It Takes One to Raise One
Sequel to the incredibly long titled No One Takes Down Hit Girl But Hit Girl. Welcome and thank you for reading and reviewing. Title courtesy of Makokam. I'll try to update this more often, really. Reviews Rock! Thank you so much for taking the time to write them.
Post make up sex, we headed back down to the conference room Marcus had reserved so all of us would have a space to visit and talk without having to be careful about what we said. The sex had been loving, but not that spectacular since my knees still really hurt. Most of the really fun sexual positions use your knees in some way. Oh well. It was like old home week. Not that I'm entirely sure what the fuck that phrase means, but I think it was referring to spending time with old friends. Who cares what we called it, I guess. We had a lot of fun. I asked Miranda about actually dressing up as Night Bitch and she said that since they were in California, it was OK. It didn't bring the nightmares back. And if it did, well, she said she wouldn't need Dave to stay with her. Marty was sharing her room and while she was kind of sparse on details, it was very clear that they were getting close. With that in mind, I decided not to kick Marty in the balls for laughing so hard at me when I thought there was a wedding. He might be needing them later and who was I to deny Miranda some happiness?
Especially some happiness that separated her from Dave. I mean, I wasn't really jealous over the whole 'standing guard thing', but, fuck it all, he was mine! And as you've probably figured out, I absolutely suck at sharing.
Bethany was in heaven. She'd had multiple days of Disneyland to get her going and now she was at a super hero party. She even had her own costume. It was pink and light blue, and way too cutesy to use in the field, but she liked it. It was a little plain though, because we still hadn't given her a super hero name. She kept coming up with ideas, but she wasn't any more original than Todd had been when he came up with 'Ass Kicker', Dave and I had agreed not to say yes to any of them yet.
I suppose we really didn't need to be in costume. We all knew who each other was. I had been the only one with even a hint of a secret identity left but the news reports after the attack at the cemetery had very clearly spelled out my name.
Hey! I just realized that since I'm under 18, they weren't supposed to give out my name! Some news reporter is going to have to get a visit from me to discuss journalistic ethics. Well that or discuss literally removing his head from his ass….
We visited in little groups at first. I got to spend quality time with Night Bitch, Finding Tommy, and Dr. Gravity. I kind of avoided Marcus. It wasn't that I didn't want to talk to him, it was that I had more to say than I could manage over finger foods. I'd find him from time to time and give him a little hug though. I think he understood. Finally, we gathered all together and drank a toast to the Colonel. And then one to everyone who had died in the big battle at Chris's hideout. By this point Bethany was asleep on Marcus's shoulder. Everyone agreed it was time to go. We agreed to keep in better contact going forward but I think that was as much 'togetherness' as we could handle at one time. We decided that Miranda would take Bethany tomorrow, Dave and Marty would spend some time together since they'd never gotten to celebrate Graduation, and that Marcus and I would finally get to sit down and talk.
The next day after breakfast I met Marcus at a local museum. Theme parks weren't really his thing but he did his best thinking and talking while moving, so it seemed the best way to go. Plus, no one really pay attention to anyone else at a museum so we could talk safely.
"So, Min... I know I've been overreacting to a lot of things for the last year. Do you understand why? That I didn't want to hurt you but just wanted to keep you safe?" Marcus started when things finally got too quiet.
"I do. It's OK Marcus. Having Bethany around has given me some perspective on what it means to take care of someone." I explained, and went on to give him the entire story of how she'd joined Dave and I. Well, I left out how she shot someone in the head. Marcus is great and all, but he isn't really emotionally ready to accept every single part of what we do. It's kind of like being involved with someone who cleans septic tanks. You hope they had a good day, but if they didn't, you REALLY don't want the details.
"So … What are your plans? For Bethany I mean?" He sounded like he was going to going to go into lecture mode so I figured being honest was the best thing to stop that.
"Honestly? I don't exactly know. I'm not going to give her up. And I'm not going to put her in the foster system or some shit like that. So, we'll figure it out day by day."
"Mindy, she deserves better than 'day by day'. She deserves a life. A mother."
"I know. And even though my life isn't exactly suited to motherhood, I'm going to make it work."
"You think you're going to be a mom? Mindy, you're sixteen. And that's a big word to trot out. And that's a little girl's life that we're talking about. Are you sure you're prepared for what that's going to take?"
"Nope." I said. "I'm not sure and, at times, I'm completely terrified."
"Well, at least you've got that part right." He replied. "You should be scared. The best parents are always at least a little bit scared. It makes sure that you don't stop paying attention. Are you going to raise her to be…" He looked me up and down.
"Am I going to raise her to be me? Is there something wrong who that Marcus? Are you ashamed of me?"
"You know I'm not ashamed. I'm proud of who you are, how strong you are. I wish you'd chosen a different 'profession', but well, you do make a difference in the world. But your life isn't for everyone, hon. It isn't for most of the world."
"I hope she doesn't have to live my life, lose any more people, or that sort of thing. But I will teach her to be strong. I'll make sure she knows how to defend herself."
Marcus interrupted. "But it's not safe…"
"Marcus? Her life has never been safer then it is now. Maybe it still isn't as safe as some kid living in a suburb, but given where she was before she met me, it's a thousand times better."
"OK, I'll grant that being with you is better than following her mom from crackhead to crackhead, but she could have a normal life." Marcus seemed obsessed with that idea of normal.
"What the fuck is normal, Marcus? You've said that Daddy stole my childhood. Well, the world stole hers before I even met her. So she and I have that in common. And it's too late now for 'normal'. She's been abused, mentally, physically… She's seen things that regular people should never have to see. If you put her with 'normal' parents she'd never survive. I'm going to show her that she can be a strong girl and a strong woman, even in a world that is shit."
Marcus tried again. "Yes, but maybe I could…"
"You? Raise her? There's no fucking way you could raise her." I shot back.
"I raised you!" Marcus replied.
"No, you didn't!" My voice got a little loud on that and a few people glanced toward us. So we stayed quiet for a few minutes until we found a more isolated place to talk. I know I'd been a little cruel with that last comment so I tried to calm down.
"You helped, Marcus. You did. And I love you for it so much that when that real wedding happens some day, I really do want you to walk me down the aisle. But Daddy was really the person who made me who I am. I love you, and I love everything you've done for me. But if I left her with you, Bethany would only run away."
"How do you know she won't run away from you?" Marcus asked.
"Oh, she will." I said. "She'll run away. She's been though too much shit and watched too many people make the wrong decisions. One day she'll panic and out the window she'll go. I'm kind of surprised it hasn't happened already."
"You seem kind of calm about it."
"I'm not sure calm is the right word, but, Marcus? I understand her. More than you could. And so I'll be able to do something that you couldn't."
"And that is?" He replied.
"I'll be able to find her."
Marcus didn't seem to have a reply to that, so we let the subject drop. We walked though a few more galleries and then he found a new subject.
Dave.
