*2 months after last update*
(In Moriarty voice) Did you miss me?
Chapter 12: Name Game
Sleeping was easy. Falling asleep never was.
Eraqus sat up from his bed and rubbed his temples. Thoughts of Ventus, alone and vulnerable in that terrible castle, plagued his mind ever since Sora forgot Castle Oblivion earlier that day. In his heart he knew that it was for Sora's own good that he forgot such a place, but a small part of him wished he hadn't. Had there been a way for Sora to keep his memory of the castle, there would have been someone to save Ventus.
The harsh reality was that, without Sora, there was no one. Had Terra or Aqua been in the position to save him, they already would have. That could only mean that something happened to them too, something that prevented them from doing so. If this was true, who would save the three of them?
It should have been him, their master and father, but how could he? He knew that outside of Sora's dream, all he was was a lingering soul absent of a heart and a body.
Unless...
Could Sora really find a way to save his soul? Eraqus believed that the young Keyblade wielder was capable of so much, but to save a person without a body or heart? How could even Sora achieve such a thing?
It was hopeless to hope, and that very concept made sleep very difficult to come that night.
He thought back to the last night he could remember not being able to sleep. It was the night before Terra and Aqua's Mark of Mastery Exam.
He recalled the night vividly. After hours of tossing and turning, he went outside for some fresh air. There, he encountered Ventus, who was having similar problems falling asleep.
But Eraqus, not wanting to admit to his insomnia, claimed that he was just making final preparations for the next day. Still, he could not help but yawn as he sat beside his student.
Ventus, on the other hand, openly admitted to his inability to sleep. Then, he asked Eraqus what would happen if only one of his friends passed the exam as if the question had been bothering him for some time.
Eraqus stressed that the exam itself was not a competition. And then he told him that there was no reason to worry because he believed in his heart that both Terra and Aqua would succeed, even though he had his doubts.
His words comforted the boy. Then, allowing the subject to drop, Ventus took the opportunity to tell Eraqus about how one day he'd become a Keyblade Master too.
Eraqus listened to him and couldn't help but to smile. Just hearing Ventus talk on and on about his dreams strangely relaxed him in a way.
Eventually, when Ventus could talk no more, he yawned and bid the Master goodnight before heading back to bed. Afterwards, Eraqus was able to sleep with no trouble at all. He could never figure out why.
The memory faded and Eraqus found himself right where he started: unable to sleep. He did the only thing he could think to do, which was to go outside.
He took a seat beneath the sea of stars. Everything was as it was on the night before the Mark of Mastery. Hopelessness, fear, and darkness. Oh, how he loathed the darkness.
One thing, despite the similarities, was different.
Ventus was nowhere in sight. He, Eraqus reminded himself bitterly, wasn't having trouble sleeping. He was already fast asleep.
Sora knew her name. He heard Naminé say it once, and he associated it with the girl that would sometimes appear in the background of his dreams. Xion.
That was her name. Sora tested it once or twice, just to hear himself say it.
Xion.
It was nice to know it, but what did it matter? Her name didn't tell him anything about her. She was still a stranger to him, even if he did know what to call her.
If only names said more about a person. Then, Sora would know why he wanted to know everything about her.
He woke up after a long, dreamless night only to realize that it was already late in the afternoon. Why did Eraqus allow him to sleep in? The last time he let him do that was when they first met, and that felt like such a long time ago.
Sora sat on the edge of his bed and stared into space.
Xion. He said it again and again in his mind as if trying to discover some hidden meaning in the syllables. There must have been something he missed.
When he thought of the name "Riku," he felt content. When he thought of his mother and father's name, he felt secure. When he thought of "Donald" and "Goofy" he felt warmth.
But Xion.
It was the name of the stranger, and yet, it made him feel everything the other names did. Content, security, and a touch of warmth.
But it also made him feel light headed and worried, as if Xion, whoever she was, was in trouble. In trouble how? He hadn't the faintest idea. All he knew was her name, after all.
Sora made his way over to the courtyard.
After surveying the area, he saw Eraqus seated in one of the white, concrete seats. He seemed to be meditating.
Although Sora didn't want to interrupt, he walked forward anyway and cheerfully greeted the man.
"Afternoon, Master Eraqus."
The man's eyes opened hesitantly to his greeting. Sora's head tilted to the side slightly upon realizing that Eraqus wasn't meditating at all; he was sleeping.
"Sora," he said, somewhat drowsily. He was apologetic. "I must have lost track of time. Is it afternoon already?"
Sora gave a brief nod. "Yeah," he answered. "But why were you sleeping out here?"
Eraqus cleared his throat. "I came out here for some fresh air last night and I suppose I dozed off." He shifted the conversation back to Sora. "And yourself? How did you sleep? No nightmares?"
Nightmares? Sora thought back to his blank dream. "Not really," he answered honestly.
"I see…" Eraqus said, and it was only then when Sora noticed the deep bags beneath his eyes. "Now then… I am sorry, once again, for letting the day slip by. I should have woken you sooner."
"That's alright," Sora said as he rested his hands behind his head. He looked to be at peace for but a second before excitedly yelling out, "Hey! I have an idea."
"Oh?" asked Eraqus as he hid a yawn behind his hand in hopes that Sora wouldn't mistake his exhaustion with indifference.
Sora hesitated as if thinking twice about it. Eventually, he decided to just blurt it out. "Why don't you give me the day off today?"
Eraqus was shocked to even hear the words come out of his mouth. "Sora," he began, in a tone reserved for lectures.
"Just hear me out!" Sora said, waving his hand at him before he went off.
Eraqus crossed his arms and listened with a judgemental look.
"I don't think you slept well," Sora said. "So you should sleep. And I…don't think I'm ready to forget Naminé yet. I'll be ready tomorrow, but not...not today." He lowered his gaze.
Eraqus stiffened. "I didn't plan for you to forget Naminé today," he said seriously.
Sora looked confused. He looked back up at him. "What? But I think I already forgot everything and everyone else. Didn't I? It's not like I can remember forgetting, but…" he trailed away into a murmur.
Eraqus stood. "Yes, but there's still someone you must remember."
"Huh?"
Eraqus gave a small smile, despite everything. "Your light," he said.
Sora was confused. "What are you talking about?" But his heart fluttered.
"You cannot think of her name?"
"Who?"
"I cannot tell you, but I suppose a hint wouldn't hurt."
"Master Eraqus-"
"Her name starts with a K."
Sora froze.
Names. So many names. Names meant nothing, but names meant everything.
Like Xion. Her name was still on his mind, but now when he thought of her name, he could vaguely imagine another one, one starting with a K...
"You're almost there, Sora," Eraqus remarked kindly. "It's fascinating to see you almost remember her, even when your memories of her are in someone else…" he added, more so to himself than to Sora.
"What are you talking about?" Sora asked, oblivious.
"Once you remember her, you'll be strong enough to forget Naminé. I know you will be," Eraqus went on. "That is why you cannot have the day off. Not today."
Sora looked pensive. "How do I remember her? My light?" he asked.
"I am not sure," Eraqus explained. "But I know that you do."
"Me?" Sora echoed. He shook his head warily.
The Master just nodded. "I know you can," he said reassuringly.
Sora.
"Huh?" Sora asked, scanning the area.
I'm sorry that it took so long for me to do the right thing.
"What is it?" Eraqus, who apparently could not hear the voice, asked his startled pupil.
But now it's time you forget my name and remember hers instead.
Sora looked everywhere in a desperate attempt to find the speaker of the voice. "Where are you?" he called out to no one.
Eraqus, now looking concerned, observed Sora carefully. "Who are you speaking to, Sora?" he asked.
"It's Xion…" Sora said, surprising himself when he realized who it was. He looked visibly shaken. And when he thought of her name, an image of a seashell on the ground flashed before his eyes. "I think I know where to find her," he told Eraqus. "I have to go see her!"
Eraqus looked severely distressed. He looked to be debating internally with himself. "Do what you must," he said once deciding that he trusted him.
Without taking the time to explain himself, Sora ran off.
Sora searched the islands for her. How he got there and how he'd know she'd be there, he'd never know for sure. All he could remember was running, running, running. And the Land of Departure became Destiny Islands. And he searched. Where was she? She should have been there. She had to be.
Already, he had difficulty picturing her face. He clung onto her name.
He kept running until he ran right out of breath. He leaned against the paopu fruit tree and panted. Just a break, he told himself. After a quick break, he'd turn the world upside down until he found her.
After resting for a few moments, he froze when he felt a presence behind him when he least expected it.
Then the shadow of a person spoke. Xion. "Sora." Her voice was polite, yet empty. She rarely spoke in his dreams, but when she did, she sounded so different. Happier. But now it was monotone. Plain. Indifferent with a hint of sadness.
When he heard her say his name he turned to her and stared. Suddenly, he forgot how to speak. The air became dense.
She spoke slowly. "I didn't think...that you would come see me." She lowered her gaze as if she were ashamed.
Sora couldn't help but to smile reassuringly. He spoke softly. "Why wouldn't I?" he asked, as if it was obvious all along that he would come.
She continued to look at the sandy ground. "You're not upset?" she asked with an odd tone, as if she expected him to be upset with her.
"No," Sora answered without thinking to ask why she would wonder that.
She looked up to him. "You'll be...better off now."
Without saying another word, Xion walked past him and took a seat on the curved trunk of the tree. She looked longingly at the ocean.
Questions. So many questions. Sora turned to face her, to ask her his questions. He opened his mouth to speak, but then his head began to ache. He held two hands up to it and groaned.
No. He shook away the pain. It wasn't the head. It never was. Why did he always have to lie to himself?
It was the heart.
His heart. It ached. It had all along.
"Xion," Sora forced out to not forget her name. "What's...happening?"
She didn't turn to look at him. "You'll remember her soon. I'm really sorry...that I took so long to make the right choice." She twiddled with her gloved hands. "It's just...I wasn't ready to leave my friends."
Sora sat beside her. When he did, she visibly jumped.
Xion elaborated. "I took your memories of her. It was time I gave them back. I'm sorry I took so long."
Sora's voice was distant. "I don't understand."
"You need to let go of my name," Xion explained. "That way, you'll be able to remember hers."
Sora looked at her closely. She looked so sad. This made him frown.
"Who are you, Xion?" he asked, for that was all he could think to ask.
This made her smile ironically. "I'm not really sure," she said. She wouldn't look at him. "I always figured that I was just a puppet, but right now...I just don't know."
Sora crossed his arms. "Isn't puppet a bit harsh?" He closed his eyes in thought.
She looked to him with gentle eyes and just shook her head.
Sora looked to the ocean. "You remind me...of someone."
"Who's that?" Xion asked, though she already knew.
"I'm pretty sure that her name starts with a K."
For some time, they sat in silence. Then, she spoke abruptly.
"Sora," Xion said softly. "What will happen to me?" There was a touch of fear in her voice. It sounded as if she had been waiting to ask that question all along.
"I'm not really sure, Xion," Sora admitted. "But if you want, you can stay here until I find a way for you and your friends to be together again."
"What do you mean?"
"You said that you left your friends because it would help me. Isn't it only fair that I help you in some way too?" Sora asked with a smile.
"I...don't think that you understand," Xion clarified. "Once you let go of my name, everyone will forget me. Even my friends. Your memories of her are what make me who I am. When I give them back...there won't be a me to remember."
"Huh?"
Xion managed a forced smile. "I told you I was just a puppet."
There was more silence.
"I don't want you to be forgotten by your friends," Sora said as he jumped out of his seat. He was on the verge of anger. "It's not right."
"Don't you want to remember her?" Xion asked, maintaining her calmness.
Sora took a pause. Starts with a K… His heart ached more than ever before. "Of course I do," he admitted. "More than anything."
"Then forget my name," Xion said. "I'm ready to be forgotten. If I wasn't, I wouldn't be here right now. You've already given me so much. Now I have to give it all back."
Sora looked down. "But…"
"I didn't think you'd come to see me," she said again. "But you did. Thank you, Sora." She smiled genuinely.
Sora spoke hesitantly. "You don't have to thank me," he said. "Actually… Shouldn't I be the one thanking you?"
Xion looked confused. "All I ever did was take her away from you. Why would you thank me?"
"Because you're here now," Sora said simply as he rested his hand on his heart. "Thank you."
Xion's eyes brightened. "I always wondered what you'd be like. Now that I've met you, I can see why…"
"Why what, Xion?"
She looked dreamily to the sunset. "It's nothing, Sora."
Sora looked to the sunset too.
"Isn't it beautiful?" Xion asked in a chilling, eerie voice. And before Sora could turn back to respond, she vanished into thin air.
He turned to the empty seat and felt loneliness in more ways than one.
He stayed at the tree for some time, grasping onto Xion's name for as long as he could in hopes of being able to speak to her again, to tell her just how beautiful the sunset was. But when she never came back, she gradually started slipping away.
When he could no longer say think of her name or picture her face, he absentmindedly thought to reach inside his pocket.
There, he discovered a good luck charm he'd been carrying all along without ever realizing it.
Starts with a K.
He grew eager, yet nervous to think of her name. Names meant nothing, so why did it feel as though remembering her name would mend his heart?
He forced his mind to focus. To think of her name. What was it? It was on the tip of his tongue. It was...it was...
...Kairi.
Kairi. That girl he liked.
His light.
He held the charm carefully now, taking note of its simple, yet intricate design. It was Kairi's lucky charm, and he promised to give it back to her. He remembered now. Kairi. He looked to the sunset and thought of her. Of her voice, of her face, her name.
Sora, Riku, and Kairi. The three of them were connected. Always.
Sora tightened his grip on the charm and thought of them. He gazed at the endless ocean with amazement in his eyes. It wasn't too long ago that he, Riku, and Kairi planned to explore the ends of that ocean and when they thought their world was too small. Compared to other worlds, maybe they were right all along. Maybe the islands were too small.
Sora turned away from the ocean to look at the island itself. Everything was as he remembered it: the trees, the old shack, the secret place. It was small, but there was nothing wrong with that because even while it was small, it was home. And there was nowhere else Sora would rather be.
He looked forward to waking up, to finding Riku and coming back home to Kairi. He rested his hands behind his head, closed his eyes, and imagined what coming home would be like. He had so many stories about other worlds to tell Kairi. And he needed to spar with Riku, just to show him how much stronger he was now. And his parents! What would his parents say? What would he say to them? And what about school? How much homework exactly did he have to make up? He tried not to think about that.
When he eventually opened his eyes again, he was, to say the least, surprised to see someone he hadn't met before by the harbor.
The man, from that angle, looked like a villain from a fairy tale. He was dressed in dark red and had his arms behind his back. His cape flowed gently behind him. He didn't seem to notice Sora, for there was instead a vacant look in his eyes as he stared ahead at the ocean.
Sora approached him, out of sole curiosity.
"Who are you?" he asked when he stood behind him.
The man neglected to respond or even acknowledge him.
Sora persisted. "I'm Sora."
"I am well aware of your name, young man," the man said.
Sora frowned a bit. "Who are you?" he asked a second time.
His voice was calm now. "I suppose that I should inform you now that I am composed only of data, Sora. My name is of little importance."
"Data?"
The man turned to him. "I inputed myself into the deepest depths of your heart in the form of data so that you could one day receive my urgent message."
"You...have something to tell me? Why not just tell me when I wake up?"
The man shook his head. "I have made a great deal of mistakes in my lifetime. By the time you wake up, I will have to pay for those mistakes."
Sora did not understand. His face visibly expressed this.
"When the time comes," the man went on, "you will understand." He gestured to the ocean.
When Sora looked out there, he could faintly see the orange sunlight sparkle on a glass message in a bottle floating distantly on the water. How had he missed it before?
"Is that your message?" Sora asked.
The man nodded once and closed his eyes. "You have a special ability, Sora."
Sora couldn't keep his eyes away from the message in the bottle. "A special...ability?"
The man was straightforward. "You are able to connect with others' hearts."
"What do you mean?"
"I am a man of research. All my life I've been collecting and recording data regarding the ways of the heart. Yet it was in vain I've sought to understand the heart itself. After examining your heart as you slumber, however, I've come to the understanding that I know nothing." He turned away in shame. "The message I am encoding into your heart will, I hope, one day be able to combine my life's work with your ability to connect with others' hearts to bring back those who have been lost or no longer exist."
Sora watched the gentle waves crash against the shore. Those who have been lost or no longer exist? He thought briefly of Eraqus and his students and lowered his head.
"Is there anyway I can see the message now?"
This prompted the man to turn back to look his way with a curious gleam in his eyes. "I am afraid that the message is still in the process of being encoded."
Sora said nothing. He looked disappointed.
"Do you wish to save someone now?" the man asked as if he was impressed and confused all at once.
Sora nodded. "I do. It's kind of a long story, but I need to save someone's soul that has nowhere to go once I wake up."
The very statement surprised the mysterious man. "I know very little of the soul," he admitted. "I once believed that I knew everything of hearts, until I learned of you. But souls… Souls, as far as I am concerned, cannot survive very long on their own without a vessel and a heart, correct?"
Sora nodded. "I know that I need to find something physical and valuable to contain the soul until I can find a way to bring him back entirely, but…" His voice almost cracked. "I thought and thought about it and I couldn't think of anything. I don't know what to do anymore."
The man just laughed briefly as if to conceal a deep, inner devastation. Then, he thought. Once realizing something, he spoke again, words as cold as ice. "Think, Sora. The world as you know it is located in a mere dreamscape, correct?"
Sora nodded.
The man went on. "Are dreams, in any way, shape, or form, physical realms?"
Sora shook his head.
"How then, will you find a physical vessel in a nonphysical realm to contain the soul of the one you want to save?"
Sora shifted his weight from one foot to the other. "I...I don't know," he confessed.
The man sighed inaudibly. "If you cannot think of the answer...nobody can," he stated hopelessly.
A deep frown formed on the boy's face. He stood quietly.
"Perhaps…" the man said eventually after thinking more carefully about it. "...Hm…"
"What is it?" Sora asked eagerly.
"There are a handful of illusions, of dreams, that exist in the physical world if one knows where to search. Shouldn't that very idea imply the existence of the opposite? Of physical objects existing in the world of dreams?" He considered it.
This seemed to make Sora think of something. He grew so excited that there was even a bounce in his step when he responded. "Wait a minute!" he said. "I think I know what I can use!"
The man smiled for the first time. "Is that so?"
Sora nodded. "It's physical. I know it is." He proudly pumped a fist in the air. "But...how will I know if it will be enough to substitute for a heart too?"
The man seemed to sadden. "If I learned anything of the heart in all my years of research, it is that hearts, just as they are homes to great miracles, are homes to great tragedies. If your vessel can provide either of these things - a miracle or a tragedy - I can assure you that it will be enough."
For some time, the two figures stood there in deep contemplation surrounded by the serene sound of the surf.
"You never told me your name," Sora pointed out thoughtfully.
The man scoffed. "Names...mean nothing," he said, almost as if saying his name brought him great shame. Without another word, he took his leave leaving Sora to watch the beauty of the sunset in solitude.
He thought of the physical vessel he had in mind and of what the man said about hearts being homes to either miracles or tragedies.
Would the vessel he had in mind bring about a miracle or a tragedy?
Embraced by the overwhelming beauty of the sunset, he felt his heart sink. It would end only in tragedy.
When Sora eventually reappeared in the Land of Departure, Eraqus was swift to ensure that everything was alright.
Sora's response was vague, but enough nevertheless.
"I remembered Kairi."
Upon hearing such a thing, Eraqus smiled warmly. His response was just as vague, and yet just as enough as Sora's.
"I knew you would."
Eraqus sat in solitude for what he thought would be the remainder of the long, dreary night. That was until he heard Sora's footsteps approach him.
"Are you having trouble sleeping again?"
His voice startled the Master. "Sora. What are you doing awake at this hour?"
"I'm...not tired. But what about you? What are you doing up?"
"I just came out for some fresh air. I'll be heading to bed soon - you should do the same."
Sora sat beside him. "You know, now that I remember Kairi…" He grinned. "I feel like I have to go see her. I told her I'd be back soon, but I don't know. It's been awhile. How long do you think she'd wait?"
Eraqus smiled softly. "I believe there will come a point when she gets tired of waiting and goes out looking for you herself."
This caused Sora to laugh. His laughter was a mixture of nervousness and agreement. "You're right…"
"I can see that you care deeply about her."
Sora nodded. "Of course!"
"You should tell her how you feel."
"What!? I...I don't know what you're talking abo-"
The man laughed lightly. "I don't recall young love being this complicated."
Sora's eyes lit up. "Have you ever been in love, Master Eraqus?" he asked, leaning forward excitedly anticipating a very interesting story.
Eraqus averted his eyes. "That...is a story for another day," he said instead.
"Aw, come on!"
"Now then," Eraqus said instead, and that was that. "How is your heart holding up now that you've recalled your light?"
Sora proudly pounded his chest in response. "I've never felt better!"
"Good," Eraqus muttered sleepily, nodding briefly.
Sora stood. "You know," he said. "You really shouldn't worry."
"I beg your pardon?"
Sora looked to the sky. "...I told you that I'd find a way."
Eraqus tensed when he realized what he was referring to.
"I can't tell you how yet, but it'll work. I know it will." Sora looked to him with a look of melancholy.
"Sora…"
The tone of Sora's voice abruptly changed back to the usual, cheerful twitter, but his eyes looked sad. "Well...tomorrow will be hard. Maybe it's better if I do get some sleep. You get some sleep too. Or maybe not so I can sleep in again tomorrow, I don't know. 'Night, Master Eraqus!"
He walked away before Eraqus could ask any questions.
Eraqus sat there, feeling strangely relaxed just as he did before after speaking with Ventus. He eventually stood.
Sora was right. There was no reason to worry, especially if he really had found a way to save his soul. If Sora really could find a way to save him...that meant that there would be a way to save Terra, Aqua, and Ventus too, eventually.
He walked to his bedroom and prepared for a good night's sleep.
Still, something seemed off. Why did Sora neglect to specify on the vessel he'd chosen? What exactly was it? Why did he seem so sad when he mentioned it?
No. Something was wrong. Perhaps Eraqus's insomnia would last another night.
On his way to his room, Sora stopped abruptly to close his eyes and think. There really was no other way, he told himself. The vessel would bring about a tragedy, but it would save Eraqus's soul.
That would be enough. It had to be. Even if it meant losing another name.
