Hey you guys! Sorry that this is being posted so late into the week, I'm trying to get to where I update on a weekly basis which is Saturdays. But unfortunately I came down with the flu and seriously I saw some of the things that I typed while under the influence of Theraflu and Nyquil...seriously that was some crazy crap. But enough of my ramblings. I really really really hope you enjoy this chapter.
Chapter 8
After Edward left me outside for him to answer his message while I poorly attempted to water my plants I failingly attempted to look inconspicuous watching the small sightings of him breezily flow throughout his home gathering his belongings to run back to the hospital.
Hospital. Just that one word alone wiped all of the rare bright thoughts that I was having at the moment and brought everything else to a stand-still as I instantly was reminded of my own current physical predicament. Speaking of physical predicament, more like thinking of it, I could literally feel myself getting ill. That slight burning sensation in the back of my throat, kind of like the feeling of getting acid reflux, that's the bile, the bile getting ready to spring for like that Exorcist movie my mother told me not to watch and I did anyway and it made me wish I had done as I was told.
I could see Edward walking to his back door at a brisk pace and coming out to get to his parked car on the petite driveway on the side of the house mostly used for visitors. I could feel the bile coming more quickly and strongly, before I could turn my head to look away from him as he began to walk by I heard a rushed, 'Goodbye again, Bella.' And on reflex I turn to way and say a goodbye as well, all of the vomit that I was keeping down flew out of my mouth and onto the nearby plants, patio and the fence right in front of Edward.
"Are you ok Bella!?" he asked, sounding very concerned. Other than Ms. Cope next door, I can't remember someone being so concerned about me.
"Yes, I'm fine," I gasped, clutching my stomach, willing the sharp pains to go away, "oh my goodness, I'm so sorry. That was so embarrassing. I didn't get any on you did I?" I asked very worried that I had gotten my inner contents on his obviously fine and expensive clothing.
"No you didn't, I'm not concerned with myself. I need to make sure that you are OK. Are you sure that you're alright? Because you are looking quite pale." He stressed.
"Yes, yes. I'm fine, I promise, I think that it was something that I ate that is not agreeing with my stomach today. I actually feel better that it's all up. Albeit it was a very embarrassing way for it to come up." I attempt to joke.
"Well you should go inside and lay down, and if you are feeling nauseated drink some orange juice or ginger ale and a few saltine crackers. The combination will help settle the stomach and the nausea." I could tell that he was in full doctor mode, spewing all of this information onto me. "Do you need me to help you inside?" he asked again with a very pronounced crease at the top of the bridge of his nose. He looked really stressed.
"No, I'm fine seriously. But I will take heed to what you said and go lay down, I don't want to keep you from your work." I said again. He looked at me all over again making sure that he paid close attention to each detail. I could feel something creeping all over me again, but it wasn't the urge to vomit once more. The feeling was so tense I had to suppress a nervous chuckle that was trying to let its way out. Nuh-uh! No way, is anything else falling out of my mouth today.
Pressing my lips together I took the initiative and took a step forward to open the sliding door that lead back inside the confines of my quiet, puke free home. "Thank you again Edward." I said shyly, he cocked his head to the side and looked at me curiously. "Thank me for what Bella?" I like the way my name rolls off of his tongue.
I do a small shuffle on my feet, "For being concerned and checking on me to make sure that I was OK." I could see the faint square screen of his phone lighting up his pocket while he blatantly ignored it.
"Why wouldn't I be concerned?" He asked beginning to look even more serious than before. That look really made me nervous; the look on Edward's face frightened me than Mike's angry look when he is at his absolute worst. I'd hate to see him when he is really angry. I do my nervous foot shuffle thing again. Where and when in the heck did I pick this nervous habit up at? I wondered to myself.
"It's just that there are some people in the world who really don't give a damn about you or what happens to you. And I really think that you should get that." I say motioning towards his phone.
"That is a very much true statement. Have you ever encountered people who don't give a damn about you or what happens to you? And I'm not worried about it, my P.A and I have a system. However many calls back to back means how many centimeters dilated, as long as I'm there before seven centimeters I'm all good." Wow, he must be really good at what he does. No wonder he's never home, every woman must want him as their gynecologist and obstetrician. "Now back to my first question."
"Oh well, yes, yes I have," Mike. "But those are some things that you just have to deal with sometimes." Every single day of my miserable life, I watch as Edward squints his eyes a little when he senses that I'm not going to elaborate any further on my explanation.
"Well with that I believe that I'll be on my way, once again goodbye Bella and I hope that you'll feel better." He gave me a small smile and walked away, I turned as well going back inside so I could shower and get the grimy feeling of vomit off me and so I could also wash my ruined clothes. I really hope Edward wasn't lying to about me not ruining his clothes just to be nice. I couldn't contemplate on it too much because I could hear one of my babies starting to cry through the baby monitor. As I made my way up the narrow staircase one of their cries stopped. I tip toed my way to their bedroom door and peeked in, I guess one of them dropped their pacifier because they were both back sound asleep, as if they'd never stirred.
I went into the bathroom and began to strip out of my increasingly sticky feeling clothes kicking them into a pile on the floor for and looked at myself in the full length mirror hanging on the back of the door. I took in my appearance, there was absolutely nothing appealing about me that I saw, all I could see was the long yet dull looking hair, a hallowed and very pale face, and the rest of my body that didn't get any sunlight looked just as pale if not even more pale than usual, and I'm too thin, I knew it was too soon to look for a bump so I didn't even really think to do that. This is all that I am I said to myself…who else would or could possibly want me?
I quickly took my shower and jumped out wrapping a towel around myself and taking my soiled clothing down to the laundry room. After getting my laundry situated, I went into the kitchen to get an idea of what I could fix for dinner. I had to think and think hard because I had to make sure that I didn't piss Mike off, sometimes even having the wrong thing cooked for dinner would make him unhappy. But hell, I'm nor a damn mind reader…not that I would say that to his face. I decided on chicken fried steak, mashed potatoes, a honey roll and green beans or corn was on the menu for tonight and I set away doing the prep for tonight's meal so I wouldn't be scrambling to do it later on this evening.
I'd completely forgotten about the fact that I was in the kitchen doing prep work while wearing only a towel when the doorbell rang and I went to answer it. Walking to the door I undid the locks and realized that I must have put the dead bolt on it this morning when Mike left to go to work. I quickly opened the door and there stood Edward holding a bag that looked like it from the locally owned pharmacy and a very shocked yet intense look on his face. He continued to stand there not saying anything. "Edward?" I asked clearly confused. "What are you doing here?"
"I…um, Bella," he cleared his throat trying to either look away or at me strictly in my eyes only. "There was a false alarm at work, and I remembered you on my way home so I wanted to get you something from the drug store that would make you feel better." He rambled on, I was really curious as to what had him acting like that…until I looked down and noticed what I was wearing. With an impressive shriek I flew into the laundry room to retrieve my drying clothes from earlier. Once I was fully clothed I returned to the door where he was still standing.
"Sorry about that…I didn't realize what I had on." I murmured
"No apologies needed…I just wanted to make sure that you had all this." He said handing me the pharmacy bag
"Thank you so much Edward, that was really sweet of you but you didn't have to do this. I'm feeling much better now." I said
"Well keep it just in case you get sick again anyway OK?" He says firmly, I nod my head yes.
"Good, now I'll leave you alone so you can get back your work." Without waiting for me to give him a response he turns and walks right back to his house and shuts the door. I do the same and walk back into the kitchen to finish my prep.
Mike gets home at his usual time and grunts his whole way through everything; my usual greeting, and any questions I may throw his way in an effort of having any kind of semblance of normality or casual small talk, sometimes it just gets too quiet in this house…even when Mike is here. I'm headed back into the kitchen when the phone suddenly rings, as I turn back around to walk into the living room to pick it up Mike lurches for it a yanks it out off of its cradle before I can reach it. "I'll get it, go finish doing what you were going to do." He orders slightly breathless, I stand there kind of shocked by his strange reaction and slightly unsure of what to do. "Well don't just stand there looking like a fool Bella, go back to doing whatever it was you were going to do." The phone continues to ring in his hand and he turns his back to me and walks into the den while answering the phone while I hear a muted "Hello?" and then the door shuts.
About ten minutes later he walks out of the den with the smallest imperceptible pep in his step, I'm really wondering who that was so I take a chance and ask him, "Mike who was that on the phone?" I ask softly. He sits in his chair with the remote in his hand looking absolutely nonchalant while flipping through the channels, "Work supervisor, had a question. Why, what's it to you?" he asked sharply.
"Oh nothing, just curious…we normally don't get calls this hour. Just wanted to make sure it wasn't an emergency or something." I say.
"Well it wasn't." he says with such a bored tone in his voice. He looks like he is so mentally preoccupied, like he's not even here mentally. I take this as the perfect opportunity to tell him about my physical situation. I'm pretty in-tune with my body so I know for a fact that I always start showing early and when things whey heavily on my mind I tend to talk in my sleep…like a lot. I've been with Mike long enough to how he is and his ways; his mind is completely in lala land and when he has food in front of him his mind goes completely to mush.
The boys have been taken care of for the day and I can faintly hear the self-made sound effect sounds what is supposed to be race cars coming from their open bedroom door. I set the table and place all of the dishes there and fix Mike's plate telling him that dinner's ready. He walks into our small dining room with that same imperceptible pep in his walk. Sitting down he takes an audible sniff, "This actually looks good Bella." He says, once again…another back handed comment. Oh well I'll take it, especially with the news that I have for him. He immediately dug into his meal while I attempted to eat mine but instead just picking at it. Too nervous to do anything else but pick at it. OK, time to take the plunge, I say a quick prayer before I say anything to him, "Mike?" I say timidly.
"Hm?" He says around a mouthful of food.
"I have something to tell you," I say, trying to find some strength in my voice. He looks at me as he continues to shovel mashed potatoes and chicken fried steak into his mouth, using his eyes to tell me to continue on with his eyebrows perched high on his forehead making it wrinkle.
"I..um..I- I'm expecting." I stammer out. He looks at me again obviously not registering what I am saying by raising his eyebrows again. "Expecting what Bella, a phone call?" he asks after a swig of beer and shoveling more food into his mouth.
"No not a phone call. I'm expecting as in…I'm pregnant." I rush out, my body automatically tensing getting ready for his reaction. His mouth is slightly agape with food still food in it. He chews hastily and shallows.
He leans back into his chair never taking his eyes off of me, and reaches for his beer taking another swig. "You're what?" he asks very quietly.
"I'm pregnant…again." I whisper.
"How far along are you?" he asks so casually.
"I don't know…maybe a couple of weeks. I should've had my period two weeks ago. But it never came."
He scoffs, "Well obviously it didn't come, but that's ok." He says, he's so calm that it's kind of scary.
"It is," I ask. "It's ok?"
"Yeah, it is…because you're going to get it taken care of." He says so sure of himself.
"What do you mean taken care of?" I am trembling so hard that I can hear my teeth chattering.
"You know what I mean Bella," he says standing and picking up his beer getting ready to walk back into the living room. I'm so shaken right now my mind is still trying to play catch-up with the conversation.
"Get rid of it," He says over his shoulder, then turns back around and looks at me around the corner. "And by get rid of it I mean an abortion." He turns back around to the television as if nothing has just happened.
Abortion.
The bottom falls out from under me, and suddenly I can't breathe.
Okay Okay don't bash me over the head, I know that was kind of crappy of me to leave it there. But if you want more REVIEWS REVIEWS REVIEWS are my total inspiration so if you want more then leave me some REVIEWS dangit! LOL, ok time for me to go sip more Theraflu, goodnight lovelies! MWAH!
