That night when the party was over I don't think I've ever had that much attention in, well, forever. The entire squad must have hugged me fifteen times each, and once we got home Nick and Amanda hugged me at least thirty times each. But it was nice when we got home. We all sat on the couch and watched a scary movie, but when it ended, it wasn't so nice.
"Annie, we need to talk." Amanda said.
I internally groaned, "Okay."
"Listen, I know how hard it is to talk about sexual assault honey. But I need you to tell me who raped you." Amanda said softly.
"I wasn't raped." I said harshly.
"Are you sure about that, Mija? You were in hysterics last night." Nick said, placing his hand on my leg.
I shrugged it off, wincing in pain from the bruising on my legs. "I would know if someone forced me to have sex with them!"
"Okay, okay. We just need to ask." Amanda sighed.
"No. It's not okay! I said no, and you kept going." I yelled, jumping to my feet. "It's not fair. Why is everyone all of a sudden caring about me when they couldn't before!?"
"What are you talking about, Annie?" Amanda stood up and looked me straight in the eye. "I cared about you when Nick left just as much as I did when he was here."
I scoffed, "You don't know anything. You don't know what goes on at school, because no one understands. It's worst. So much worst."
"Sweetie tell me what happened."
"Okay. Fine. I was raped! Are you happy now." I screamed, and ran into my bedroom, slamming the door behind me.
No one came to get me from my room, so I took this as an opportunity to take out my blades. I went into my bathroom and locked the door, staring at the blue box in the open linen box I blinked back tears. I reached up to the box and pulled it down.
Taking out a blade, I cut the deepest I ever had. Blood went everywhere, I was bleeding so much. "M-Mandy!" I screamed.
"Nick!" I cried.
I could hear them storm into my bedroom, "I'm in here!" I sobbed.
"Mija unlock the door." Nick yelled.
"I can't. I can't move my hands. It hurts too much." I cried out in pain.
"Back away from the door, I'm gonna break it down." He yelled to me.
Scooting backwards up against the tub, I rested my head against the wall. Next thing I knew, the door was torn off the hinges and Amanda and Nick were both at my side.
Nick grabbed a cloth while Amanda held my head in her lap. "It's okay, sweetie. It's okay. We're gonna call an ambulance."
"I...I don't wanna die mommy." I mumbled softly, and that's the last thing I remember before everything went black.
Slowly, I came to. But I couldn't open my eyes. The lights were just too bright.
"She's sustained many vaginal tears and lesions. She has a lot of bruising up and down her inner thighs and abdomen. We believe she was raped several times. Not just once." I heard some woman say.
"My baby." I heard Amanda sob. "When will she wake up?"
"She should be awake any second now." The woman's voice sounded again. "I'll go ahead and give you both some time with her."
I heard heals click against the floor, and a door shut.
Once the woman left, who I assumed must have been a doctor, my eyes peeled open. "Mandy?"
"Oh, Annie. I'm here." She caressed my hair. "Are you feeling okay?"
I shook my head. "My wrists hurt."
"I know baby, I know." She kissed my forehead. "I'll never let you die on me. Ever. Please don't do this again."
Tears streamed down my face. "I don't think I can promise that."
Nick and Amanda both shared a glance between each other. Neither said a word, there was nothing to say.
"Annie, I think the squad wants to come see you. Are you up for that?" Nick asked gently.
I nodded. "Yeah. Can they not all come in though? Maybe just a few at a time."
"Of course, baby." Amanda and Nick left the room, and soon enough Carisi entered the room.
"Hey, Annie." He smiled and came to my bed side.
"Hi." I smiled back. "You can sit down if you want."
He sat down on the edge of my bed and grabbed my hand. "Are you okay?"
"I think you know the answer to that." I mumbled.
He pursed his lips and inhaled heavily. "We don't have to talk about it. How about a lighter topic?"
If anyone was going to let this slide this easily, it was gonna be Sonny.
"How did the baby shower with your sister go?" I asked.
"Good. Really good, I hate her boyfriend but I must say I do love baby clothes." He chuckled.
I laughed too. "Baby clothes are very cute."
Then, another head popped into the room. Liv. "Sonny, I'm kicking you out now."
Carisi knelt over and kissed my head. "Feel better, Annie."
Once he left, Liv stepped in and sat on my bed. "I'm not gonna ask you how you're feeling because something tells me I already know."
I smiled at her. "Yeah. I think you do."
She patted my leg. "But I do need to ask you, if you'd be willing to see a therapist. I know it's soon. I know, but your sister thinks it's a good idea."
My eyes reverted down to my fumbling thumbs. "I don't want to see a shrink, Liv."
"Why not?" She asked.
"I'm not crazy." My eyes snapped up to her. "I'm not crazy, Liv."
"Okay, okay. We don't have to do this now. Do you want me to send in Fin?"
"Please." I sighed.
After Fin left, I was so utterly exhausted. So when Amanda came and and slid in bed next to me, I curled up next to her and fell asleep.
Hey everyone who may be reading! I hope you like the fanfic so far. Don't worry, it will get more interesting and you'll see more Amanda and Annie time, and some more time with the rest of the squad.
User Response: Thank you, Grace Anne Benson! I certainly hope it will be. :)
