Chapter 13

After my unexpected visit with Mrs. Cope, I felt as though I had even more hope to look forward to. Edward told me that he was there for me and that I was his friend, maybe I should trust him, allow him to help me to some extent. Maybe as an outlet so I didn't always have to bury my emotions, I knew that wasn't a healthy thing to do. I needed to release it all, maybe I could have someone who was on my side, a friend who could help me shoulder some of it. I never ever asked for anything from anyone, not ever. I have always asked why I was the one who had to go through this. Why did I always have to feel pain, physical and emotional. Didn't I deserve some type of happiness in this life? Not only for me, but for my sons as well? These were the questions that always plagued me. But I have recently in the past forty-eight come to the conclusion that if I want something bad enough then I am going to have to fight for it and take it for the keeping. Everyone deserves some semblance of happiness. With that, I went upstairs to Mikey and Ben's room where they were both wide awake and looking at me as walked in the door.

Greeting them a good morning in normal mom baby talk and hugging and kissing them I picked them both up, carrying them into the kitchen while listening to them coo. I placed them both in their high chairs and set about getting their breakfast fixed. They loved bananas, mixed berries and that soft spongey bread every morning. But looking at them I was going to have to ease up on the bread every once in a while. Because even though they are in the right weight bracket for their age my babies are becoming little hams. I can definitely feel it whenever I lift one of them. I walked to the table, pulling out my chair and sitting, and began spooning food into their mouths alternating between each of them. I like to talk to them, as weird as it sounds, but I just for them to know that mommy is there. I like for them to know the sound of my voice, even though I already know that they know it.

"Mikey, Ben, mama is going to get us out of here soon," I said as I was scooping more banana onto their spoons. "it may take a little bit of time but I'm going to get us safe and happy. I promise." I knew that they didn't know what I was talking about but they still smiled and slapped their hands on their high chair tops as if they did know and that was good enough for me. I finished feeding them and had a quick breakfast for myself, not knowing which way my stomach was going to swing for the day. My morning sickness symptoms had died down a small bit but I still wasn't taking any chances. I cleaned up our breakfast mess and set the boys in the living room where their hand me down playpen from the neighbors from across the street. Thank God that their children had outgrown it and was looking to either donate or sell it since they had no use for it. They loved their playpen, they were both inching towards beloved colored blocks before I could even turn around to go into the kitchen.

I walked to the kitchen sink, looking out of the window and stood there bracing my hands on the edge of the counter thinking. Thinking and thinking some more of what I could possibly do to get us out of this situation. Yes, Mrs. Cope gave me an idea of what I could do as far as couponing. That, without a doubt is something that I had planned on using, but I had to think of something quick. I had two depending on me, and I was only a few weeks along with another one. Which was a complete shock because I never missed a day with my birth control. But like the doctor at the clinic said, birth control pills like condoms are only 99% effective. I was the one percent, but I refused to do anything to change that, no matter how much he wanted it done. It was not going to happen.

I had to be smart, Mike may be an evil, hateful jerk, but he was craft and sneaky. There were times at the beginning of our marriage when he finally began to show me his true colors and I had not fully realized what I was getting myself into with him. Like the old saying goes, only time would tell…and boy did it tell. Once I thought that I was sneaky something extra by Mike, thinking that he would not notice at all but he was two steps ahead of me. Let's just say I didn't sleep well or comfortably that night.

Mike likes to try and stay two steps ahead of me, always thinking that I was going to do something. After that first time, I never tried anything again, never gave him a reason to be suspicious even though he always was. He questioned me and everything I did, wanted to know where I was going and where I was coming from. What I needed to do was let him think that he was two steps ahead of me when I was really two steps ahead of him to the best of my ability. I needed to formulate a clean cut plan that would allow me to do what I needed to without bringing any more unwarranted attention to myself. Whatever it was that I was going to do I needed to begin now, not later. I needed to keep a level head and not let my emotions get the best of me. If I just keep my eyes on the prize, which is my sons in a happy and safe environment. I can get through anything, as long as I keep my focus on that.

I didn't have friends anymore, except for Edward and I guess I could say Mrs. Cope. The people that I was friends with have moved on to different places, starting new careers, or are married with their own kids. After Mike and I wed, I was basically alienated from the few people that I did associate with. I needed to make sure that whatever the boys and I needed whenever we were able to make our final exit. I promised Edward, that I would fight, but I can't just fight…I had to escape. Escape before I got to the point where I wasn't physically able to do anything. I got a notepad out of the drawer and a ballpoint pen, I needed to make a list. I liked lists, they made me feel as if as long I had a list everything would be controlled and organized because you just can't go against a list. At least I can't.

Things We'll Need:

1. Transportation

2. Shelter

3. Food and Clothing (maybe)

4. MONEY!

That was all I could think of at the moment, it wasn't much but it was still a start and more could be added later as I went about my day and remembered other things. I walked to the fridge and pulled out the chicken so it could defrost for tonight's dinner, a million thoughts racing through my mind. I tore my list off of the notepad, folding and placing it in my jeans pocket. I dare not think about what would happen if I accidentally left this sitting out somewhere and he saw it. I needed to get away from, but I also needed to get away from him and do it in a way that was legal, but to make sure that he had no access to the three – soon to be four of us.

The rest of the day went by as normally as it would, defrost the chicken, clean the house, play with Mikey and Ben, then feed them. As the evening drew nearer I began to feel a sort of anticipation, I could easily say that I didn't know why, but I knew…and it wasn't because of Mike. I don't care how wrong it sounds, but the truth is the truth, I had a crush on my next door neighbor. And I think that the feeling is mutual, and that fact did some major things to my pulse. Mike came home eventually in his usual nonchalant mood hardly greeting anyone, and grunting at everything. I let him be, not really talking to him, I spent most of my time in the kitchen. Standing at the window because I hadn't seen Edward come home yet. Maybe there was an emergency at the hospital, or maybe there was a work meeting. I don't know, and the more that I thought about it I knew that it wasn't my place to worry or care except as a friend. I think.

Fixing Mike's dinner, I could barely eat any of mine, suddenly losing my appetite. It upset me a little that he didn't make it home tonight. Everyone had already eaten (I nibbled, not that Mike noticed), washed and gone to bed about thirty minutes ago. I was still in the kitchen, I don't know why it was so important for to me for him to eat, but I took the plate that I fixed for him and placed foil on it. I remember what he told me about his spare key, so I used that and let myself in placing it in his refrigerator there was a note pad from earlier sitting on the counter so I wrote him a note letting him know that there was food waiting for him. I walked back out of the patio door, locking it and placing the key back where I got it from and went home. I had a lot to do tomorrow anyway, so I needed as much sleep as I could get.

I didn't get much sleep that night, and Mike woke me up when he rose to get ready for work. I knew that I had to get up as well because I was taking the car today and I was going to have to drop him off. I woke Mikey and Ben got them dressed in warmer clothes, all of us piling into the car we got our day started. Taking Mike to his drop off I idled by the curb waiting for him to get out. He sat there for a minute or so gazing through the window as if lost in thought making the air in the car feel tense. He turned and looked at me tensely, squinting his eyes as if trying to see through me. He said absolutely nothing, just reached into his wallet and handed me what I presumed was enough money to buy groceries with. He got out of the car and before closing it he looked at me once more and said, "You know what to do…and don't be late picking me up." Closing the door, he walked into the building to clock in, I didn't waste time or hesitate, I drove away headed to the grocery store. My head had been in a bit of a fog yesterday morning during breakfast with Mike when he asked me about groceries. I told him that we were low on food, but we weren't as low as what I thought, therefore we didn't need much from the store.

I hadn't seen or heard Edward come home last night while I was dozing off so I was guessing he either hadn't made it home or I just didn't hear if he did. I went to the grocery store and got everything on the list that we needed. I ran into the pharmacist as I was heading back into the parking lot with groceries and my two sleeping bundles. "Good morning Bella." He greeted me. I'd always liked Dr. Greene, he was always so kind and gentle. Always asking the right questions but never prying too much.

"Good morning Dr. Greene," I said in return, "how are you this morning?"

"I'm fine…I'm doing just fine." He smiled, peaking into the cart. "How is that ear infection of my buddy's coming along?"

"It's clearing up fine, it's just taking its own sweet time is all. His temperature has been a little bit higher than what I like, but he's been in high spirits and playful. So that's a major plus."

"Yes, well that body works on its own clock and we can't rush things, no matter how much we want to. We have to let it run its course, but then again there are things to help rush it along so we can get the results that we want." He said, looking pointedly at me. Man was he preaching to the choir or what. "I'll tell you what, give it about a two to three days and if his temperature hasn't gone back to normal you come back and I'll prescribe something to help regulate it." I was about to protest but then his old crinkly smile did me in and I just couldn't say no.

"Alright Dr. Greene, I'll do just that."

He patted and gently squeezed my shoulder making his way inside the store, "See you soon Bella." He said with his back turned and waved at me."

"Same to you." I called back, walking swiftly to the car. For some reason on my way home I was paying more attention to my surroundings and what was in town more than I normally did. I guess that I had more time to do so seeing as how I wasn't having that much luck catching any green lights, just red. There were nifty resale shops that I never noticed, small boutiques and quaint little diners and restaurants. The kinds where if you didn't look hard enough or pay attention to then you'd miss it. I made my way back home putting everything up, closing the cabinet door something shiny through the window caught the corner of my eye and I went to see what it was. Sitting on the patio table was the plate that I had placed in Edward's refrigerator cleaned and covered in foil once again with a post-it-note stuck to it.

Bella, thank you so much for the delicious meal. You really didn't have to do that but I appreciate it anyway. Your kindness knows no bounds, thank you again. -Edward

That one note brought the biggest smile to my face, I was a sentimental person so this note was going into a keepsake box with all of my other special things like birthday and holiday cards. Going back inside and putting the plate away I got the stroller out putting the boys in there, I had given them some baby food granolas that were like breakfast bars for kids and then packed a few snacks for them in a zip-lock bag. I'd decided that I was making a pre-made stir fry for dinner because I didn't know how long we were going to be at Mrs. Cope's house, having promised her that we would come by today. Opening the front door, I heft the stroller out and walked down to her house. Ringing the doorbell, I heard her shout 'come in' and opened her door. I'd only been in here once or twice and it still smelled and looked the same. Warm and cozy with furniture that warm deep tones and was so soft and comfortable for her achy bones. It smelled like coffee, spices (probably for her baked goods), and some type of pain relieving ointment like icy hot or something. "Good morning Mrs. Cope." I said to wherever she was, wanting to make sure that she knew that it was me that she'd called inside.

"Come right in Bella and make yourself comfortable." She yelled from what I presumed was the kitchen. Parking the stroller, I sat down in her corner arm chair making myself comfortable. I could tell that Mikey and Ben were comfortable here because they were already making soft cooing noises and other baby talk. Mrs. Cope came in a few minutes later carrying a tray of various baked goods. I got up to help her but she swatted me away with a smile telling me to sit, stating that I was a guest and I needed to make myself at home. "It's not every day I get to entertain, let me have my fun." She chided with a chuckle.

"Yes ma'am." I said, grabbing a cookie that she offered me.

Glancing over at the boys she clapped her hands together and I just knew that she was about to gush over them. Pulling the stroller closer to her she began kissing their cheeks and rubbing their hair. "Do you mind?" she asked before unbuckling them, before I could finish shaking my head she'd already had them unbuckled and on her lap bouncing away. We chatted for a long time, talking about her, her life with Mr. Cope till he passed away a few years ago. We talked about myself a little and I actually ended up telling her more about myself than I ever thought that I would. She gave me a lot of great and sound advice that I needed more than anything. The conversation was so natural and easy flowing, and comfortable. Aside from Edward, I hadn't had a conversation this comfortable in a very long time. Making me realize how isolated I have been. And believe it or not I even talked about that with Mrs. Cope. She was such a great conversationalist, when she felt as though she getting to a gray area I wasn't exactly comfortable with talking about she quickly changed the subject which I was grateful for.

I think that aside from having me to talk to the most part of her day was playing with Mikey and Ben and the way the two of them were behaving with each other even a blind man could tell that they were enjoying her just as much. They didn't even chuckle like that with me when I play with them! I absolutely loved it, but it made me nostalgic for the grandmother that I no longer had and the fact that they didn't have grandparents either. For a little while we chatted about just no-nonsense things like the weather, our favorite television shows, books and hobbies, you name it. But her favorite hobby of all was couponing, she had all types of cutouts and what not. She even had categorized in binders and notebooks. It was all very organized and highly impressive. She went on for a good while about it telling me about the ins and out, her secret ways of how she can save even more. It was all so complex and intricate, but I was completely enthralled. Even Mikey and Ben crawling around on the floor weaving in and out of her coffee table didn't break my concentration on what she was saying.

I heard a constant pinging noise that did break my attention that did break my attention as she had gone on to her fourth binder of coupons. I tried to continue to concentrate on what she was saying but that pinging just wouldn't stop.

"Mrs. Cope, do you hear that?" I asked.

"Hear what dear?"

"That pinging noise, is it coming from your kitchen?" I wondered, making she forgot that she had something baking. But I didn't smell anything new that could be cooking.

"What ping- Oh!" she exclaimed. "I've gotten so used to ignoring it that I didn't realize it had gone off…. again." she explained as if I should know what she was talking about. When she realized that I didn't she laughed calling herself a silly old woman. She pointed behind her to a corner that I hadn't paid any attention to. "It's that blasted machine that my great niece bought for me last Christmas, she gave it to me talking about how I needed to catch up with the times and how we could catch up on the sky." I laughed listening to her description of Skype, but I didn't dare correct her on it. "it was a useless purchase, I don't like that machine and she never tries to catch up on the sky. Heck in my day when you wanted to catch up with someone you came to their home, called, and wrote letters…but no, not with this generation." She grumbled, I could tell that she was really put out but I said nothing and nodded my head. "Unlike you sweet Bella, you told me that you would come by and visit and that's what you did." She smiled patting my cheek.

Sitting on the floor Ben started to become a bit restless and wiping his eyes and I knew what that meant, Mrs. Cope knew as well. Picking him up and placing him on my lap he still wasn't settled. Patting my thigh and smiling Mrs. Cope looked at me, "Well, I guess this is our cue." She chuckled. Nodding my head, I smiled and agreed with her. "I guess so Mrs. Cope." Packing them up in their stroller and making sure I left no sippy cups behind we made our goodbyes and headed out the door. I had really enjoyed my time with her today, before she could close her door I called out to her, "What is it Bella?" she asked.

Chewing on my bottom lip, a habit that I had yet to break I looked at her smiling. "Do you think we could do it again sometime soon?" I asked hesitantly. Smiling at me with glistening eyes she nodded her head while clearing her throat. "Absolutely dear. Absolutely."

"Okay, well until next time…" I turned to walk away, but then she was the one to call out to me this time.

"Wait just one minute and then I'll let you go." She didn't give me a chance to reply but turned, going back inside leaving her door slightly ajar and then came back a moment later. Hustling down her walkway I decided to meet her halfway. "Here," she handed me a bag that had a padded shoulder strap, I looked at her confused. "Please take this blasted machine, I have absolutely no use for it." Quickly explaining to me. "I don't know how to use it and don't intend to. Heck it even keeps me up half the night sometimes." She said sending it a death glare. I opened my mouth to say something but she quickly hushed me stating that it was one less thing that she had to dust. "you can keep it, throw or give it away I really don't care dear." Once again I tried to say something but she hushed me again. "I mean it." She said sternly, but in a motherly way, she couldn't hold her stern face for long and broke out into a small smile. I smiled back and thanked her, telling her that I would be back by in a day or two. I didn't want to overwhelm the woman.

Making it back home and getting them settled down for a nap I looked at the clock on the microwave. My eyes bugged, four hours! I had been at Mrs. Cope's house for four hours? I could have sworn I had only been there for a little over an hour and a half to two hours but not four. I guess time really does fly by when you are enjoying yourself. I had a little over two hours before I had to pick Mike up from work, since his work was only a seven minute drive away, I didn't want to start dinner until about ten to fifteen minutes before it was time to go and pick him up. That's one thing that I loved the most about pre-made stir-fry's, you just have to add water and let simmer. The house was quiet, already clean, and I had some spare time on my hands, something that whenever I had it I needed to start putting it to use. I thought about the list that I made concerning what we would need in order to get away. It had only been about three or four days since our last altercation and I didn't want another one. My timeline for getting us out of here was more like sooner rather than later. I thought back to how he was this morning when I dropped him off and I just had a strong feeling that something was brewing with him…something I didn't like at all.

I heard that pinging noise again and knowing what it was I went to the laptop bag pulling it out. I set it on the counter and looked at it for the first time, it was new, you could tell that it hadn't been used. A white HP laptop with all of the bells and whistles, rubbing the mouse the screen came to life. I looked to see what all the pinging was about, finding the source of the nuisance I saw that it was an alert to do a software update. What was that niece of hers thinking when she bought this for an elderly woman who clearly hated technology? Some people just didn't think when it came to things like that. Once the update was finished and the home screen came up I tinkered around with it for a while. I had an email address but we didn't have a computer or internet because according to Mike we didn't any use of need for any of that. The houses in this neighborhood were made close together, and apparently someone had their WIFI on and unsecured. I almost didn't click to connect to it simply because I didn't steal WIFI or want to run up someone's service bill. But then I saw the name, "Everyone Is Welcome to This Service 24-7", hmm, must be hippie-like I laughed to myself. After connecting I went to my old email, noticing hundreds upon hundreds of unopened emails. There were some in there that I found very interesting.

But there was one that I found to be way too good to be true, but I just couldn't ignore it. Just looking at it and reading the contents had my eyes watering and my heart doing serious palpitations because of what it could mean for the three of us. I almost couldn't contain my emotions. It seemed as though my glimmer of hope was getting brighter and stronger each day. But if what I was reading was nothing more than some kind of lie, hoax thing I don't know what I would do, or if I could even handle that disappointment. But I wouldn't know unless I tried, looking at the clock at the bottom of the screen in the corner. I clicked on the link within the email. Taking a deep breath, here goes nothing.


Okay guys you know the drill leave me a review and let me know what you think. I was little low on the reviews for the last chapter, so I'm a little iffy as to whether or not I should just end the story now. More review means more chapters! love ya! thanks!