Levi stared into the hearth of the fireplace, the flaky soot as cold as midnight sand and the metal grate held the void. A dark and cold sight, it was.

The memories Levi revisited were mostly pleasant, but ofttimes the haunting past, whether dreadful or pleasant, could leave a person with their bones rattling inside them, that and the temperature had dropped drastically as the hours crept deeper into the night; though the exact hour couldn't be called. The grandfather clock near the bookshelf never moved its hands off 3:00 since they arrived. Time stretched by slowly in the cabin, but the decade-old story had taken up a good portion of the evening, which left the two soldiers in the dead of night; Levi felt about as stiff and cold as a carcass, thus he found it eerily fitting.

But time wasn't all that important now, neither was the temperature.

There was, however, one element keeping him from full-blown shivering and teeth chattering. Somewhere during the midst of his tale, Mikasa, while still heeding his words, had wordlessly scudded between Levi thighs for warmth. Without hesitation, she had recumbed back on him, listening carefully to every word he spoke. The ghost of the past proven to leave them both with unshakable chills and frankly, they both needed some physically comfort to get through it. And so, Levi had complied with her silent request for warmth and snugged his arms around her, nearing fumbling over his tongue and misplacing vital pieces of memories in the process, for his attention track wore thin at the touch of her curves.

The living room had grown quiet now with the absence of Levi's voice, yet there they still were, huddled together and feeding off each others warmth as they brooded and reflected in the darkness.

While safely concealed from Mikasa's eyes, Levi had caught the strained pull of his lips stretching into an upward curve. Between the nostalgic sting on his jaw and tasting the sequence of treasured memories still fresh on his tongue, his chest ached as if submerged in water, and drowning in the past as he were, he nearly forgot the dire truth of his and Mikasa's engagement. When that thought caught in the web of his mind, everything else dispelled, burning away the memories of the struggles in the underground and even the carefree time spent at the Ackerman's cabin. All that remained was the present and what was before him—Mikasa. Everything else deserted him, all attention silently rested on the static young woman who had yet to say a word.

In response to trying to digest the fact that Levi just revealed his biggest secret, the bind around Mikasa tighten, and she wormed uncomfortably under the restricting embrace. Rather than pull away, she placed a chilled hand on Levi's forearm, giving his goosebump-ridden skin a rub with her thumb to melt his icy nerves; the touch combing the bristled hair that had stuck up.

The soothing gesture reminded him of Mikasa's mother—the way she could sooth him with just a touch. Even after all these years, Levi saw so much similarity between the two of them. Not only in looks, (thought Mikasa was a splitting image of her mother) but she was also compassionate, even if she mainly showed that side exclusively to Eren. That made her resemble her mother even more, Levi thought. All the woman wanted was for her family to be happy and safe. That was why she had welcomed Levi to the family as Mikasa's betrothed. She saw him as family and she saw him as a worthy suitor that would take care of her daughter.

Up until recently, Mikasa believed Eren was her only family, and that protectiveness of her mother and father had passed down to her; that overwhelming importance of family ran through her veins. Maybe that's why she was so devoted to Eren, he was the only person she could release that protective energy toward...or maybe she was simply in love with him. Levi didn't know, and now wasn't the time to start figuring out their relationship.

The press of Levi's fluctuating chest against Mikasa's back felt surprisingly warm to her. Absently, while baking in his heat, she reflected back on his story that had also warmed her in other ways.

Clear pictures from the past still lingering around her, spinning and jumbling up like scattered photographs. A collective montage of her mother and father appeared in the darkness, her old cabin home, the beautiful lands she was born and raised on. All these memories were imprinted and she could picture everything...except for Levi. She remembered a few of the times he mentioned, but she couldn't clearly picture him from her own point of view; all that appeared was a dark cavern of void. It was as if a few fragments of the memories remain, but Levi was erased. It was unsettling, and subconsciously she found herself squeezing at the arm of the man that she could not remember.

A week, that's the amount of time she spent with Levi back then. Considering that, she figured not remembering him from her unripe age wasn't unusual, but still discouraging to know there were pleasant memories of her family she could not be honored to remember. That went for Levi and Kenny too, not just her parents. As hard as it was to swallow the news...they were her family. Kenny was her blood uncle, and she was sure that was the most shocking revelation she would learn on this mission. If only she would've known at the time that there was a whole lot more to it.

Who would've thought—Levi was her family, not by blood, not by two families joining a union and forming into one, but by their own engagement. Feeling limp and heavy with thought, she sunk even deeper against Levi—her betrothed. Through a clenched throat, she sucked in some brisk wind, chattering her cold lips.

He'll give her all the time she needed—it's a lot to absorb, and he didn't skimp out on many details. He even went as far as adding his own commentary, his personal thoughts to heighten the memories. A part of him was overjoyed at the prospect of Mikasa listening to his inner-thoughts, his dear and dreaded memories, and emotions. It was a special thing to share with someone you loved, unrequited or not. Because he opened up, he felt closer to her by sharing a personal moment together.

Froth boiled in his jumpy stomach, his cheeks feeling burned, perhaps from the frost biting him, or because the woman he loved was snug in his arms, and had offered her attentive ears to him. Levi hadn't felt this happy since his time spent with the Ackerman family—but as an afterthought, he couldn't help but feel guilty for taking joy in something that might've caused her pain or discomfort. Bringing up her parents, dropping the betrothed bomb on her... All of that probably left her so miserable she couldn't speak.

Levi didn't feel as happy all of a sudden, but when Mikasa cleared her throat and sniffed from the impending sickness or weep, he minded her fully and closed off his own thoughts as he waited for her to speak for the first time since Levi closed the book on his—their story.

Before Mikasa could bring herself to remark on the past involving her parents, she felt Levi's story was incomplete and had a followup question that she squeezed up from her clenched throat. "What did you do after you ran away from Kenny?"

Although Levi saw her belated response coming, he still became startled by her unexpected words. He had retracted with a jolt, but covered it up with a subtle shift in weight. He expected her to comment on her parents or the engagement, or have some sickened reaction to the story, but instead she asked about the personal life that followed after they departed ten years ago. "I escaped with my friends Isabel and Farlan. We stayed on the move so Kenny couldn't track me down in the underground. I was filled with guilt for years, Mikasa—I wanted to become a good person so I could make you and your parents proud, but by then I knew our plans to get married were gone and I became more corrupt with every passing day," and then, Levi narrated his tale, beginning to end and he hadn't a doubt in his mind Mikasa would be the first and last to ever hear his pitiful biography. He exposed one of his most cherished memories to her, he might as well level the balance by telling his worse memories as well.

Down in the grungy underground, Levi built up a name and reputation, though not a noble one worth bragging over. Unrestrained and defiant, Levi stole and cheated and fought dirty and bloody. With bad influences all around, he soon learned all he needed to know, and also learned things he shouldn't have. At one point in his corrupt life, he even became promiscuous until even sex felt numb to him.

One day, he simply stopped feeling, forcing him to give up nearly anything that once granted him just a pinch of pleasure because his body naturally counter-reacted anything that could cause eventual harm, like poison or a fever, because his happiness always turned to pain. Soon he couldn't enjoy a single damn thing in his miserable life. The hope he had with Kenny and all his fairy tale dreams of getting married to Mikasa, raising a family, living a normal life and being apart of hers again were all gone. At that point, he went with the muddy current and lost his direction, struggling to keep his head above water, knowing he could drown any second.

Everything was ripped from him at once. His birth parents were dead, Kenny betrayed him and wanted to make him into a monster and he ran away from that fate, but became another species of a monster anyway. He didn't feel pain or emotions and he didn't feel guilt when he hurt others. The only people he came to care for at the time were Isabel and Farlan—but even they were taken from him.

The dread staked in his chest even deeper until he finally buckled under the pain. But while on his knees, begging for his own death to free him from the life of misery, he had looked up. An outlet presented himself before him. Erwin had burned the dreary shadow around him with a hopeful glow. The Commander showed him the hope the Survey Corps could offer, and Levi picked himself up and followed blindly, because the only thing he knew how to do in his pathetic life was follow any thin string of hope.

While always fearing that thread would snap, Levi went on with his new life as a soldier, but even seeing the outside world lost its charm after a while. Killing monsters didn't grant him satisfaction after a few dozen strikes with his blade. Seeing more of his companions die mission after mission just blackened Levi's heart more. The dead haunted him nightly in his dreams, blaming him, calling him a failure, their dying screams waking him repeatedly until he couldn't even enjoy the oblivion that came with sleep anymore.

It didn't matter how many thousands of civilians in these forsaken walls idolize him and called him a hero; Humanity's Strongest, as they dubbed him as. The title meant nothing to him because the people he wanted approval from either betrayed him, died, or were taken from him and overall, he wasn't the hero they wrapped him up to be. Just a corrupt lowlife without a purpose, without happiness or hope, that's all he ever thought he'd be. Just a pathetic man that followed a thin shed of hope.

Levi followed that deteriorating string into the courtroom after hearing about the Titan boy who plugged up Wall Maria. When he heard the sweet name "Mikasa Ackerman" called to speak, all lost hope returned in that hazy instant, strengthening that wearing string.

As she spoke, Levi turned a corner glance at her down the row, her voice still as sweet and soothing as honey, but there was a sadness laced in now. A low drone of deep sorrow and Levi soon found out why.

All while miraculously maintaining his composure, his emotions warred between the happiness of seeing Mikasa again and the dread of learning the news that her parents were brutally murdered. It felt like someone indirectly told him his own parents were dead. One would think hearing news like that wouldn't hurt as bad the second time—but it hurt even worse; his heart ached and he no longer cared about the scrabble between the conflicting opinions bouncing from one side of the room to the other, but at the same time his chest fluttered at the notion of fate bringing them into same room after ten years.

Maybe his luck ran out at that point, because the Titan boy he was order to beat just so happened to be a close friend of Mikasa's. Levi didn't want to harm a kid, but it was their only chance of gaining custody of him. That, and he couldn't sit back as cravens called Mikasa a conspiring monster, too, and threatened to dissect her. The brutal show luckily distracted everyone from their disputes and worked in the Survey Corps favor, but Mikasa had pinned an immediate grudge on him in that instant. That fierce stare she stabbed him with made him hold back a smirk. There was no mistaking it, even while she wore a face like that, that was definitely his sweet Mikasa.

Even during all the chaos, time seemed to stop for him. Even though her face twisted wickedly and she looked a second away from strangling him with his own cravat, she matured and grew more beautiful than he ever imagined. That innocent threat she had given him as a child before his departure back to the underground replayed in his head during that very moment.

"I'll be very mad if you take too long."

Indeed, her reaction was fitting. He had taken far too long to see her again—so long she didn't even recognized him. But that didn't matter, because once he saw her, he knew he would never take his eyes off her again. Never will he let her fade from his sight again and become a small, unreachable dot on the horizon. The last time he drifted too far he lost her for ten long miserable years.

Never again will he walk through life numb and without purpose. Protect Mikasa in every way he possibly can. That was the goal he needed, the one he thrived for but couldn't complete due to the circumstances, but circumstances had brought them together again. The reason why he felt empty all those years was because he was going down the wrong path, living the wrong life, like an owl soaring in the day; it didn't make sense and it went against his whole purpose and the way he was programmed.

That little girl he once knew had grown, he soon realized, strong and smart and beautiful. And she had just as much taken from her as him, and likely even more. Her wonderful parents, and her home were lost twice. The only family she had left was the Yeager's, and one was dead and the other missing. Eren was all she had left, and the only family Levi truly had left was her.

"I spent every day with you, holding on to this secret, and I'm honestly sorry for lying to you." He sincerely feared she would feel betrayed and he didn't know how to atone. "I just...I didn't know how to tell you. We never had a moment alone like this to talk about it privately."

His follow up story hit Mikasa like a sudden tumble to the ground; leaving her disoriented and queasy, feeling like she was propelled all about. The emotion in Levi's voice was raw and if she felt daring enough, she would've liked to turn to see his expression. Surely, another person sat behind her, not the abnormal man with the stone-cold mask she came to know.

Now that they were on the topic of regrets and grief, she had a few confessions and apologies she wanted to get off her chest. "If anyone should be sorry," she maundered, "it's me. I know I wasn't the best underling. I talk back to you and let my personal feelings get in the way. You never scolded me for it, though—I guess that's when I realized you were a good person. You've been through a lot, Levi, and that's something I didn't guess. I never could even began to wonder about what sort of background you came from—I appreciate you sharing that with me. I know it took a lot to say." She heard many rough tales while eavesdropping on other recruits sob-stories, but she had to admit that Levi's full story was indeed the saddest her ears had filtered thus far. Levi was truly cursed with a vile case of tragic hero syndrome.

"...And thank you for listening," was all Levi managed to say. He did go overboard here and there, but it only takes one word to turn into a speech, just like it only takes one Titan knocking down a wall to make cities infested with the horrible things.

Looking back, Mikasa made the right choice by choosing to envy him; to secretly look up to him. Levi was strong, not just physically (although that strength of his couldn't be matched) but his mind and emotions were always well guarded, impenetrable, yet he had told her all these private thoughts and snippets of his life. He trusted her with his weaknesses—it took a true warrior to admit to their faults and fears.

With the life he endured, the man deserved to hear some feedback, some praise to know that all his choices weren't made in vain. "You may have made some mistakes, and maybe there's some choices you regret, but at least you kept my mothers promise, if that counts for something," and it did, according to Levi. Her mother was very important to him. Tight lipped, she bobbed her head while replaying the times Levi had protected her and those important to her as if further convincing herself.

"You think so?" Levi's tone spiked dubiously, somehow he gathered enough nerve to prompt her to confirm. The last he checked, he failed her mother's promise. All this time, he hasn't been protecting Mikasa, not her life nor her fragile heart. Only recently had he become involved again in her life, and even now he failed constantly. Eren, someone precious to her, had been kidnapped and hurt more times than Levi could count, her friends were suffering and she had more heartache then she puts on—the cold mask she wore can't disguise her around others like himself that style themselves in the same masks for the same purposes.

Mikasa had, for the most part, been keeping herself alive. While Levi was playing thug in the underground, her parents were murdered. That's something he could have prevented if he were there like he was supposed to be. If things got bad with Kenny, her mother told him to come home and he should have—he would've made sure that no one laid a finger on any of them. It was Eren who saved her then. And it was Eren's parents she lost again. More heartache was placed on Mikasa because Levi wasn't around to protect her. He thought staying away would protect her. How wrong he was.

"You did," she assured him, "you always look out for not just me, but all of us. I know you and I don't always get along—well, that's mainly my fault for talking out of place often, but just know I do appreciate everything you do and all the sacrifices you make, we all do."

It meant a lot to hear that about his squad, out of her mouth too to boot. Those kids were important to Levi; he would've felt like he was floating on clouds if he didn't feel like a block of heavy ice.

"Thanks. That's reassuring."

The silence remained for long minutes after that. Mikasa stared into darkened space that her eyes had adjusted to long ago, tracing the brick crevices of the chimney with her eyes until a question jumped unbidden from her mouth. "Are we...still technically engaged?"

Levi braced himself with a deep breath, inflating his chest against Mikasa's back. "Yes. Your parents wrote out their consent and Kenny signed it off as my guardian. The sealed document was brought to consultation and validated. It was never broken or voided." He supposed she would've found out about it eventually when she wanted to get married. No one can have two engagements pending at once. At least she heard it from his own mouth first. "I should have told you sooner. Once all this mess is over with, we can go void it together."

Swiveling around in his lap, her face turned to his alarmingly close. "Now, hold on," she said, but she didn't even have a follow up reason at the ready.

Levi wanted to back away, but being pinned as he were he could only flinch back and let down a stiff gulp as Mikasa trapped him in her shadowy gaze. He had expected a quick "okay." This is a direction in the conversation he wasn't prepared to take. What does she plan on saying next?

While she gathered her thoughts with a brooding wrinkle on her brow, Levi waited and it was tantalizing.

"You want to break the engagement?" she asked carefully and dreadfully slow, uncertain of her own words coming out of her mouth.

"...Why wouldn't I?" he questioned with a voice as confused as the outlines of her darkened features. He didn't mean to offend her by questioning her, he just didn't understand how to answer such a question. Yes, they were engaged, but that was all arranged under Kenny's brilliant plan. Now that Levi was no longer an heir to Kenny's work, and her parents were departed, there was no need for the engagement to remain pending.

"I just..." she flushed, tossing her head wildly as if to wake her up. "You're right. That was stupid to ask."

"I didn't say it was stupid, I was just surprised."

Mikasa was quiet for a while, giving her mind a chance to catch up with her heart, which was apparently speaking for her because she hadn't a clue what she was even considering...and then it clicked. Before she could review the new realization, she spoke aloud, "I know you probably just see me as the same child you met back then...but... My parents approved of you," she blurted out. "They wanted us together."

". . . . . ." Levi fell speechless. Now he saw where she's going with this. All this time he set himself up for the predictable concerning his and Mikasa's relationship and its been everything but, and right now proved that. He figured she would want the engagement gone as soon as possible to sever all ties between them—but she was saying she's against that idea. It made it seem like he solely wanted to get the engagement voided (which, of course, wasn't the case). But really, what other option was there? Voiding the engagement was the only thing that would make Mikasa happy in the long run. Going along with some corruptly created engagement wasn't a wise course of action.

It pained him to say, but since he's in a particularly truthful mood, he's going to stick to it. "Mikasa, I know it seems like your parents wanted us together, but you wouldn't be happy marrying a guy like me. I understand that was your parents wish, but when you became of age, you were going to be asked like I was. The engagement wasn't set in stone. Even if your parents were alive today, they were going to give you a choice, just as I was given one."

"And you said yes," she reminded him flatly.

Levi swallowed his words. He didn't have the guts to confirm that.

Mikasa stared blankly, her throat infested with dryness. "All this time, I always felt so alone, like I had no one but Eren and Armin. Now that I know I have an uncle and a fiancé...I don't know, I just..." she thrashing toward him, her sudden burst of energy had Levi recoiling. "I feel happy. Happy. I don't even remember the last time I felt genuinely happy."

Mikasa looked anything but happy as she cradled her head and fought back tears, but it was just so much to absorb. Trying to settle down, she turned her face from him. "When I tried to think of the future, I would become depressed at the idea of getting married because my father and mother would never be there to give their approval or meet the man I love. Without that, the concept of marriage felt pointless. But they met you. Accepted you. They thought you were a worthy man for me. I'd hate to go against by parents judgment—if they saw something in you, then I can't ignore it, I have to try to see what they saw, too." And honestly, she already started to before she even knew about his connection to her family. On the outside, Levi appeared to be a cold and detached man without any care for others, and Mikasa held a grudge against him for a long time before seeing with her own eyes how selfless he was, how he tried to cheer up others in his own roundabout way, and how deeply he cared about others well being.

As much as Levi wanted to selfishly agree and convince her further to follow her parents judgment, he wasn't that cruel. She's still too traumatized and young to realize how big of a mistake that would be. "It was a long time ago. I'm sure your parents would approve any man you picked. You're a smart girl and you'd find a good suitor on your own," he paused here and reluctantly spat out, "like Eren."

"I don't want Eren," she snapped, her expression harsh and an instant later she almost slipped and said 'I want you', but she luckily didn't say it, because she had no idea what those words meant yet. She didn't know how she felt about Levi, or Eren for that matter, and right now she couldn't figure it out because she had enough to think about. Mikasa might not know who or what she wants, but she does know for certain that she undoubtedly wanted to make her parents proud.

"I'm not romantically in love with him," she calmed down to explain. "Not anyone. Not at the moment. I thought I never would fall in love. But my parents..." She knew Levi couldn't see her expression well in the darkness, but she tried to render a look worth pitying. "I know, it sounds so stupid and immature but my parents wish was to see us get married. And you made a promise to my mother to take care of me. Levi, isn't this meant to be? Isn't this the right choice? All of this, Kenny suddenly coming back to into your life, us all coming here together, the truth rising to the light, I think there was a reason, and I know calling it fate sounds ridiculous but I don't know what else to call it."

With her palm resting on her wavering heart beat, she paused here to suck in a quivering breath, checking on Levi in doing so, who was gingerly staring at her. "I know I sound selfish and immature and I realize the engagement was a plan conducted by Kenny. But Levi, I don't want to void the engagement. Not if I don't have to. You gave your choice, and now I'm old enough to give mine. If we gave it a chance and took it slow, I'm sure we can somehow work together and make it work. But...it's okay if you don't want to. I won't be mad and wherever my parents are, I'm sure they'll understand, but please, Levi, consider it. I lost them before I could ever do anything special for them or make them proud. The least I could do if marry the man they engaged me to."

In that moment something overcame Levi. Emotions energized through him like surging lightening. Thoughts tangled dangerously with impulses. Desire became desperate and his lips became bound to hers before they knew what hit either of them.

With shoulders stiff and erect, Mikasa halted her breathing and her body shut down, aside from her heart that was hammering so hard it hurt. A cold sweat beaded down Mikasa's skin beneath her clothes, that suddenly felt sweltering and glued to her skin. A burn scorched her ears and her heartbeat throbbed within the cartilage when her lips were pressed against firmer. Even though her eyes were wide open, she could scarcely see, but what she focused on was what she could feel...and she felt everything. Her heart panging, her blood coursing, the heatwave crashing over her face, the small nose rubbing against hers and the plump press against her tightly locked lips. All of these intruding sensations barged through her at once, and between her own body heating up and the warm lips clung to hers, Mikasa melted like ice.

Just as she relaxed her lips and slit her eyes close, Levi had lurched away, scrambling backward.

"Shit." Evident panic struck him, and he panted wildly to catch his breath. "I...I am so sorry. I don't know why I just did that."

He tapped his lips, as if checking if they were his own that held the touch of hers on them. Why did he just lose all control over himself? In those short seconds, time entered a slow interval and all he could think about was her lips—but now everything, fear, regret, guilt, came rushing into his mind all at once. He never thought he'd ever touch those lips, but he had just forced a kiss upon Mikasa before she could even refuse.

That's the lowest of the low. He's trash and he was expecting a punch to the face any second, and he deserved it. Actually, if she didn't punch him, he would encourage her to do so.

"No...it's...okay?" Her statement rose in question, as if she wasn't actually sure.

"What do you mean it's okay? No, it's not." He thrusted his body forward for emphasis, but Mikasa scooped herself up from his direct scorn, forcing Levi to follow her silhouette around the room as he yelled at shadows, "I fucked up, and I want you to admit that I fucked up. You don't have to say it's okay just because you're afraid since I'm your superior." He never wanted her to feel obligated to agree on everything he said and did just because he's a higher rank than her. That's a horrible feeling he knew too well.

A match stuck and a somber halo burned the darkness and highlighted Mikasa's face. Levi gawked, studying the casting shadows flickering on her features. She looked everything and anything but afraid.

"I didn't say it was okay because I think you can take advantage of me, idiot." The pinched match hovered over the wick of the candle on the mantel. The flame guttered and a smell of sulfur perfumed the living room when she shook out the match. "You might be my Captain but I'll call you out when you're wrong. I just happen to agree with you most of the time."

While Levi brooded densely in silence, Mikasa settled back down on the furry rug beside him.

"So...Let me get this straight," Levi struggled to grasped onto the words he'd thought he'd never speak in a situation he never thought he'd find himself in. "You...didn't mind me kissing you?"

"Well..." Mikasa leaned back on her hands, tugging her lips to the side; they still felt as tingly as her fluttering heart. "I would have liked to be a little more prepared. You see, that was my first kiss."

Covering his face with his hands, Levi clawed at the wrinkles in his forehead. "Damnit. I'm sorry." Now she had a lousy first kiss with some old pervert because he couldn't control his urges.

"I didn't dislike it." She didn't dislike a kiss from Captain Levi. What a shock, more shocking than learning she's engaged to the man.

Hands swiping down from his face, he slid them to cover his still tingling lips, unveiling the most stunned glare Mikasa will ever see from Levi. "...Really?" he didn't trust his hearing at all, but with his eyes bulged in disbelief, he saw for himself how calm she appeared, with a light layer of red flushed on her cheeks and a glossy film over her dazed eyes.

Even with her belated consent, Levi still felt like shit for pinning that on her out of the blue and stealing her first kiss on top of it all. There's only so much shock he could pile on his poor girl before she snapped under the weight. He made some dangerous risks tonight, and he's willing to own up to the mistakes fully. "I really fucked up," Levi muttered, ripping on his bangs until it stung his scalp, punishing himself for acting so impulsively. He had fucked up many times before and made a lot of regrettable choices—but this was by far the most idiotic things he'd ever done.

Already recovered from the shock, Mikasa leaned closer to her Captain suffering from a nervous break down, hearing him curse himself out over what just happened.

"Hey..." Mikasa reached out to him tentatively, she's never saw her Captain in such a state. With all the intense emotion he's showing, she couldn't help but think he resembled Eren. Never once did she ever think she would see Levi show so much emotion, it's like his inner gears that kept him under control broke down and now he's malfunctioning.

As he rubbed his face vigorously, she placed her hand on his back to comfort him—and he nervously jerked a mile, but she kept her hand there, as if trying to tame a feral.

"Please, try to calm down."

After reliving his past and kissing the woman he loved, calm was most definitely not a mood he could retaliate to right now. But for Mikasas sake, Levi did try his best to compose himself. Abrasively frictioning his palms against his lap, he sniffed in a jagged breath through his nose, trying to disregard the nerves.

"I know this will sound out of line to say, but do I need to remind you that I said I want to marry you? It will take time until we would behave like a husband and wife, but I know once we got to that point we would be doing more than kissing, so..."

Slowly, almost frighteningly, Levi swept the room and his small gems of blue landed on her. Both of them sat still, staring at the others flickering features and the fire orbs swimming in their eyes.

Maybe mentioning her desire to wed him wasn't wise to bring up. He was already battling his emotions and she went and set a new ton on him. But her mind was already on this track and following the course. There's no way she could back down once her goals were set.

Right now, Levi was trying to gulp down the lump in his throat while his heart pinched from the sudden realization he'd just fell on. He had became so tangled in the idea of her wanting to marry him, just the bland concept of it, that he didn't even realize that Mikasa was suggesting an actual romantic relationship together. Marriage always felt like a tool that was used for a conned benefit, with the shitty way Kenny raised him, he half believed that, but reliving his time with Mikasa's family helped him remember what real marriages were made of. The way her mother and father were, the bond they shared, the love they had for their daughter—Mikasa didn't want to get married for the sake of gain, she wanted them together in that same way her parents were.

She might just be considering it for the sake of her parents wish, and she probably doesn't hold any feelings for Levi, but she's willing to give it a try—willing to give him a try.

Noticing Levi was still quite rattled, Mikasa smacked his back and forced some amusement into her tone in hopes of lessening the tension. "Geez, you're always so dramatic, don't think I don't notice you always beating yourself up when things go wrong."

That gesture reminded him of her father, except Mikasa was a hell of a lot stronger than him and the friendly pat felt like a stinging wound.

The friendly smack and cheering words didn't seem to take him out of his trance, though, so she set her mind on another consoling method while she had the floor to herself. Curling her knees to her chest, she wiggling her toes as she reflected back. "You know... I do remember little fragments from the time we met." It had clearly came to her when they kissed, that moment helped clear the dusty memories from a hidden crevice in her mind, it was similar to the special moment they had just created.

The distant-look in his eyes finally melted away, her words had lured him back to her, exposing the attentive stare beneath.

"It's hard to explain, but I didn't remember you exactly, I was never able to remember your face or your name or anything that important. I was very lonely as a child, so when I thought back to certain memories I thought I must have had an imaginary friend or something and my memories were warped because of that. It sounds silly, but I had memories of this faceless man in my mind...I'm pretty sure it was you because one memory stood out to me: when we watched the sunset. I remember that. Every morning I watched it alone, but I knew someone was with me a few times, it must have been during your stay with us. When I would think back to it, I knew it wasn't one of my parents—we rarely had visitors, yet I still remembered another presence there. I always figured I made a very convincing imaginary friend and my memories mistook him for a real person." She let her lips stretch into a smile, shaking her head ironically. "I can't believe it was you all this time. At least one mystery in this world had been solved."

"About damn time." With his elbow propped on his leg, he chortled in his hand in an attempt to loosen up his anxiety. At least she remembered something—that felt comforting that he didn't cherish these memories alone.

Direct affection was not a dish he tasted often, he was unsure how to reply to her—there were no words that he knew of that could describe how he felt right now, about any of this, especially her consent to their engagement. But in spite of being lost for words, that complicated feeling showed physically. His expression felt loose, unwrinkled and soft for the first time in years.

To Mikasa, his kind, unguarded eyes locked on her told her everything she wanted to hear. A complicated feeling began to simmer inside her, too, and without meaning to, she grabbed hold of the sleeve of his arm with a slight tug, not knowing how to word the request she desired.

Bemused, Levi tilted his head at her and approached this unexpected matter as gently as he could. "What is it, Mikasa?"

"I..." her voice cracked, she felt her jaw lock down, as if trying to keep her words sealed, but she pried open her lips by force. "I don't know how to say this subtly—can you kiss me again? This time while I'm prepared."

With his lips partially divided, Levi made a sound here that didn't quite resemble human language; the little breathless utter stretched out on a weak note as he studied her ruddy cheeks, her averted eyes and the way a ball of his sleeve's fabric squeezed in her fist.

He'd kiss her another thousand times if she asked for it. Those silver eyes, swirled with gold from the feeble flame, seemed to melt in their low-lidden sockets when she glanced up at him. With a stiff nod and an even stiffer swallow, he rose a tentative hand and ran it up her cheek, combing the fringe from her face, and then leaned gently into her lips. Their lips only pressed together a few seconds, light like a delicate touch of a feather.

How could such a simple gesture make Mikasa's heart sink to her stomach and pulse through her entire body?

When Levi pulled back to check expression, she had her eyes closed still, her lips tingling and still partially puckered and he relished the expression while he could.

When her eyes finally slit open, she blinked a few times, eyelashes as heavy lead. Her entire body felt heavy, in fact. If it weren't for Levi holding her head in place, she feared it would snap from the weight and roll away.

Raising her numb arm, Mikasa erected a finger up, hoping Levi would catch her drift because she felt too faint to speak, but unfortunately he just looked dumbfounded with an upturned brow. Weakly, she let in a breath, "One more, I need one more kiss to know how I feel," she slurred as if drunk, and a beat later Levi lunged forward for another kiss, his mouth open this time, but with too much acceleration, he toppled over the poor dazed girl, knocking her right onto the rug.

"Didn't mean to do that," he pressed up on his palms to removed some of his weight from her. "I don't know my own strength sometimes."

Stifling a giggle, Mikasa was still dizzy from the sudden shift. "Believe me, I understand."

His eyes melted in hers and soon all tension on his face dispersed. The back of his hand grazed over her face, barely touching the skin, and Mikasa sewed their fingers together into a tight stitch and moved his hand closer, wanting to feel his touch. The pores of his hands were calloused and dry from hard labor, but surprisingly warm. She never realized until now how big his hands were. With their fingers still braided together, he used his other hand to outline the very shape of her lips; his finger tip gliding over her silky lips—the pink hue of them glistened with his own saliva from when he kissed her last.

Levi stared down at her from above, seeing how her hair strains tufted out as wildly and untamed as the fur rug below her. All his mouth could do was gap speechlessly.

"What is it?" She couldn't quite read his eyes, and the line of his lip made it impossible to tell if he was subtly smiling or subtly frowning.

"You're beautiful," he whispered in a voice she never heard before.

Mikasa's back arched before her weak neck could lift her dizzy head, but she managed to reach Levi with pursed lips, joining their lips together softly before reclining back down, taking him with her with a gentle pull on his collar.

She never imagined herself ever touching Levi, only when she would think of beating him in revenge to the court hearing, but in spite of this, Mikasa rode her hands up his chest ever so naturally and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, accepting his body over hers fully.

As his body rubbed up against hers, his stomach felt like it was twisting in a knot, and soon their tongues tied together just as tight.

A type of chill ran through her that she never felt before—it wasn't a shudder from being cold, but a wave of a numbing prickle that covered every inch of her body, paying extra special mind between her thighs, where Levi had snugged his hips between. Mikasa held onto him tight, grasping at the fabric of his shirt, because it felt like the floorboards had disappeared beneath her and she was falling weightlessly in the air.

Mikasa moaned into his mouth, because she had something to say. Rather sloppily, their lips broke apart. "I—" she forced a solemn face to hide her embarrassment. "I like the way you kiss." Not that she had anyone to compare to, but Levi, without a doubt, knew what he was doing—she didn't know how he did that thing with his tongue, but wow, it certainly felt wonderful.

Rubbing over her facial scar tenderly with a swipe of his thumb, his gaze was permanently locked on her overcast eyes. "And I like kissing you," he offered her a thin smile, and Mikasa couldn't believe she kissed the lips that had formed that beautiful smile.

As she relished in his touch, her lids curtained over her sight. Her emotions gained wings and she felt daring enough to explore even those most risky territories. She had the urge to touch Levi everywhere, and this was the first time in her life that she didn't have full control over her body. She doesn't fully understand these urges or sensations, but she couldn't restrain them either. Another peck landed on her and her eyes popped open, but soon slit closed contently, and the heat of passion between their lips burned twice as hot.

Levi had to be dreaming. Or dead. Maybe he never made it back from the horse stable and his lifeless body was eternally sleeping under a blanket of snow. But if that was the case, so be it. He accepted this version of purgatory, even if he's trapped in this cabin forever it would be a winter paradise. Nothing outside this cabin mattered anymore. Not the war, the Titans, the MP's. Nothing mattered except for Mikasa and that shy, genuine smile she gave him when they parted.

With emotions swelling and overwhelming, they took a break from exploring each others mouths. Resting their heads beside each other on the pillow with the fur blanket pulled up tight, Mikasa scooter in closer, stuffing her chin in his shoulder. Levi wrapped an arm around her, rubbing her shoulder blade.

She murmured into his fabric of his shirt, and Levi hummed to prompt her to repeat herself.

"I'm sorry," she said.

"What are you apologizing for?" He hadn't the faintest clue. If anyone should apologize it's him. He still couldn't fathom what just happened. It would hit him by morning, surely.

"I never knew we were family. I would have treated you much differently if I knew."

"Why are you worrying about something like that now?" He shook her gently to shake her out of those useless thoughts. "You weren't as bad as you might think," it's not like she ever hurt his feeling, and what does him being technical family to her have to do with the way she treats him? Just like the time they played House together, he felt like he wasn't understanding something. He didn't understand how playing pretend worked, and he also had no idea how family worked.

"Family is important to me. Very, very important," her throat sounded slick with saliva, as if on the verge of tears. She couldn't help but feel guilty. It was illogical to beat herself up about it, she knew, because she had no way of knowing the truth before Levi told her, but she wanted to make it up to him, and maybe now she can. She could give him the family he always wanted. He doesn't have to fear losing her like everyone else because she's strong enough so death wouldn't even dare try to part them. He doesn't have to be alone anymore or unloved. She will protect him. Just as she does with Eren and Armin. She had said in the past that there's only so much room in her heart, but she can make room for Levi. Hell, there was a growing slot there even before she knew they were betrothed. She will give that spot to him because he earned it.

Scooting closer, her nose brushed against his, her lips inching near but not touching. Being the impatient man he was, Levi moistened his lips with a lick and connected them, petting her hair as she rolled her hips closer to mold into his body. The rhythm of his heart beat pumping wildly against her chest synced with her own.

Feeling lulled, Mikasa curled her body close his, closing her eyes and Levi soon did the same, exhausted from their most adventuring night yet, and to think they didn't even need to leave the living room for this emotional draining journey.

She fell asleep first, breathing softly against Levi's collarbone. Levi swept her fringe from her face, tucking the strain behind her ear so he could get a look at her. It was dim and the candle was flickering weakly, but his eyes could still make out her glowing features. With their arms and legs tangled together, he kept that beautiful picture in mind when he closed his eyes, as if he couldn't even bear to not look at her even when he slept.

~x~

The peaceful choir of chirping birds awoke Mikasa from her slumber the next morning. She squirmed, feeling tightly restrained but was too weary to figure out why. With a little grumble, she opened her lids and met two narrow eyes staring intently at her. Startled, she gasped and Mikasa shot straight up into a sitting position, untangling herself from the arms fastened around her.

Her mind and hair sat is disarray as she scanned around the living room, which was brimming with morning sun and looked completely different than it did under the shadows of night. Many things felt different, actually. Short bolts of recent memories swarmed her mind like an ambush. Hunching forward, she cradled her forehead as they all came rushing in like an overflowing river with a broken levee. Kenny, a well know serial killer, was her uncle. Levi knew her parents. They all met when she was a child. Levi was her fiancé. And her and her Captain passionately made-out last night until they fell asleep in each others arms.

As crazy as it all sounded, a normal person would've passed it all off as a dream, and she did for a split second before witnessing those unreadable eyes staring at her upon wakening. Massaging her temple, she winced and bared her teeth to the pain. She wondered if this was what hangovers felt like. Her head aching was to be expected, though. Too much to absorb, too much to think about.

Warily with intended discretion, Levi rose off the pillow soon after her, making some space between them by shifting back. He studied her long and hard from his distance; she obviously had a headache, that much was clear and she looked as stressed as ever, but he supposed that was natural. If she woke up chipper he'd probably be terrified. Levi thought it best not to say anything, she's better off mulling over this herself without any of his meddling, unless she wanted to talk to him. A lot happened last night. The realizations might be arriving to her late and she might not be handling it well.

With the two of them alone in silence as they were, Mikasa searched her mind to find a substance to fill the awkwardness. She needed someone to quickly disrupt this uncomfortable aura between them.

"I'll...I'll get Kenny," she stumbled as she shifted to stand, and her knees caved and her body swayed, causing her to ram her shoulder against a corner in the wall. All along she could feel the pressure of Levi's eyes resting on her, seeing her all the way out of view, which made her more self aware of her walking (if you could even call tripping and stumbling walking).

When she escaped into the hall, Mikasa rewarded herself a breath against the log walls. With all that happened last night, it all felt natural under the heat of passion with all those emotions surrounding her, but now that the heat of passion extinguished, she couldn't help but feel uncomfortable. It's not that she regretted it...it's all just a lot to digest right now. It may just be seen as a simple kiss to some, but she kissed a man she never thought she'd kiss, a man she never thought she'd be engaged to, a man she never thought she would still be very willing to marry.

Tousling her hair to clear the thoughts and get back on track, Mikasa approached the basement door, realizing too late that she had ran out of Levi's range so fast that she forgot to grab the key to the basement, but the thought came to her late when she had already latched a grip on the handle—and a foreboding dread filled her when the knob twisted in her hand.

The door was unlocked. How careless of them, they got so carried away by recalls from the past and emotions that they forgot to lock the basement door last night after Kenny headed off to bed.

Warily, she climbed down the steep steps, calling out to Kenny, but the only reply she received was her own echo. She warped around the brick corner, and set her eyes where Kenny dwelled on the cot.

But only a bundle of blankets met her urgent glare.

Before she let shock invade her face, she warped her head around and powered her steps to every corner of the basement, keeping her eyes open for the tall structure of black that formed her uncle. She looked behind the lined up shelves and clutter and barrels.

But she didn't find a trace of him.

Whirling around, she leaped up the stairs, skipping steps at a time and arrived to the top short of breath, coiling her head left and right down the hall. She shot her eyes forward into the bedroom right across, opening the door hard enough to cause the knob to dent a hole in the wall.

Empty.

She jogged up to the bathroom—empty again.

Mikasa rushed back to the living room, her feet hammering against the old floorboards, her eyes milling around for a sign of movement. The panic rose up her body, slowly, then overflowed, haunting her thoughts with dreary premonitions. The room spun blurry as she headed to the kitchen; the last possible place to check. Braking her pace by barring her hands against the frame of the door, she darted her eyes around frantically, hoping to spot Kenny, but only Levi met her urgent glare.

"Mikasa..." Levi dropped his spoon, for her sudden entrance jarred him from the depressing task of preparing his very last cup of tea. "What is it?"

With the way her shoulders curled tensely, Levi already saw the bad news forming on her lips before she muttered the verdict.

"Kenny...he's...he's missing."


I'll admit I'm a little evil for that cliffhanger. But hey, I gave you kisses and cuddles so I'm safe, r-right? Anyway, the next chapter is going to be fun, it will probably end up being my personal favorite. I can't wait to release it~