Chapter 7: His Heart

Eraqus's heart was strong. He was, after all, a keyblade master. His duty, both by nature and by title, was to protect the light of the worlds. Once upon a time, in an attempt to protect such light, he had been able to put his own feelings aside and raised his own keyblade against Ventus with the intent to eliminate him. He had done such a thing to prevent the forging of the χ-blade, the ancient weapon that could have disrupted the balance of the worlds, but at what cost?

He was a keyblade master, but when he had almost voluntarily killed his own student, he had allowed himself to forget that he was a father above all else. He had failed Ventus. How could Ventus know that and still choose him as Sora's guide?

When Eraqus first appeared in Sora's dream, he knew that his role was to guide him in the difficult process of memory restoration - nothing more, nothing less. He knew that his former pupil, Ventus, had some sort of connection to Sora, which was why he, someone Sora had never met before, was chosen as his dream guide. He knew that it was not Sora, but Ventus who had picked him for such a role. What he did not know was why. What reason did Ventus have for choosing him?

Since Eraqus's dream self was a direct extraction of Ventus's memories of the true Eraqus, it stood to reason that he knew only what the true Eraqus knew at the time Ventus last saw him. Therefore, after Terra stepped into the battle and sent Ventus away though a dark path, Eraqus did not remember what happened next because he did not know. He did not know what happened to Terra, Aqua, or Ventus or whether or not Xehanort was able to forge the χ-blade at all. He knew nothing, and the uncertainty was gradually consuming his heavy heart.

In the many weeks in which he spent time with Sora, it was becoming more and more impossible for Eraqus to leave the deep, unresolved pain in his heart unaddressed. He needed to know if his students had made it past Xehanort's wrath unharmed. If they hadn't, he would never be able to forgive himself for not being there to protect them.

So when the mysterious figure in black spoke to him of where he could possibly find Ventus, he could not help but to listen.

Eraqus recalled the man's words as he frantically opened a door that led to yet another white room. The room looked identical to the one he had been in before, and the one he been in before that, and before that, and before that. He grew weary. Would he ever find it?

"You know the truth about Castle Oblivion, don't you? It's another version of the world we're in right now." The hooded man spoke to him with exaggerated hand gestures and all.

Eraqus hesitated to respond to such a man, for he sensed a great darkness within him. The man was surely a stray memory of Sora's. "That is correct," he said, speaking cautiously. "I must assume that, in the real world, I have met my demise and Master Aqua transformed the Land of Departure into Castle Oblivion as I instructed her to."

Eraqus continued to rush through the infinite hallways. The stress on his face was evident.

"Well they don't call it Castle Oblivion for nothing! I turned that castle upside down and I still couldn't find the chamber."

"Chamber?"

Aqua had designed the world so that all who entered would be lost to oblivion. None would be able to find their way, except for her. But did that same rule apply to him, the one had who taught her how to transform the world to begin with? He was beginning to worry that it did because he had been searching for so long that he had already lost track of how much time had passed since he arrived.

"Yeah. My boss sent me there to find it. He said some keyblade wielder was in there, in this chamber. Some kid named Ventus."

Eraqus froze, and the man smirked beneath his hood.

The chamber, where was it?

"Ventus...is…in Castle Oblivion?"

"Got it memorized?"

Had Aqua made it so that he would be able to navigate through the castle? Or would he too be doomed to oblivion?

A pause. "But what is he doing in such a place?"

A shrug.

He knew his role. It was to guide Sora.

Eraqus raised his voice in agony. "Is he alone?" He could not stand to picture him, the childish, happy boy, all alone.

The man was cryptic. "Most likely," he said, not bothering to elaborate.

Just when Eraqus was beginning to lose all hope, somehow, through all the searching, he was able to find it.

He ran up a final set of white stairs and faced a grand, locked door decorated with intricately designed chains and heart insignias.

Eraqus was silent.

"You should go to him."

A pause. "I cannot."

"Why's that?"

"My duty is, first and foremost, to Sora, and even if I was prepared to abandon such a duty, I am still bound to this world and cannot leave." He spoke as if he had been rehearsing the lines in his head over and over as if he was trying to convince himself to stay. His duty was to Sora. He could not leave him even if he wanted to.

The hooded man persisted. "Hey, but you said it yourself, didn't you? Castle Oblivion and the world we're in right now… They're the same. You wouldn't really be leaving the world if you went there, would you?"

The master was speechless.

Summoning the keyblade, to a keyblade master such as himself, was as simple as thinking of it and it would appear. He had summoned his keyblade so many times in his life that it became almost as automatic as breathing to him. But when Eraqus attempted to summon it then, facing the door that surely led to the chamber, to Ventus, he suddenly forgot how to make it appear out of the sheer nervousness. His open hand visibly trembled as it awaited the keyblade.

"I cannot leave Sora," Eraqus said, shifting from one foot to the other. "I cannot risk leaving him and breaking his heart."

"Sora's heart won't shatter that easily. You know that."

"I cannot risk it. His heart is in its greatest time of need. He needs someone to guide him at all times."

"...So you're choosing Sora over Ventus then?"

The question brought pain to Eraqus's eyes.

Eraqus scolded himself and forced the keyblade to come. When it did, he aimed it steadily at the huge lock on the door, and a beam of light shot out from the end of it.

"Think about it like this: who needs you more?" The man lost his patience.

The door unlocked.

"I...have a duty to Sora. His heart is fragile and fragmented. I cannot leave him!"

"Oh stop it. You know as much as I do that Ventus is more important to you. Stop doing what you think is right and do what feels right in your heart for once."

Eraqus stood at the open doorway, keyblade vanishing and eyes watering.

"My heart is telling me that I must stay with Sora," Eraqus insisted.

"Oh please."

In the center of the empty room was a single throne. And on that throne sat Ventus, head lowered and eyes closed.

Eraqus was suspicious. "Why are you so insistent I leave Sora at all?"

"Ventus was a friend of mine. I'm worried about him," said the man, almost sarcastically.

"He would never befriend a creature that reeks so much of darkness," Eraqus snapped.

"...Ouch." The man chuckled.

Ventus, at first glance, appeared to be merely sleeping. He looked to be having a pleasant dream, even.

Upon seeing him, Eraqus's heart pounded, and his knees suddenly felt so weak he could barely stand. He wanted to laugh and cry all at once, but in the end, all he could do was smile warmly and wipe away at the water forming in the corners of his eyes. He stood at the doorway, motionless, and watched the gentle rise and fall of Ventus's chest as he breathed. The Ventus before him, he knew, was not the true Ventus just as he was not the true Eraqus, but that meant nothing to him.

"Sora's got a big heart. He'll forgive you even if you do shatter his heart. No big deal, right?"

Eraqus winced. He couldn't bring himself to do something like that to Sora, but how could he leave Ventus lost and alone in a world such as Castle Oblivion? He needed to ensure that, at the very least, one of his students was okay.

Realizing he had just been standing there like a fool, Eraqus walked slowly to the blond's side. He was afraid to touch him as if touching him would make him disappear.

"Ventus," he said, speaking quietly. "It is time...to wake up now." He knelt down in front of him.

"Maybe if you go now, while Sora's asleep, he'll never have to know you left. Because just imagine if he did find out where you were and why you were there. If he were to ever find out that Ventus, the real Ventus, is actually in Castle Oblivion, he would want to go look for him. But to do that, he would have to remember Castle Oblivion upon waking up, wouldn't he? And remind me, oh dutiful dream guide, doesn't he have to forget that world in order to wake up at all?"

"I will not tell Sora about Ventus then," Eraqus said, daring to raise his voice in the darkness of night.

The man rested a hand on his hip. Eraqus was a stubborn one, but he was too. "If you don't go to Ventus right now, I'll tell Sora everything myself. I'll tell him where Ventus is, and I'll tell him that he can never forget Castle Oblivion if he wants to find him."

Ventus did not respond to Eraqus's voice telling him to wake up. This did not concern the keyblade master initially, for Ventus had always been a deep sleeper. He smiled a bit and placed a hand on Ventus's shoulder.

"Ventus," he said, shaking him lightly.

"Hey, I'm not a patient guy. I need you to choose already. I've got things to do, ice-cream to eat, friends to protect. Who's it gonna be? Ventus, or Sora?"

When Ventus continued to sleep, Eraqus shook him more roughly. "Ventus," he said again, voice becoming frantic.

Eraqus, in a flash of bright, white light, wore his armor. He had made his decision.

"Ventus!" Eraqus exclaimed, gripping both of his shoulders tightly.

He left the world on his keyblade glider without saying another word to the hooded man. He did not want to leave Sora, but there was no other choice. If he didn't go to Ventus then, the man would have told Sora everything right then and there; he knew he would. He could tell it was more than a bluff. It was a threat. But could he trust the man to keep quiet about Ventus's location while he was away? He couldn't, really, but he had no other choice. Going to Ventus, to Castle Oblivion, was the only way he could have possibly saved them both.

Eraqus looked at the sleeping boy with a look of anguish. It was then when he realized what he should have upon first seeing him.

There was something missing.

A light.

A light was gone.

Where had it gone?

It was the light that was pure. A light completely devoid of darkness.

It was Ventus's heart. His heart was not there.

"No," Eraqus whispered, unable to believe it.

He shook his head over and over. It couldn't have been happening. Not to Ventus. Not to the boy he always felt so inclined to protect. Not the youngest, most vulnerable of his students. Not Ventus.

Eraqus held the sleeping boy close.

Then the questions began to come. How could such a thing occur? Where was his heart? Why had Aqua left him alone in Castle Oblivion? Why hadn't she or Terra come back for him? Had something happened to them that prevented them from coming for him? He couldn't bear to imagine what could have happened to them.

In an attempt to deny what was true, he continued to tell Ventus to wake up already as if he had all along been playing a cruel joke on him.

"It is time to wake up now, Ventus," he forced out, voice cracking. "Please…"

When Ventus continued to sleep, Eraqus gradually let him go. He had accepted the truth.

He stared at him for some time before he got up from his knees and stood up straight.

There was nothing he, a mere memory in a dream, could do to save the sleeping boy. The only person who had a chance, while slim, was Sora.

But Eraqus would not ask that of him. He couldn't. It was just as the hooded man had said: Sora wouldn't think twice about wanting to save Ventus, and the only real way he'd be able to do that would be to not forget Castle Oblivion.

Eraqus took a long look at Ventus.

He thought of the Ventus from his memories and smiled bitterly.

He recalled a time when Ventus had tried sneaking up on him. He heard him coming a mile away of course, but for Ventus's sake, he had pretended not to notice. He feigned surprise when Ventus had jumped out at him and merely smiled to himself when he heard Ventus gloat to Terra and Aqua about being able to successfully, singlehandedly terrify the master.

He recalled another time when Ventus told him, Terra, and Aqua that he loved them. They were all at the dinner table at the time and it had been very silent as they dined. Out of the blue Ventus went ahead and said it: four little words that surprised everyone. "I love you guys." Terra deemed Ventus "such a kid" and Aqua just laughed softly into her hand when he said it, but Eraqus? Eraqus took the words of affection to heart. He never was able to figure out where such a sudden display of affection came from - perhaps Ventus was just bored, or perhaps he just felt like sharing it - either way, Eraqus held the memory dear to him. It was the first time any of his students told him that they loved him.

He also thought of when Ventus had asked him about his past. The question hit him by surprise and he had refused to answer. He never liked talking about his past. But Ventus had insisted for days that he tell him anything. Eraqus, finally giving in, had told Ventus of his childhood friends, Xehanort and Yen Sid and how the three of them were inseparable until their friendship eventually faded. This made Ventus worry profoundly. What if, he reasoned, he too lost his best friends, friends he thought of as inseparable? But Eraqus somehow managed to persuade Ventus otherwise. He'd always have his friends in his heart, he told him. And Ventus had asked if he would have him in there too. Eraqus told him that he would have to decide that for himself.

And now, Ventus, the Ventus he had so many fond memories of, slept before him unable to wake up.

Eraqus didn't want to leave him all alone, but Sora needed him, and he did not know how long he had been gone. Had he been gone a single night, an entire day, or even longer than that? He couldn't tell.

He spoke softly to Ventus before taking his leave.

"I am sorry, Ventus," he said simply. "But I cannot stay… Please...forgive me."

A pause.

"Sora needs me," he continued quietly, no longer daring to look at him. "I cannot stay. You were the one to choose me as Sora's guide. Surely, you must understand."

Ventus was still.

Eraqus considered telling him that he would return for him in the real world, but how could he? He had already determined that the true Eraqus had not survived. There would be no way to ever see Ventus outside of the dream world.

Eraqus touched Ventus's shoulder lightly. "While we may not meet again, know that you will always be in my heart as I am in yours," he said with a hint of despair. It seemed as though he was attempting to stay strong for Ventus's sake. "I must be off now. Farewell, Ventus. I hope that one day...you will forgive me for all the harm I have brought upon you." His hand remained on the boy's shoulder for what felt like an eternity until he forced himself to take it away and walk back towards the door.

With one final, hopeless glance over his shoulder, Eraqus began to walk away.

Ventus's hand twitched slightly as if trying to reach out towards him, as if to plead for him to stay, but Eraqus was oblivious to such a plea, for he already had his back turned towards him. He continued to walk away until reaching the door. There, he sealed it. The large lock clicked into place, and Eraqus was almost certain that he would never see Ventus again.