It Takes One to Raise One

Sequel to the incredibly long titled No One Takes Down Hit Girl But Hit Girl. Welcome and thank you for reading and reviewing. Title courtesy of Makokam. Oh my god this chapter's been tough. Can't decide what I want to do with it.

Did you notice that the thugs from Dave and Bethany's encounter mentioned D'Amico? Really? Well, fuck it. I didn't.

Dave recovered from his breakdown and Bethany promised not to shoot anyone without express permission. That promise took a lot of peace making on my part, but it was Dave's graduation day and I wasn't going to let anything spoil it. He was meeting Marty and Todd, whom he hadn't seen outside of school even once since he moved in with me and then party with them after. He'd tried to get out of it, claiming he didn't want to celebrate without me. I told him that he'd earned it and that I wouldn't get upset as long as he remembered what would happen to him if he so much as had naughty thoughts about another girl. It involved his testicles, fishing line and razor blades and was pretty creative, if I do say so myself. He got the message immediately and agreed to behave himself. I think that the color drawing that I'd stuck on the fridge helped.

I was going to the ceremony also. But I wasn't crazy enough to be in the audience, even with a good disguise. I'd been around the kids in school long enough that one of them was bound to ID me. And then there'd be screaming and it would fuck up the whole thing. So, I'd watch from the rafters and then hurry off to pick up Bethany. The babysitter said she would charge quadruple overtime if I didn't get there before 10.

Yes, babysitter. There was no way I was leaving Bethany home alone. There was also no way I was bringing her up to the rafters with me. So, that left us with needing a babysitter. The term had pissed Bethany off something fierce when we told her but hey, that's what they're called. Dave and I had wracked our brains about who we could ask. The people that knew about us and wouldn't freak out over me being in town or where the hell Bethany had come from were few. Marty would be at graduation, so he was out of course. Same for Katie, even if I was willing to trust the bitch, which I wasn't. We'd lost track of a lot of the folks from Justice Forever. The 'Finding Tommy' couple would probably have done it, but I think Bethany would have been more than they could handle. Plus, and I know this is harsh, but they'd already lost one kid. How could they guarantee they wouldn't lose another? Finally, Dave came up with the idea of calling Miranda. You know, 'Night Bitch'.

"You want to call who?" I asked. "Your previous fuck bunny? Holy shit, Dave! Wait, you just want to plug up her leak again, don't you?"

"Of course not! It's not like that." He said defensively. "Plus, your description of what would happen to me if I did would be enough to keep any guy faithful, even if he didn't love you as much as I love you." It was clear from my look that I wasn't buying the 'I love you' argument so he continued. "Also, I see the picture you drew to illustrate it every time I get a glass of milk from the fridge. Look, we don't have a lot of options and she's good with kids."

"How do you know…"

He interrupted. "She teaches ballet. Which means dealing with kids, right? " I nodded to indicate that he actually had a point. "Plus, I talked with her some while you were out of town. Trust me. That beating took her hard. Even though Chris 'limp dick' D'Amico couldn't actually rape her, he still did some nasty shit. Whatever spark there was between us was gone when I visited her in the hospital and even if there had still been something, I wouldn't be interested now." He grinned at me impishly. "I mean, I'm the only guy in the world who gets to fuck Hit Girl."

OK. I smiled like a moron at that one. I guess flattery did have its place. "OK, fine. Call her."

And, so, it had been arranged with very little fuss. Miranda apparently needed the money and was happy to help out in a way that didn't expose her to any more danger. Needed it pretty bad actually; I think she realized how desperate we were and she drove a very hard bargain. Bethany was happy because her 'babysitter' used to be a hero and had promised to teach her some ballet as well, for an extra fee. A big extra fee. Ah, fuck it. I guess she's kind of family. And if I just offered her money without some way for her to earn it, she'd be insulted. So, it was win-win. Plus, I'd listened in on Dave's phone conversation with her and made sure he wasn't planning some illicit meeting with her. I mean, I trusted him but that didn't mean I'd gone stupid.

Dave had already left for the ceremony and I'd taken his car to drop off Bethany at Miranda's. We'd decided the Safe House was better kept a secret, even from an old Justice Forever member. I got Bethany settled and then found a place not too far away from the auditorium to park. I snuck behind the building and changed into my costume. I know it wasn't really necessary, but it helped me to remember that I was part of something bigger than a high school graduation. Or, at least I kept telling myself that. However, I'd left the hardware behind because tonight would be peaceful. I climbed to the roof and jimmied open a skylight. About twenty minutes and a lot of wriggling had me safely ensconced high above the stage. Everyone filed in and the ceremony started. There were the typical boring speeches, including the valedictorian breaking down and crying about how much she loved everyone and would miss them. Surprisingly, she really had loved just about everyone; she was widely known as the school slut and I was frankly impressed that she'd studied enough to be valedictorian too. I mean seriously, where did she find the time?

Finally, they started calling names. The names kind of echoed up to me. 'Abrams, James…. Adams, Bradley… Afney, Bella…' I kind of spaced out thinking about how nice it would have been to hear Macready, Mindy shortly after Lizewski, Dave. I mean, I know we weren't in the same year, but it's my daydream, god damnit. I also considered whether I could have had them announce 'Girl, Hit' but decided that would be a bit too much even for me.

The voice droned on. 'Currie, Caroline… Davidson, Dav…. The voice was cut off by a gunshot that startled me so much I almost fell off the beam.

I looked down and the guy who had been reading out the names was on the ground, clutching at his chest and kind of gurgling. A thug with a .357 stood over him. The crowd was diving for cover, which was kind of funny because all they had were folding chairs and each other to hide behind. The fat people got really popular.

"Stay where you are!" The shooter shouted at the audience. The bastard then walked calmly up to the microphone and spoke in a respectful voice. "D'Amico, Chris." The name bounced around me in the rafters while I followed his gaze to see a huge titted girl in a slutty nurse costume pushing a wheelchair up toward the stage. Six thugs flanked it, dressed up to look like those red guys guarding the Emperor in the end of Return of the Jedi. And, there in all his apparent glory, sat Chris. He was wearing some black robe/cowl thing that totally didn't work for someone who was effectively sitting down. This was a new level of mental for him. The insanity apparent in his expression pretty much radiated off of him. They reached the stage and I heard his voice for the first time.

"Why the fuck isn't there a ramp? Isn't everything supposed to be handicap accessible? I mean, what is wrong with you people!" He took a breath. "Oh, fuck it." Chris looked at his 'guards'. "Well? What are you waiting for? Carry me up the fucking stairs!"

Then they manhandled his wheelchair up the stairs in a routine that could have come out of a Mel Brooks movie. When he was finally settled, they handed him the microphone from the podium. I'd sat there in shock ever since I'd seen Chris. I mean, the mother fucker… I mean the Mother Fucker was still alive? I mean, what the fuck? What the mother fuck… My brain wasn't working

I wasted the next couple of minutes on a silent swearing fit over the fact that yet again, I hadn't brought a gun when I needed one. From now on, I was even taking a gun with me into the shower. Before I could recover, they'd gotten Chris positioned in front of the podium and given him the microphone. I finally got over my fit and started crawling along the beams to get closer to the stage. I hadn't brought any weapons but the .357 that the thug was waving around would be a nice addition to my collection. Especially after I used it to blow Chris's head off. I could put it on a plaque.

The gun, not his head. I mean, I wanted him dead, but…. Gross!

"Nice try, Bitches! No one ignores The Motherfucker! This is my graduation day! I am no longer a super villain! I am a MASTER VILLIAN!" Seriously, you could almost hear the capital letters in his voice. Chris looked over the crowd with glee and a total lack of sanity. I glanced down at the crowed again and saw Marty and Todd holding Dave down. I couldn't fault them; If Dave charged in now he'd just end up dead.

I saw at least five people in the crowd hiding and talking frantically into their cell phones. My heart sank. While some of them were probably calling loved ones and saying goodbye, at least one of them would be calling 911. Not what I wanted but, well, we don't always get what we want. I figured I had at most 10 minutes to get Dave and I out of here before the place would be surrounded by a SWAT team. I mean, Dave wasn't in costume but they pretty much knew who he was at this point so he'd end up in jail for sure. I pulled a wireless headset out of my pocket and, after tuning it to police frequencies, put it in my ear. Yep. Sure as shit. The dispatchers were yelling about the SWAT team being 4 minutes out. I had to give them credit; it was a pretty impressive response time. I went back to mouthing swear words like there was no tomorrow. The problem of course was that I wouldn't have time to kill Chris and escape safely. FUCK! Oh well. I had to accept it and get to work. Right before I went down the ladder to the stage, I pulled my mask straighter and checked my wig. If the world was going to see Hit Girl again, I was not going to look like shit.

"None of you are worthy to be in the same room with me!" Chris screamed. "But you have been granted the chance to witness my GLORY! And now, I leave you to tell the world!" With that, he dropped the mic like some fucking rapper. Plus, who the fuck did he think he was, Jesus? The guards got him back down the stairs and moving down the aisle about the same time that I reached the floor.

He glanced over and saw a few of the audience members recording him with their camera phones. His voice shifted back to old wimp Chris. "Hey guys, thanks a lot! That's totally what I was talking about. I really appreciate you recording this. Could you please e-mail those to all four of the news stations? Oh, and, like, could you edit out the part with the stairs? I can trust you to do that, right?" After a long moment, they nodded at him dumbly.

I was quietly working my way around the crowd when I heard a scream. I glanced toward the sound and saw that Brooke had managed to spot me. How many ways was that girl going to fuck up my life? That scream did a perfect job of getting people's attention, but when she followed it by shouting "It's Hit Girl!" the room went nuts.

I guess my reputation for lethality preceded me. But, even if I did kill civilians, I didn't have a gun so I couldn't have killed more than twenty, maybe thirty at the most. But every single person in that room decided to run. They were more afraid of me than they were the thugs with guns. The world is apparently filled with pussies. I think I heard Chris screaming about wanting to kill me himself over the din, but his goons had obviously read the writing on the wall. They just picked him up bodily and booked it out the doors. In my heart, I knew there was no way that I could catch him.

I saw Dave trying to fight his way toward me through the crowd, but I gestured that he should leave with the rest of them and ran back to climb back up into the rafters. God my arms were getting tired. Not even squirrels have to climb up and down this much. I figured I still had time though. A couple of thousand people running screaming out of the building should be enough of a distraction for me to get away. I'd lost my headset in all of the confusion but had to still be ahead of the SWAT teams. I leaped from beam to beam until I got to the roof access and pulled myself through. I ran across the roof and swung onto the fire escape. Last ladder for tonight, I thought. Now to pick up Bethany and figure out a plan to put Chris down for good.

(Section with SWAT guy deleted because it just didn't do what I want)