Chapter 4: A Million Lanterns

That night, Sora watched the stars. They illuminated the darkness of night like a million lanterns.

There were many worlds. He knew that because he, the ordinary island boy, of all people, had gotten the chance to travel them. Not only had he gotten to see them, but he also had made so many friends along the way, and he really was grateful for that. His friends were what made him strong. Watching the night sky reminded him of that. And so he watched the stars with a look of admiration and wonder. He had not seen every world. He had only been exposed to a few. There were still so many out there. In other words, there were still so many friends waiting to be made.

Yet still, there seemed to be a hole in his heart in place of something important, something he could not remember. What pained him the most was the fact that he could not, no matter how he tried, remember why his heart ached. It just did. He felt the chain link, the one that had been left behind at the islands, in his pocket and squeezed it tightly.

The pain was difficult for him to understand. It wasn't a pain that he could necessarily describe, but rather a sort of empty sensation as if someone had torn a piece of his heart away.

He continued to watch the stars and was reminded of the many meteor showers that he had watched as a child at his home world. If he closed his eyes, he could just see his younger self looking up at the stars, just as he was in that moment, smiling and wishing for adventure. He could almost imagine it, the cool, island breeze and the soothing sound of the ocean. Beside him stood Riku and that girl. They always seemed to be with him. It was funny. No matter how much he tried, he could never think of a time he was ever really alone.

The warm sense of nostalgia numbed the hollow pain in his heart if even for a second. Without even realizing it, his eyes searched the sky for any trace of a shooting star. But why? He caught himself. He hadn't wished on a shooting star since he was a child.

He thought about a potential wish in case he did come across one. As he pondered, he lifted a gloved hand to his chest. He silently decided that his wish would be to forget the pain in his heart and remember everything. Having to forget, as he concluded, brought nothing but that empty feeling to his heart. He wanted to remember Eraqus and Naminé and anyone else he had already forgotten. That way, his heart would be strong, and he wouldn't have to deal with so much sorrow.

He continued to scan the sky for just one shooting star to make his wish. Alas, the stars did not move. There were many stars, but not a single one that Sora could wish upon. It was the first and only time the stars disappointed him.

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of his master's voice.

"How is your heart holding up, Sora?" asked Eraqus as he approached him. He sounded concerned as he always did when they spoke of Sora's heart.

Sora looked briefly to Eraqus. "I'm alright now," he said softly, though that was a lie. The hurt he felt seemed as if it were consuming his heart slowly. Even so, he did not mention it. Instead he, in an attempt to stay optimistic, grinned as he rested his hands behind his head. "I've been thinking," he said, desperate to change the subject. "Donald and Goofy were with me while I was at Castle Oblivion. They need to get their hearts restored too. What do you think their dreams are like?" For some reason, he seemed amused just thinking about it.

For some time, only the song of crickets sounded.

Eraqus looked to the stars. "You should rest," he said, interrupting the gentle hum of the insects. "Tomorrow, unfortunately, will be no different. You will have to continue to forget more and more things. Some things will make you grieve as you did today, but others will bring you great relief to be rid of. There is no way around it. Forgetting is the only way," he said, as if attempting to remind him.

Sora said nothing.

"And, Sora?" Eraqus added, hesitating slightly. "Please, for my sake and your own, no more tears." He placed a hand on his shoulder. "It is so unlike you, to cry." He smiled wearily down at him.

Sora nodded. "I won't," he promised.

Eraqus's hand slowly slipped away from him. He looked at Sora, and in that moment, thought only of Ventus. "I should apologize," he said quietly, almost as if he were just thinking out loud.

Sora, curious, gave him his full attention. "What for?" he asked.

The master, perhaps surprised that Sora had even heard him at all, shook his head briefly. "It is nothing," he said, looking far away from Sora's wondering gaze.

Sora, out of the blue, asked, "Are you talking about apologizing to your past student?"

Eraqus visibly froze. "Yes," he said, careful to not reveal too much.

Sora smiled warmly. "Ventus. That was his name, right?" he asked, continuing to surprise the man.

"How did you know his name, Sora?" Eraqus questioned, appearing somewhat distressed. He had been so careful never to tell him anything about his past.

Sora thought about it. "I don't really know," he admitted. "I just suddenly thought about it just like the first time I tried to think of your name." He took a pause. "What was he like?"

"He was a very determined young boy," Eraqus said, but Sora was not satisfied with such a vague description.

Eraqus cleared his throat and carefully continued after looking at Sora's face of dissatisfaction. His goal was to describe Ventus in such a way that he didn't have to completely open up to Sora, but he couldn't help it.

"He insisted I call him 'Ven' but I was never fond of nicknames, so he was always just Ventus to me." He closed his eyes as if to imagine him. He felt himself smile. "He was always such a child. When I did accidently refer to him as his desired nickname, he wouldn't let me hear the end of it. And as I mentioned before, he was determined. He would whine about the simplest of training exercises, yet he was always the last of the three to quit anything. He and his friends were inseparable." He shook his head, and his voice softened. "He was the one I hurt the most." He opened his eyes and looked at Sora as if waiting for a response.

Sora appeared captivated by the master's words. "And what about your other two students?" he asked. "What were they like?"

Eraqus did not plan to continue, but decided Sora wouldn't stop asking now that he had already described Ventus.

"My second pupil. Master Aqua." He looked proud just saying her name and title. "She was the most mature out of the three. She knew how to put Terra and Ventus in their place when she needed to. She was graceful and refined, and a wonderful baker I must add. Her magic was more advanced than anything I had ever seen, really. I was and always will be proud of her."

Sora felt touched by how vividly the master remembered them. "And your third student?" he asked.

Eraqus frowned slightly. "Terra," he said, voice cracking. And that was all he said about him for some time before continuing. "...He was the strongest. He took care of Aqua and Ventus at all costs. He teased Ventus often, but it was all in good nature. And when he went too far, he apologized over and over. He really did not enjoy sweets at all, which was a shame because that's all Aqua would bake." He laughed lightly, but then his voice grew sad. "But he was obsessed with power. I tried to reach out to him, but I failed, both as a master and as a father."

Sora frowned as he studied Eraqus. He had never seen him in such a vulnerable state.

As if to let everything out, Eraqus continued to speak of the past. "I didn't only fail Terra. I failed all of them. I wasn't there when they needed me most." He lowered his head. "What kind of master isn't there for his students?"

"Hey," Sora interrupted, smiling faintly. "You shouldn't blame yourself for all that. That isn't what they would want." He spoke as if he had personally known Terra, Aqua, and Ventus.

Eraqus glimpsed at him. "You don't know that, Sora," he said calmly.

Sora's smile widened. "Maybe I don't, but from what I can tell, you all really did care for each other. You have a special place in your heart for them just like they have a special place in theirs for you. You can't stay mad at someone special like that, no matter what they did or didn't do."

Holding back, Eraqus simply said, "I suppose," and the conversation was dropped just like that.

For some time, the master and student stayed like that, watching the motionless stars, until Eraqus proceeded to take his leave.

"Do not stay up too long, Sora," he said distantly. "You had a long day. Rest well." Without waiting for a response, he left.

Sora remained.

It took quite a bit of time after Eraqus left, but there it was. A single star danced across the sky for a fraction of a second.

Sora, who had been feeling the chain link in his pocket, was ready to wish for the pain in heart to one day go away until suddenly stopping himself. His hand slowly let go of the chain link and allowed it to fall to the bottom of his pocket.

He closed his eyes.

The pain in his heart, he decided, was all he had left behind of what he had to forget. Without it, he didn't have a chance of ever remembering anything. As much as he didn't want it, he needed it.

He thought of Eraqus. His pain was different than his. It seemed to be the type of pain that caused sleepless nights and constant what ifs. It hurt Sora, just seeing Eraqus like that. It just wasn't like him.

And so Sora did not wish for the pain in his heart to go away as he originally planned. He did not wish to remember everyone and everything. That, he would have to figure out how to do himself.

His new wish was a simple one, one with all his heart he hoped would come true.

He wished for Eraqus to one day reunite with his students.

After doing so, three faint stars twinkled a bit brighter. It was then when Sora knew that everything would work out in the end as if always does for people who believe it will.