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SONIC Z

Created: August 3, 2009 – Completed: September 23, 2010 (Revised: April 7, 2013)

[Disclaimer: Sonic and characters from the franchise are owned by SEGA. Any other characters, not owned by SEGA, are owned by their respectful owners.]

(Warning this may contain strong language and sexual content, viewer discretion is advised.)

Sonic Z episode 3

"Back to School"

Cream is going door-to-door selling Girl Scout cookies.

Cream: [Knocks on the door and someone opens it.] Excuse me, mister, I'm selling some…

Silver: (interrupts) CRACK?! IS IT CRACK?! I NEED TO GET MY PSYCHO-CHO-NESIS-SIS BACK!

Cream: [Goes to the next door and knocks.] Excuse me, but I'm selling…

Shadow: If it's those Girl Scout cookies then… [Takes out a machine gun.] my "little friend" will answer your question for me.

Cream: [Backs away slowly and knocks on the next door.] I'm selling Girl Scout cookies, do you wanna buy some?

Metal Sonic: (silent) …

Cream: Um… hello?

Metal Sonic: (still silent) …

Cream: (a little frustrated) Do you wanna buy my cookies?

Metal Sonic: …Are you f*cking stupid? I'm a God d*mn robot. What the f*ck am I gonna do with cookies? [Slams door in front of her face.]

Cream: God d*mmit… [Throws her hat down.] GOD D*MMIT!

Eggman hacked into every computer, television, and makes his speech.

Eggman: OOH! HOO, HOO, HOO, HOO!

Sonic: It's Eggman, what does he want now?

Eggman: This is…

Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles: (interrupts) "Dr. Eggman here to take over the world and enslave you all." God, you know Eggman this is REALLY old…

Eggman: …to force Sonic and every one of his friends to school! (laughs)

E-102 Gamma: That's really gay, sir.

Eggman: Shut up and keep rubbing my nipples.

E-102 Gamma: [Accidently bumps into computer desk which turns on webcam.]

Amy: (puts hand over mouth) Oh my f*cking God, that's so gross.

Eggman: Oh yes, Gamma massage them more.

Knuckles: OH MY GOD! IT'S A BEACHED WHALE!

Tails: (throws up)

Eggman: What the f*ck is this on?!

Everyone: 0_o

The next day, Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, and Amy wait for their bus…

Homeless Guy: (stuttering) N-Never g-gonna s-s-steal free TVs… again…

Tails: I'm guessing he saw it too?

Sonic: That sick son-of-a-b*tch… I hate Eggman…

Knuckles: Same here, homie dawg.

Amy (face palm)

[A car full of Pimps and Hoes pull up before them playing "Kiss me thru the phone" by Soulja Boy.]

Pimp Leader: Tails, why aren't you pimpin' with us anymore?

Tails: For one, I got shot. Second, SOULJA BOY F*CKING SUCKS!

Assistant Pimp: Soulja Boy is the sh*t, you better recognize… player.

Pimp Leader: Whatever, we out. B*tch drive us to the next strip club. There's a b*tch that owns me money. [Drives off.]

Tails: (sighs) I hope no one plays Soulja Boy's music again…

[Bus pulls up in front of them and plays Soulja Boy's "Turn My Swag On."]

Robot: Get in peasants.

Tails: (sighs again) I spoke too soon.

At School…

Red Robot: OK class, I will be teaching you about how to do Proofs. What you do first is…

Sonic: God this is so boring…

[From across the room.]

Vector: (whispers to Espio) I know a game we can all play to entertain ourselves.

Espio: (whispers) What is it?

Vector: (whispers quietly) penis…

Espio: Huh? Oh! (whispers a little louder) penis…

Charmy: (whispers) penis…

Shadow: (whispers) penis…

Amy: (whispers louder) Penis…

Knuckles: Penis...

Tails: PENIS! [Stands up.]

Red Robot: …Since you like penis so much, Tails, you're staying after class for a special "sucking" lesson.

Tails: Oh God…

After Class…

Tails: [Runs out the door.] I'M NOT SUCKING THAT! I'M NOT GAY!

Red Robot: (Yelling) YOU BETTER COME BACK HERE AND FINISH!

Tails: NOT EVEN IF I WAS STRAIGHT…I MEAN GAY! [Bumps into someone and falls down.]

Black guy named Tyrone: [Checking Tails out.] Mmm…you gotta pretty mouth, fox boy. (grinning)

Tails: NO!

Thirty-five painful minutes later…

Tails: (throwing up in the toilet)

Silver: How big was that black guy's d*ck again…0_0 and how far did you say you had to deep-throat that?!

During Lunch…

Amy: I know right. Sonic was like yeah and I was like no. Then my mom was like eww and I was like not really.

[From across the cafeteria.]

Knuckles: I wonder what those females are talking about, yo.

Sonic: I really don't care…by the way do we really have to eat this sh*t? It looks like donkey ass!

Shadow: I'm really into Maria…the chick with the blonde hair.

Knuckles: Go over there and holla at her, player. Be macking on her dawg.

Shadow: I don't know if she likes me…and stop trying so damn hard to be black!

Knuckles: …Don't hate the player…hate the game, homie. [Leaves.]

Shadow: …How the f*ck did he get that way anyway?

Sonic: …B.E.T.

Shadow: …That's sad.

Charmy: FOOD FIGHT!

[Charmy throws food at Shadow and hits him.]

Shadow: (gets pissed off) AH! [Grabs Charmy.] You…dirty…stuck-up…sadistic…sh*t eating, c*ck sucking, butt f*cking, penis smelling, crotch grabbing, ball licking, semen drinking, dog raping, Nazi loving, child touching, cow humping, perverted, spineless, heartless, mindless, d*ckless, testicle choking, urine gargling, jerk-offing, horse faced, sheep fondling, toilet kissing, self-centered, feces puking, dildo shoving, snot spitting, crap gathering, big nosed, monkey slapping, bastard screwing, bean shedding, fart knocking, sap busting, spluge tasting, bear blowing, head swallowing, b*tch snatching, hand jabbing, donkey caressing, mucus spewing, anus plugging, hoe grabbing, uncircumcised, sewer sipping, whore mongering, piss swimming, midget munching, douche bag, hoe biting, carnivorous, manhandling, prostituting A*SHOLE!

Charmy: I-I d-didn't mean it... (scared sh*tless)

Shadow: I JUST GOT MY CHEST HAIR WASHED YESTERDAY…YOU'RE DEAD!

Charmy: AHH! [Gets the sh*t beat outta him.]

Everyone in the cafeteria: FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

[Security comes in and tries to get Shadow off Charmy then eventually tazes and tranquilizes him.]

P.E. Class…

Yellow Robot: Dodge ball!

[Everyone from opposite sides grabs a ball and starts throwing them.]

Sonic: This is easy. (dodging) Huh? Why are you hiding behind me, Tails? If you wanna hide behind someone to avoid getting hit by the dodge ball, use Shadow as a shield. He's basically dead from that elephant tranquilizer they ejected in him.

Tails: No! I'm hiding from Tyrone! My fox ass can't take his large c*ck no MORE! [Disappears.]

Sonic: Say what?! [Gets hit by a ball and falls on back.]

Espio: Oh hell yeah! [Teabags Sonic.] How do you like these ninja balls in your face?!

Sonic: AH! Yuck! TOO F*CKING SALTY!

At the end of school…

Eggman: (on the announcements) Thank you for attending my school, Sonic and friends! And I would like to address that all of y'all LOST THE GAME! (laughs)

Everyone in school: GOD D*MMIT EGGMAN!

Eggman: GOTTA GO! [Runs.]

Everyone: GET YOU'RE ASS BACK HERE!

EMERGENCE MESSAGE COMING THROUGH!

Tails: Hello! This is Tails! [Looks around.] This is a warning message to everyone who will encounter a black man. [Looks around more.] If he looks at you funny, RUN! That goes for dudes too, RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! YOU'LL GET ANAL RAPED AND HAVE TO DEEP-THROAT THEIR GIGATIC D*CKS!

Tyrone: Finally found you. I need to get topped-off now, b*tch. (grinning)

Red Robot: AND FINISH WHAT YOU STARTED WITH ME!

Tails: God d*mmit! I gotta go- [End of message.]