?" I asked him, my voice cracking from lack of use.
He nodded, "Ordering in sounds fine. Are you sure that you're okay Amelia? This last case hit you pretty hard." He said, taking a step closer towards me.
I turned to face him, sighing, "I don't know what got in to me. The cases with children are always hard, and they never truly get easier, but I just feel like I failed those parents. They would look at us with so much hope, that we would get their children back alive. I heard their cries as JJ told them we were unsuccessful. It just made me realise that we can't save everyone that's all."
Spencer pulled me into a hug, squeezing me as tight as he could, "I know, and to think of all the things that we have been talking about in Vegas – our childhoods, maybe one day having a family. It was tough to go from that to this.
We moved to the sofa, "I went to Gideon when this first happened to me. I went to his office listless, not knowing how to say what I wanted to say. He took one look at me and knew what was wrong. He sat me down and he said to me – 'do you know who all these people are?'
It occurred to me that I didn't actually know who any of the people were in the photo frames he had around his office. I had been in there so many times, yet my eyes had never truly taken in any of the faces. So when I told him I didn't, he smiled and told me that they were all people that he had saved. The point is Amy, we can't save everyone, and we all have cases that touch us emotionally, but the only way to get through it is to remember all the people we do save."
I moved to kiss his cheek before resting my head on his shoulder, "How do you always know how to make me feel better?" I said, snuggling closer to him.
He chuckled, "Call it my sixth sense."
