Hello everybody! I'm back!
I'm sorry, I know I always say this, but sorry it took me this long to update. I really have no excuse, except I've been struggling with a new job and it has absorbed most of my time.
Anyway, here is chapter 4! At last! As you remember, Piccolo and Gohan decided to go to little Goten's party, and talk about their feelings for each other next morning. So we take the story from there! Enjoy!
Thank you all of you who follow this story, me as an author, and those who left me a review. They all mean the world!
I own nothing but the plot, you know.
Chapter 4
Confessions
Piccolo barely talked to anyone at the party. That wasn't new. Gohan barely talked to Piccolo. That was new. For whenever you turned to look at those two, they were always apart from each other, and besides the fact that they arrived together, they had not talked at all.
Even so, the party went out just fine. People were eating and having fun. The kids were having a great time, sparring and eating most of the time. Everything was normal, except that Gohan wasn't eating, sparring, or talking that much, and basically avoided turning his sight to his former mentor, or anyone for that matter.
"Gohan, are you alright?" asked Krillin on the first chance he had to talk to him "You don't look so good.
"Yeah… don't worry" he began rubbing the back of his head and gave him a faint smile. Piccolo's sight turned just a little bit into that direction, although nobody noticed. That was something that Gohan admired of him very much. Piccolo almost never lost control. And right now he was just sitting under the shadow of a large tree, in his usual position, away from everyone. Nothing out of the ordinary.
"You don't look so good" Yamcha said from behind "Is this about your girlfriend?"
Gohan's eyes widened just the slightest bit. Yes, his girlfriend… his girlfriend that wasn't at the party at the time. Why? Because…
"I… I don't have a girlfriend" Gohan pathetically mumbled.
"What?" asked Krillin "What happened with Videl?"
Gohan began laughing nervously and rubbing the back of his head again. Piccolo's sight moved a little bit more to stare directly to his former pupil. This time Gohan could see the motion from the edge of his eye.
"We just… we didn't understand each other… About a week ago I told her I needed time and she said that…" he took a deep breath and his eyes ventured to take a quick look to Piccolo, quite aware that he was listening "she said that if I wasn't sure we could call it off…" he turned to look at the floor.
"Oh man… I'm sorry, she seemed nice" said Yamcha, placing a hand on Gohan's shoulder "but you know, these things happen" he turned just in time to give a glance to Bulma "I'm sure you will find one that's just for you!" Krillin agreed with him.
"Yeah… me too" whispered Gohan, giving a quick glance to Piccolo, who quickly turned his face away. If not being for his self control, he would have shown a deep shade of purple all over his green face. Gohan sighed.
He tried really hard to be contented during the rest of the party. He even managed to survive the jokes that Master Roshi kept telling at the table. He gave his best when he tried to eat like a normal saiyan. But it was useless, for everyone could see that he was troubled by something, but they all agreed it was best not to ask. It was probably because he broke up with his girlfriend. Nothing more.
When it was time to depart, everyone gave happy good byes and whispers of comfort for the boy. After all left, only Piccolo remained, standing against a tree. Chichi took his younger boy to bed, and Goku was carrying the presents inside, so Gohan took the chance to get closer to his former mentor.
"Picc…"
"Before you say anything" Piccolo interrupted. Gohan merely stood there, waiting "remember you agreed to not talking to me today"
"Yes… I just… came to say good bye" Gohan turned to look at the grass, holding tears back from the cruel rejection.
"I'll be waiting for you tomorrow, as we agreed" came the strong voice. Gohan's eyes opened all of a sudden, and before he could say anything, Piccolo was on his way.
Gohan sighed again and turned to look into his direction. He felt something inside his chest that was hurting him deeply. He was about to rush into his room when he felt a strong hand on his shoulder.
"Son" said Goku "can we talk?"
Gohan couldn't help it. He needed to talk to someone, it hurt badly enough. He barely nodded to his father. Goku smiled at him, and then took a big jump, landing safely on the house's round roof, where he knew Chi chi would not hear them. Gohan followed him, and both sat at the house's top.
Goku didn't speak right away, but merely gave his son time enough to gather his thoughts.
"Before I went out with Videl I went to see Piccolo" he whispered. Goku remained silent, staring at his son, who had returned to that position of hiding his face in his knees "I told him…" he hesitated, was this really necessary? "I told him…" his face was red, his breathing was uneasy.
"You told him… that you love him?" Goku said, almost carefully. He didn't mean to interrupt his son, but he really looked like he could use some help. Gohan turned to face his father in horror "Yes, I know that you love him, son"
"How?" Gohan's voice was faint.
"Well, you are my son" he kept smiling "and also… I noticed from the way you look at him. It's the same look Vegeta gives to Bulma, the same Krillin gives to Eighteen… the same I give to your mother" Goku turned to look at the now bright stars, and sighed "what did he answer?"
Gohan was slowly processing everything his father was saying. He took a deep breath, and looking directly to his knees, he said "he told me that he loved me too… but we couldn't be together"
Goku's expression turned serious for a moment. For dear life, he wasn't sure how to respond to that. Was this for real? After all these years suffering in silence, Piccolo just said 'yes but no?' Gohan buried his face in his knees again.
"And… you agreed to that?" he asked, his eyebrows frowning and his voice unreadable for the first time since Gohan could remember.
"I thought it was ok, I wasn't expecting anything… I… liked Videl and I thought I could move on… maybe now that I had been honest to him and myself I could… move on" Gohan took his face out, and ventured to look at his father "but I was wrong… I can't… I love Videl but just… not like that…"
Goku looked at his son, and knew he had been right all along. He always knew there was some sort of adoration between Gohan and Piccolo, but he wasn't sure how deep the feeling had incrusted in his son's fragile heart. Now he knew, for sure, that his son was in love with one of his oldest friends, and it was hurting him badly.
"Nothing of this would have happened if I had not kissed him…" and here, for the first time in years, Goku froze.
Gohan's comment was blind. He had not mean to say it, it just came out, and now he was staring at the stars, and Goku was carefully digesting what he had heard. Gohan… his Gohan… his first born child… he kissed Piccolo?
"Today he told me that we shouldn't… that we can't be together… it's horrible! Why would he say something like that if he… if he truly loves me? He knows something's going on between us but he is stubborn and still refuses to acknowledge it!"
Tears began falling down his cheeks. Goku took a deep breath, and Gohan buried down his face again.
"Son" Goku gently spoke, but Gohan didn't move. So Goku placed his strong arm around Gohan's shoulders, and hold him close. It was such a tender touch, one that Gohan had not felt from him in years "Gohan I believe he loves you, very much" Gohan slowly turned to look at his father "but he is scared. And he is insecure… I believe he loves you so much, he doesn't want you to suffer the loneliness he has felt all his life. He probably believes that there is no way you can be happy with him"
"But he is wrong! I want to be with him! More than anything!" Gohan held back the tears again.
"I know. And you should convince him of that as well" Gohan was sobbing now. Goku's eyes showed him a kindness that he had not seen in a very long time.
"So… are you ok with this? With me and him… being together?"
"I guess it's weird" Goku answered, smiling and rubbing the back of his head "but I just want you to be happy son, and if he makes you happy, I am not the one to get in between"
Gohan smiled for the first time that day. He let go of the air he didn't know he was holding before talking again.
"Thank you dad" he whispered.
"No problem."
"Goku! Come and help me with something!" came Chichi's voice.
"Coming!" Goku stood up "and about your mother… maybe we should wait… before saying anything to her… I mean" Goku began whispering, as if fearing that she might listen to him speaking "I don't think she would hate you, it's just that maybe… you know what I mean right?"
"Yeah, right" answered Gohan. Goku nodded to him, and then jumped from the roof, landing close to his wife.
"Is everything ok?" she asked her husband, staring at Gohan.
"Yes, it is ok" he smiled, and Chichi knew she could trust him, for that particular smile was just for her. Before she could answer, and with no warning, Goku leaned down, and kissed her softly.
"Goku!" she cried out once he moved away. He laughed nervously, rubbing the back of his head, and, both blushing, moved inside.
Gohan looked at them really amazed. He almost never saw his father kissing his mother, and this time he just wondered…
"Could I have that with him? Can he love me like that?" he sighed, and without a noise, he floated gently to his bedroom's window, and got inside.
Piccolo sat in his usual Lotu's position at the edge of the Lookout. He could feel the cold breeze hitting his features, but he couldn't care less. Cold couldn't catch him, the hot summer's air couldn't affect him, neither had he felt hunger or sickness. Not even a wound would bother him for long. There was only one thing in the world that actually affected him, and that was Gohan.
Yes, that kid managed to affect him and quite badly actually. He was the reason for him to feel anxiety, to feel pain, to feel fear, for since the first time he sacrificed himself for Gohan, all those feelings came to register inside his mind. Before Gohan there was nothing. No feelings, no fear, no pain. Only the next fight, the next enemy, the next surviving test life could offer him. And then Gohan came in. He would very much like to curse the day he decided to take him to train but… he just couldn't. He would be dead and rotting in hell, all alone and miserable if not being for the kid.
Yet there would be a nice ending to that scenario. He would have never fallen in love with him. Only… would that really be nice?
Piccolo could recall the first time he had noticed something was out of himself when it came to the kid. He was eighteen years old, whereas Gohan was only fourteen.
The kid sat on a large rock by a lake, wearing some sweat pants and a plain white T-shirt. Piccolo sat next to him. They had been training for a while now, and at this point they were only resting, with Gohan incessantly talking about his studies and his little baby brother and how strong he was, when Piccolo's mind went away.
'He can really talk a lot…' he thought, not really paying attention to what Gohan was saying 'he is smiling… it's been a while since he did that so sincerely… it must be because of his baby brother… I'm glad he is here… I love that smile'
There. So simple. Just a simple smile and now he admitted to himself… he loved that smile.
Piccolo's cheeks began burning instantly. He was entering in a panic state real fast. What was that feeling? His cheeks burning, his heart racing… and just when he thought it couldn't get any worse, Gohan opened his arms wide, simply saying "and then he rolled over! Can you believe that? He is so small yet he is perfectly capable of doing that!" he chuckled "He is awesome!"
The laugh did it. Gohan's laugh, so crystal clear, so sweet, so simple. A tingle began growing, reaching Piccolo's spine and chest. His heart beat was wild now, and he entered such a frantic state that he found it hard to breath. Thank Kami, Gohan kept talking, staring at the lake, not really aware of his struggle. Piccolo took a deep breath, trying to ease himself, and did his best to not disturb his friend.
"And he is really cool on that too! Hey, Piccolo sama, are you alright?" He tilted his head a bit in confusion, for he could notice now that Piccolo was trembling "you're shaking Piccolo sama! What's going on? Are you ill?"
Gohan reached out a hand to grab his arm. Piccolo felt his skin burning by the touch. What the hell was happening to him? He didn't move though, he didn't want to scare Gohan out of nothing. Because this event WAS NOTHING…
"Nothing, Gohan… I just have to leave" he said, rising to his feet.
"Did I do something…"
"It has nothing to do with you" he answered "I'll see you again tomorrow, as usual" he continued, trying to control the trembling in his voice. Damn!
"Ok Piccolo sama. I hope you feel better!" the smile again. Piccolo tried hard not to blush again… wait… he just blushed? What on earth?
"Bye kid" and off he went.
Thinking back, Piccolo knew since that day his life was not the same. He denied for weeks he was attracted to the kid, but there was no use to it. Nobody knew, but he actually was fully aware of his feelings and the effect they had on his body. Luckily for him, Gohan had to stay home for a few days afterwards, allowing him to meditate and find a way to control himself. He didn't want to terminate his friendship with the boy; all those things were just a mistake.
Just a mistake.
But then something happened.
All of a sudden, Gohan was looking after him more often. And getting closer. Hugging him harder as if fearful to lose him. And then there was that question. 'how much do you care about me?'
Yes. Piccolo knew. Deep inside he knew. The boy was in love with him too.
"I have to tell you, I need to tell you! Otherwise I'm going to drive myself crazy! Piccolo I love you!"
How could he allow such thing to happen?
It wasn't fair for the kid. He deserved a better life. A life out of fights, and trouble, and the misery of being alone without a place to call home. He wasn't supposed to love him! So that day, Piccolo knew. Before Gohan could talk he knew. The kid was going to confess something, and Piccolo knew it. He should have stop him! 'I'm sorry, I had to tell you… it hurt so bad' for how long had he felt this way?
His heart was breaking.
He stood up and moved to the meditation chamber. 'Tomorrow' he thought 'tomorrow we should talk. I must convince him… it must be done'
Dawn. Glorious dawn. Golden rays of morning entering the round water curtain that surrounded Piccolo, his silhouette as stoic as ever as he awaited. The awaiting being the easiest part of his day, for far into the dawn he could feel him. He was flying right into him, no doors to be opened this time. Gohan was entering directly through the opened part of the room. Piccolo knew what he had to do.
Gohan gently landed in front of the waterfall. His heart was a mess. Whether it was to gain courage or feel himself stronger, he was wearing his father's orange gi. Piccolo slowly opened his eyes, and saw the blurry figure through the waterfall. He gently moved it away like the first time, and took his time to stand in front of his former pupil. He took a moment to stare at the boy, noticing his anxious look, and felt the old pain inside his chest. The one that told him he couldn't stand Gohan's pain.
"Piccolo" Gohan whispered. He could see his oldest friend was struggling inside. He couldn't explain how, he just felt it. He suppressed the sudden urge to rush to his arms; he opened his lips to say something, but was abruptly interrupted by Piccolo.
"I know" he began "I know what you're about to say. That there's a way for us to be together, that you won't give up so easily, that you have no regrets about this. Let me stop you from it now" Piccolo took a step ahead, getting closer "Gohan, for what's best for you, just forget about this" every word broke another piece of Piccolo's heart. He had to do it, he had to "Just forget about me, your place isn't with me" his voice was slightly trembling. Gohan was trying hard not to listen "Please, I beg you" here Piccolo had to pause, he knew he could break, he just couldn't "forget about me"
Tears began falling from Gohan's eyes. Why did this hurt so much? Piccolo… Why?
"You are doing what everybody does to me" he whispered, his gaze turning to the stoned floor "you think you know what's best for me!" he shouted, suddenly turning his gaze from the floor to Piccolo, his eyes red from rage and pain "like everybody else you are whiling to make a decision for me!" his fists clenched. Piccolo watched with grief how Gohan, his Gohan was breaking in front of him, tears falling like the waterfall behind him "You think yourself so smart… my mother wants me to be a great student, my father that I could be a great fighter. And you want me to have a calm, easy going life… nobody ever asks what I want!" he fell to his knees out of his trembling legs "nobody understands me… I thought" he began sobbing uncontrollably "I thought you understood me" his body was shaking, all the strength he had gathered during the night now helplessly leaving him "I thought you loved me…"
His last words were almost lost in Piccolo's ears. For a moment, everything he could listen was Gohan's sobbing. Not even the waterfall registered in his mind. Things hadn't come out as he had expected. He had expected Gohan to be mad. Gohan, on the other hand, had expected Piccolo to refuse again. Sadly, it hurt more than he had expected, and he broke before he could help it. As for Piccolo, Gohan's words were registering in his brain. 'I thought you loved me' the pain those words produced in Piccolo was unbearable.
Through his crying, Gohan heard a hard thud. Before he could even open his eyes, Piccolo leaned down in front of him, and hugged him.
In shock, Gohan could feel that he had gotten rid of his shoulder weights and his turban. He could feel the softness of Piccolo's body next to his, with his hands gently resting on the green, strong chest. After moment, a warm feeling came down Gohan's cheek, and a second later he realized what it was: Piccolo was crying.
"I'm sorry" he whispered, his dark baritone voice trembling for the first time since Gohan could remember "You're sad because of me" he kept talking, holding Gohan even closer "I know you please the others all the time, I know it hurts you" his voice broke at the last few words. He took a deep breath before speaking again "and I know it because… because no one knows you better than I do. And also because…" here he took another deep breath "because no one loves you more… than I do"
Gohan couldn't believe his ears, he just couldn't. Was this for real? Did he hear correctly? He raised his hands, that had been resting on Piccolo's strong chest, and pushed him a bit by the shoulders. He stared at the black onix eyes, that were now filled with tears, and asked "what did you say?"
Piccolo gulped. How weak to let his feelings control him. But right now all he wanted, all he ever wanted since that day by the lake, was to keep this boy close… forever.
"I love you" he whispered to Gohan.
"Piccolo!" Gohan exclaimed, throwing himself to Piccolo's embrace again. The namekian didn't resist it this time, and hugged him back.
Gohan felt that his heart was about to explode out of happiness. Could this be true? Tears of joy began falling down his cheeks. He hold the namekian closer until, after a few seconds in his embrace, Gohan shyly moved his face closer to Piccolo's. The taller namekian leaned down a bit to get closer; Gohan moved carefully, as if he feared breaking the moment, and finally kissed him, pressing gently his lips against his, holding him strongly.
Since they were both on his knees, kneeling before the waterfall, Piccolo thought for a moment that they would both fall to the side, but managed to keep in control, and kissed him back. A loud moan at least escaped his throat when Gohan tried to quench his thirst with Piccolo's waterfall taste, introducing shyly his tongue inside his mouth. Desperately kissing each other for dear life, they filled their hearts with the sweet feeling of their kiss, their tastes mixing again in unison, their hands shyly wandering through each other's bodies, until air was missing and they had to part, both gasping, and both blushing quite violently. After gazing into each other's eyes for a moment, Piccolo was the first one to stand up, followed by Gohan. They stared at each other with a mixture of relief and tenderness.
"I love you too" Gohan mumbled, still quite altered by their kiss.
Piccolo got closer, and in one gracious movement, hugged Gohan again, softly pressing his body against his own.
"I'll stay by you, as long as you want me to" the strong baritone voice said.
"Forever" the boy whispered. Piccolo chuckled. Music to Gohan's ears.
They remained like that for what would have seemed ages to them both, just enjoying the warm of each other.
"Gohan" Piccolo whispered. The boy turned to look at him, not daring to let him go "what now?"
What now, indeed?
So there you have it! Please, let me know what you think in a review! I love reviews! Remember we writers feed on them! Next chapter is in progress, I'll try to finish it as soon as I can! Thank you for reading!
