A/N: Sorry for the wait! I had a lot of trouble with this chapter and I've just been a stressed mess lately, but having this chapter done is such a weight off my chest. Sigh...The next two chapters will probably be even more difficult since it'll be the penultimate chapter and the final. ;~;
"That was the most disgusting meal I ever had." Levi pat his scowl with a napkin after miraculously swallowing a few bites of the atrocious garbage Kenny put on a plate and called dinner. When water wasn't enough to burn off the aftertaste, Levi snatched up the flagon of moonshine and poured himself a glass. The alcohol managed to scorch off the flavor, if you could even call it that, but the brew tasted awful. He supposed this was what pick your poison meant.
The array of dishes and bowls lined up on the tabletop overflowed with untouched remains, but Levi wouldn't take another share even if it meant the difference between starvation and survival. Residing in the underground as long as he had, Levi had come across his fair share of crappy cuisine, but he could confidently reward Kenny's meal with the top prize.
Lowering his head shamefully, Kenny looked as if he got chewed up and spat out himself. "I tried my best..."
"And I tried my best not to hurl up that shit you call food, but I don't see anyone commending me for my valiant effort."
"Oh, stop it. It wasn't that terrible," Mikasa cut in before Kenny could pelt in his refute and commence another war with Levi. Bearing in mind their limited supplies and his lack of skill, Mikasa was actually surprised her uncle didn't do worse. Though, she wouldn't go as far as applauding him. The meal he prepared certainly wasn't something her taste buds were fond of, and some parts weren't even edible, but Kenny tried his best. Levi skimmed over that verity, but for Mikasa, that dash of selfless exertion made the perfect seasoning.
"Much obliged," Kenny gave her a squinty grin, and then directed his attention back to Levi. The amiable mask he wore disfigured into a baleful one. "This street rat wouldn't know fine cuisine if it bit him in the ass."
"Fine cuisine," repeated Levi with an astonished scoff. His eyes fell to the remnants of the meal on the table, attempting to find where this stunning supper Kenny referred to lay hidden. With a knife, he lifted a cob of corn, which had been seeped in its husk, and tilted his head to peer under. Nope. No fine meal under there. "You Ackerman's must have weird taste buds, because this is literally crap."
"Okay, so some of the vegetables were a little raw." Kenny owned up sheepishly as he scratched the tines of his fork against his plate.
"...And you burnt everything else." Levi elbowed Mikasa, dragging her into the battle she had no wish to fight. "This gross dinner might be the key. I bet if we ate this before going into titan territory, they'd spit us right out."
Having enough of Levi's foul flavor of scorn, Kenny fitfully flung his fork. Without even a flinch, Levi boredly dodged the soaring silverware with a quick shift of the head. Mikasa sighed heavily. Kenny and Levi were no difference than two toddlers throwing a fit.
"Don't act all high and mighty. You of all people should be the last to talk." Inflamed with anger, Kenny lashed a finger at his ex-successor. "You sucked at cooking too. I remember you'd cry every morning 'cause you broke the yolk of your eggs and burnt your toast. I wouldn't even have my morning coffee yet and you were already blubbering."
Evoked with imageries of the sniveling brat he once was, Levi sunk down in his chair, hoping he'd disappear into a puddle of childish shame. "I...didn't cry."
"You cried about everything," Kenny corrected. "You'd cry before we trained, when I said we couldn't keep that flea-infested cat you found, and when I said your tea tasted like ass—"
"I was, what, ten? It's normal for a child to cry about things like that," he retorted, flustered as he took a quick glance at Mikasa listening discreetly from the sidelines. He was relieved to find her nodding a little at him, agreeing.
"But you did that until you were at least twenty," Kenny revealed bluntly.
Shoulders shaking, Mikasa snorted into her hand. Lured by her laughter, Levi pried his eyes off his crackling ex-mentor and confronted Mikasa with thin eyes. "Knock it off. No giggling at my expense."
Wearing the same defiant smirk, Mikasa lifted herself from the chair in a jaunty gait and skirted around the table to collect the dirty dishes. When she sloped over to gather Kenny's she said: "Don't listen to him, Kenny. I appreciate you cooking for us. Levi is just allergic to kindness. The next time he says something snarky think of it as an unintentional sneeze."
He tipped his hat to her, and they shared this look between them like they were in on an inside joke. Quite frankly, Levi found it disgusting.
"At least someone in this house has fine taste. Tch, Disrespectful brat, I cook a fine meal for him and this is how he repays me."
"I hope your own gross food makes you constipated."
"Gesundheit."
Leaning back in his chair, Levi bit his inner cheek as his head rattled at the two giggling Ackerman's. Ever since he was young he always felt like the punch line to all of Kenny's awful jokes. For once, he'd like the guy to treat him with some respect—but then, Levi might have to return the courtesies, and just like Kenny's dinner, that's not something he's prepared to digest just yet.
Mikasa dropped off the dishes in the sink and returned to her seat. The dysfunctional after-dinner table talk her family conducted became her entertainment for the evening. For the next hour, trifling topics, laughter, and reminiscing teemed within the timber walls of the cabin. The level of the moonshine in the flagon reduced, and the level of her company's voices rose with every sip they took.
"You know what your problem is?" Kenny snarled with contempt, his drunken eyes struggling to focus on Levi.
"You?" Levi answered aloofly, swishing around what was likely his third glass.
"Hah?" Spittle flew from his mouth, his noxious breath nearly knocking Mikasa out of her chair. Suddenly confused, Kenny scratched at his temple pensively. "Uh...wait, what was I gonna say?"
"I see you're still a lightweight," said Levi before nonchalantly quaffing down another gulp.
As far as Mikasa could tell, her captain held his liquor well. Sober or not, he still behaved moderately the same. The only difference she could detect was his listless posture and the slack look in his eyes. Her uncle on the other hand looked a sip away from tipping out of his chair, but that didn't stop him from replenishing all empty glasses on the table—including her own.
Repelled, Mikasa inched back in her chair. "Uh, I think you meant to pour that into Levi's glass, not mine."
In an exaggerated motion, Kenny set a finger to his lips and shushed her. "I know what I meant to do, missy."
Breaking her gaze from the drunk, she blinked down at her glass. The liquor sat as clear as water, but bearing in mind how polluted the contents were, doubts clouded her mind. "But I'm not old enough."
Kenny finished off tipping off Levi's glass and sat back, brandishing his drink up to her as he elevated his boot atop the table. "As you're uncle, I grand you permission to drink to your hearts content."
"Put your filthy fucking foot back down or I'll saw it off," Levi said darkly with tightly crossed arms. Mikasa mentally retracted her assumption about Levi being relaxed. He was as tense as ever until Kenny finally threw his foot back down with a heavy thump. Kenny might talk big game but not even he wanted to risk activating Levi's fastidious wrath.
"Anyway," Mikasa swayed her head side to side, sliding her glass away from her. "I'll pass."
"Come on, Mikasa." Levi goaded her by holding up his own glass. "You said so yourself that you want to be more selfish and enjoy life to the fullest."
Face reddening, Mikasa jerked her head at the composed man sitting beside her, conflicted to believe whether he understood what he said or if he unmindfully repeated her weak whispers. Beneath the table, she knocked her knee against his to silence him, and he nearly ingested his drink into his lungs from the startle. With a gaping mouth, Kenny eyed them both. Suspicion passed over his face like a darkened cloud.
"Wha—?" Levi ogled her incredulously.
"Everything said and done in the cave stays in the cave," she hissed through tense lips.
Bobbing his head obediently, Levi buffed the ache out of his knee and rephrased, "All I meant is you should let loose. If you're old enough to be in the Survey Corps, you're old enough to drink in my book," Levi nursed his cup, staring into it broodingly. "Hell, this job practically requires you to drink."
"Yeah," Kenny curtly agreed as he scratched at his whiskers. "If I had to kill giant man-eating monsters, I'd never be sober."
And that was something the two wisecracking men could agree on. With a light clink, they toasted their glasses and upended their drinks.
Amazing, Mikasa thought. They actually agreed on something—was booze actually powerful enough to seal the gap between two foes? With that in mind, Mikasa figured it wouldn't hurt to try something new. Considering the new developments in her and Levi's relationship, this trip was meant to be one big experimental stage for her. A sip or two won't kill her.
"Maybe I'll have just a sip," Mikasa declared. Two pairs of eyes glowed in anticipation as she slowly hovered her lips over the brim. A quick whiff made her head fly back. The smell alone was enough to make her stomach churn.
"I'm curious to see how you act when you're drunk." A lithe palm held up Levi's head as he fondly watched her, as if he did not want to miss the transition from strict-solider-Mikasa to slurring-staggering-Mikasa.
"I'm not going to get drunk on the job," she stalled in taking a drink just to shove him a little, and he went slewing over in his chair with a small smirk.
"Why do you keep trying to wound me? It's a punishable offence to strike your superior," Levi feigned a professional tone.
She decided to answer by playfully striking him again, but he quickly cinched her swinging hand, their fingers reflexively snugging into a tight stitch. The feel of Levi's warm hand in hers made her forget why she tried to strike him in the first place. His eyes dancing over her blushing face provoked a giggle, but it wasn't heard over Kenny's grisly groan.
"There you two go again, flirting," he snorted with derision before he chugged down his booze.
Before answering, Mikasa sipped the strong flavor carefully, letting the liquid slowly roll over her tongue. Once adjusted to the sting, she threw the shot down her throat, as if challenging her uncle. "I think flirting is appropriate for us," the drink had a strong bite that mingled with her words. "Don't you think?"
A bushy brow rose at his niece's words. Unable to decode her riddle, he frowned cluelessly.
The betrothal couple sat a moment in silence, cherishing Kenny's dumbfounded expression, and as seconds ticked on, the silence only made the man more anxious. Laying his sagging cheek in his fist, he shifted his eyes to both of them, forecasting their secret brewing like a storm about to strike. "What's up with you two?"
Under the table, Mikasa and Levi's conjoined hands laid on top of his thigh. He focused on the way his thumb brushed over hers tenderly before dragging his eyes back to hers. "Do you think we should tell him?"
Before Mikasa even had time to deliberate, Kenny was already strafing them with bulbous eyes, "Tell me what? Tell me. Tell me. For Sina's sake tell me," and so on.
With Kenny's continuous mantra of pleas serving as ambiance, Mikasa tittered and nodded to Levi, saying, "Please tell him, he won't shut up otherwise."
Levi returned his eyes to Kenny. A few preambles that could kick off this topic teemed around his mind, but considering Kenny's current attention span, Levi decided to recite the big news in the best way he knew how: boldly. "I told Mikasa about our engagement."
Excitement flickered in Kenny's aged eyes as he bounced his gaze between them. "...You don't say. And?"
Levi swallowed the lump that manifested in his clenching throat. He didn't know why he was nervous. Telling anyone about an engagement could be daunting, he supposed, but he never considered himself the type to lose his nerve over such a simple concept. The emotion behind such a tradition wasn't as simple, but the act of actually telling someone, especially Kenny, shouldn't be this difficult. Thinking back to how Mikasa reacted when she found out her parent's offered their consent in the engagement, Levi lightly considered that maybe a thin piece of him still sought Kenny's approval. He would never be able to introduce Mikasa to his parent's, or any other family member, so he supposed that Kenny was the closest thing he had, and some part of him wanted support.
Their locked fingers tighten. Mikasa detected nervousness coming from Levi, which was strange, but this hesitation wasn't without reason. Every unfolded event during this trip had been one unexpected shock after the next. This time, they were in on it, but stating shocking news was no less difficult. At the same time, the couple's eyes strayed from Kenny and they gazed upon another. With a shallow breath, Mikasa's eyes gave consent, and also gave him the power he needed to spit out the conclusion.
"And we decided to go through with it," Levi said at last, then moved his eyes back to Kenny to inspect his reaction.
All sound cut from the room. The flickering flames of the candles between them even stilled from the lack of movement. The shifting shadows casted in the sockets of Kenny's elusive eyes as his uplifted expressed completely wilted. "...You're kidding."
And with those two words mingling with a face of skepticism, the moment was ruined, more so by what he said next as he shifted his frown at Mikasa, "You wanna marry this guy? Seriously?"
"Y-Yeah..." Mikasa weakly faltered, then, with a straightened posture, she repeated herself with an extra dose of conviction. "Yes. I want to marry him."
Levi turned an unbidden grin at her, his eyes crinkling with elation. No matter how many times she said it, he still never believed it. The words will probably still sound foreign to him on their wedding day.
"Well, well well," Kenny said airily, his shock replaced with arrogance as he rested back in the chair with a creak. "Be sure to invite me to the wedding."
"Uh, no." Mikasa laid her foot down before consideration could even bloom. It might sound cruel given that he was her blood, but bearing in mind his penchant for hostility and his relationship with Levi, sending him an invitation would be like sending a declaration of war. "You guys will end up trying to kill each other in the middle of the ceremony."
"But wouldn't that make it memorable?" A warm voice freed from Kenny, a bloodbath of a wedding already projecting out of his eyes.
"Implying you'll even be alive when we tie the knot," Levi taunted crossly.
Kenny thrust out his chest, trying to contain all his anger into one spot before expelling out a throaty threat. "Implying you'll even be alive to get married!"
Levi's grip on Mikasa's hand fastened; his ire pulsing into her palm. "If I haven't gotten eaten by now, I don't think I will anytime soon, and you sure as hell won't kill me."
Convinced by his words, Kenny abandoned their quarrel, upended his drink, and transferred his attention to Mikasa. "You really want to marry him, huh?" Kenny asked again, but this time more gently. The unexpected change in pitch sounded strange to Levi.
Face downturned, she blushed. "We...We still need to work on our relationship and get to know each other more, but I think it could work. "
"Yeah. I think so too," agreed Kenny, an affable breath filling his lungs. "Ackerman's are built strong, and if me or the titans can't get in your way, no love quarrels will either."
That almost resembled fatherly affection, Levi thought, but his clenched throat wouldn't permit him to reply without choking on the words of thanks.
"If I'm not allowed to attend the wedding..." Kenny started ruefully. "Then just be sure to name your first son after me."
Levi's entire face twisted with disgust. "No way in hell would I give my kid your name." The tender moment once again shattered from Levi's reply. There's no way he'd insult his future son by giving him a name of a murderous moron.
"Awh, but you promised you would after the two of you got engaged," Kenny slumped forward with a pout, looking like a drunk toddler.
"No, old man. Let me refresh your memory," Levi leaned over, his elbow propped up on the table as he thrust out a finger. "You ordered me to name my first son after you and I agreed. I don't take orders from you anymore."
"But you still promised..." he mumbled, his redden nose sniffling.
"And I promised not to kill you, but I can easily break promises."
"Fine then, get on with it!" Closing his eyes, Kenny swept his arms out openly, making him vulnerable for an attack. "Kill me and name your first son after me in my memory!"
"Can we please stop talking about children?" Mikasa cut in, aghast. "Levi and I are still adjusting to the whole engagement thing here, children aren't on our mind yet."
With a submissive groan, Kenny slumped over and pinned his smiling eyes on his niece for a long while. "You were practically sewed to Levi when you were a little tyke, you know that?" Just his words alone made Mikasa shrink back into an embarrassed child who desperately wanted to hide behind her mother's dress again. "You took an immediate liking to him," he looked up the ceiling, a wan smirk plastered on his lips. "God only knows why, most kids would piss themselves if they caught a glimpse of such a miserable-looking man, but not you. And from the first time I saw you two together recently, I knew from first glance you still felt the same. Even if you didn't remember the past, I could see it in your eyes that you still looked up to him. That admiration never wavered."
The streak of heat cutting across Mikasa's cheeks dyed redder than her scarf. Saying nothing, her lips pressed into a firm slash.
Kenny shifted his attention to Levi. "And when we were on the road, traveling back to the underground after visiting you and your folks, he wouldn't shut up about you. It was pathetic how a grown man wouldn't stop talking about a five year old girl for nearly a week. I considered driving the carriage off a steep cliff just to end his ceaseless rambling."
Now Levi's cheeks ignited with the matching hue Mikasa wore. They sat shriveled and red, like a pair of trampled roses.
The past twinkled in his aged eyes. "Your folks were good people, Mikasa, and they saw something in Levi. They'd be proud to know you decided to go through with the engagement we arranged."
Mikasa could tell Kenny felt uncomfortable expressing himself in such a way, but she appreciated his words nonetheless. When she learned how much her parent's wanted them together, she couldn't imagine herself with anyone else. Not only did she develop feelings for Levi during this mission in the wilderness, but her parent's approved of him years prior and thought he was a good match for her. Mikasa wasn't a firm believer of fate, but something told her they were met to be. They met again after all those years apart for a reason, and Mikasa had no desire to fight against the raging current.
"I also remember you hogging all the cookies my sister-in-law made," Kenny stabbed his eyes at Levi accusingly, extinguishing the warm feeling swelling up in the couple. "She baked them for us to share on the road but you wouldn't give me a crumb."
"You sure do remember the most irrelevant and useless shit." Levi snapped. But that was a memory that he had failed to recall, and he was secretly grateful for Kenny bringing it up. "Your mother was an amazing baker," he filled Mikasa in, keeping his voice gentle. "She made a batch of cookies one evening and I couldn't stop wolfing them down. She had to make another batch and she ended up giving us the leftovers for the road."
"Us," Kenny spat with disdain. "You didn't share any, you greedy glutton."
"It was ten years ago. Are you honestly still mad you didn't get a second helping?"
"Yes, I'm damn mad," he slurred in drunken rage, sloppily hammering down his empty glass. "They were really good."
As the boy's bantered on about old grudges, Mikasa sat placidly still, assaulted by unbidden memories. She didn't know if the drink helped relax her mind enough to open up a clogged flow or if Kenny's and Levi's words helped her remember, but nostalgic memories were flashing in her mind.
"That's so odd. I think I remember that." She squinted up at the ceiling beams as she recalled, still unsure. Her mutter managed to cut off their japes, and the men heeded her with curiosity. It was like a memory triggered off, an unclear one that she had to sort through before speaking further. The feeling was similar to desperately latching onto the details of a dream upon waking before it disappeared forever. "I completely forgot about that, but I think I remember my mom's recipe."
The two men silently stared at her with expanding eyes.
"As soon as we come across ingredients you're making those cookies. That's a direct order," Levi demanded.
"Are you honestly abusing your authority for the sake of cookies, captain?"
"Make two batches," Kenny added. "He'll leave none for me again if you don't."
Levi scoffed. "What makes you think you're getting any? You're a prisoner. Prisoners don't get cookies."
Kenny slammed his cup on the table once more, this time making the other glasses clatter. "It's an Ackerman family recipe, by blood I have more rights to those cookies than you."
"But it's Mikasa's mother's recipe. She was only an Ackerman by name. And as Mikasa's future husband, by law I have more rights."
"I think both of you had too much to drink," Mikasa tried to stifle her quiet laugher as the men argued back and forth, inventing legal claims over cookies. Her family sure was a weird bunch, but they were her weird family and even though they both had many faults, she wouldn't trade them for the world.
"You look tired," Levi remarked some time later in the night, noting the way Mikasa lurched over and cradled her weak head. She barely contributed to conversation, other than a bob or two of the head, but that may have been her nodding off to sleep. After the adventurous day they had, he was surprised she managed to stay awake as long as she did.
"My heads swimming a bit." The vision of Levi began to warp slightly as she ran a hand down her numbed face.
"You should head off to bed."
"Yeah, and he'll join you later." Kenny winked with a risqué chuckle as he poured himself yet another glass. Both of the soldiers had lost count of how many drinks he had, and he didn't look ready to quit any time soon.
Ignoring the inappropriate comment, Levi gave her thigh a reassuring pat. "Really, go get some rest."
"Fine. If you need me just wake me up," she pulled herself away from the table, using the edge to aid her haggard balance.
Kenny flung his hands up, a wounded look on his face. "What, no goodnight kiss?"
Levi rolled his neck back to him with a threatening crack. "One more fucking unnecessary comment Kenny. Come on. Test your luck, you prick."
"Or I could shut both of you up in one fell swoop."
Eyes narrowed in question, Levi moved his head up at Mikasa, but a fast blur blocked his sight and his lips were stolen in a fuse of slick warmness.
Before he could realized what happened, she was already gone and all he had was Kenny speechless and gaping before him and a tingle leftover on his lips. She was right. She stunned them both and buttoned both of their lips.
"She sure is a wonderful girl," Kenny said wistfully into the doorframe she disappeared into. "I'm proud of her. Though her only fault would be her horrible taste in men," he intoned playfully.
Levi clenched his teeth in restraint until Kenny said something that relaxed his jaw so much it unhinged.
"Sorry," he mumbled. "I'm just joking. I know you'll treat her good."
The fact that he corrected an ill-humored joke and apologized left Levi stunned and slightly spooked. "No more booze for you," Levi pinched the brim of his ex-mentors glass and relocated it from his reach.
"Maybe the drink did get to me," he said in an airy voice as he shuffled through the inner pocket of his coat. "But now that were alone…I have something to give you."
Levi dropped his gaze, bracing himself for whatever he might expose. "Unless that's a gun, I'm going to be really crept out. You're not the gift-giving type."
He chuckled despondently. "It's more of a gift for Mikasa, one I want you to deliver to her."
What Kenny pulled out from his coat pocket wasn't a gun, or any weapon at all. it was a simple black box with hinges, gingerly set down in front of Levi.
Warily, Levi reached out to it, fearing it was a trap of some kind. What he saw when he unhinged the box made his furrowed brows join in the center. "...What's this?"
"A ring."
Obviously. Levi made that assessment himself. The band was tucked between frayed padding. The guttering candle flame on the table made the diamond spit vibrant color every which way.
"Who's dead finger did you pry this from?" Levi mused with a crooked brow, holding the band up to the candle to appraise it. The diamond was about the size of an almond, and shared the same shape as one. It almost looked like a shimmering teardrop.
Kenny glowered at him viciously but he bit the side of his cheek, restraining the impulses to whip him for that remark. "I didn't steal it. When I was young, I was going to ask a girl to marry me, but it... didn't work out. I've been holding on to that damn thing ever since."
"You...wait," he flicked his attentive eyes to him. "Back up. You were going to ask an actual female to marry you? A real human? Not like a farmyard animal?"
"Yes, a real fucking woman, and a beautiful one at that. Stop being a disrespectful prick about it." Kenny stirred in his seat, arms folded to the chest as muffled curses hung from a strained frown. He internally fought a war to keep his anger prisoned and continued on in a mild voice, "I've been holding that ring as a token of her since I have nothing else to remember her by."
The shards glistened more so as he shifted the band, igniting his curious eyes with twinkling orbs. "Then why are you giving it to me?"
Looking around aimlessly, Kenny snickered and pushed up his shoulders, as if he hadn't the faintest idea. "I figure you and Mikasa would make better use for it, rather than letting it collect dust in my coat pocket."
Levi examined the ring under a pensive gaze, wondering about the rightful owner. "...What happened to her?"
Kenny leaned back in his chair, letting his knitted fingers slide on top of his stomach. "She died."
"Oh." As touchy as the topic was, he wanted Kenny to elaborate more. He can't just throw a ring in his face from a dead lover and expect not to be questioned. Usually death to Kenny was an insignificant occurrence. Hell, he's the cause of many deaths and didn't bat an eye, but judging by his mien he seemed broken up at just the mention of her—this woman that heartless bastard loved enough to marry. This faceless phantom showed herself in Levi's mind's eye. The image of her beside Kenny presented itself, but it didn't match up at all. A folly of his imagination, that's what it felt like. Too unbelievable to be true.
Even after all these years of knowing him, he never knew Kenny went steady with someone at any point in his life—he never even imagined such a ridiculous idea. How was a man like Kenny even capable of loving? That in and of itself was an ultimate shock to Levi, and since he never felt this kind of energy before from Kenny, he couldn't help but pry, as insensitive as it might be.
"She was special to you, huh..." he prompt him to say more.
"Yeah." Kenny sucked a hissing breath between his grinding teeth; his frown lines deepening. "Her name was Jalia. And she was a breathtakingly beautiful woman; a goddess and a damn blessing in these forsaken walls." His frown lines turned into amused crevices as his eyes reminisced in her memory, swimming slickly and melting as if the ghostly embodiment of this supposed goddess was standing before him.
Kenny never spoke so highly of anyone before. This woman may very well have been a blessing: the mysterious goddess who tamed the hellish beast, Kenny the ripper.
"She was one of the last of her kind, too—just like Mikasa. She had dark skin and corkscrew curls of black hair with eyes like a doe. Such a classy woman she was, tall and elegant with such a beautiful way of carrying herself. But don't let that lyrical description fool you—she was a cold hard bitch and that's what I loved about her." He tried to chuckle in his usual manner, but the noise sounded more like the ironic guffaw a man spills when he welcomed the arms of death.
With Kenny's flowery description in mind, Levi painted her out in his minds canvas and studied her silently. This mysterious woman was important to Kenny. And this ring, that currently fiddled around in his sweaty fingers, was a decoration of Kenny's love for her. This ring alone, while nothing fancy like the heavy rocks the noble woman in Sina wore, was more valuable than the jeweler's it came from or the mines that harvested the diamond.
"How'd you meet her?"
Kenny stiffed in hesitation. "In a pleasure house..."
Any other time, Levi would've teased him for pathetically paying for sex, but as much as a brat he could be, he knew now wasn't the time for that.
It was if Kenny expected him to have a comment about it, and even allowed room for it by pausing, but when Levi said nothing he twitched up a knowing smirk at him. "As soon as I saw her standing there in that golden silk robe I knew I had to have her. God, I remember the night so clearly. We ended up talking for most of the evening; I had so many questions for her—" but he didn't replay any of them or the answers for Levi's ears. A man had to have some sacred memories to take to his grave, after all, and Levi could respect that. "And I fell in love right then and there, before I fucked her, if you could believe it. And soon enough, and miraculously, might I add, she loved me in return."
Levi never heard Kenny express himself so passionately, nor had he ever heard such a tender tone release from him before. The face he wore looked like an unfamiliar mask, or perhaps he wore a mask all along and this was his true face.
"When I found out she was a sex slave, there against her will since she was a teen, I stole her away. We planned on starting a life together, but soon enough she was hunted down by panderers and MPs. The twisted fucks actually saw her as rare property and wanted me to return stolen merchandise." He tsked, shaking his head as if the notion still dug under his skin even after all these years. "The searches died down after a few months and we started to live a peaceful life together in a little cabin just like this one. When I found out Jalia was pregnant with my child, I picked out that ring for her. I thought everything was looking up for us—"
Closing his eyes, Levi felt a heavy weight of trepidation drop in the pit of his stomach, and his muscles cramped with a painful cringe. This story didn't have a happy ending, he already knew; a shame since this was the first time Kenny opened up and shared such a personal memory—but this pleasant tale of love was turning dark and Levi's thumping chest braced for impact as he awaited the conclusion.
"When I was in work one night, the MPs found out where we were held up. That woman was always such a fighter. She always fought with me, but we never were mad at each other a second." Kenny looked almost ruefully bashful as he scratched the whiskers on his cheek. Right then, Levi wondered if fighting was his way of showing affection. "Being the fearless fighter she was, she tried to put up a fight when they all ganged up on her. Put up a good one too, even being pregnant as she was. One defenseless woman against a small army of MPs and pimps couldn't be matched, of course. I always figured if they did ever find her, worse case scenario, she'd be taken back to the brothel against her will. I never anticipated any other consequence. I still don't know why it turned out so ugly. I tried to come up with sensible reason, and figured if they couldn't have her, no one could, but that unknown motivation still haunts me. Maybe they did want to take her back, but she put up too much of a fight and they figured she'd never be tamed again after tasting a sample of freedom. I don't know, but I do know I left my to-be wife with a kiss, thinking she was safe, and when I returned home I was welcomed by her mangled and bloody corpse. The image haunts me to this day."
Every added word sickened Levi more and more. His gums pulsated from how hard he clenched his teeth. The hero side of him wished he could go back in time to put a stop to the mindless crime. A picture of a young Mikasa and her family suddenly flickered in his mind. That family was split apart for similar reasons, if you could call them reasons, he recalled. Even Mikasa fell victim to such atrocious crimes and nearly became sold into slavery for the rarity of her ethnicity. How utterly revolting. Stories like that made Levi wonder why he risked his life to protect the corrupt bastards housed inside these walls—but then he remembered the victims, like Mikasa, her parent's, Jalia, Kenny's unborn child... People like that were worth fighting for.
Ambushed by memories, Kenny wiped a trembling hand down his mouth, trying to gather his cool. A deadly gaze fixated somewhere past Levi's shoulder without a blink. Red flared in his eyes, as if reflecting a bloody sight. He sat mutely for a pensive minute as he chewed at his lip. His eyes turned to hard ice then melted; a hot tear spilled out and rolled down his cheek.
The kitchen went dead silent, aside from the occasional sniffle from Kenny. Even the hollowing winds outside stayed motionless to pay its respects. There was a ringing in Levi's ear until a wet choked-on yip shattered the silence. Levi had never saw Kenny cry before. Out of respect for his privacy, he moved his eyes off him and set them on the table where the guttering flame gave life to the casting shadows.
"I killed every fucking MP I could after that happened," his voice rattled like rusty chains. "They not only killed my bride to be, but they killed my unborn child as well. I snapped."
Levi heard of the rumors of Kenny the Ripper relentlessly slaughtering hundreds of MPs at a time like an unstoppable madman. The tales painted Kenny to be the monster, but hearing his side to the story made him sound like the victim.
"And somehow I ended up as one of those crooked fucks. I thought it would help my own goals: work with the enemy to destroy them from the inside, but I became as bad as the men who took my Jalia away from me." His fist slammed on the table, making an already edgy Levi jump in his seat. "I don't know how I ended up like this. When you left I felt like I had no set path again and at one point, I think I was following orders without thinking like a lifeless hunk of machinery. It may not seem like it, but I suffer incredibly when I lose something. With the loss of her and then you I became the type of person I never wanted to be."
"I had to leave," the words came out colder than Levi intended. "But if you expressed yourself like this earlier, I would've understood. I had every reason to believe you were out of your mind and I didn't want any part in your crazy schemes. This doesn't excuse your actions, but it does explain them. The unknown reasons behind your mindless bloodshed used to haunt me too—we all need clarification."
Kenny bobbed his head, looking poisoned and purified at the same time. "In the long run, I'm glad you left. I didn't want to drag you into that mess—at the time I did, but I wasn't in the right state of mind. During the time we did live together, you did help me. Your presence was almost therapeutic. Instead of darkness and blood, I saw light; I had a future to look forward to thanks to you. In all honesty… it felt like I found the child I lost," he knuckled away a tear, a deep frown engraved on his lips. "I think I took you in because I just couldn't stand being alone after that, but then I stumbled upon the crazy idea of forcing you to help my twisted goals. I was in no condition to raise a child. All I could think about was revenge and murder and I couldn't dig out of that pit. I was still bitter and miserable from the loss of Jalia and I still did many horrible things just to cope with that, but I felt half way whole again with you around—
"but since I was already a monster, I don't blame you for leaving, and I'm sorry that I initially planned on turning you into myself. I placed heavy burdens on you, Levi. I even wanted you to pass down those burdens to your own children. That was a tall order to place and just know that I never meant for our relationship to turn so corrupt and ugly. But being here with you and Mikasa in this little cabin had helped clear my head. The two of you remind me of her and I a lot. It helped me remember that love we shared...and it helped me remember the man I was when I was with her—the man she was proud of. She probably hates the man I am now, though."
"Love doesn't really work that way. If she is somehow a conscious entity, she probably expects better from you, sure, but you can't just turn love on and off just because you disagree about something. I've done things that utterly revolted Mikasa, but she still wants to be with me. Mikasa had also let revenge get in the way of radical thinking and I've suffered as a result, but that didn't cause me to love her any less. I didn't know Jalia, but I don't think she would hate you. If anything, she probably wishes you weren't enduring so much pain."
Kenny's lip tucked morosely. "I'm trying to elevate that pain," he said, pointing his eyes at the ring, "by letting go of the past. Levi, I want you to propose to Mikasa properly. And after you do, make sure you don't ever let any harm come her way. You think you're miserable now? Oh no. If you lose the one you truly love, it's game over. There's no recovering from that." Kenny's demeanor, however, did slowly recover as he pulled himself back together. His hunched pose erected up and he cleared the sorrow accumulation in his throat.
Levi felt honored to be given this ring by the man who raised him and made him into the man he was today: the man that was supposedly worthy enough to marry in Mikasa's eyes. When he slips that band over Mikasa's finger, he hoped that Jalia will look after her lover's niece. What a comforting thought.
"Be good to her, Levi."
"Like you of all people need to tell me that," Levi flipped down the lid and transferred the case to his pocket.
"Quit ruining the moment, runt. I'm happy for you." Kenny paused there, then after swallowing his hesitation, he added in an afterthought, "My brother was a dumb fool and I'm sure his wife hated me, but I'm not blind. I know they were good people and they made a beautiful and strong daughter—I wish I could have gotten to know Mikasa more over the years, but my 'dreams' clouded my mind for so long." Regret crinkled in the outer corners of his eyes. "I just want the last of my family happy. You and Mikasa are the only ones I have left."
Levi opened his mouth to speak, but only Kenny's voice was heard.
"Before you ruin the mood again and speak, let me say I do see you as my son, Levi. I know I wasn't the best father figure but—"
"Ya' think? You tried to shoot me the other day."
"Overlook the little details and shut up, you little shit." The gravelly tone poisoning his voice diluted with a surrendering sigh. "You're a good kid—ah, well I suppose you're a man now. You didn't grow much over the years, but you still grew in other ways since we've met; you've grown wiser, stronger, matured and you protect the ones you care for. It takes a true man to do that. I don't agree with everything you're doing, but I'm still proud of you."
A surge of heat rose to Levi's face. "...I appreciate you saying that, truly," his voice thickened with compassion. When he was younger, all he wanted was to make Kenny proud. When they would train together, he would replicate a few banal praises, but right now, Kenny was proud of him for other reasons. Reasons Levi cared dearly about. That meant the world to him.
"And for the record, you were a terrible father figure—you were a grumpy prick and worked me to the bone, but looking back, you made my childhood interesting. You kept a roof over my head, food in my stomach, and kept my arms toned with muscle. I don't even know where I'd be if you didn't take me in from the streets." Levi paused to ponder this, and a dreadful feeling crept up his spine." I'd probably still be there. Or dead."
"And now look at ya'," Kenny made a flourishing gesture at him. "You're humanity's strongest and you're engaged to humanity's most beautiful woman." Kenny chuckled humbly, but his spirits dulled as he bowed down his head. "Thanks for that, though. It's assuring to know I did one thing right in my life."
Life sure was funny. If it weren't for Kenny, Levi would've undoubtedly remained an unwanted orphan on the soiled streets of the underground. By now, he'd probably be dead in an ally or in jail. If it weren't for departing from Kenny, he would've never ended up in the Survey Corps. If it weren't for his training, he wouldn't have survived through his first mission. If it weren't for him, he never would have met Mikasa and her family all those years ago.
Levi never realized it until now, but his current life was built by Kenny. Recently, he even gave him the push he needed to tell Mikasa about their engagement, and as a result, he's getting married to the love of his life.
…All thanks to Kenny.
That warmness Levi searched for all those years after meeting Mikasa's family had started to boil up inside him again. That comforting sensation was something only family could give. It took a long time to realize it, but as sick and crazy as he was, Kenny was Levi's family. Now Levi could finally understand why Mikasa acted so rash when it came to Eren. Family could make you do crazy things, and he's about to prove that.
"Stand up, stay still and don't say a word," Levi barked, pushing himself up from his chair.
"Huh?" Kenny cocked his head up at Levi, who now loomed over him like an ominous shadow. "Why?"
"It's an order. Do as I say."
With an uncertain gait, Kenny eased himself from the table and stood tall before Levi. What am I getting myself in to? he wondered, but his following actions betrayed his feelings of uncertainty.
With expanded arms, Levi hastily lunged himself forward, the momentum nearly enough to knock the six-foot man off balance. With his cheek compressed against Kenny's chest, Levi couldn't see his reaction, but he could hear the wind wrenching out of his lungs as he squeezed his arms tighter around him. Even though Levi went about this with a bit too much force, he wasn't actually assaulting him or restraining him—he was hugging him.
Within his arms, he could feel Kenny stiffen and writhe from the unwarranted affection, but soon his ex-mentors body mollified inside his arms. Leaning over, Kenny returned the embrace and muttered, "Is...Is this the first time we've hugged?"
"Shut up," Levi mumbled into his coat. "Talking makes this weirder than it already is."
Finally pulling away from the hug that lasted longer than it should have, Levi darted his eyes aside to avoid Kenny's eyes, but what he saw in the threshold of the kitchen turned out to be much more embarrassing than facing Kenny. There, slated on the door frame, he spotted a witness to the shameful affection.
With clenched fists swaying by his hips, Levi hazarded a few steps forward. "How... long have you been standing there?"
"Long enough to see the most awkward hug I've ever seen," Mikasa's eyes were smiling at the two chagrin boys.
Charged with humiliation, Levi stabbed his finger at her, "You didn't see anything."
"Oh, I didn't?" Mikasa flicked her head to the side and found herself entertained by their shocked expressions.
"He tried to escape. And I tried to restrain him. That's all," Levi tacked on his usual dry tone, hoping to fool her.
"What do you call that fighting hold, then? I don't believe I learned that one in training," she skimmed her eyes over both of them in turn, and when they both sulked and hung their heads in shame, Mikasa approached Levi with a curling lip. His shyness toward affection will only go away through over exposure, she thought.
"Quit pouting, everyone needs a hug once in a while." She stepped forward and trapped Levi in her hold, but he was still too paralyzed with humiliation to even be conscious of the hug. Spotting Kenny beyond his shoulder, she released Levi and beckoned over her uncle. "Hey, we're family. I think I deserve a hug from you, too."
A wide open grin spread across her uncles cheeks as he eagerly offered his arms to her.
Finally returning to his senses, Levi whipped around, his face twisted with disgust. "I order a stop to this Ackerman hug-fest," shouted Levi, stomping his foot testily. There was too much damn hugging; Ackerman arms everywhere.
"You started it," said Kenny, giving his niece a final heartening squeeze.
"You seem cranky," Mikasa moved away from her uncle, "I think another hug might fix that."
"No. Stop it." Levi lurched back as if Mikasa was a titan closing in on him. Pacing backwards, his back careened against the wall. With no where left to run, Mikasa captured him.
"Don't disobey your captain," he said, but his placid tone disobeyed his words as Mikasa gently wove her arms around him.
There's no way to describe the sensation of being cherished in the arms of another, but when her arms clung around him, Levi melted. It was the type of nurturing affection he always craved—the kind of affection that could soothe any rattling nerve, or silence any disquiet thought. Mikasa's arms were broad and flexed with muscle, but that only made the hold around him tighter, and despite her strength she cradled him as gently as a newborn. Her arms were like a temple shielding him, and he was the worshiper tucked safely inside, thanking God for blessing him with this angel.
~x~
Later that night in the bedroom, Mikasa finally started to drift back to sleep, but the sound of the bedroom door creaking open shook her awake. A silhouette slipped in and clicked the door shut.
"Levi?" Mikasa called groggily, shifting up to recline on her elbows.
"Sorry for waking you," he said lowly, opening up a draw and clicking it shut again. Mikasa briefly wondered what he was doing before he plodded over to the edge of the bed. He stood there for a while, as black as silent as a shadow. "Mind if I join you?"
She was grateful the darkness hid her delighted expression. Scooting over, she beckoned him by lifting up the covers and he slipped under, her warm body heat already circulating beneath.
"Did you remember to lock the basement?" she asked as he settled in. By the sound of the ruffling, she assumed he was removing his shirt.
"Actually…I'm letting Kenny sleep out in the living room by the fire. He won't be needing any watch on him, either."
"Are you..." Mikasa tried to squint where his face laid hidden in the dark, hoping she could determine what kind of expression he wore. Unable to tell if he was being serious or drily humorous as usual, she asked, "Are you sure that's a good idea? I know we all had that tender moment earlier this evening but Kenny is still our prisoner."
"He's also our family," Levi said as he slid his hands under his head. "I might be wrong, but I think we might have the wrong idea about Kenny. He's done horrible things—things I can't ever forgive him for, but it's hard to play judge when I myself have my own demons and regrets that keep me up at night. People change. I used to mug people and get in to knife fights. Now I'm the respected captain of the Survey Corps. People naturally adapt to their surroundings. If you put a bunch of starving wolves in a cage together, they're bound to attack each other, but outside of that cage they'd would be a benign pack. People are animals, and we do what we need to survive in this shitty world."
Intrigued by his words, Mikasa propped her head up on her hand and pondered his words. Sometimes, the difference between good and evil depended on whose side you're on. Even when contrived plans that hoped to help the betterment of society, it still had consequences and casualties, and even some evil deeds proved to be beneficial for the populace in one way or another. They lived during a time when monsters could become allies, and fellow soldiers could become traitors. The world was entirely too gray to label people with the tags "good" and "evil". It didn't exist, not wholly—not in this life.
Although she was baffled at first, Mikasa understood where Levi was coming from and felt no need to question his insight. If he believed leaving Kenny unguarded was okay, then it was okay.
"I think Kenny is capable of drastic change, too." Mikasa bit her lip in thought. It was hard to admit, especially considering Kenny's notorious title, but she developed a soft spot for the guy and was glad to have a living family member. Was he the ideal depiction of family? Not by a long shot. But what classified as a perfect family, anyway? "I could tell he's a good man, deep, deep down. I think he just lost his way. It's easy to lose your way in our chaotic world."
Her words triggered him to recall how he too lost his way in the underground. He had no set path engraved before him, not until he reconnected with Mikasa did that path begin to reappear. Right now, Kenny was lost and going down any corrupt road that looked promising. All he needed was to find a moral path worth following.
Mikasa found drastic change very possible, recently more than ever. Not long ago she had a deeply embedded grudged against Levi. She'd cringe in anger just thinking about him, and would lust at the idea of revenge—but now, she only lusted at the idea of touching him.
"I'm cold," she murmured in a luring sigh as she rolled closer to him, tamping her face into his bare chest as her hand tucked under his hip. The beat of his heart throbbing against her ear made her chest flutter soothingly.
That's all Levi needed to hear to animate him—he quickly hooked his arm around her neck and reeled her in closer while planting a few kisses on the crown of her head. "For someone claiming to be cold, you sure do feel hot," Levi commented as his fingers grazed the indentations of her biceps.
"I lied," she admitted victoriously. Getting close to Levi was all she wanted and using that excuse was a sure-fire way to get what she wanted.
He cupped her shoulder proudly, and while he secured his tight hold around her, it felt as if their warm bodies were fusing together.
"Say what you want about Kenny, but you have to admit he's a fantastic matchmaker."
Levi held back a laugh as he massaged her nape lovingly. "Agreed. I think he should retire from combat, buy a caravan and become a traveling love guru."
Together they shared a laugh as their feet twined together playfully. Even though it felt nice, it felt strange to hear his own laugh; it had been kept locked away for so long he nearly forgot how it sounded. And hearing Mikasa's giggles sounded better than a cheer of victory after a long battle. During the time he had known Mikasa as a young woman, he had never saw her even crack a smile, but here she was, unlocking that trove of a sound to bless his ears.
"You're right though. Life is strange. After the court hearing, I really did hate you. Like, hate isn't even a strong enough word. I wanted to beat you. I'd even fantasies about it and—"
"Okay. I get it. You hated me," he cut in, wounded.
"But now..." with the tip of her finger she drew shapes into his chest, and the feathery feeling made him shudder. "I feel a different way about you—and there's not a strong enough word for that emotion, either."
There never would be a strong enough word to describe such a feeling, and Levi understood that well in advance. But there was one phrase that might get the feeling across.
"I love you, Mikasa."
The room fell into silence then, and even Mikasa's artistic finger halted mid-stroke.
"Levi..." her throat filled to the brim with emotion. It felt overbearing to hear. The only people who ever loved her was her parents, but that was a different kind of love. Up until now, she hadn't realized it, but Levi loved her fiercer than how he fought in battle, and she knew that in time, her love for him would surpass everything in this world.
Curling her body against his, she wished she could go into permanent hibernation and stay like this forever. "You're the first man who ever told me he loved me, you know."
"I find that excruciatingly hard to believe." A beautiful girl must've been confessed to before, surely, even if she didn't return the feelings.
"Okay, you win. Jean mumbled it randomly once, but that doesn't count."
His chest fluctuated with a dry chuckle. "That must've been painfully awkward."
"It was. He said it really quick under his breath in the mess hall, and Eren mistook it for a sneeze and handed him a tissue. I didn't want to admit I heard him, so I played along and said 'gesundheit'."
"It probably took him days to work up the courage to confess. Poor guy." A rueful sigh freed from his lips. "I miss my squad. Even if they're a bunch of brats—they're good kids."
"I miss them too." The faces of 104 squad flickered like phantoms in the darkness. This time alone with Levi and Kenny had been a life changing experience, but part of her just wanted to reunite with the others and get back out into the world, as cruel as it might be.
"The snow stopped and it's thawing at an alarming rate. They might be able to retrieve us soon."
Mikasa tried to picture the reunion for a passing minute, until a few concerns surfaced when she stumbled upon the realization that she and Levi left for this mission as a superior and underling with no personal ties, but were ending this mission with a romantic relationship and an impending marriage.
"…How are we going to tell them? You know…about us," she asked haltingly, wondering how each of them would react. Mikasa had no desire to keep her and Levi's new relationship a secret, and even if they tried, it would only add unnecessary stress. It's best to get it out in the open as soon as possible, but how to go about it troubled her.
"We'll cross that bridge when we get to it," Levi said, not knowing how they should tell them himself. "I imagine they'll all be quite shocked." More shocked than him, if that's possible. The drastic shift in their relationship hadn't even fully registered in his mind yet.
"Shocked isn't even a strong enough word."
"We really need to find stronger words for our vocabulary."
"Ironically, words are not our strong point," she giggled drowsily in Levi's arms, ascending up to plant one last kiss upon his lips, then returned to nuzzling her cheek against his chest. His words may not be strong, but as his loving arms guarded her from the night ahead, she affirmed that his hold around her certainly was.
Returning to the battlefield was going to be tough after this eventful ordeal, but her renewed disposition should serve as aid. Being here with Levi now, in his arms and hearing his soft breathing before he drifted into a dream, made her feel free, more free than what a thousand victories could grant her. This was what true freedom looked like. Freedom wasn't just the end of war and peace on earth because that day will never come, even if the titans are abolished. There would always be those who opposed, those who hate, those who concur the weak. Freedom in this world was a rare smile from a strict, grimacing man. Freedom was feeling content and safe in the arms of another. Freedom was knowing you shared this cruel world with someone who cared, someone who understood your warped and troubled mind. Mikasa already felt free, and so long as Levi stayed by her side, nothing would ever sway that feeling.
