13: Nobody's Embrace
Naminé spoke calmly, but she appeared visibly unsettled. "Riku, what will you do if you can't defeat Roxas? Will you really...give in to the darkness?"
"I'll do whatever it takes if it means Sora wakes up, Naminé," the blindfolded boy replied distantly as if he already accepted it.
She looked further conflicted. He looked indifferent, yet terrified.
"You have to promise that you won't leave Sora," she said abruptly as if the thought was troubling her all along.
This caught him by surprise. "...What?" he asked simply.
The pale girl rested a hand on the white pod before her. She looked to the sleeping Sora as she spoke to Riku. "He needs you. And I know that you need him too. You can't leave him. Even if you end up using the darkness, you have to be there for him."
"I can't let him down again," he said dryly.
Naminé tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. She took a pause. "He'll forgive you, Riku. I know he will," she said.
Riku shook his head. "I can't ask him to."
Naminé turned to him with a look of utter devastation. "He's your best friend."
Riku turned away and said nothing.
"You'll be there when he wakes up, won't you?" Naminé asked.
Riku frowned as he turned back to her. "Naminé… Can I have a moment alone with him?" He spoke softly, suddenly.
"Sure, but...why?" Naminé asked quietly. She laced her hands together in front of herself nervously.
Riku stiffened. "I want to say goodbye to my best friend."
Naminé sat silently in the computer room as she waited for Riku to finish speaking with the sleeping boy. She was tense.
How would Sora respond to a sudden goodbye from his lifelong friend? Could he handle it? Why did Riku have to be so stubborn? Maybe there was still time to change his mind. Maybe, for Sora's sake, she could find a way to-
Riku, crestfallen, entered the computer room. "Let DiZ know that I left if you see him," he said plainly.
Naminé studied his solemn face. "Riku," she said hesitantly. "You're going to be there when Sora wakes up, no matter what, right?"
Riku turned away. "Take care of him, Naminé." Then, after lifting his hand, a dark corridor appeared before him.
Naminé flinched at the sight of it. What was Riku thinking? He knew what he was getting himself into, didn't he?
Naminé wanted to plead for him to stay, but she could not find the words to ask him to stop.
Neither spoke. Riku entered the corridor and vanished within seconds.
Naminé exhaled sharply. She hadn't realized that she'd been holding her breath that whole time. Then, she jumped up from her seat and ran back to Sora.
She needed to make sure he was okay. She needed to reassure him that Riku didn't really mean to say goodbye. That Riku was going to be alright. That he could overcome the darkness if he had to.
But before she could say anything to Sora, she stopped and froze and gazed at the man studying the sleeping boy in the white room.
"Naminé," the man said distantly. "Where is Riku?"
"You just missed him. He went to fight Roxas," Naminé answered, hugging her arm timidly. The man, DiZ, always made her feel so small, so insignificant.
The man shook his head. "That fool," he remarked. "Surely, he knows what will happen when he proves to be too weak to defeat the Nobody on his own."
"Riku doesn't mind giving in to the darkness if it means Sora wakes up," Naminé stated sadly. "There was no stopping him." She looked down.
"So be it, if it means Sora awakens," DiZ said coldly. He was quick to move on. "How is the boy progressing?"
"He has just one more thing from Castle Oblivion to forget," Naminé said quietly, as if the words hurt to say. "After that, he just needs to forget his dream and become one with Roxas. I can't help him with either of the two… He'll have to do it on his own, but I know that he can."
DiZ nodded. "Very well," he said. "I suppose, then, after today you will no longer be of use, Naminé."
"No…" Naminé said. "I suppose not."
Sora always looked so peaceful when he slept. He slept smiling faintly as if, deep down, he knew that everything would always be okay.
At least, that was Riku always said. But Naminé, she knew better.
She could tell when Sora was hurting. She knew that it pained him to forget so much. She could tell when his smile quivered even the slightest, or when he shook faintly, or when his breathing slowed for even a second.
It hurt her more than anything to see Sora like that. And she had only herself to blame. Why did she have to fall for the Organization's tricks and mess with Sora's memories to begin with? It was all because of her, that his heart was in shambles.
She wouldn't have done it if not for her unbearable loneliness. She was just always so alone. She couldn't take it. All she wanted was someone, Sora?, to be her friend. Sora just had so many friends. Why couldn't she be one of them?
She just briefly shook her head. It was out of the question. It was just as DiZ said before: she was soon to be obsolete.
Naminé smiled weakly and spoke gently.
"Sora, it's almost time for you to forget me."
And Sora's breathing slowed.
"How is he?"
Naminé's hand, which held a brown crayon, momentarily froze upon hearing the stranger's voice. Then she continued to draw in her sketchpad upon realizing who the man was.
"He's almost ready to forget his last memory from Castle Oblivion," Naminé said calmly, but inside she felt sick to her stomach at the very thought of Sora forgetting her.
"And from there?"
"DiZ thinks it'll be a week before he can wake up." She didn't dare to lift her eyes from her drawing.
"I see."
"Riku," she said after placing the book on her lap. "You have to be there for him." She mustered up the courage to look up and saw a tall, hooded figure at the doorway.
"Ansem," the man corrected.
Naminé frowned and said nothing.
The man just chuckled bitterly.
Naminé, in an effort to combat loneliness, drew for hours. She couldn't stand to be in the same room as Sora anymore; just seeing him, knowing that she would just be Nobody to him soon, hurt her in a way she never knew she could be hurt. It was strange: how could an empty vessel like herself feel pain?
Maybe she was mistaken. Maybe she wasn't feeling hurt. How could she? Perhaps it was just nothing at all.
The day was nearing its end. It was almost time. Naminé, however, had yet to accept that when Sora woke up, he wouldn't remember promising her that they would be friends for real.
She thought of Riku and how he said goodbye before. Maybe, she thought, she should have gone and said goodbye to Sora too. Maybe doing that, saying goodbye, would make it easier for both of them.
She entered his room slowly. "Sora," she said distantly.
She walked forward and took a long pause. "You're almost ready to forget me," she continued. "And I just...I wanted to say goodbye."
Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted Sora's hand tremble momentarily. He must have been having as much trouble forgetting her as she was anticipating being the one forgotten.
She could only hope that Sora wasn't alone in his dream. She could only hope that someone, anyone, was there beside him embracing him the way she could not.
She closed her eyes. "I...don't know how to say goodbye," she admitted. "I've never had to before."
There was a ringing sound of silence.
"You'll be better, without me in your heart," Naminé forced out, almost as if in an attempt to persuade herself. "I don't think I ever really belonged in anyone's heart. I'm sorry for forcing myself into yours."
The sleeping boy was still.
She took one last, long look at him.
"You'll forget me," Naminé continued, in a soothing voice. "But I'll never forget you, Sora."
She thought of her own memories of the boy, and of how he cared deeply for her even after finding out what she did to him.
She placed a hand on his pod and smiled. "Thank you, Sora, for everything."
That would have to be her goodbye.
Just that.
Thank you.
It seemed fitting, somehow for her farewell to be a thank you.
Moments later, Naminé saw what Riku always saw: Sora slept as if he hadn't a care in the world.
He had forgotten her.
Still, she stayed with him simply because she could no longer deny that she, for a lack of better words, loved him all along.
A/N: I tried something very different for this chapter. See, throughout this entire story, we saw Sora struggle to forget, but we've never actually seen the struggle someone faced knowing that they're meant to be forgotten. (Xion doesn't really count because she already accepted the concept of being forgotten.) I think both struggles, forgetting and being forgotten, are essential to understand in this story. Hopefully this explains why I chose to write this chapter the way I did focusing on Namine's struggle rather than Sora's.
Additionally, please keep in mind that the last sentence is not implying that Naminé was in love with Sora; she loved him. The two phrases have entirely different meanings. I feel like people tend to just brush over Sora and Namine's relationship when there is just so much depth there.
Please leave your thoughts in the reviews below. I always love to hear them. Also, I apologize for the late update.
