A/N: Man, this chapter sure was fun to write—maybe I had too much fun because this turned out much longer than I planned. I apologize for the massive word count. Let's just consider this a 3-chapters-in-1 special, 'kay? This was a nice break away from the main setting of the story and it was fun exploring the personalities of Levi and Mikasa in their younger days. We only saw Mikasa's parents and her life with them for a brief period in canon, so it was really interesting to add to their story with my own personal twist. And even though this is intended to be a happy chapter, it was quite depressing to imagine how Mikasa's life used to be. It helped me realize just how much she had lost in the canon story—in other words, I'm drowning in feels. OTL
Anyway, enjoy the Ackerman family reunion!
Levi stood beneath the cloudless sky, squinting up at the blinding sun. The humid summer wind swayed the pines and tugged at his clothing, his hair fitful and windblown. The air smelled differently than it did in the filthy cramped streets of the underground—the stench of pines and pollen proved to be quite the refreshing treat for his lungs.
Two vultures circled overhead, looping around in an endless set pattern. There must be a dead animal near by, he thought—no, he hoped, but he then remembered this wasn't the underground where the corpses of the starved or slayed were left to be feasted upon by the hungry feral animals. He's standing in the middle of the wilderness, far from any of the villages and towns. It felt almost peaceful.
The tall blades of grass danced in the infinite meadows like waves in a stream, switching directions now and then. The drone of cicada cries blended with the whispering rustle of the grass. A small log cabin stood out against the backdrop of the huddled pines and mountains—a serene setting that Levi previously only saw in paintings.
The land was kept naturally preserved and untouched by humans except for the cleared patch of land the cabin sat on top of. Skirting the house was a garden filled with vegetables and flowers painted with colors Levi has never even seen before. In comparison with the colorless, gloomy setting where he came from, this place blinded him with clear vivid colors and natural perfumes. The air didn't reek of mold or garbage, the air sprayed with a natural pine, grass and freshly bloomed flowers.
While giving himself a second to stretched out his stiff legs from the long carriage ride, he studied the man-made cabin in the distance. The structure was small but built strong, made to survive the rough storms that were likely attracted to this woodsy area.
The members who live in that home were currently strangers to Levi. Today he is to meet them for the first time.
On the long trip here, Kenny had prepped him. Told him how to behave, how to speak, and what to say while meeting his brother and his family. Levi replayed his instructions to prepare himself before embarking onward.
"Don't screw this up," Kenny had warned. "They have a daughter and I'm going to see to it that you two marry—this way, you can carry on my name and pass down children with my blood."
Levi had pledged his obedience without dispute and they carried on with their quiet trip through the countryside, but on the inside Levi's mind went uproariously wild.
If he didn't feel pressured enough about making a good impression on Kenny's family before, he did then. Kenny had scowled at the idea of his brother's daughter marrying someone else and losing her maiden name to some unworthy suitor. In Kenny's eyes, only Levi was suitable for her; his pride, his successor. Levi is the only one who could pass down Kenny's legacy and his name, and his brother's daughter is the only one who could pass down the blood. In Kenny's eyes, they were destined to be together; a match made in heaven—or rather, they were both convenient tools he could take full advantage of.
There was a lot of pressure placed on Levi today and a lot to lose if this does not go in Kenny's favor. If Levi doesn't prove to them that he's good enough for their daughter, Levi had a swelling fear that Kenny would cut his losses and kill him, deeming him worthless if he can't pass down children of the same name to surpass them both. A lot was on the line right now and even though Kenny called it a family reunion, Levi felt like he was being dragged to a trial to be judged.
Now that he was here, all of this worry hit him at once. During their trip he had pondered it but the new experiences he faced on the road partially eased his tension now and then, right before he felt he would have a nervous breakdown.
They had passed through forest and farmlands, long bridges over sparkling lakes and plains of rolling green hills and treacherous cliffs. Lively, cramped cities and ruins of abandoned villages with only ghostly presences left behind. When night would fall, they stayed in rowdy inns and Levi would tell himself he'd rest in the wagon the next day and opt for venturing through the cities and villages he never visited before, and tried food he'd never tasted and every person was a stranger. Levi had never witnessed such sights before in his life. He spent most of his life living in the slums. From each town they visited, he'd hear common conversation—a few townfolks would comment in a whisper of how very small their world was, and how they would love to see the world outside the walls—but the world he traveled through seemed overwhelming vast to him already. If all he saw on the journey was only a small percentage of what this world had to offer, he couldn't even imagine what kind of wonders and sights awaited outside the walls.
This trip had been enthralling, but now that the journey had ended and they arrived to their destination, Levi felt homesick from the road. The high of traveling wore off and now he had an unsettling mission ahead of him.
Kenny said he was proud to show Levi off somewhere along the long trip, and he felt strangely happy at that and earned himself a little more confidence. They might not be his family, but fooling himself into thinking they are his might make this visit bearable—he only hoped they weren't like his mentor, but since the man grumbled about how perfect, yet air-headed his brother was, Levi was almost convinced that their apples fell from completely different branches off the tree.
Whether they're good people or not didn't matter in the end, though. Levi was forced to tag along regardless and do as Kenny commanded. There was no such thing as choice or opinion in this matter. It was a direct order and Levi knew better to disobey a command, but during other occasions Levi was sure he could follow through and accomplished anything Kenny asked of him—but this time, doubt had sunken its fangs around him. He felt trapped, helpless. Never had he ever felt so out of place and unwelcomed in his life. He felt less shame during his days of a homeless street rat begging for scraps, before Kenny brought him in like a stray cat.
By the time they arrived and reality set in, he knew all efforts to fool himself into getting through this were in vain—he didn't belong here. This wasn't his family, even if he pretended the fact still remained. He's never been very good at make-believe, after all, such concepts were stolen from him long before his childhood even began.
Levi is just some street rat that was taken in from the curb and house-trained like a dog. Bitterly, he figured that Kenny was just proud to show him off because he would be like an obedient pet that would entertain his family by making him do tricks and obey every command. Suddenly, that little confidence he built up decomposed and left him with a rotting feeling in his stomach.
"Quit lollygagging and move, runt," Kenny rasped and lumbered past him, giving him a broad nudge before leading the way.
Levi silently and promptly followed and stuck close to his mentor as he knocked his knuckles hard against the door. After a jingling click, Levi perked his attention up. The door swished open and an energy Levi never felt before poured out.
A peppy man with a smile as bright as this summer afternoon bid their entry. "Kenny! It's been too long!" The man exclaimed and patted the man's shoulder welcomely. Kenny rolled his neck, scowling like a grouch as he forced out a decent greeting. Levi hurled his neck back reflexively, his eyes widening on the strange man.
This is... his brother?
Switching his perspective between the men as they made small talk under the threshold, Levi broodily gawked. Not only do they not share a feature in common, but he already deducted they were as opposite as the sun and moon.
Levi made a quick visual scan around after they were welcomed inside. The home was simple and small, albeit more spacious and clean than his which he could appreciate since he'll be staying here. If Kenny's whole family was as filthy as him, Levi strongly believed he wouldn't survive the week. Along the wall a mantel of sorts was exhibited, decorated with ornaments and bordered with a language Levi's eyes never witnessed before. The script looked complicated, but detailed like a miniature masterpiece.
After his inspected was complete he kept his head low, eyes planted on the floor where they should be as introductions were made. He heard a woman's voice, but didn't look up to her. Despite living in the countryside, she had kind manners and introduced herself as proper as a Sina resident.
Levi heard his name brought up last.
"This midget here is Levi," Kenny thumped his large hand on his shoulder, "the street rat I took in and gave a name."
The woman believed to be his brother's wife let in a subtle gasp. Levi glinted up in time to see her furrow her brows—shooting her brother-in-law a disapproving glare, seemingly not at all impressed with his degrading phrasing.
By the time she looked back down at Levi, she washed the disdain from her face and smiled kindly. They made eye contact and in that very moment Levi could tell from first glance that she was a gentle-hearted woman.
"It's nice to meet you. Could I get you anything, Levi? A drink or something to eat?"
He shook his head quietly, peeking at her for only a moment more. A rueful smile appeared on the woman's face. He returned his eyes to the floor.
Mrs. Ackerman is probably the most beautiful woman he's ever seen—not that he saw a lot of attractive women in his daily life to compare back to. He lives in the slums and the only women he see's are dirty whores and thugs with skin infections, rat nest hair and missing teeth, but she was one of a kind; he could tell by her unique features that he had never saw replicated in any other human before.
However, when Levi's eyes were low, he caught sight of a wave of Mrs. Ackerman's dress. Behind her laid hidden a miniature copy of her. The little clone spied on him with a strikingly stunning silver eye.
Levi called back his claim. Mrs. Ackerman wasn't as rare as he thought...because there's a little girl hiding behind her dress that looked exactly like her.
"Oh, there you are." The woman jumped a little from the sudden pull on her dress. She looked down to her little replica, combing her fingers through her hair to sooth the shaking child. "Did you want to say hello to our guests?"
The small child shook her head fiercely with a mute pout on her lips. As she buried her face in the fabrics of her mother's dress, her father chuckled proudly and fell back into one of the dining seats. "My little girl has always been the shy type."
Kenny made a miffed grumble, his eyes were thoroughly inspecting the both of them. "Looks like we were both cursed with introverted children."
Mrs. Ackerman gave Kenny another long, hard glare. Levi got the impression she didn't like her husband's brother very much. Not only is she beautiful, but she's a smart woman too.
Hiding behind her mothers dress still, the tiny girl with intrigued eyes peeked out a little further as her mother properly introduced her. "This is Mikasa, our daughter."
Levi internally repeated her name and printed the letters into his mind. Mikasa. He liked the sound of it. It sounded foreign and fresh compared to all the other boring names he hears day after day. The syllables stuck in his head like a catchy song.
"A little scrawny, don't you think?" Kenny commented, brashly. He was never the type of man who kept his thoughts silent, and he also never dulled the sharp edge his words often had.
Levi wish he could have shut him up by punching him in the face right about now and put an end to his useless commentary, but they weren't home. He couldn't. He settled for clenching his fist.
"She eats like a growing piglet but won't gain an ounce," her father explained. Not all parents want their kid to be war machines like him. To Levi, Mikasa looked fine for her age, very tiny and frail with paler skin than his own from sun-neglect, but her complexion had a healthy glow, indicating that she wasn't sickly and that it was just naturally that fine, like a porcelain doll. With her dark eyes and thick black lashes contrasting against that bright skin, an overall stunning combination was created. Her hair flowed straight and wispy like a pony's mane, black like her mother's.
Now that he stole another glance at Mr. Ackerman, he could safely deduce that Mikasa didn't take after her father a bit. He also looked nothing like Kenny. Whoever he took after didn't carry a very potent gene.
Levi stepped forward and knelt to a child's level, trying to approach the frightened girl carefully like a timid animal that might run away any second. He knew people were often afraid of him, but he didn't mean to scare others off. His face just naturally looked like that, and with a big guy like Kenny looming over her she must be shaking in her boots.
"I'm Levi," he offered.
She didn't reply, only quailed more. Her mother pat her head and spoke in her place, "She rarely meets new people. It takes her a while to warm up to others."
He nodded up to her mother. Levi could relate. Suddenly, with a curious gleam in Mikasa's fixated eyes, she stepped out from the safety of her mother's dress and toddled over to Levi, fumbling nervously as she fiddled with her stubby fingers. She reached out and looked at Levi for consent before ruffling up the cravat around his neck. She giggled a little, happy like a cat flicking a toy with its paw.
"I like your scarf," her voice landed soft on his ears. A smile not only appeared on her lips, but the mirth displayed in her eyes and voice as well.
Since she so kindly gave him a genuine smile...he returned it—but his mouth ached afterward. It didn't feel natural at all and he cringed to think of how odd it must've looked. He doesn't remember the last time he smiled. Sometimes he thought he forgotten how to. All he does is struggle to survive down in the slums and train until he's exhausted. Kenny's no joy to be with and his jokes suck, so he found himself having no reason to smile—until now. This little girl is the most purest person he's ever witnessed. With a background of tainted individuals back home, seeing Mikasa was like finding a gleaming gem buried in dirt.
She's the first that ever complicated his cravat, too. Kenny laughs and teases him about pretending to be high-class; he said it's like putting rubies on a plastic crown. But Levi liked his fashion sense—he didn't want to dress in rags or like a typical peasant. He wanted to appear presentable.
"Oh," Mrs. Ackerman sounded in surprised delight as she watched her daughter interact with the young man, "I never saw Mikasa warm up to anyone that fast."
"Hmph. Good..." Kenny nodded, observing the scene. Levi heard the satisfaction in his tone—he lucked out. Mikasa was already showing a liking to him and that settled his nerves slightly. That's something Levi mulled about endlessly. He never dealt with children before, yet Kenny urged him to get on her good side because if her parents saw their daughter getting along with him there would be a better chance of them considering the marriage proposal when it's presented.
"Mikasa," her father called, "come over here and say hello to your uncle Kenny." The girl looked over the line of Levi's shoulder to the man hulking behind—and her hair stuck up in an instant like a scared kitten and she ducked for cover, blocking her sight from the man with Levi.
"Hah!" Mr. Ackerman roared with a knee slap, "I think it might take a little longer for her to get friendly with you."
"Oh well," he huffed, looking slightly offended. "I was never great with children anyway," Kenny took a load off and sat in the dining chair where his brother sat, and his wife soon joined them.
"You would be if you had some children of your own. I wasn't great with kids either before I had Mikasa, now I'm father of the year! Ain't that right honey?"
"Whatever you say, dear." Mrs. Ackerman chuckled in her hand. They looked like a happy couple that never fought or said harsh words to one another. Their spousal arguments probably consisted of friendly teasing and playfulness. It must be nice to live in a quiet, tranquil family setting like that.
"You need to tie the knot and make some of your own children!" Mr. Ackerman exclaimed, trying to spark motivation in his brother. His wife gave a doubtful look, struggling to keep her expression polite but she obviously found the likelihood of that slim, and she couldn't be closer to the mark. The war happening on her face was almost amusing.
As if Kenny could find a woman insane enough to put up with him. If a young man like Levi found it hell living with that lunatic, a woman wouldn't last through the honeymoon. The sole reason why Kenny dragged Levi in off the street was to make a son out of him; and it wasn't out of the goodness of his heart, that's for damn sure. He saw potential in him and wanted to use him for his own benefit. Levi, of course, benefited from the set up as well, but that doesn't take away from the fact that Kenny is a difficult man to live with. He'll never find a wife with his current attitude—and since the man is also too stubborn and too set in his ways he's more likely to die and take his habits to the grave before changing. This will never change and he knew this. He gave up and settled for adopting a suitable progeny, or perhaps a prodigy, as Kenny liked to call him.
The Ackerman's showered them with all the hospitality they could offer. Mr. Ackerman helped with their luggage and spoiled the horses with a shaded spot with food and water to reward them after their long journey. Mrs. Ackerman set up the guest room and then began to prepare dinner. Once everyone was settled and all belongings found a place, Kenny and his brother caught up with the years with booze outside, their tipsy laughs and bickering chatter heard from the open kitchen window.
As for Levi, he nursed a cool glass of iced tea at the dining table. Compared to the never ending chatter outside, inside the house felt still and quite aside from the occasional creak from the old log walls. That itself made Levi uncomfortable. At least Kenny had his own blood to talk to, he didn't know what to say to the woman of the home—but then, a running beat sounded against the floorboards.
Bright eyed and refreshed, Mikasa ran in with a pile of papers in hand.
"Did you have a good nap, sweetie?" Her mother asked. The little girl answered cheerfully as she climbed up on the neighboring chair beside Levi.
Her mother left her stew to simmer and stepped near the dining table, wiping her hand on a rag as she peered down at her daughter scribbling on her sprawled out papers. A determined look was held on her young features.
"Look at you, studying away on your own. What a good girl."
The praise filtered oddly through Levi's ears, but he supposed that was something normal parents do. Kenny praises him too, sometimes, now that he thought about it, but only if he scored perfectly in his training.
"Lee-vee...?"
He turned to Mikasa, because he could've sworn he was being addressed. But her eyes laid no where near him—the tip of her quill pen tapped the paper as she looked up. "Lee...vee...La...L...E..."
Levi cocked his head at the string of sounds and letters. He stared at her, eyes filled with silent question. He looked to her mother, but she shared his confusion and questioned her daughter.
"What are you up to?"
"I'm trying to sound out his name..." she said with a defeated pout, pointing subtly to Levi beside her.
"It's Levi," he corrected.
"Le...vi," she repeated, slowly. "How do you spell that?"
"Uh…" he found the sudden question strange, but still spelled it out for her. Her mother noticed his confusion and filled him in after he recited every letter.
"She mastered the alphabet recently and she's always asking how everything is spelled."
"Oh, I see," he cornered his eyes on her work. She rewrote his name a few times each. Her handwriting was neat, a little big and bold, but neat.
"And I'm learning Kana—I'm getting good at that too, right mama?"
"Ah, yes, you are. In no time you'll be fluent enough to move on to Kanji."
"...?" Levi puzzled over the unfamiliar words. Mrs. Ackerman filled him in again.
"Unfortunately it's a dead language now because Mikasa and I are the last of our lineage..." her lip twitched up, sadly. "But I don't want to let go of the language my people once had—it would be a shame if all that culture was lost, so I'm teaching it too Mikasa."
Levi had heard of other languages existing, but he couldn't say he's ever met anyone who knew something other than the common tongue that everyone in the walls spoke.
"I'll show you, it's really easy!" Mikasa scripted down a few characters that looked like a scribble to him.
ミカサ
"That's how you spell my name. Each symbol has a syllable, get it? You try to write it," she passed the pen to him. After balking a moment he relented and gave it a shot. It didn't look anything close to hers; it was uneven and wonky, it looked as if he made up his own written language.
"So you're saying each one of these letters represent a sound, just like the common language? That doesn't seem too hard to remember."
"That's what I thought too until mama showed me Kanji. My head really hurt afterward," she held her temples as if the memory alone caused her pains. Levi found himself intrigued by this. He looked to her mother silently and she already had an answer waiting for him.
"It's just another part of the written language. Some find it hard, but if you keep at it and study every day, the characters will lodge in your brain before you know it."
"I only know a few—" Mikasa seemed eager to show off, but she had to tap the pen on her lips and recall first, then quickly scribbled down before she would forget.
家族
"That means family," she pointed out the characters that took up half the page, her finger tracing along the strokes. "There's Kanji for every expression or phrase you can think of."
Levi took back what he said before. "That seems complicated to remember."
"After some practice it's simple," Mrs. Ackerman started, "but it's easier to learn when you're young. That's why Mikasa is absorbing two languages at the same time with ease."
That's true—kids suck up knowledge like thirsty roots absorbing rain in soil. It was interesting how children learned so much at a young age: how to walk, talk, write...but they never actually remember receiving those lessons into adulthood. Even though you use those teachings everyday, the origin of them are always blurry or lost completely as you age.
"That smells good!" The man of the house sashayed his way inside—or rather, tripped into the house. It seemed him and Kenny lost themselves in a tad too much booze and memories. Kenny followed after, removing his hat and hanging it on a peg in the wall. As playful chatter was made between husband and wife, Kenny hooked a glance over to Mikasa...and then to Levi. His chin dipped down, Levi read it as a show of approval.
Levi wasn't doing much, nor was he going out of his way to make good impressions. Mikasa made this mission easy for him; she's a sweet girl unlike the brats he grew up with on the streets. She also took an immediate liking to him for a reason he will never understand, which again made his job easier. If things keep going as smoothly as they were, then there's a good chance that Mikasa's parents will accept Kenny's proposal when its presented—and if they do, Mikasa will become his wife once she reaches the age of a woman.
There was a sudden flutter in his heart. He couldn't tell whether it manifested from nervousness or excitement.
~x~
Levi woke before the sun the next morning, as he normally did. Even though he's technically on vacation, he still couldn't break the strict habits he formed over the years. When Levi made exit out of the guest room Kenny was snoring like a sleeping bear, likely still exhausted from the long trip. He made sure to click the door shut quietly and step away as if weightless so he wouldn't wake him or anyone else up.
Some time alone will do him good, before he has to begin round two and make good impressions on the Ackerman's—just the thought alone made him want to go back to bed.
The kitchen was dark, not yet naturally lit by the sun. He felt around and luckily stumbled upon the stove without hurting himself, which illuminated enough of light to work with once the range fired red hot.
He filled the kettle with water, placed it on the burning stove top and idled close by so he could grab the pot before it whistled the whole house awake. Once the steam blew out into a thicker flow, he took that as his cue to remove it from the heat. He set out a cup and his own tea that he had brought along, and after searching a few containers, he found the sugar cubes and plopped them into the steaming liquid.
Just as he rose his mug to his lips, smelling the soothing aroma, he heard the squeak of a door opening and all he could do was utter a sharp: "Shit."
He closed his eyes, the steam rising from the cup toasted his outer lids. He hoped to have some quiet time alone before starting the new day, but by the sound of footfalls drawing near, that just wasn't happening.
Though—he soon noted how light and soft the footsteps were and he figured out who it was before they even whipped around the corner—and jumped back around just as fast.
A little shadow, scarcely outlined in the darkness, peeled back out. "Oh, it's you. You scared me." Mikasa whispered alertly.
"Did I wake you up?" he asked as she stepped out from the safety of the wall.
He was about to apologize before she said, "Nu-uh," a yawn broke free as she wiped the sleep from her eyes. "I always wake up early, way before mama and papa." She lifted her chin over the lip of the table, her fingers clutching at the wood. "What are you drinking?"
"Tea," he finally took the first, long waited sip.
"Can I have some?"
"...Sure." He stood again to pour her a cup and Mikasa followed him around like the shadow he lacked in the lightless room.
After setting her all up, he sat back down to enjoy his tea before it went cold. "Be careful," he abruptly warned, "it's hot."
She blew into the steam before taking a sip from her cup that she held with both of her small hands. "That tastes really good. Way better than the yucky coffee papa drinks," she made a sour face, cringing at the memory. "Do you drink coffee?"
"Sometimes." She's quite talkative in the morning, isn't she? Levi tried to imagine how she would behave after a cup of coffee. Tea had some caffeine to it as well, so he might've just dug his own grave by giving her some.
"Can I ask you something?" He had the feeling it wouldn't be the last question this morning. He nodded.
"Why do you hold your cup like that?"
He held up his cup higher, glancing and noting how the tip of his fingers clawed at the rim. It's been a custom quirk of his for so long that he often forgets it isn't a normal way of holding a cup. He doesn't recall anyone pointing out this particular habit, only Kenny, but only when he teased him about it because he bared witness to the origin of the habit and laughed about it until he was in tears.
"When I was a few years older than you, I had an unfortunate accident. The handle of my cup snapped off and I spilled the hot tea all over myself. I never wanted that to happened again, so I started holding it like this."
"Ah," Mikasa let the story brew into her mind, taking a cautious sip. "That must have hurt."
The questions continued with no end in sight. With every answer their cups drained and a light hue of azure tinted the interior of the cabin. From the window, the color of the sky slowly lightened and soon the sun would rise high above the mountains.
Mikasa asked him about where he came from and what his neighborhood back home was like—she was very eager to hear about it, but Levi had trouble finding positive features he could bring up. Everything about the underground didn't feel appropriate to mention to a small child, but she seemed satisfied with just learning about the underground city and the towns and shops and residents and neighbors that ran it.
She must get a little lonely living in the middle of nowhere. There aren't any nearby towns to visit or kids her age to mingle with. Thankfully, she had doting parents giving her constant company. They're probably better influences on her in the long run, anyway. She's better off here, away from the filth of the slums, the greed and corruption of Sina and overall control or lack of control held in all the other cities.
People either live as peasants that just about got by, live as criminals who endanger the innocent, or they live fear of those with power, and the people with power are more corrupt than some of the thugs he came to know in the underground. Good people like Mikasa, her mother and father deserve the safety of being sheltered by isolation. No harm will ever befall them here, they have each other and they'll always be safe; these woods will shield them. That's something many residents in these walls cannot say with certainty.
"It's almost time," Mikasa said suddenly, cutting off her own next question. She lifted off her chair and as she headed for the door, she tugged Levi to his feet with a yank of his sleeve. He finished off his tea in a quick, stiff gulp and slammed it down quickly and followed her haste.
The front door open and they stepped outside.
The field that carpeted around the cabin was coated with morning dew, the wetness sprinkled with golden glitter. Humid fog seeped low and cold. Beyond that, the sight of twin mountains in the distance stood strong, split apart by radiating light squeezing between. The new dawn birthed, bleeding its glow throughout the lands and sky, burning through the clouds and leftover stars.
The early morning sunbeams burned Levi's eyes, but the thought of looking away or even blinking right now never once crossed his mind.
"Isn't it pretty?" Mikasa beamed up with a smile brighter than the sun, swinging their conjoined hands happily.
"Yeah." Levi never saw anything like it. In the underground the sun is a foreign concept, but here he is in the countryside with the fresh morning rays basting him. The nature lit all around. The flowers in the garden vivid under the fresh amber glow. The birds taking their first flight after their slumber. The tall trees greeting the new day.
"Do you watch the sunrise every morning?" he asked her.
"Uh huh," a little gasped giggle sounded from her, and as an afterthought she added, "but I never got to watch it with anyone else before. My parents always sleep for another hour or two after dawn. You're the first person I watched the sunrise with."
And Levi felt pretty honored to be gifted that privilege. They stood out a little longer in silence, marveling at the view, but soon Levi felt himself being swept back inside by a little tug. He followed without resisting, but not before he stole one more long stare over his shoulder at the breathtaking scenery.
"You're an adult, so you're allowed to use stoves, right?" Mikasa had ran off ahead, scuffling through the cabinets.
"Yeah..." Levi closed the door behind him with a slow click. He rode up a brow up skeptically, watching her dig around the kitchen as she pulled out a pan, bowls, and utensils. "Where are you going with this?"
"Well I was thinking..." she started shyly, "we should make breakfast for everyone. Can you cook?"
"I could," whether he could cook well was the real question, though. He often cooked for Kenny, but the man never was much of a picky eater. So long as Levi didn't serve him anything raw or burnt he never complained.
"Then let's get started!"
Levi spent more time cleaning up Mikasa's messes than prepping. She cracked eggs into the bowl and pieces of the shell joined the gooey pool. She picked out the fragments and flicked them aside—and they disappeared in an instant when a sponge too fast to follow swiped them away. She began mixing, the sticky mix whirling over the lip, and again, the mess was cleaned just as fast as it was made. Being so concentrated on her work, she did not notice Levi hovering close behind, detecting the messes before she even made them. She brought the mixed eggs to the stove and poured them into the pan. "Your turn."
Before he turned on the range, she proved to be quite the helper as she gathered a spatula, but there was a thoughtful frown on her lips when she returned.
"Hm. This omelet needs more special ingredients."
"Like what?"
"Hm. Oh, I know, a tomato!" She rushed over to the corner of the room, where the vegetables were stored in baskets, only to find it empty. She sighed at the little inconvenience "Wait here, I'll go pick one fresh from the garden."
Mikasa rushed out the door and Levi craned his neck to watch her from the window. She inspected every tomato, looking for the most flawless one on the vine that she could harvest.
Is this what living in a normal household felt like? He'd trade his right arm to wake up every morning to this routine. Maybe—when Mikasa gets older and they wed it could always be like this. They could wake up early, drink tea together and watch the sun rise, then prepare breakfast for their children and tend to a beautiful garden...
He shook his head. The engagement isn't even a go yet. The last thing he should do is set his hopes on this. Although—thinking of returning to the hard life in the underground and struggling everyday made him cringe, but he might be able to get through it if he knew this lifestyle was waiting for him at the end of the long dark tunnel. Damnit. He couldn't help it it. It's too late now. He was looking forward to it.
"Here, you cut it." Mikasa returned with a freshly picked tomato, "I'm not allowed to touch knives."
Mikasa got to work on smearing her 'special jam' on the toast, using the back of a spoon because she is a good girl that obeys her parents even when they're not around.
Looks like they're both very obedient and well-behaved. Levi is the same way when it comes to Kenny, but there are times, especially recently, that he found himself disagreeing with his methods and even someone as loyal as himself will disobey him time to time because of it.
Kenny did so much for him—and the man definitely did ask for a lot in return, but Levi has always been eager to follow him and do everything he asked of him without question because he saved him as a child and offered him shelter, food and clothing. Levi hoped the negative feelings about Kenny were just a phase of rebellion that would pass. Without him, he wouldn't really have anything and the thought of disobeying him the wrong way one day scared the shit out of him—
The eggs bubbled, then solidified with sizzling and hisses as he pondered... When was it again that he started to fear Kenny?
"Watch the eggs! You're going to burn them!" Mikasa warned and with a jolt Levi removed the pan from the flame just in time. Shelving the dreary thoughts for another time, he preoccupied himself with preparing the rest of breakfast. When they were just about done and setting up the table, Levi perked up at the sound of a stifled yawn and aching grumbles drawing near.
Mikasa did not notice the signs and it was too late when she whirled around, unprepared, with Kenny towering before her—sleepy and not yet seeing straight, but that didn't make him any less intimidating.
"...!"
Levi had never witnessed a standoff between a human and a Titan before, but with the way Mikasa looked up quailing at Kenny, it simulated a similar image.
"Good morning, Kenny," Levi recited dryly.
"What's so damn good about it?" He stomped away from Mikasa and found himself a seat. Levi slammed down a mug in front of him, pouring in the coffee that just finished brewing.
"You've been telling that damn joke for ten years," Levi reminded him, grinding his teeth, "I'm never going to laugh at it, you know."
Instead, Kenny laughed hoarsely. Obviously, the man didn't repeat the joke in hopes of inducing laughter from Levi, he did it to give himself a chuckle because nothing made Kenny Ackerman laugh more than an irritated Levi.
"I don't get the joke either..." Mikasa's voice sounded smaller than her. "Why wouldn't the morning be good?"
"Ah, it must be great to be that naïve, don't you agree, Levi?"
"There's nothing profitable about being naïve."
"Says the pot to the kettle."
Levi will admit he's still naïve in ways he shouldn't be at his age. That, however, is mainly Kenny's fault for being a terrible role model. The man puts too much time and effort into training and odd life lessons that he neglects the important details Levi should've been taught by now: like how babies were made, for one. Being twenty years old and still not knowing how to make one of those damn things was frustrating to no end. Every time Levi inquired Kenny about it, the man would make a mad dash, saying he's not mentally prepared to discuss the birds and the bees—then he would return home drunk, blabbing on about planting seeds and putting nectar on a rose bud, then pass out. Levi gave up and opt for asking his new friends Isabel and Farlan about it once he reached a more personal level with them.
"...What are you talking about? Riddles?"
"Forget it," Levi's head already felt like a damn riddle just trying to ponder the wonders of how babies were made. Kenny wanted him to make a son with Mikasa so they could pass down the Ackerman name, but how does he expect him to do that if he doesn't even know how to get the son in her belly?
"Levi?" Mikasa's concerned voice jarred him back to reality and he shook off the thought of birds, bees, nectar and seeds and served up breakfast for everyone present. They started without Mikasa's parents since they would be sleeping n a while longer. The meal went along quiet and undisturbed until Kenny stirred up the calm flow.
"Do you like Levi, dear niece?"
She nodded her head shyly after some hesitation.
"Do you like Kenny?" Levi asked her with deliberate twitting. He wouldn't last this entire week if he didn't push at Kenny's buttons at least once or twice.
Agitated, the man shimmed in his chair when no answer was given and Levi almost felt satisfied enough to smirk, but Mikasa belatedly asked her uncle, "Are you Levi's papa?"
"No," Levi answered for him, "he only raised me."
"Oh, do you get along like me and my papa?"
Kenny rumbled so much with laughter that Levi thought he'd spill his coffee on himself. And he half wished he did.
"Maybe I should start doting on you and call you sweetie-pie," Kenny japed at his successor, but not even a flicker of amusement showed on Levi.
"Don't even joke about that. It's creepy."
Left over laughter dispersed and Kenny tried to mimic a serious tone of voice, "Would you hand me the salt, sweetie-pie?"
Levi whipped his head at him with a pointed finger. "I warned you, now I can't be held responsible for what happens next."
"Oho, I'm shaking, you're so intimating sweeti—"
Mikasa had come between them, daringly close to the monsters mouth and muffled that God awful nickname just in time by plugging a piece of toast in his mouth, "No fighting!" she demanded so fiercely that Levi misplaced his anger.
The room settled for only a brief moment, unfortunately.
"This jam is disgusting," Kenny spat the toast out finicky. A solid kick under the table rattled the silverware.
"What the—?!"
"Mikasa made that." Levi hissed gratingly at Kenny.
"That doesn't change the fact that it's d—"
Another thump, another rattle.
"—Delicious." Levi insisted, even though the jam did have a little sour aftertaste to it. A teaspoon of sugar would probably fix that, but he wouldn't dare tamper with something Mikasa worked hard on.
"Do you too always bicker like this?" she folded her little arms, looking between them with a worrisome expression.
"Not always. If the stars are aligned right we get along." Levi said. Mikasa giggled but probably didn't understand his figure of speech.
"It has nothing to do with stars," Kenny bit, chewing as he spoke, "You're just an ungrateful brat."
"And you're a miserable and selfish old man with not an ounce of sympathy for others."
"See how he tries to make me look bad?" he confided with his niece, trying to recruit her to his side.
Mikasa let in a little exhausted breath, playing referee between them must be tiring. She let herself mull over a solution. "How about this—Kenny, stop teasing him and think before you speak. Levi, don't be a brat and talk back to your elders. Could you both do that?"
"I don't know, could King Flitz take down a Titan on his own?"
Kenny caught his sarcasm with a glower. He returned a quip with a personal twist. "Could Levi not clean for a damn day without emotionally breaking down?"
Levi's voice became higher, indirected at Kenny but intended for him. "Could Kenny ever clean up after himself and not make a mess out of everything his dirty hands touch?"
"Boys." Mikasa interrupted the banter. "You guys are hopeless."
"Nah. If anything, hope is the only thing Levi and I have common," Kenny reflected.
Levi considered his words. Both of them wanted change—a better life; a way out of the struggling and hardships. They pinned their hopes on a way out and they tried just about everything and anything to reach that light at the end of the dark, cavernous tunnel. Even if they had to claw their way to the top and fight and beg and cheat to get through everything blocking their path they would because they wanted to get out of the filthy underground and live a good life.
When it came to bettering their future, they didn't argue or disagree while discussing plans. They took their future seriously because they both had the same goal in mind. Even enemies will come together to form alliances when they share a similar objective. This is why Levi and Kenny worked well together. They fought, they pushed each others buttons, and sometimes they wanted to kill each other, but at the end of the day they both saw the same future because they both shared the same hope.
That's why they came all the way here, so Kenny could ensure Levi's future and even his own long after he's dead.
Levi looked down at Mikasa, and Kenny did as well. When they broke apart from her, their eyes made contact. The glimmer of playful anger previously stored in their eyes had faded. The graveness of their mission presented itself again and they did not argue for the rest of the day.
~x~
Around midday when the sun was high and brutal, Levi found himself idling outside, wiping the sweat from his brow as the heat drained his energy before he even began the eventful journey ahead of him.
During breakfast, when Mikasa's parents finally woke, Levi tried to show the only manners he owned and had offered to earn his keep here. He asked if any chores or tasked needed help completing, and Mikasa's father asked Levi to accompany him during his hunting trek today.
Now he stood outside waiting for Mr. Ackerman to prepare and escort him to the forest. He was just about to meet up with him, but he was welcomed with another presence when the front door swung open.
Mikasa ran out, attired in an airy white summer dress that reached down to her ankles. Her small feet were strapped in weaved sandals and her head was topped with a floppy straw hat to protect her from the baking sun.
Levi didn't own clothing appropriate for summer temperatures. It's normally nippy in the underground regardless of the season. He settled for a thin buttoned blouse and rolled the cuffs up to his elbows.
The heat was thick and suffocating. It felt as if the sky draped a thick wool blanket over him, toasting him until he was seared and burnt. The fabric of his blouse soon stuck to his chest as if boiling glue was poured over him.
Mikasa and her parents appeared unaffected by the heat. Mikasa frolicked with bouncing energy, her father had not a bead of sweat on him even while he tended to laboring tasked, and her mother tended to cleaning, cooking and gardening without a tad of heat fatigue. Since they're native to these lands their body must've created an immunity for the weather. Levi will never get used to it during his week here, likewise with Kenny who complained about the heat ever since he arrived, but admittedly the warmness toasting Levi's bones did feel comforting in a way.
"Do you like my dress?" Mikasa's glowed livelier than the sun shining down on them, but unlike the sun, her aura wasn't unpleasant. She gave a twirl, Levi nodded when she stumbled back to face him, a little dizzy, but she managed to never break her smile.
"Did your mother make it?"
"Yup! And I did the embroidery." There was a design that bordered the helm of the collar; it was quite complicated and the fact that a five year old had committed herself to the task was quite impressive. He would never have the patience to use needle and thread to make something like that. "Not bad. You did a nice job."
The compliment made her liven up, her cheeks powered with pink. In an excited burst, she grabbed his hand and capered forward, chasing after her father once he made exit out the house.
"You're coming too?" He asked his daughter, a musket propped up on his shoulder.
"Yup, I wanna go hunting with you guys!"
"Oh yeah? You never seem interested any other time... If I didn't know better, I'd say you were tagging along because Levi is coming. Hm. I think someone might have a little crush~" Her father winked back at his daughter on the spot and chucked at Levi, expecting agreement from him to further tease his child, but Levi wouldn't dare say a word. Not after he checked on Mikasa's reaction and saw how much that cute face of hers flared in anger.
With puffed out rosy cheeks and clenched fist, she replied with, "T-That isn't true! Stop embarrassing me, papa!"
They followed Mr. Ackerman's trail of carefree laughter down the winding windswept path into the forest. The branches bowed above them, the green roofs creating shade with only a few scarce glowing sun spots splotched here and there. The temperature dropped a few degrees cooler under the shade and Levi was able to quit his squinting from the unforgiving sun rays.
When they trekked deeper, the path was not paved anymore; nature had spread over the ground. The trail had become an obstacle course, making them weary of every step as they maneuvered deeper.
The trees rustled from the forest as it let out a sleepy yawn. A woodpecker drummed its beak into bark as Mr. Ackerman hummed an upbeat tune. Levi looked down to his side, checking if little Mikasa was keeping up with their pace. Distracted by the nature around her and every sound the forest made, she did not notice his eyes on her.
A strange feeling over came him—if he looked away, or even blinked too long, he feared she would disappear and lose herself in the untraceable depths of the woods. Because of that uneasy feeling, he did not let his eyes linger off her very long. Every few seconds he found himself corner-glancing at her. Even though he still sensed her there, he had to look. A strange feeling indeed. He never saw such a protective side of himself show its face in the open before.
Thick bristles of grass and a layer of fallen leaves carpeted their path, the trail growing marshier with each step. Mr. Ackerman kept leading the way, sloshing through a deep puddle of mud that had submerged over the trail of rotten leaves.
The tips of Levi's boots reached the fringe of it before screeching to a stop. He pressed a hand against Mikasa as well to halt her steps.
"A little mud isn't going to hurt you," her father looked back, "if you don't come back dirty after a day of hunting than you're going about it all wrong."
Levi didn't like the notion of that at all and he had no desire to follow through with such a stupid philosophy. He lifted Mikasa effortlessly, tucking her under his arm. She weighed next to nothing. She didn't say anything, only enjoyed the sudden ride as he went the long way around. Off the trail. he cut into the near-impenetrable foliage. Wrestling with bushes and twining vines, he regrouped with Mr. Ackerman on the other side of the mud puddle.
The man lifted his hat to scratch his head, but a shrug later he carried on. Levi didn't want to dirty up his clothes, and he definitely didn't want Mikasa's white dress to dye with brown muck.
They entered a small clearing of land, unshaven emerald carpet padded their tracks. The reek of spores floated all round and the elderly branches bowed at their arrival. The hedged trees skirting around them revealed a hole of sky; the sun was currently behind a thick cloud, which Levi was secretly thankful for.
"Now, I know someone of your age doesn't have much experience with guns," Mr. Ackerman's mouth twisted into a cocky smirk. "but I'm willing to pass my knowledge to you."
The younger handled the gun awkwardly once he passed it to him, adjusting to the weight and shape. He tested it out, raising the gun level with his eyes.
"Give it a practice shot. It's alright if you're not good at it, I don't expect you to be."
Levi has never used a musket before. Shotguns and revolvers were more of his specialty, but a gun is a gun—as Kenny always said—use any one at your disposal if the time comes.
Levi never understood the undertones in that lesson. Why would he ever need to use a gun? The sport of hunting in the underground is nonexistent; humans barely survive down there, never mind huntable animals. If the time comes... What time would that be, he wondered. What situation would he be placed in that he would need to use any gun he could find?
Levi squirmed his way out from the ideas that popped in his head. Adeptly, he thrusted the musket into sturdy hold and propped the long barrel in his left hand and readied his finger on the trigger. Locking on to a quick moving blur of gray, he closed an eye on the moving target in the far distance.
Mr. Ackerman snickered. "Don't even bother, such a small target can't be shot from this distance, and if you get any closer that thing will sprout its ears and run for the hills."
Levi watched the rabbits pattern, how it hopped once, twice, then paused to jerk its nervous head around. He adjusted his aim slightly, and Mr. Ackerman sighed humorously. "You're better off finding a prey a little less jumpy."
Ignoring him, Levi kept his focus highlighted on the rabbit. The trigger squeezed steadily. A shot rang out and the shadows of dozens of birds dotted the ground as they cawed cowardly and took to the sky.
A little bundle of fur laid limp and lifeless across the clearing.
"I'll be damned," Mr. Ackerman brushed the stubble on his chin with his fingers, "Either that was a lucky shot or you've done this before."
Levi outstretched his arm and handed the gun back to him. "Kenny and I have often have shooting practice together."
"Does he take you hunting too?" Mikasa saw the opportunity to ask a question and didn't pass it up.
"No," but he felt Kenny was training him to hunt something, he just didn't know what yet.
Their traveling and hunting continued. Mr. Ackerman tried to hunt down a wild boar, they tracked it for nearly a mile, but the missed shot had scared it into a running trot until it escaped. Levi managed to snag a goose in the midst of flight, even after Mr. Ackerman warned it would be tricky. Aiming at flying prey wasn't all that hard, especially if they're as predictable as geese.
"You're...really efficient with a gun. Kenny taught you well—you'd sure be handy to have around!"
Levi was honestly convinced he just fell into a trap. He felt his entire body stiffen, his body curled into itself in a panic when an arm had circle around his neck, reeling him in like an animal trammeled in a net.
"Ah!" Mr. Ackerman sighed piercingly loud. "It feels nice to have some company while hunting!" Mr. Ackerman secured his embrace on Levi with a squeeze. The younger boy stood as still, and unaffectionate, as stone. "You must visit more often so we can go on a camping trip together! Wouldn't that be fun? We could make everyone tag along," he paused briefly to plan, still unwilling to removed his arm despite the boy trying to squirm away, "I could talk the misses into coming and I'm sure I could lure Kenny into the woods with a trail of booze," he broke into booming laughter, scaring every animal within a five mile radius.
"I wanna go camping too!" Mikasa reached out, waving for attention.
"Of course you'll come sweetie-pie," he lifted her into his arms merrily. "Just imagine it. Sleeping under the stars..."
"...Laying in the dirt." Levi added with a flinch.
"...Feeling the cold brisk air on your bones as crickets sing you a lullaby..."
"...A million bugs crawling on you as the wild animals prowl around your sleeping flesh."
Mikasa giggled at their mismatched exchanges. Even as young as she was she knew they were on entirely different pages.
Levi really wasn't too keen on the idea of living in nature even for a night, but when he thought about it, housing himself under the trees ought to be more cleanly than the filthy streets he came from. He might take Mr. Ackerman up on his offer next time he visits.
It had been a long day. The light of the forest had dimmed down and the birds had returned to their nests for the evening. Mr. Ackerman had warned about the types of animals that lurked around at dusk: wolves, mountain lions, poisonous snakes—Levi suddenly sensed hungry eyes caging around him. Feeling anxious, he opt for picking Mikasa up and carried her the rest of the way. Besides, the rough ground—with vines and twisting thick roots—had proven that this environment was a hazard for a child and Levi thought it wiser to hold her himself.
She had thanked him shyly, her words laced with drowsiness, saying her feet were sore from walking.
When they neared departure from the woods, Mr. Ackerman had turned back to check on the two youngers and squinted with a smile.
"She seems very taken to you."
". . . . . . ." Levi peered at the little girl that nestled on his shoulder, breathing slowly and dreaming of the adventurous day they had.
Mr. Ackerman stepped over a fallen log, visoring his eyes from the strong setting sun with his hands as he scoped the area. "Mikasa is usually very shy, especially with adults. I'm glad she made a friend," he said earnestly and Levi felt strangely happy to be called her friend.
By the time they made it back to the house, Levi was tired and starving. The daily routine of training with Kenny was much more strenuous, but between the heat, the company and new surroundings he felt drained. Upon entering, Mr. Ackerman kissed his wife and showed off the prizes they hunted.
Levi secretly envied Mr. Ackerman. It must be nice to come back to a cozy tranquil home with a loving family waiting for you everyday. That's something he's always wanted: his own place he's proud to live in, unlike the dirty, moldy shack back home, and an adoring family that smiles and loves each other dearly. All he had was Kenny, an unaffectionate man. Mr. Ackerman didn't take advantage of this lifestyle, either, he was a humble man who was grateful for what life had handed him.
A long time ago, Levi stopped wishing for that life because he understood how unrealistic that type of dreaming was. Being given the opportunity to give this lifestyle a test drive had been a blessing, though. Even if this is only a mere sample of living his dream, it's better than nothing and he knows he will cherish his time here for the rest of his life.
~x~
Mikasa and Levi had spent the next morning exploring outside. It was hot again, but luckily when the heat was really striking him, they stopped by at the river that ran just behind the house. A spray of moister blew into his face as Mikasa tossed stones into the water. It skipped across the top of the water, shattering the reflection of the mountains and pines when the stone skipped across the flat top of the water, leaving a trail of ripples. No matter how many times he tried, Levi could not get the swing right and his stones wouldn't even skip once, just plunge with a splat and drown immediately on impact.
Levi refreshed himself by splashing the cold water over his face, running the remaining moisture up into his hair. Mikasa mimicked him and did the same.
She brought him to all her favorite spots, like the abandoned windmill that now remained static and crumbling. The unruly grass grew like dry and mangled brunette hair and reached knee-high. An infinite supply of dandelions entertain Mikasa for a good while as she blew out dozens of the feathery weeds one at a time and made untold wishes.
The big orange tree was their next stop. Mikasa picked some fruit off the branch after Levi gave her a boost on his shoulders. The two of them enjoyed the tarty treat together under the shaded tree as they talked and shared stories that made each other laugh. Afterward Mikasa made him a flower crown and giggled when she put the ring of wild flowers on his head, but finding it would suit her better he passed the crown to her, but thanked her regardless.
Later, they lost themselves in a cornfield that belonged to the neighbors a few miles away. Mikasa swore she knew the maze like the back of her hand before they entered, but it was late afternoon by the time they found their way out. Levi lost count somewhere along their adventure the amount of times he had caught Mikasa's fall, it wasn't that she was a clumsy girl—she's quick and light on her feet, but ofttimes gets too excited and stumbles over herself, or fails to notice twining twigs and slick paths.
Levi didn't mind keeping a close eye on her, though. That part came just as natural as breathing. He never imagined he would get along with a child so well, but he dearly enjoyed her company.
Mikasa was about to drag him off to another spot; the chicken coop about a mile down, but fearing her parents might start to worry, they opted back to the house.
Arriving back at the cabin, Levi heard a voice that made his hand pause in the midst of reaching the door knob. Kenny was speaking and building up to something, you could tell by that roundabout, yet specific choice of wording of his.
Mikasa looked up at Levi puzzlingly, hidden by his shadow, but Levi did not regard her face on. As he listened closely, he held her back gently, a hand cupped on her slender shoulder. Nothing could interrupt this. This was the main reason they had come all this way. For now, playtime was over and the relaxed face Levi had wore around Mikasa today had wrinkled in desperation and fear. The fate of Kenny's and Levi's future (and possibly his own life) all depended on how this conversation went.
Here it comes. He took a shallow breath. Levi knew what Kenny would say next already. Word for word. At least knowing how to predict Kenny came in handy at times like this.
The next line flowed calmly, naturally, sounding as simple as a thought made up on the spot; just as Kenny planned. "...Maybe we should arrange them to wed when Mikasa becomes of age." The proposal drifted out from the open left window and ghosted over Levi like a chill. He heard no reactions from the right where Mikasa's parents voices came from shortly before. Kenny pressed on, allowing them no time to brood over his words in silence. "Levi needs to continue the Ackerman name, after all. He'll never be able to pick a suitable wife for himself; the boy is hopeless. We might as well pair him with trusted blood."
"...It's a bit soon to be thinking about marriage, isn't it?" His brother questioned. His voice came off as casually preoccupied. Perhaps he was cleaning his musket or peeling some vegetables, but he knew Kenny was determined now and would gain his attention and convince him—or so Levi hoped.
"Nonsense. Mikasa will grow up in a flash and you'll be running around like chickens with no heads when you try to find a last minute husband for her." The foundation creaked as heavy steps walked from one side of the house to the other.
"Listen, brother," Kenny's voice came from the right now. "Don't forget that our parents had introduced your wife to you—look at all the good it did. You have a your own home, a beautiful daughter, your own income." There was a long pause. The heat baking at the back of Levi's head stung as he idled stiffly. He harbored his breath so he wouldn't miss a word. "As for myself, I ran away from home like a dumb young hoodlum before they found me a wife... and I never had much luck with putting a ring on a broad of my own..."
Something about the way Kenny's voiced dipped in grief there felt off. That right there was something Levi hadn't expected, and that's coming from someone who never had much trouble detecting Kenny's moods. In all the time he had known him, he never heard a tone like that slip from him before. However, Levi forgot all about it once he began talking again.
"I'm too old to turn back time, but Mikasa and Levi are still young. If you want your daughter to have a bright future you need to pick out a husband for her." His voice raised crisply, "Now. Before it's too late. You say it's too soon? No, brother. The sooner you promise her to a good man the better. And after raising Levi myself, I could assure you he is a good man, I made damn sure that he turned out that way. When Mikasa is a woman he will be even stronger, smarter and he will treat your little girl with only the best that she deserves. You do want her to have the best, don't you?"
The conniving bait was laid out—now all they had to do was wait for a nibble and reel them in. The silence was tantalizing. During the void of speech, Levi replayed the words still lingering around in the late summer day.
Over hearing the plans of the arrange marriage made Levi's pounding heart retch to his throat, choking him and leaving him feeling faint. He was prepared for this, but now that the plan was carrying out accordingly and he saw little innocent Mikasa at his hip, the reality was finally settling in.
The long pause finally ended. A considering voice stretched out, "...Mikasa does seem to really like Levi. I never saw her as active and talkative as she is around him." You could detect the muse in her father's words as he reflected. "And I like Levi too. He's still just a boy, but I see a lot of potential in him. In a few years he would make a worthy husband, I think."
"I really like that boy," Mrs. Ackerman let out quickly, sounding as if she carefully let the idea brew in her mind for a while. "And Mikasa likes him too. There aren't many people around here that she'll be able to meet, never mind fall in love with. It will be challenging to find a man as good as Levi in this region."
Kenny had thought the same and had mentioned that in the ride over. The fact that they live in the middle of nowhere could be used to their advantage. Keeping Mikasa isolated as a child is fine so long as her parents are devoted to her and play the role as parent and friend, but when she reached the age of a woman she won't always have her parents and it will be nearly impossible for her to make a family herself if she coudln't even find a mate.
"Maybe it's not such a bad idea, dear." There was a drip of worry in her words, as if she never gave much thought about this subject before. Since Mikasa was so young, Levi didn't blame the woman for neglecting the thought, but now she was left to face the wonders concerning her daughter's future.
Her husband replied with, " Mikasa will surely grow into a smart and beautiful woman, but that won't help her if she can't even find a man. Do we really want her to settle with one of the country folk around here? Most know how to sow and hunt, but let's face facts, many are inbred and don't know how to read or write. Even it she does miraculously find someone around here, I wouldn't be too happy about handing my daughter to someone like that."
There was a hum of agreement from his wife. Mr. Ackerman continued, "I think you're right, honey. It would be wise to consider the proposal."
That's all Levi needed to hear. He turned the knob and stepped inside. Mikasa followed in after in a logy pace. She was probably too young to comprehend anything she heard.
"Perfect timing," Kenny said, his cunning bright grin displaying proudly. Secretly, the man was celebrating already. Her parents were smiling too, albeit kinder with crinkled mirth skirted around their eyes as they stared at him and Mikasa.
"Did you two have fun exploring?" Mrs. Ackerman asked cheerfully. The mood of her voice altered completely from a second ago.
"Yeah..."
Levi couldn't tell if the five year old was just confused at the strange words flung back and forth between her family, or if she seemed out of it from being long over due for her afternoon nap.
Her mother softly knelt in front of her, patting her head. She was about to break it to her, Levi surmised. "Remember when you told me you can't wait to get married to a man like papa so you could start your own family someday?"
Mikasa nodded, remembering.
"Well, your father and I, and your uncle, are going to ensure that you get your wish, if that's okay with you."
The thumping in Levi's chest amplified. The heat suffocating him felt even less forgiving as the humidity wrapped around him like a confining blanket. If it weren't for the tremble in his knees reminding him to keep balance, surely he would've buckled to the floor by now.
"I know you're too young to give your full consent now," she stroked her daughters cheek, "but I really need to hear your opinion before papa and I give our consent, okay?"
Mikasa bobbed her head timidly, only half-understanding.
"When you grow up, how would you feel about marrying Levi?"
"...Levi?" she echoed and her attention spun to him, cheeks smoldering like burning coal. Her mother looked his way next, smiling genuinely. He swallowed hard—after seeing that smile, he didn't want to ever disappoint her, nor her husband or their child. If they did marry, Levi vowed to make them all proud of him.
Mikasa twisted back to her mother, whispering bashfully in her ear. The woman laughed out, rubbing her back. "Okay, okay," Mrs. Ackerman regarded everyone in the room, lighthearted giggles traveling between mother and daughter. "What she told me was a secret, but let's just say that you have my full consent—now that just leaves you, Levi," she lifted herself back up, grasping at his low shoulder. "How would you feel about marrying my daughter?"
Levi felt this eyes moisten, but he did not permit any of his tears to leave. He's been trying to fight his pesky habit of being a crybaby, but this has proven to be the most challenging test yet. He didn't even know why he wanted to cry. It all felt like a dream—but he couldn't tell if he wanted to cry because he might wake up, or if he was terrified and wanted to wake up. All emotions, ones he held for days and ones he never knew he had all clung to him at once and Kenny read them all on his face when he peered over to him, as if silently asking for this consent to give his.
"Go on, boy. Give the woman an answer. Do you want us to arrange an engagement between you and Mikasa?" That was not a question, only an order disguised with a rising intonation.
Studying Mikasa a while, his eyes flicked back to her mother with an answer waiting in his clenching throat, an answer he very well might choke on. While replaying all the good that he could come out of this arrangement, he pushed his own personal insecurities down. Now he was ready and showed no fear in his tone.
"You have my consent," he recited clearly like a line from a script written by Kenny.
"Wonderful." Mrs. Ackerman clapped her hands together.
Merry chatter filled the room, but Levi and Mikasa were both silent, stealing looks at one another. Mikasa looked stunned and nervous, and Levi's expression twisted to something indescribable when he tried to focus on keeping his hands from shaking.
"Maybe someday they'll make us some grandkids." Kenny slipped in to add to the parents excitement. Mrs. Ackerman grinned joyfully. That was the first time she ever smile at Kenny...and it was also the last time.
"How would we make grandchildren?" Mikasa looked up at Levi questionably, he shrugged his shoulders up. He hadn't the faintest idea. Since Kenny had been the one who mentioned it, his niece turned to him for answers. "Uncle Kenny, how do you make children?"
"Oh boy," Kenny nursed his head with a stiff rub. "...I-I need a drink."
Even though Levi found the sight of Kenny faltering satisfying, he tried to shift the pressure away from him. "Don't bother asking him," Levi warned her, "he'll just confuse you and blab on about seeding and nectar."
"...Do you plant a seed in the garden and wait for a baby to sprout?" she guessed, looking at everyone in turn around the room for clarification, but all the knowing adults turned into cravens and back away.
Mikasa's parents must know how to make a child—they have one for crying out loud. Levi had enough. He just wanted to know the cold hard facts. No planting metaphors, no talk of birds and bees, just the truth delivered in the bluntest form. "If you want us to make a baby, you'll have to tell us how to make one."
"Right!" Mikasa agreed with a spring in her step.
Curious for his reaction, Mrs. Ackerman searched for her husband, who had backed himself into a shady corner, hoping he would blend into the wall and be forgotten. Frightfully, he chuckled, "We'll have to hold off that discussion until the next time you visit. It'll give us something to look forward to," with the way his face highlighted with panic, Levi could tell he was looking forward to it like the plague. "I'd be an excellent grandpa, if I do say so myself and that's all that matters. Anyway, it's nice Mikasa won't have to change her last name when they wed, talk about convenient!"
They all flew to the change in topic like flies over a dumpster. All traces of the mysteries of babies and their origin were overwritten with forced chatter as Levi and Mikasa stood there densely.
"Maybe we should get the formalities out of the way," Kenny reached into his jacket, pulling out a slip of paper, "might as well give your written consent while you're all in the mood."
"You seem prepared..." his brother folded his arms, guarding his suspicion. "If I didn't know any better I'd say you planned this."
Kenny snickered slyly at his brother and in turn he rolled his eyes with a smirk back at him. Now that Levi saw them both smiling together, they did look a little alike.
"This is boring grown-up stuff," Mikasa squalled crankily, it was about time for her nap, Levi remembered. She hopped up and yanked him by his cravat and Levi nearly tumbled as he scrambled for balance. It was in that moment, while he nearly fell on his face, that he realized Mikasa was very strong for a five year old. "Let's go to my room and play," she dragged him along and Levi hunched behind, choking on her pull.
"At least we know who will wear the pants in the marriage," Kenny teased as they warped around a corner, leaving behind a room full of smiles.
Mikasa, who only stood under half of Levi's height and weighted about as much as a sack of potatoes, had shoved him into the rocking chair in the corner of her room, he fell back at a dangerously sloped angle. With that presented strength, Levi caught himself wondering why Kenny didn't want Mikasa to take over his work when she's older.
The walls were decorated with scribbles of artwork and canvases of embroidery patterns. The vanity was cluttered with costume jewelry, brushes and an expensive looking porcelain doll that seemed to be for decoration and not for playing. Stuffed bears with ribbons and rag dolls crowded her tiny bed.
Once Levi made his inspection, Mikasa appeared before him with an arm full of handcrafted rag dolls she had collected from all about the room. She pelted them all into his lap. "These are our babies. Take care of them."
"These are dolls." Levi told her prosily, not understanding the concept of playing pretend.
Mikasa, even as young as she was, rolled her eyes with a little sigh. "We're playing House.Pretend they are our real babies."
Levi rose a brow at her and looked back to the button eyed doll staring into his soul; it's stitched lip smirking, its yarn hair tangling in his fingers.
Creepy...
He never had toys growing up and he never desired to own any. Perhaps he grew up too fast—there's something he's not getting. While adjusting himself in the rocking chair, one of the baby dolls slipped between his knees and crashed with a squeak onto the floor.
Mikasa gasped like she witnessed an unspeakable crime. "You're a bad papa!" she pointed accusingly. "You just broke our child's neck!"
A panic rose in his chest. For a second he felt like a utter failure—there had to be a way to fix this. "...I'm a doctor, I could fix it," he said uncertainly. They were playing pretend, after all, right? He checked Mikasa's reaction. She sighed in relief with a hand on her steadying heart. He must be getting the hang of this.
Like a handy nurse, she passed him a roll of gauze's, and even though he had the urge to say it wasn't wise to waste supplies, he unfurled the bandage and weaved it around the doll's plush head.
"Now that you fixed her boo-boo, you have to read her a bedtime story."
"It's only three in the afternoon."
"Babies need naps!"
"I think you need a nap," he slipped, startled at her sweet voice turning deadly. Now that they're almost officially promised to wed, he only hoped she doesn't become this demanding as a wife and mother.
After gathering a colorful book off the shelf, Mikasa hopped up on Levi's lap and made herself comfortable...but in turn, Levi became uncomfortable at this. He's not used to being around children, for one, and he's never had someone sit in his lap before either. There's a first time for everything, he supposed.
He put an arm around her waist, fearing she might fall off him. One of their children was securely tucked between his arm as he read the short book that was more pictures than words.
"She's sleeping now, put her to bed."
Forgetting they were playing House for the moment, he mistook her demand literally and tossed the doll to her bed. The plush careened off the wall and bounced face down on the bed.
"Levi no! Bad papa! I'm leaving you!"
Great. They're not even married yet and she already wants a divorce. "I'm not very good at playing, sorry."
Letting out a little sigh, she pat his shoulder to reassure him. "Then what do you do when you don't have chores? Don't you play games?"
He thought about it. "Chores are kind of my playtime. I like cleaning."
"Really? Hm. I guess I like it too. It's fun sometimes, especially when were all spring cleaning as a family."
Not bad. If she enjoys cleaning enough to refer to it as fun they really were a match made in heaven like Kenny claimed.
As little snippets of their future together started flashing in his mind, Mikasa rested her head against Levi's shoulder and focused on the wave of his cravat when she flicked it. "Are we really getting married?"
"...Yes. But our engagement won't be finalized for a long time, so don't worry about it now. When you get old enough you decide for yourself what you want." Levi wasn't supposed to say that. Kenny had said if he got Mikasa alone he should convince her to say yes regardless of how she felt when she got older, threaten her if he had to so the memory imprinted.
Levi was many awful things, but he was not and never would be a child abuser. He's not going to force her. Even if she changes her mind when she gets older, he rather suffer the consequences from Kenny himself instead of making her go through with something that makes her unhappy. Even if Kenny finds him useless and kills him if he is unable to marry Mikasa, then so be it. He rather that than have this little girl miserable and afraid to refuse a man she didn't love.
"I'd marry you," she said groggily after pondering as much as a five year old could.
"Why?"
"Because I like you," she pressed her cheek into his collar bone and shut her eyes. That wasn't an explanation, just another statement that needed to be expanded, but he thought it better not to question her while she's sleepy. "But you need to learn how to be a better papa," she added urgently just before her body weighed down with sleep.
He allowed himself to chuckle. "I promise I wouldn't throw our children. Or drop them. I'd take good care of them."
"And I would take care of you, like how my mama takes care of my papa. I'd cook for you and help you hunt, make sure you're warm in the snowy winter, then I'd take care of you when you get sick anyway..." she giggled wearily.
Levi grinned against her hair and began to give voice to his thoughts, rocking them gently with a light press of his foot. "Maybe one day we'll live in a cabin just like this together. Isolated and away from everyone other than our family."
The chair creaked now and then as it rocked, which broke the silence as Mikasa drifted in and out from her slumber. "I'd really like that, Levi."
Mikasa fell asleep shortly after with a smile on her lips. Soundlessly, Levi cradled her over to the bed, tucking her and her stuffed animals and dolls in for a nap.
With his fingers knitted together between his knees, he sat at the edge of the bed, intending to relax his racing mind by expanding the pleasant ideas they exchanged, but as his hearing heightened he caught the chatter beyond the door.
"I don't have much knowledge about promised brides," Mr. Ackerman started, "so I'm wondering, legally speaking, they'll be considered husband and wife already?"
"Almost. Since Mikasa is underage they will hold the ceremony later and make the union official. For now it's simpler to think of it as an official engagement." Kenny answered.
"What if Mikasa reaches the age of consent and changes her mind? What if she falls in love with another man?"
Levi heard the sound of a growl that tried to be bit back. Just the idea of it must have irritated Kenny. "Then they would have to void the engagement together, it's similar to a divorce. Not worth the hassle, if you ask me. And as for falling in love with another man—that would be adultery. I highly advise against it."
"This seems complicated. Instead of finalizing the engagement in writing, can't we just keep it in mind and see how they feel when their older? I don't want to force Mikasa into anything," his brother replied.
"But dear..." Mrs. Ackerman's worried tone slipped in. "We already talked about this. This is the right choice. All of my family members were arranged to marry and you and I were promised together young. Arranged marriages do more good than harm so long as you match the right people together. It might seem like were taking freedom away from her but really were doing the best thing for her. One day she'll thank us, just as we thank our parents for setting us up."
"You're right," he agreed with his wife, the doubt evaporated from his voice. "I only want to give her every thing she wants—but I suppose if I really want to make that happen, I have to start planning her future now..."
The rest of their conversation fogged as Levi reflected. They had so much confidence in him. They trusted him, saw him as a worthy suitor for their precious and irreplaceable daughter. The responsibility was heavy, but he pledged to carry it with pride.
Before Levi left the room, he tucked Mikasa and her doll, or rather their baby, in. Brushing the fringe of her hair from her forehead, he spoke low enough not to wake her, "I'll take good care of you, Mikasa. I'll protect you and everything that's special to you. I'll make you as happy as I could. I promise, I promise..."
~x~
The day before the departure back to the underground, Levi went out to the river behind the house with Mr. Ackerman and Mikasa with rods and bait. Levi soon learned that fishing takes a lot of patience, something he didn't have much of, but Mikasa managed to entice some fun when she sung some songs her mother taught her. Some were in another language he didn't understand, but the melody was catchy. As young as she was, her singing voice was as mature and gentle as this old streaming river.
Mrs. Ackerman joined their outing around midday with a quilt draped over her arm and a woven basket in hand.
"Where's Kenny?" Levi asked her after she settled herself down on the laid out on quilt. "I invited him, but he made a sour face and said he's not willingly eating outside like an animal," she tried to hide the roll in her eyes but Levi caught it. That sounded like Kenny.
The sparkling lake reflected the distant mountains like a mirror. The leaves formed a green canopy overhead, protecting them from the sun. The trunk thick and coated with aging bark. The air smelt of pine and a whiff of fresh fruit escaped the basket when Mrs. Ackerman flipped the lid. Birds in the high branches whistled them a song to accompany their picnic.
"Could you peel my apple?" Mikasa asked her father after she settled herself snugly next to Levi, but the man had his hands full with setting the fire in the pit.
Levi brushed off his hands and reached out. "I could do it for you."
Her father smiled back with a nod, appreciating the help, then nudged his chin pointedly to the massive trout laid near him, hook still pierced in its lip. "Whoa-ho, this fish sure is big. You see this, hun? He put up quite a fight!"
"Is that so?" The woman didn't regard her husband much, just simply smiled as she poured freshly squeezed lemonade into four cups.
Mikasa frowned. "Papa don't take credit, Levi caught that fish and you know it."
"...But it was my rod and bait..." he sulked with a pout and looked more childish than his daughter. "You couldn't let me have one good fishing story, could you?"
"How could you steal the achievements of our guest?" his wife asked sternly with a hint of jest.
He mumbled with fake annoyance as he fiddled with the twigs that refused to light, making Mikasa giggle at her fathers silliness.
"Need help lighting the fire?" Levi offered as he dexterously peeled the skin from the ruby fruit.
"No thank you," her father quickly declared with confidence, his blade scraping the flint without a single spark. The stubborn wood simply refused to kindle.
"Oh come now, dear, don't be one if those prideful old men that can't let the young outshine them."
"I'm not old. I'm hip and cool. Ain't that right, sweetie-pie?"
"Levi is way cooler than you, dad," her normally sweet expression inverted, leaving her looking dead-serious and far ahead of her time. And to top it off, her voice resembled a bratty teenager, which is naturally every father's worse nightmare. If you listened very carefully, you could hear the sound of her father's heart cracking a little. A tear spilled out of his eye as his laugh turned into a sob.
"Now, now," his wife pat at his back.
Levi finished carving the skin off the apple and he went ahead and cut it into small slices for her. It felt strange... Levi almost felt like he belonged here. Even with Kenny absent, he didn't feel out of place. In fact, he felt like he done things like this with them a hundred times. An unusual sense of camaraderie had inhabited him. The atmosphere felt comforting and relaxed, he didn't feel on-guard or anxious at all like he typically did. He had never been blessed with this sort of company before. Even if he was in his own house, he would feel like an uninvited guest when Kenny would invite over coworkers or affiliates.
By the time Mr. Ackerman got the wood to smolder and started grilling, they already filled up half way with fruit and by then Levi accepted the calming sensations he harbored for what they were.
"Do you fish with Kenny a lot, Levi? What about hunting?" Mrs. Ackerman asked to start up small talk.
After taking a sip of the lemonade, he shook his head. "Not really. I never even fished before today. I just got lucky. We have a lot of shooting practice, though."
"My brother has always been a gun-nut—ouch!" Mr. Ackerman scorched himself and aided the burn by sucking on his finger. How is this clumsy guy even related to Kenny?
"I wanna learn how to shoot too!" Mikasa raised her fist at the challenge. She sure did like being included in everything.
"I'll teach you some day. After all, you need to know how to hunt even after I'm gone."
"Gone?" she blinked innocently, "where are you going?"
Mr. Ackerman chuckled in an effort to push the dreary topic away. "I'm not going anywhere, sweetie-pie. I'll teach you how to shoot when you get older, if mama let's me, that is " he looked to his wife for consent.
She shrugged. "As long as you're careful I have no complaints. But that's still a long ways from now. Let's talk about the present," she flicked her eyes to Levi. "What do you plan to do once you get back home? Do you have a job?"
He squirmed back in his seat. "Not exactly. I do some errands for locals in the area."
"I see, what kind of errands?"
"Just odds and ends stuff..." The errands in particular were quite dodgy and legally questionable. The scene he's been getting involved with as of late weren't the best group of people, but they weren't all that bad—though, the only titles appropriate for them were thugs, criminals and the corrupt. He wouldn't dare add in that little detail to her, though. Levi's not too proud of his involvement with illegal activities, but he tried to make an income on the side and also ensure a Plan B with himself, just in case his plans go wrong with Kenny.
"When I was about your age I wanted to join the military." Mrs. Ackerman craned her neck up at the bowing canopy above, her eyes open but not seeing. Memories of the past filmed over her dark steel eyes. "I trained all through my teen years. I was aiming for the Garrison regiment."
"And I wanted to serve under the king," her husband added.
"You wanted to join the Military Police?" Levi questioned.
"No, I just wanted to be his chef or repair man at the castle, or something safe," he chuckled cowardly.
He stared at them in turn. "What made you two change your mind?"
"We fell in love." They said together and stared starry eyed at each other, her husband gave her a smitten look and his wife shied away from his gaze as if they were on a first date.
"We were still going to follow our dreams," she added, "but when we had Mikasa we wanted to devote all our time to her. We didn't want to be so occupied with work like our parents were. Family always comes first and now that you're a member of our family... I want you to know we are here for you, too."
A nervous breath sucked into his throat and he nearly choked on it, but remarkably he was able to calmly reply with,"Thank you. I won't let you down."
"And even if you do now and then, it's okay. No one is perfect," she winked with a thin smirk. No one ever said that to Levi. Anything less than perfection was unheard of and scolded upon.
"Right. If I was a perfect husband, surely this beauty here would've left me years ago. The most important thing you need to focus on is being a good person and a good person is always there for their family."
Levi understood now—the exchanges were odd at first but he figured out their objective here: they were giving him a prep talk now that he's engaged to their daughter. Out of all the useless life lessons Kenny taught him, he could finally say he received some useful advice. Levi isn't the best person right now; he's been going down a dark path and it will only get darker, but he'll be sure to dig himself out before he buried himself with regrets...
These people—all staring at him with warm smiles—were his family now. They trusted him. They were counting on him. He doesn't want to disappoint them. He wants to be a son-in-law they're proud of. He wants to be a husband that Mikasa is pleased to call hers. He wants to be a father that his children will look up to...but before all that, he needed to become a better person. If it's for their sake, he knows he could do it.
~x~
When Levi was packing up his belongings and readying for departure, he heard a light rap at the door. Before he could bid entry, the handle clicked open and a stealthy figure shouldered into the threshold, shutting the door behind her mutely.
Mrs. Ackerman spun around to face him, her young-looking features looked aged in worry and her swift motions turned bulky and tense as she pressed her back to the door, barring it as if she was keeping out a pack of hungry wolves on the other side, threatening to trample down the door.
"Miss..." he set down his shirt onto the bed in the midst of folding and regarded her fully with a spin on his heel, taking a cautious step toward her. "Is everything alright?"
Mrs. Ackerman crossed the room with the same broadness of a bulky man—she no longer resembled the weak and petite woman he came to know. Before he could even prepare, she took Levi into a shadowed corner of the guest room, both hands digging into his shoulders. Those beautiful narrow eyes of hers flared with fright, like a spooked horse in a storm. "There's something not right about that man."
"Who, Kenny?" It was the first name he thought to mention.
"Shhh," with rising panic she set a finger to her lips. "Keep your voice down. I don't want him to hear..." the whisper cut off, her words clenching in her throat. "I don't trust him, Levi."
"...You shouldn't," he heard himself say. Even though he recognized his own voice, the words did not sound like his own.
Ever since he was young, he's had never spoke ill-word about Kenny behind his back—talking shit about him to his face was another story, but saying he shouldn't be trusted to his brother's wife made him feel dirty...but cleansed at the same time for letting that out. As he got older he realized that something wasn't right about Kenny. Not long ago, he started to have his doubts about what exactly he was being trained for, and also began to wonder what Kenny did for a living. Youth had blinded his judgment and made him into a mindless follower without will or thoughts of his own, but age had made him wise and the wise ask questions—only, he never received answers from Kenny. Suspicious, maybe, or maybe Levi was overreacting. His mind often warred between the two possibilities—is Kenny planning something corrupt? Or is he just thinking too deep about it? But now that Mrs. Ackerman, a woman he quickly came to trust—a smart person and a remarkable judge of character—had voiced her anxieties, Levi couldn't help but to agree.
Her eyes never broke from his. Even while looking down at him, he did not feel inferior or intimidated by her. An equal, an ally; that's what she was. A ray of hope that he had always tried to reach for; someone he could trust and safely confide in. That's how he saw her now.
A barrage of concerns shot at him all at once. "Levi, listen. Don't go back with him. He's dangerous, I could sense it. Stay here with us. You're free to live here...with my husband and I and Mikasa. How would you like that?"
He didn't consider her offer. Not even for a second. He strode back a step, freeing himself from her grasp as he shook his head, feeling like he had deceived Kenny by just listening to the proposal.
"Kenny would never consent. He...he needs me," for what, he still didn't know.
She looked distraught, lost in her own home. Levi searched her whole face, trying to predict that she would say next. A deep breath went in through her nose and a calmer voice exhaled out. "I'll have my husband talk to him, then maybe—"
"It won't work."
"But you can't stay with him." The previous whisper she tried to hold shattered as she tried to convince him. Although, they both knew she was convincing the wrong person. "I can see it in his eyes, he's done horrible things. You're not safe with him. Please, don't go back with him."
Levi looked down, worry swelling up like a fever taking over his body. No one had ever told him that but at the back of his mind he knew Kenny was corrupt and he's suspected that he'd done bad things, but he tried to turn his gaze from the truth. Or maybe he couldn't see at all. Hell, Levi had done bad things himself, but Kenny...Kenny's work goes behind illegal blackmarket smuggling, stealing and brawls, he knows it now. Mrs. Ackerman helped him see. She's sharp. She figured out what he had trouble with concluding ever since he was a child.
The worried mother chewed on her lip in thought, agitated but offered the most possible suggestion. "If the arrangement between the two of you ever gets truly bad, just come stay with us. This is your home. If Kenny ever comes looking for you, we'll hide you."
Your home...
As comforting as it was to hear that, it just wouldn't work. Escaping Kenny would be impossible. Only if he had a death wish would he ever attempt something so risky—but if he did ever find himself in a bad situation like Mrs. Ackerman is implying—no, he mustn't put them in danger. Kenny is violent, stubborn and knows how to take back what is rightfully his. "I couldn't ever do that—I would put you all in danger. Kenny is dangerous, you know that. You figured that out on your own. You, your husband and Mikasa might get hurt, or worse."
Her lips quivered from the thought, rubbing her arms like an icy spirit walked through her. Hopelessness had hugged around her. She no longer could look him in the eye; her eyes looked like dark gray clouds during a rain storm. She casted her gaze to the side, eyes roaming restlessly for an answer to this dilemma. Her eyes held some promise before, but not anymore. Perhaps that is why she couldn't look him in the eye now. There was no hope she could offer him now—but she offered him something else: Comfort and warmth—she took him into a hug, roughly at first but soon she melted around him softly like a home-made sweater stitched with love.
He didn't return the sudden embrace, just stood stiffly like a stone pillar. He's never been hugged before and felt strange and uncomfortable—but safe and warm.
"Just take care of yourself, Levi," she murmured into his neck. "You seem like a very sweet boy and I don't want him corrupting you. I don't care how big and bad he thinks he is, don't let him change you. We won't let him break this family apart." Her hand caressed his hair and Levi caught himself closing his eyes contently at the soothing touch. "Don't you ever force yourself to do anything you're uncomfortable with, alright?"
Those soft words spoken into his ear would stick with him for a lifetime. Her disembodied voice would whisper in his ear again in the future, like a ghostly visit, when Kenny had ordered him to perform his first kill. He followed her orders, not his and escaped Kenny—but he did not return home and that will always be one of his greatest regrets...
He reluctantly pulled away from the closest thing he ever had to a mother.
"I meant what I said, you know." she said, knuckling away a tear, "I want you to marry my daughter." She smiled affably, trying to cheer him up and she caressed his cheek.
"Why me?" he still had no idea why she agreed to the proposal in the first place. He saw her as a smart woman, but the choice she made caused him wonder. "I'm just a street rat with nothing to offer her."
Her brows pulled down, darkening her eyes. "You're much more than that. Don't listen to that man. You're worthy of my daughter—you have more than you think, Levi. You're a good person. You could offer her kindness and respect and a happy life. That is all I want from you. But it's entirely up to you. I'll shred up the arrangements unless you truly want to. Don't do it just because Kenny said so. If you're afraid to tell him that, then I'll tell him I changed my mind or that I decided on another suitor."
"No," he told her in haste. "I like Mikasa. Your family is the kindest I've ever met in my life. I would like to be apart of it."
"And now you are," she took him into another hug and Levi awkwardly returned it that time. "If you ever need anything just come to us. Just promise me that you'll take good care of Mikasa someday, that's all I want in return."
He nodded and swore to the promise like he's never done before, not to Kenny, not anyone. Her words held meaning; the goal was clear unlike Kenny's orders. And her words offered something to look forward to at the end of his dark road. Accepting to protect Mikasa gave him actual hope, and that is the best gift he ever received.
~x~
Levi looked up at the overcast sky. It would rain soon, he thought. The clouds held back its tears just as strongly as he did.
Mikasa and her parents, along with himself and Kenny all rallied up at the front of the cabin. An ominous mist painted the land with a dull, lifeless gray. A shame the weather couldn't remain as cheery and colorful as it did when he first arrived. The smells of summer was covered by a damp odor, he found himself wishing he could smell the pines and flowers around here one more time before returning back home. The drain of color and musky scents reminded him of the underground, the place he would be returning to soon. He frowned at the thought and caught himself thinking he would even miss the sweltering heat. It might be a while until he could soak his bones in the sun again.
He received yet another hug from Mrs. Ackerman as they started exchanging goodbyes, and it took her a long time to let go this time. She whispered something foreign in his ear and said it was an ancient prayer to keep him save.
Next he stood before her husband and extended a hand, but the man passed up the casual handshake and bonded his arms around the boy, squeezing him so hard he couldn't breathe. "Come back soon, will ya'? I need my hunting buddy!" He pat his back hard as he released, and Levi told him he looked forward to hunting with him again.
Kenny chatted with his brother as Levi stepped to the next person in line. With a small smirk on his lips, he crouched down. The little girl curled her fingers into the ruffles of her dress, swaying her body bashfully. "I had a lot of fun with you this week, Levi."
"Me too."
The dampness welling in her eyes contradicted her smile. With a burst of emotionally-driven energy, she leaped forward, binding her arms around his neck and without hesitation he squeezed her right back just as tight—he was finally getting the hang of hugging.
"I'm going to miss you," he couldn't believe he said.
"I'll miss you more," she sounded a hiccup away from full-blown bawling. "When will you visit us again?"
"I don't know," he rubbed her back to sooth her, "but I'll try to see all of you again as soon as I can."
"You better. I'll be very mad if you take too long."
He chuckled in the tangle of her hair. "I certainly wouldn't want that."
As they broke apart, a little pair of lips brushed against his cheek, a little wet smack sounded at the spontaneous contact. The air around them held a chill, but both of them burned hot, their flushed red faces contrasting against the gloomy gray hue over the land.
Levi stared, flapping his lips like a dying fish and Mikasa couldn't even look him in the eye. She clenched at a clump of her dress and stuttered incoherently before finally saying, "H-Have a safe trip."
She then dashed off to hide behind her father's leg. It reminded Levi of the first time he laid eyes on her when she was cowering behind her mother's dress. In such a short amount of time the two of them had come a long way from that. The bonds they formed over these past few days tied them closer together than the engagement between them.
Levi clutched his knee for aid as he stood, floundering from the emotional high. If he feels like this from a small peck on the cheek from a kid, he didn't believe he'd ever be prepared for a kiss from Mikasa when she's a grown woman. The image of it made him sweat like a guilty sinner. He brushed the dirt off his pants and began staggering off—and Kenny helpfully repositioned him in the right direction.
"This way to the wagon, loverboy."
Kenny whipped the reins and the horses vaulted into a steady trot down the dirt path. The Ackerman's waved goodbye from their cabin, with little Mikasa hoisted up on her father's back for a better view. When the distant echos of farewells faded, all that remained was the sound of the wooden wheels of the wagon spinning around wobbly over the uneven terrain.
The cabin shrunk into the landscape the further they rode. He kept watching Mikasa and her parents, they were just blurry dots on the horizon until they were swallowed up by a hill as they descended down a slope. Levi turned back to the road, smiling ruefully. The road ahead stretched on as far as his eyes could see. They had a long trip back home. Reflecting on some of the new memories he made ought to make it go by a little faster.
"When will we get to see them again?" Levi felt so impatient—he just wanted to count down the days until he can visit them again.
The man switched the reins into one hand to rummaged through his jacket, pulling out a cigar that he lit as he spoke. "Not until Mikasa's fifteen, at least. You're engaged to her now, there's no reason to waste our times visiting those morons. We accomplished what we came here to do."
The awning overhead shaded the travelers from the sudden light drizzle of rain wrenching from the clouds, but Levi could still feel the cool spray blowing on his heated face, leaving a glowing sheen on his darkening features. The smile he had before was just a distant memory—and it wouldn't return again for years to come. They rode almost a mile over the boggy path before it finally sunk in.
"That's ten years from now," his voice went flat.
"Yeah," Kenny shrugged as he puffed on his cigar, "and she'll be fertile by then and you could stick a son in her. It's a pointless waste of time to see her before she could marry and have your children."
A clap of thunder rumbled the sky. Levi resented Kenny for the way he talked about Mikasa like she was some baby machine. She was so much more than that. All of them were more than tools used to accomplish a mission. They're special to Levi. They're his family.
They rode for hours without saying a word more. With every inch they moved he felt further away from his family and it broke his heart. Levi refused to look at Kenny or talk to him. He wore a scowl and it honestly hurt going back to that expression after smiling, laughing and relaxing his face all week.
Eventually, Kenny's face softened as much as it possibly should without breaking. "Geez, you get too easily obsessed with shit. You really like her, don't you?"
For the first time in hours, Levi looked away from the passing grim scenery and back to him with a firm nod.
Kenny studied his face and the sincerity his expression held. He rattled a sigh, defeated. "Maybe I could arrange for us to see them again, maybe," he emphasized, "but not anytime soon. If you do as I say in the upcoming months and put your training to the test, I'll let you see her again."
Levi perked up at that. Hope had presented itself again. There's nothing he wouldn't do for Kenny anyway, this would be a cinch.
…Or so he thought. He didn't hold his end of the deal and thus Levi never received his award. Levi didn't want to use his training in the way Kenny ordered—he couldn't bear even the thought of having dead man's blood on his hands. Everything was ruined with that one order, the plans, the goals, the hope—everything was taken from him at once.
Levi levanted deep into the underground and joined a band of thieves after that, but not a day passed by without thinking of Mikasa and her mother and father. Even though he desperately wanted to see them, he stayed far away for their own protection. Kenny's and his men hunted him down every hour of every day, trying to track down his runaway pride. Levi knew he had a home with the Ackerman's in that cozy little cabin in the countryside, but he didn't want the trouble to follow him there and put their peaceful lives in danger.
For as long as he lives, Levi is going to stay true to Mrs. Ackerman's promise. Even if he couldn't always be there physically he'll protect Mikasa. That's all he ever wanted: to keep her and everything precious to her safe.
