A/N:
Disclaimer: I do not own twilight.
Chapter 14
Bella's POV
After Dinner I told Dad there was a lot of work waiting for me in my room from last night. As soon as I was upstairs, I locked the door, threw the stupid bunch of beautiful, blue flowers into the basket and lay down on my bed.
When I was laying there in on my back I tried to banish every thought from my head about Edward. I didn't want to think about him at the moment. Finally, after a few minutes, I looked at the ceiling thinking about nothing. But this was only possible for a short time, until my phone interrupted my spiritual black-out by vibrating.
And again I immediately thought about him and everything that happened yesterday. Argh! I slowly was getting crazy. In hope it wouldn't be his name who was flashing up at the phone-screen, I risked a glance. Every part of my body was on alert. I felt my heart beating like I was running a marathon.
The rate of my heart beat rose dramatically as I reached the phone and spotted the name of the caller I got a goose bump. It was Edward Cullen.
No! No! No! I can't handle this right now. What should I do? I couldn't ignore him forever. But on the other hand it wouldn't be much to my regret if I missed this call. So, I decided to not pick it up and ignore it instead. He could wait. I still needed to figure out what to do and how everything should go on.
Hence I made myself comfortable on the bed again. This time, unfortunately, my spiritual black-out made no signs of appearing in the near future. I was too upset. So many thoughts went through my head.
To my own surprise I did something I haven't done since the age of nine years: I took the first pillow my fingers grabbed, pressed it on my head and screamed. I screamed for about twenty seconds and instantly decided to do it again. All of my desperation, anger, confusion, embarrassment and fear from the last 24 hours went into that pillow. I still was furious and as I felt my head turning red I tried to breath constantly.
And if I wasn't already upset enough my phone vibrated again. I let out a sigh and before I could change my mind I decided to pick up. No matter who was calling.
Half an hour later I lay on my bed, but this time crying.
Normally, I wasn't nearly as an emotional person as I was today, I didn't know what was wrong with me. Maybe I wasn't used to that amount of boys-issues appearing at only one day. And additionally to that, I had a long night yesterday.
In hope of getting some distraction I decided to look through the pictures I took at the prom. Which appeared to not be the most intelligent decision in my lifetime.
After I saw the first picture of me and Edward smiling while we were dancing, I started sobbing again. My eyes filled with tears which ran down my cheeks. It made me sad seeing us both happy and light-hearted in a way we possible wouldn't ever be again.
Alice must have taken the picture and at the moment I wished she hadn't. I went on and looked at even more pictures of us. Another one dancing, then a few where we clearly had something to laugh about, one where Edward led me to the dancefloor the second time that evening– as prom queen. And at least one where we were dancing with our little crowns, looking at each other. I could hear the song playing in my head while I was looking at the picture.
Including to the pain that was released by looking through all these pictures, there was something more at every picture which aroused my attention: The way he looked at me and the charism he had in that moment. His eyes were sparkling at me in admiration. At. Every. Fu*****. Picture.
What did I do? Was it possible that I just ruined our friendship? Suddenly, I was totally aware of the consequences my actions may could have. Nothing would be the same. Never ever. What did I do? Even more hot tears streamed down my face and I sobbed. I tried to calm down but it just didn't want to work.
I was sure my condition wouldn't get better for a while so I changed into my pyjamas and prepared myself for bed. As I went in my room again my eyes fell on the bunch of flowers in the basket. Even more tears ran down my cheeks. I put them out of it and into a vase.
Afterwards I climbed in my bed, being absolutely aware of the fact that I couldn't go back 24 hours and undo some of my latest actions. Therefore, I was grateful I was accompanied by a box of tissues.
Edward's POV
Thinking about yesterday night made me happy. Finally, I had the chance to show Bella how much I cared for her. I was even more delighted thinking about that kiss. A kiss induced by her. Amazing. I still remembered that feeling of her lips on mine. Now I was even more in love with her than the night before.
Although I didn't want to think about it, there wasn't much time left for Alice and me in Forks. Alice and I were spending the two nights at a bed & breakfast a little bit outside of Forks. Due to our long night yesterday, we overslept breakfast time completely. It was 11 in the "morning". We had to catch the flight tomorrow afternoon in Seattle. Not much time until that so I decided to go jogging. I had to wake up. I would get us something on the way back.
Before I left, I checked my phone for missed calls or messages but there was nothing. Maybe Bella was still sleeping. I got my iPod and some money and left our room. Alice was talking to one of her friends from New York over the phone so I wrote her a note what I was up to.
It was cold outside, I enjoyed it. I breathed in deeply and started slowly running. The music in my ears made it easier and after about twenty minutes I was in the centre of Forks. I looked for a bakery and grabbed some breakfast for us. I decided to take another way back because I didn't want to be back too soon.
For a short moment I was thinking about visiting Bella. But I threw away that thought realizing how terrible my scent probably was right now. I ran through Forks and as the trees of the park appeared I ran towards it. As I arrived at the park I turned off the music and took a short break to walk through the park.
Years ago this was one of my favourite places in Forks. Because of that I knew it quite well. I wasn't looking where I was going, I just followed the trail while looking around at the trees without thinking. I was just about to turn around when I suddenly heard a familiar voice.
I went on to find it. I reached one of the crossways. Some people were staring to the right. I followed their looks and recognized Bella was standing at a bench with Andy. She clearly didn't look happy. Bella nearly screamed at Andy. I couldn't hear exactly what she was saying but due to her facial expression it was nothing lovely.
Bella didn't stop screaming at Andy. That was very unusual for her. Normally she wasn't such a talker. Looking at her more precisely I realized she was crying too. Poor Bella. I wanted to comfort her but a feeling told me I shouldn't interrupt them right now.
She abruptly stopped speaking as Andy said something and looked around. I hit behind a tree and waited for a moment. After a few seconds I risked a glance. Now she was handing him something. From my position it was impossible to recognize what she gave him but due to Andy's reaction I thought it must have been something very personal for them.
And then it clicked. They were breaking up. Now everything was clear for me. That's why Bella way crying and Andy was looking like he would collapse every second. Bella must have chosen me. YES! It worked.
I left the park on a different way so I wouldn't meet one of them and headed back to Alice. Although Bella didn't look happy back there, my mood was getting even better. She chose me! Finally, I could tell my sweet, little Bella how much I loved her.
Alice and I spent the afternoon laying around in our room and watching TV. But I couldn't really focus on what I saw. My thoughts were somewhere else. Bella. The night. The kiss.
I haven't told Alice about the kiss yet, she probably would have asked too many questions afterwards. So I decided to tell her in the evening, until that, Bella would have called and it would be officially.
Alice already knew what was up. She showed me a picture of Bella's dress last week and helped me pick up the flowers and the outfit. And she was the one who encouraged me that I did the right thing. She told me that she had a feeling Bella liked me more as a friend as well. Alice already predicted we would fit together perfectly and therefore would end up together no matter what. I started laughing when she even tried to tell me how many kids we would have on day. She sometimes truly was a bit special.
However, time passed by slowly without signs of a message or a call from Bella. I was getting concerned. Maybe something happened to her? I wanted to call her so badly, but decided to wait a little longer because I didn't want to make her uncomfortable.
When it was half past five I decided to try my luck. I couldn't wait longer. She didn't pick up. Maybe Charlie and she were just having dinner. I would try it a little later again.
After Alice and I ate everything she had brought to our room some moments before, I decided to call her again. I went in the bathroom so Alice wouldn't bother me during one of my most important phone calls in my life.
Half an hour later I wished I wouldn't have called. I couldn't stand that city one more day or hour. I told Alice we had to leave immediately. Ten minutes later we had everything packed and headed towards the airport. On the way there I listened to music and repeatedly went through that call in my head again. I still couldn't believe what happened. I was afraid of bursting out in tears every moment. It hurt too much. I clenched my fists.
How did I deserve this? I tried my best yesterday and we had fun. We laughed so much together, I flirted as much as possible with her to show her how much I cared for her and she was happy. We had a great time, although we didn't kiss at the prom it was amazing. The tension between us while we were dancing. It felt so good. Not even speaking about the kiss. That's how I at least remembered it. Did she felt nothing? I was sure she liked me too. It was driving me insane being obviously so wrong about a person's emotions and her honesty.
Disappointment was only one of many emotions I felt at the moment. I was angry and sad at the same time. And although I was a wreck right know I still loved her. But I knew if I didn't forget her soon it would end bad for me.
A/N:
So Bella made a decision she may regret? We will see. Poor Edward! What do you think did she tell him? And predictions?
Review and you will know sooner! :-)
And please let me know your thoughts about the story so far and this chapter. It is quite hard to write without critics.
Thanks to everyone who favorited the story/ put the story on alert so far!
amelie
