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SONIC Z

Created: November 29, 2011 – Completed: January 26, 2012 (April 7, 2013)

[Disclaimer: Sonic and characters from the franchise are owned by SEGA. Any other characters, not owned by SEGA, are owned by their respectful owners.]

(Warning this may contain strong language and sexual content, viewer discretion is advised.)

Sonic Z episode 4

"Get a Job!"

Amy is in her desperate search for Sonic…

Amy: SONIC! WHERE ARE YOU?! (sighs)

Shadow: [Runs by and stops.] MARIA!

Amy: SONIC! (glomps)

Shadow: Get the hell off me, Amy!

Amy: I'm not letting you go, Sonic!

Shadow: Are you f*cking color-blind? I'm Shadow!

Amy: Oops, sorry… [Stops hugging Shadow.]

Shadow: You do this every f*cking time you see me. Do you wear glasses at all?!

Amy: I kinda broke them… hehehe.

Shadow: (face palm) Whatever, anyway have you seen Maria?

Amy: You need to put that woman on a leash.

Shadow: That's what I plan on doing, now where is she?!

Amy: Ok, Ok damn. The last time I saw her was at Tails' workshop.

Shadow: CHAOS CONTROL! NEXT STOP TAILS' WORKSHOP! [Vanishes.]

Amy: Well… time for me to resume my search for Sonic.

Silver: [Walks by.]

Amy: SONIC!

Silver: GOD D*MMIT AMY!

Meanwhile, at Tails' Workshop…

Tails: (sighs) I hate it when I have slow days like this. [Rubs mouth and throat.] Damn… they still hurt from last time.

Rouge: [Walks in.] Hey Tails, I was wondering what types of "toys" do you sale here?

Tails: I don't sale that here, Rouge are you serious?

Rouge: I really need something that'll give me a ride of my life, know what I mean? (winks)

Tails: Go to a different shop!

Rouge: Well… how about that thrusting machine over there? (points at it)

Tails: (turns around) That's not a "thrusting machine." It's a jet… [Faces foreword and sees Rouge running away with it.] …engine. GET BACK HERE!

Rouge: I'll bring it back when I'm done!

Tails: What the f*ck! Gross!

Shadow: [Chaos Controls into Tails' Workshop destroying everything.]

Tails: You a*shole! You destroyed my shop!

Shadow: Where's Maria?

Tails: (pissed off) AHHHHHHH!

Hours later…

Tails: Say what?!

Insurance Company: We didn't even say anything yet, sir.

Tails: Oh, what were you about to say?

Insurance Company: Sorry, but your shop is not covered by any Insurance Company, sir.

Tails: SAY WHAT?!

Insurance Company: Are you deaf, sir? Anyway, we cannot help you. [Leaves.]

Tails: Damn you, Shadow!

Shadow: Not my problem.

Tails: Ugh! What am I going to do for work now?

Gingerbread man: Try out for an AD Commercial.

Tails: Yeah! I'll do just tha-wait. Who are you?!

Gingerbread man: You can't catch me! I'm the Gingerbread man! [Runs away.]

Tails: Like hell I can't! Get your ass back here! [Chases him.]

The Next Day…

Director: Ready… ACTION!

Tails: Can GEICO save you 15% or more on Car Insurance? …What are you a sheep-man?

[Transitions to a sheep-man.]

Sheep-man: …I f*ck sheep…

Director: CUT! CUT! I'm sorry, but you literally f*cked this up big time.

Tails: Haha, sucks to be you!

Director: I was referring to you Mr. Prower!

Tails: What?!

Director: You're cut!

Tails: [Walks away in shame.]

Sheep-man: Maybe if you f*cked sheep you would've not been cut. (creepy smile)

Tails: (shakes head) What a sick-f*ck. [Exits the building and sits on the curb.] Now what?

Gingerbread man: Try to make a viral video.

Tails: That's a good idea-what a minute! [Chases him.]

Gingerbread man: Can't touch this motherf*cker!

Later on that day…

Tails: Are you sure this will work, Knuckles?

Knuckles: Fo' sho, my homie. Just hold that big rock tight, so I can hit it. [Starts the recording.]

Tails: Ok, Knuckles.

Knuckles: [Cracks his knuckles and backs up; putting his dukes up.]

Tails: [Holds the rock tightly, closing his eyes.]

Knuckles: [Charges up to Tails and kicks him in the balls.]

Tails: [Drops the rock on his foot, falls backwards holding his package while screaming in pain.] AAAAHHHHHH! F*CK ME!

Sonic: [Laugh his ass off.] Hahaha!

Knuckles: (teary-eyed) Haha, day-um that sh*t turned out funnier than we originally planned, Sonic. (laughing) My ribs are done, haha.

Sonic: You're telling me. (continues laughing)

Tails: F*ck you, douchebag a*sholes! [Still cupping balls.]

Sonic: Knux upload that to YouTube. (chuckling)

Knuckles: You already know, homie. [Uploading the video.]

Hours later…

Sonic: Holy Chaos Emeralds! Look Knuckles!

Knuckles: Our video got millions of views, got featured in RayWilliamJohnson's video, and even the news!

Sonic: Hell yeah! We in the money, Knux!

Tails: [Ice on his package.] Where's my cut?

Knuckles: Your cut? Shut up. The video belongs to Sonic and I. You don't own sh*t!

Tails: I… seriously… hate you guys. [Kicks the door open and leaves.]

Knuckles: Don't be kicking my God d*man door, nig-

Tails: [Walking aimlessly.] What other occupations should I apply to, to get my source of income? [Looks around.] Hmmm… Ok nothing.

Gingerbread man: Be part of the reality show "Shore… Jersey" or something like that.

Tails: That's IT! [Throws the icepack at him.]

Gingerbread man: [Dodges the icepack and kicks him in the balls.] Hehehe! [Disappears.]

Tails: You son-of-a-b*tch! [On knees; cupping balls.] Ugh! Maybe that reality show will get me lots of money… and poon too.

On the set…

Tails: Hey, I'm new to the Shore cast.

The Situation: Make sure you show your abs then you good.

Tails: Ok?

The Situation: Leggo baby! YEAH!

Tails: This guy is really obnoxious.

Vinny: He really is.

Tails: [Sees Snooki.] Holy crap, finally someone as tall as I am.

Snooki: Oh my God, it's a fox! That fox will eat me!

Tails: Wait! I'm harmless.

Snooki: [Gets knocked the f*ck out by a random punch.]

Entire cast: Ooooo Snooki, damn again?!

Tails: What the f*ck?!

JWoww: Look at my perfect boobies!

Tails: Ummm… ok?

Pauly D: 'Sup, I'm Pauly D.

Tails: Stop it!

The Situation: Booze for everyone… on Vinny's tab.

Vinny: You motherf*cker!

[Tails exits the place.]

Tails: Enough of this nonsense! I know what job I want to do now!

On the set… again.

Boss: Just read the teleprompter to the camera aloud in a clear voice so everyone can hear.

Tails: Alright. [Recording starts.] That was weather now- ummm… there's nothing there.

The Other Guy: What you talking about? It's on.

Tails: But there's no words… still no words. Whatever… [Starts again.] That was news back to- (whispers) F*cking sh*t.

The Other Guy: What's wrong?

Tails: (irritated) Let's do it live… LET'S DO IT LIVE, FUCK IT! WE'LL DO IT LIVE! [Starts live.] That was weather now take it away, John. F*cking thing sucks!

Boss: You're fired! Get your sh*t and get the f*ck out!

Tails: GOD-D*MMIT!

At the entrance of a bank…

Tails: I can't take it no more! I'm doing it. [Puts ski-mask on and goes in guns blazin'.] Get the f*ck on the floor and hand me the money!

[Pedestrians get on the ground.]

Tails: [Points gun at one of the female co-workers.] Put the money in the sack! Hurry up!

Female worker: [Ducks under the desk.]

Tails: What the f*ck?! [Gets kicked in the balls… again.] FFFF****CCCCKKKK!

Gingerbread man: [Snatches Tails' gun.] Do you know whose bank you trying to rob?

Tails: What the-ah! Yours?! [On the ground; cupping balls.]

Gingerbread man: You're gonna feel right at home in the big house. (grins)

Tails: (gulps) Oh no!

At prison in the shower room…

Tails: Don't drop the soap, don't drop the soap, DON'T DROP THE SOAP! [Drops it.] God no…

Tyrone: You better pick that up and finish washing, nig-

Tails: [Cries while picking it up.]

Tyrone: [Pounds it hard in Tails while he screams "Bloody Murder."]