Everybody has a Ghost
By JuniperHeart
Summary - After dynamic shifts in the world's politics and set 5 years after the battle with Ultimecia, Squall reflects on his loves and losses and what he truly needs to live again. The challenge is in doing something about it.
Warnings - Contains homosexual relationships, sexual situations, angst, sappiness on occasion, and may contain swearing. Oh and no Rinoa-bashing.
Pairings - Squall/Rinoa (reminiscent), Squall/Seifer
A/N: So my life has been pretty busy, so I am sorry about the delay, but I think this chapter is reward enough for your patience! Pretty sure the song gives it away, but heck, enjoy!
Chapter Ten – Tessellate
Bite chunks out of me; you're a shark and I'm swimming
My heart still thumps as I bleed and all your friends come sniffing
Triangles are my favourite shape; three points where two lines meet
Toe to toe, back to back, let's go, my love, it's very late
'Til morning comes, let's tessellate
Alt-J – Tessellate
Quistis was full of great ideas and plans, but occasionally she was prone to conceive bad ones. After bringing Rinoa back to Odine's lab and leaving her to rest, the group were somewhat obliged to stick around in Esthar city until she was stable enough to return to Balamb. They had anaesthetised her until they believed she would be okay to awaken naturally. Cell regeneration and gene tweaking was also required, and it could take many hours for that feat to be accomplished. So Quistis thought it would be a fantastic idea to plan a dinner for the group to become reacquainted. She didn't seem to want to allow reconciliations to happen in their own time, and instead was trying to push it. Seifer knew that those opposed to him weren't going to be his best friends after just one dinner, but he didn't really have a choice in the matter. It was either play ball or go home. In the end though, he didn't really mind either way. The hasty, steamy looks going to and from himself and Squall were enough to drown out any other issues at hand. Irvine and Zell be damned. As long as he held some of Squall's attention, he didn't need anyone else.
Realising his thoughts mirrored those of someone insanely in love, and feeling overwhelmed by them regardless, Seifer adhered himself to Quistis' side as they walked down the road to the restaurant. Noticing his proximity, she pulled him to the back of the group.
"Don't fucking hurt him," Quistis muttered under her breath, "because if you do, you know I will use my whip to hurt you. Just when I started to trust you... If you betray my trust, you will know."
Holding her close, like a little sister, Seifer ruffled her fair, silken hair. "If I do hurt him, it wouldn't be intentional. Or he could like that sort of thing… does that count?"
Wide eyes snapped up to Seifer's in disbelief. "You're a menace."
"I know." Seifer beamed with a sense of pride. Five years ago he would have seriously taken that as a major compliment, and he still did to an extent. "In all seriousness, I cannot promise you that I won't hurt him, but I will definitely try my best. I'm not perfect, in case you don't remember."
Quistis smiled wistfully. "I guess I'm just afraid for him. He's been so fragile these past few years."
"Who knows, I may actually be good for him, and he may be stronger than he appears already." Seifer remarked.
A gleam shimmered through Quistis' blue eyes as she nodded in agreement. "I really hope so."
Stormy, ice blue eyes shot back, Squall quirking his head in curiosity. Seifer smiled and waved, striding up to walk alongside the ice prince. Irvine on his other side was none too pleased, and seemed rather shocked that Squall was allowing it to happen. Oh, if only he knew the itty gritty details, it would make his skin crawl. Irvine's notion of self-restraint didn't go unnoticed by Seifer, but the mischievous part of his personality was itching to push that self-restraint to its limits. Perhaps he too still needed a lesson on self-restraint.
"Nothing to worry your pretty head over." Seifer commented, grinning down at Squall, noticing Irvine's features warp into astonishment.
Squall shivered, lowering his head. "Seifer…" he seethed, under his breath.
Hearing this only served to amplify Irvine's reaction, but Seifer refrained from taking it further. He had an inkling that Squall didn't want their recent allied status to become known to everyone, and he was still coming to terms with it himself.
The restaurant was one of those swanky fusion types; appearing to be a cross between Estharian and Centran cuisine. Seifer would never have let himself be caught dead in a place like this before now, but he supposed he would endure for the sake of 'unification'. They were promptly seated around a large, long table, Quistis and Laguna in the centre, Squall and Seifer at one end, and Irvine, Zell and Selphie at the other. So this was how they were intending to mediate. Seifer could tell by the discomfort on Squall's face that he wasn't too happy being seated by his father, but Seifer also wasn't comfortable being seated at the head, facing Irvine of all people. He smiled, despite the situation, receiving a similar look of challenge from the cowboy. Silence shrouded the table while they ordered drinks and entrees, nobody intending to start a conversation that could become inflammatory.
What a bunch of cowards, Seifer thought to himself. Bridges weren't built in silence; they were built with angry arguments and with everything rising to the surface.
"So," Seifer cleared his throat, "Selphie, what have you been up to these last five years?"
Selphie, a sucker for kindness, had already appeared to have forgiven him, so she brightened, replying with a smile. "Well, Irvine and I have three kids now, who annoy us to no end, but we're happy."
"I picked you two to be breeders." Seifer chuckled, knowing that Selphie had picked up on the humour. "That's good to hear."
Uncomfortable silence blanketed the table once more, until Quistis piped up.
"For those of you who don't know yet, Seifer has been appointed as Balamb Garden's new magic and guardian force tutor."
Zell, who was usually talkative, kept his mouth shut, but Seifer could tell that there was a collection of complaints he wanted to make.
"Are you sure that's wise, Quistis?" Irvine commented, knocking back his whiskey. "I mean, how long as he been out of exile?"
A chuckle rose from Seifer's throat at the expected comment. "As you know, Irvine, Quistis is an excellent judge of character. I don't need you or Zell to trust me. As long as Quisty and Xu do, I won't let them down."
"I'm sure he will do right by Garden, honey…" Selphie reassured her husband by placing her hand on his arm.
"I can't believe this." Zell moaned, scowling. "Do you even remember the horrific things he did? The way he could bend someone's will just by speaking to them? How do you know that's not what he's doing now? How do you know this isn't all part of his plan? How do you know he's not working for Galbadia, his old ally?"
Seifer sighed, rolling his eyes. "Listen, chicken-wuss, I was possessed. Sure, I got myself into that mess in the first place, but I never intended for it to go that far. You can believe that I did it all of my own volition all you want, but I've given my word to Quistis that she can trust me, and it really is up to her and Xu, not you or the cowboy."
"You're fucking playing the lot of them, including Squall. I don't know what spell you've put him under but…"
Seifer felt his restraints snapping. "I would watch it if I were you. This is my final warning."
The air around seemed to thicken immediately.
Zell opened his mouth to speak, as though he couldn't keep it locked in. "You know the state he's in and yet you're trying to sink your teeth into him like a vampire. You're a vulture, preying on the lot of us."
Launching himself up from his chair, Seifer could feel his limbs moving of their own accord. He had always been driven by anger, and this occasion was no different.
"Seifer! Stop." Quistis commanded, but it fell upon deaf ears.
Squall huffed and yanked Seifer backwards by the back of his shirt. "Stop it. He's just egging you on."
Seifer fumed, his fists clenched so tightly his nails were biting into his palms. He knew it wouldn't take long for this to happen. "Consider yourself well and truly warned. Go fuck yourself and your fucking ignorance!"
And with that, Seifer stormed out of the restaurant.
"Zell," Squall spoke up, watching Seifer leave, "I am not fragile. I am not made of glass. I am your commander. You do not need to protect me from him, and you never have." Squall placed his napkin on the table and arose. "This is my problem to deal with; not yours."
Those at the table looked on as the brunette promptly followed Seifer outside.
"So, when did it happen, Quistis?" Laguna took a sip of his beverage and lounged back in his chair.
Quistis smiled, regarding Laguna with surprise at his intuition. "Quite recently, but it had always been there."
The others at the table watched the interaction with confusion.
"Whatever." Zell spat. "Are you just going to let him get completely taken over by that demon by letting him go?"
Quistis continued to smile, unfurling the coming events in her head. "Absolutely. However, it is quite mutual, and as Squall said, it's none of our business. It never has been. I once tried to get involved in it, long ago, but it was all for naught. Unfortunately the world got in the way."
"What the hell are you talking about?" Irvine's forehead creased.
"It will all become clear soon, I'm sure."
"Seifer, just wait." Squall called from behind Seifer.
Some of the stunned onlookers dodged out of the way of Seifer's stampede, but others were brutally shoved out of the way. Squall knew that Seifer's temper had a limit. There was a point at which he couldn't keep it from boiling over, and once it did, it ran rampant. Familiar with this kind of rage, Squall knew that he had to do something to end the rampage. Squall swiftly caught up to him, hooked into his arm and dragged him into a quiet side-street. Seeing the mania brewing in his eyes, Squall should have seen it coming, but his reaction timing had been off as of late. Maybe he didn't expect it due to recent events. Nevertheless, Seifer sent him staggering onto the road with an uppercut.
"Just fucking cool it, you moron!" Squall seethed and ran back into the fray, sending a fist flying into Seifer's stomach.
Seeming sufficiently winded and dazed, Squall set Seifer in place by restraining his wrists against the wall of a bookstore. "Are you done?!"
"Yep," Seifer gasped. "You still have it. I'm… surprised."
Lips parted and sucking in rasping breaths, Seifer sent chills through Squall's entire being. He had never, ever had someone hold him as captivated as this. He had initially worried that he was being devoured, but this had served as a reminder that he was able to hold his own. However, he was beginning to feel uncomfortable about brawling in plain view of the public. Nobody was down this street, but anyone could look down and see them. Then, all of a sudden, Squall was flipped and shoved against the wall, the stucco wall pricking into his back and arms.
"What the hell are you doing?!" Squall remarked, eyes flitting to the main street with unease.
Seifer's feral, manic face had converted into one of predatory instinct, and Squall knew exactly what that meant, but he wasn't going to let Seifer accost him in front of passers-by. Squall slipped out of his grasp and paced backwards out of reach.
Seifer sneered hotly. "You're such a tease."
"Not here." Squall began to walk down the street, looking back with a smirk. "Well, are you coming or what?"
Almost taken aback by the forwardness of the ice princess, Seifer's being rejoiced and spurred him on as they made their way to the nearby hotel.
Squall could not even feel embarrassed as he booked a room for the both of them, sensing that the woman at the desk knew exactly why they were here. She knew that they were not business partners, nor friends, but kept whatever prejudices she might have to herself. Squall was not even worried, because overwhelming all his fears were the thoughts of something much more exciting, and even the anticipation was sending him into a stupor. Grasping the keys and regarding Seifer coolly, he led him towards the elevator. It was quite interesting, actually; the amount of times he had called Seifer the sorceress' lapdog, and here he was acting like a loyal pooch, following his master. Squall grinned, pleasure bubbling away. He knew that Seifer was no pushover, but he also knew that Seifer's romantic dreams were finally becoming realised, and he would give anything to fulfil them to his utmost ability.
He couldn't even believe the way he was thinking and acting; with Seifer it felt so intrinsic, so natural. The elevator was making its way up to their floor achingly slowly, and all Squall could feel was an intense desire to connect their flesh, but he would wait until they were in their own space to do so. Seifer was fidgeting next to him, obviously feeling the restraint wearing thin.
The ding from the elevator alerted them. Once through the doors, Squall fervently eyed the corridor for their room, locating it and swiping them through. Almost immediately after the door clicked closed Seifer pushed Squall against it, running his coarse fingers up under his shirt. Hot lips enveloped his, breath mingling and entwining with their tongues.
"For a long time I imagined this moment," Seifer spoke between kisses, "and I wondered if the real thing would live up to the hype."
Squall smirked, feeling their groins clash together clumsily, yet deliciously. "Well? Does it?"
Seifer yanked off Squall's and his shirt, pulling up Squalls legs to wrap around his waist. "I haven't fucked you yet."
The blonde dipped his head to lap at Squall's now erect nipples, nipping at them sharply.
"Ahh, fuck." Squall yelped, pulling on Seifer's hair with one hand and digging his fingernails into Seifer's back with the other. His head was swimming with incomplete thoughts and feelings, but one thing was certain; they were wearing far too much.
Feet now on the floor, Seifer against the wall, Squall fell on his knees. Snapping the buttons to Seifer's pants open and pulling down the zip, Squall could see by the damp patch on Seifers boxers that he was incredibly excited. As if anticipating touch, his erection jutted out, seemingly desperate for sensation. Squall would never have imagined himself knelt in front of his nemesis about to pleasure him, but the thought of it made him heady with arousal. He ran his nose along the impressive length, smelling the distinctive scent of Seifer and his pre-cum, placing his lips against the moist tip. Seifer bucked forward, impatient with the teasing. Without hesitation, the brunette pulled down Seifer's trousers and underwear in one swift movement. Seconds later and Seifer's heat was firmly in Squall's mouth.
Seifer nearly became delirious from disbelief and pleasure. It was obvious that Squall had never done this before, and he was still shocked at Squall's behaviour. There was none of his reservation or calm consideration. Squall obviously trusted him enough to bend his knee, something Seifer never would have thought possible. Hot fingers held his side rigidly, blisteringly icy eyes shooting a searing gaze up to his. If Seifer had not been against the wall, he would have staggered back from the look alone. The suction and feel of Squall's lips was beginning to drive him crazy, and even though technique was lacking, it was still enough to bring him dangerously close to climax.
Feeling the telling twitches, bucking and pulsating from his rival, Squall knew that Seifer was close, so he kept on with fervour. He was interrupted however, Seifer clenching his hair and pulling his head back.
Seifer exhaled raggedly. As much as he desired to let loose, he was a gentleman, and gentlemen returned the favour. "Get on the bed," Seifer ordered.
Squall obediently arose and strode over to the large canopy bed, undoing his trousers as he went. The movement was incredibly coquettish; slowly lowering his garments along the round of his buttocks and stretching out the waistband so it didn't get hooked on his erection. He was still remarkably thin, but his musculature was impressive regardless, and Seifer believed that no matter what, he would find him attractive. He wasn't just attracted to his body, anyway.
Squall twisted around and leant on his elbows, knowing that he was showing Seifer everything. Nervousness permeated through him, despite his initial confidence, but he tried to swallow it down. He would never balk underneath Seifer's gaze, during battle or sex. Seifer smiled almost tenderly as he walked over, climbing onto the bed with Squall and leaning alongside him.
"You don't need to feel embarrassed. You're fucking amazing, every single inch of you. I want to touch every single inch of you." Seifer ran his fingers lightly from Squall's chest downwards, goosebumps forming in their wake. Squall clenched his eyes closed, unable to control the quakes in his body. Rough, fighter's fingers encircled his length gently at first, but tightened steadily, moving tantalisingly slowly upwards and downwards. A strangled cry escaped Squall's throat, his hips arching up instinctively.
"Seifer…" Squall sighed, opening his eyes to find the blonde's staring right back at him.
That familiar smirk was plastered on his face, the one he always used to have when they fought, but it now had new meaning. Or maybe it was the same meaning, but during different circumstances. Another particularly forceful stroke and he was arching up again, the waves of pleasure coursing through him, lapping, ebbing and flowing. This time Seifer did not relent and continued to milk him with his strong grip. Squall could feel it all coming to a head as he continued, barely even noticing another hand caressing his thighs, moving slowly down his perineum to his hole.
Squall knew what sex involved between two men, but the shock of a lubricated finger circling that part of his body racked his body so much that he shrunk away from Seifer's touch.
"Seifer, I…"
Seifer gripped Squall hard again so that he shivered, but concern was still written all over his face.
"You know I would never hurt you or do something you don't want me to, but trust me, you're going to feel amazing once you get used to it." Seifer smirked and continued to caress him until he relaxed.
Squall swallowed and forced himself to calm down. He had never ventured there, but had heard it could be pretty pleasurable. Seifer's lips found his again and over time, the probing didn't feel so foreign. Getting past the first barrier had been the hardest part, but after sufficient stretching and with further manipulation of his cock, he felt the fire surge back stronger than before. Deeper Seifer seemed to go with his fingers, seemingly searching with each thrust. His moans were also coming back thick and fast, muffled by Seifer's mouth. One particularly deep thrust and Squall now understood the pleasure they were talking about. He arched, his length pulsing and harder than he ever thought possible.
"There we go…" Seifer chuckled. "Brace yourself. I can't wait any longer."
Squall flushed deeper as the blonde withdrew his fingers, watching his body move upright and between his legs. His penis was an impressive size, beautiful and glistening, but Squall was not only admiring, but panicking.
"You're massive." Squall muttered. "How the fuck are…"
Seifer silenced Squall with a kiss and pressed his tip to Squall's loosened hole. "I'll take it slow."
The initial penetration burned so much that he winced, but Seifer was achingly slow and gentle. His hand on Squall's member had not ceased moving, so Squall was slowly getting used to the sensation of Seifer within him. Slowing he moved forward, until they were flush against each other. Squall was in disbelief that he had fitted, but the consequent pleasured erased any remaining doubts and fears. Seifer pulled back slowly, but faster than before, falling into a rhythm. Squall was beginning to get impatient with the restrained thrusts, so much so that he pushed back into Seifer's body, grinding into him. Every time he brushed that spot inside him he shuddered closer to orgasm, but Seifer was still frustratingly gentle.
"Seifer…" Squall moaned, his face flush and eyes clenched, "fuck me harder for Hyne's sake!"
"Hmph, I knew you'd be like this." Seifer grinned, this experience already surpassing his expectations. Pulling Squall's legs over his shoulders, he gripped Squall's waist and thrust into him deeply.
A satisfied moan and a smile was given in reply. Squall reached for his cock to bring him closer to the end he was desperate to reach. It had already been so drawn out that it was becoming almost painful. Seifer's eyes met Squall's as he bit into his right calf, sending resolving shocks through the brunette's body. The flowing waves crashed and with jutting hips and clenching muscles Squall came hard, sending rivulets of come into the air, and onto his stomach. The clenching and moaning from Squall was all too much for Seifer, as he too fell into orgasm, the pleasure racking his body in intense bursts. Seifer promptly collapsed onto his lover, head resting against his chest and hearing the rapidly pulsing heartbeat slow. Their hands instinctively found each other and intertwined.
For minutes they didn't say anything, lingering in the afterglow, not wanting to be removed from the moment by reality. Seifer considered the mess he had made inside Squall, and withdrew himself from his body tentatively.
"Are you okay?" He asked, facing Squall, genuinely concerned.
What happened next sent bolts of happiness through Seifer. Squall smiled with the most ease he had ever seen, as if the world's weight had been lifted from his shoulders and he had found true happiness.
"Very much so." Squall replied, stroking his fingers through Seifer's hair. "It's been a long time coming."
Seifer nodded, laughing to himself for no good reason. "We've been huge idiots this whole time."
"Well, I don't know about me, but you definitely have." Squall grinned, moving in a carefully controlled way so as to not spoil the sheets too much.
Squall felt as though he had finally found an escape, but he knew that he would have to face the world again soon. The world… and Rinoa. Guilt seeped through and he tried to shrug it off, but until discussing it with her he knew he would not be fully at peace.
