This chapter is set immediately after the previous one, with Chris returning to Lucy's home after rushing from Jem's.
Lucy was lounging on the sofa, eating chocolate spread from the jar with a spoon. She hadn't realised until now just how anxious she was about Chris' involvement in the baby's life. After what had happened with Nate, Chris getting into another relationship with a baby on the way may end up causing more harm than good. Although she knew Jem quite well and knew that he didn't have any issues when it came to children, she wasn't sure what sort of role he would play in the baby's life, if he even had a role at all. She just didn't want to see either of them heartbroken, especially after the near-misses that they had already experienced. Lucy was taken out of her trance by Chris trudging into the living room and running his hands through his hair.
"Hey, how did it go?" Lucy asked in concern for her friend
Chris sighed, "It was great, until I went and stuffed everything up"
Lucy looked surprised, "Wow, you guys haven't done very well so far, have you?" she joked, "What happened?"
"He asked me to stay the night, but I freaked out and took off" he replied irritably
"Why?" Lucy questioned
Chris paused, "As much as I hate to admit it, him being in a wheelchair just got to me"
Lucy was taken aback and Chris exhaled, "I know, I'm a terrible person and I hate how I reacted. The thing is, how he ended up in a wheelchair was the one of the first things that we ever talked about, so I didn't think it would be the elephant in the room"
Lucy considered this, "Yeah, but there's a difference between him telling you how he ended up in there, and dealing with how it affects your relationship"
"But that's the point" Chris argued, "It's not supposed to affect it"
Lucy shook her head, "But clearly it has, so you need to tackle this head-on and deal with it properly, otherwise this relationship is going to be over before it's even begun"
Chris nodded thoughtfully but was conflicted as to what he was supposed to do to fix things. However, taking Lucy's advice into consideration, he realised that he needed to get his feelings out in the open if there was any chance of a relationship with the man that he couldn't get out of his head.
xxx
Although it was quite late, Chris returned to Jem's flat later in the evening to explain himself and make amends. He was surprised when the door opened to reveal the young man from the photo that Chris had seen earlier on.
"Oh, hey" Chris greeted, "You're Zach, right?"
Zach narrowed his eyes, "Yeah, who are you?"
"I'm Chris" he replied nervously
Zach nodded, "Ah, the boyfriend" he realised and stood to the side, "Come in"
Smiling politely, Chris entered and Zach watched him suspiciously. Jem wheeled himself into the living room from the kitchen, carrying a bottle of water as if he was about to go to bed. Glancing up, he was pleasantly surprised to see Chris in front of him.
"Hey" he greeted cautiously, "What are you doing back? I thought you had to work early tomorrow"
Chris shook his head awkwardly and Jem was confused, "Did you forget something?"
"You could say that" Chris murmured before glancing at Zach, "Do you mind if we talk in private?"
Zach shrugged, "That would work if you were somewhere private" he pointed out
Jem shook his head, "Zach, please go to your room so that Chris and I can talk" he instructed his brother slowly
Zach snorted, "Fine" he replied in exasperation before walking off.
The two young men stood in silence for a few moments before Jem asked, "So, what's up?"
Chris swallowed, "Look, I didn't want to leave things the way that they were earlier, so-"
Jem looked puzzled and interrupted him, "Hang on, what way? You told me you had to be at work early tomorrow so you left"
Chris shook his head, "I lied" he revealed, "I panicked when you asked me to stay over, and work was the first excuse I could think of"
"You panicked?" Jem repeated, then sighed, "I was too forward when I invited you to stay over on our first date, wasn't I?"
"No, that's not what it was" Chris assured him fervently
"Then what was it?" he questioned
Chris hesitated before admitting, "It's your wheelchair"
There was a pause as Jem realised what Chris meant, "Oh" he breathed in disappointment
Chris hung his head in shame, "I'm sorry"
Jem shook his head, "Don't worry about it" he reassured him, "You're not the first guy who's had a problem with it"
"I wish I didn't" Chris breathed
Jem nodded, "I know, but I understand that it's difficult to get your head around" he assured Chris, "I'm not sure what I can say to make it easier for you. After all, I've been in a wheelchair almost all my life and never had to learn to adapt, it's the other guys who have had to adapt to me"
Chris nodded, "It's the 'adapting' part I'm worried about it"
Jem shook his head, "It's ok" he reassured him, then smirked, "Though according to the guys I've been with, it's not that much different with me"
Chris chuckled briefly but then looked worried, "It's not just that though" he continued, "It's everything else as well"
"Like what?" Jem asked, unsure whether he really wanted to hear Chris' response
"The support, all the equipment you need" Chris pointed out, gesturing around the room, "I don't want to sound selfish but I don't want to string you along either, I just don't know if I can deal with that on top of getting over my ex and preparing for the baby-"
"Hang on, your ex?" Jem interjected in confusion, having not heard about any of Chris' exes before
Chris nodded slowly, "I broke up with my ex-boyfriend, Nate, the day before I came here" he revealed, "Actually, I probably wouldn't be here now if we hadn't broken up"
"Was it to do with the baby?" he asked gently
Chris nodded, "I knew from day one that he wasn't really on board with it and we compromised as much as we could, but it got to the point where we couldn't compromise anymore"
Jem nodded in understanding, "I'm sorry it didn't work out between you two, but you know I'm ok with it, don't you?"
"Yeah, I do" Chris assured him, "I'm just not sure if I'm ok with this"
Jem was slightly offended, "You mean me? I am pretty independent, I don't need a carer or anything, you know"
Chris shook his head fervently, "No. I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that"
Jem stared at him and realised that Chris was flustered, "Look, I know it's not easy but this wheelchair is only a small part of who I am, it shouldn't affect us"
Chris nodded, "I know, and I'm sorry for freaking out" he replied, "I do want to get to know you - all of you"
"Me too" Jem agreed gently, "I want to see where this goes so I'm happy to take things slow as long as you are, if you're willing to try to look past the wheelchair"
Chris nodded happily, "Yeah, I will"
Jem and Chris smiled at each other for a few moments before Chris glanced at his watch.
"Actually, I should probably head off" Chris began reluctantly, "I don't have to work early tomorrow but it's getting late"
Jem nodded reluctantly, "Well, have a good night" he replied slowly
Chris nodded, "You too" he whispered before bending down to capture his lips in a lingering kiss with the hidden promise of more.
Thanks for reading: I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, and the next one will be up in due course! Anyway - as previously mentioned - if anyone wants to put their own ideas in, I'll definitely take them on board. In the meantime, reviews are always welcome!
