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SONIC Z
Created: November 29, 2011 – Completed: January 26, 2012 (April 7, 2013)
[Disclaimer: Sonic and characters from the franchise are owned by SEGA. Any other characters, not owned by SEGA, are owned by their respectful owners.]
(Warning this may contain strong language and sexual content, viewer discretion is advised.)
Sonic Z episode 4
"Get a Job!"
Amy is in her desperate search for Sonic…
Amy: SONIC! WHERE ARE YOU?! (sighs)
Shadow: [Runs by and stops.] MARIA!
Amy: SONIC! (glomps)
Shadow: Get the hell off me, Amy!
Amy: I'm not letting you go, Sonic!
Shadow: Are you f*cking color-blind? I'm Shadow!
Amy: Oops, sorry… [Stops hugging Shadow.]
Shadow: You do this every f*cking time you see me. Do you wear glasses at all?!
Amy: I kinda broke them… hehehe.
Shadow: (face palm) Whatever, anyway have you seen Maria?
Amy: You need to put that woman on a leash.
Shadow: That's what I plan on doing, now where is she?!
Amy: Ok, Ok damn. The last time I saw her was at Tails' workshop.
Shadow: CHAOS CONTROL! NEXT STOP TAILS' WORKSHOP! [Vanishes.]
Amy: Well… time for me to resume my search for Sonic.
Silver: [Walks by.]
Amy: SONIC!
Silver: GOD D*MMIT AMY!
Meanwhile, at Tails' Workshop…
Tails: (sighs) I hate it when I have slow days like this. [Rubs mouth and throat.] Damn… they still hurt from last time.
Rouge: [Walks in.] Hey Tails, I was wondering what types of "toys" do you sale here?
Tails: I don't sale that here, Rouge are you serious?
Rouge: I really need something that'll give me a ride of my life, know what I mean? (winks)
Tails: Go to a different shop!
Rouge: Well… how about that thrusting machine over there? (points at it)
Tails: (turns around) That's not a "thrusting machine." It's a jet… [Faces foreword and sees Rouge running away with it.] …engine. GET BACK HERE!
Rouge: I'll bring it back when I'm done!
Tails: What the f*ck! Gross!
Shadow: [Chaos Controls into Tails' Workshop destroying everything.]
Tails: You a*shole! You destroyed my shop!
Shadow: Where's Maria?
Tails: (pissed off) AHHHHHHH!
Hours later…
Tails: Say what?!
Insurance Company: We didn't even say anything yet, sir.
Tails: Oh, what were you about to say?
Insurance Company: Sorry, but your shop is not covered by any Insurance Company, sir.
Tails: SAY WHAT?!
Insurance Company: Are you deaf, sir? Anyway, we cannot help you. [Leaves.]
Tails: Damn you, Shadow!
Shadow: Not my problem.
Tails: Ugh! What am I going to do for work now?
Gingerbread man: Try out for an AD Commercial.
Tails: Yeah! I'll do just tha-wait. Who are you?!
Gingerbread man: You can't catch me! I'm the Gingerbread man! [Runs away.]
Tails: Like hell I can't! Get your ass back here! [Chases him.]
The Next Day…
Director: Ready… ACTION!
Tails: Can GEICO save you 15% or more on Car Insurance? …What are you a sheep-man?
[Transitions to a sheep-man.]
Sheep-man: …I f*ck sheep…
Director: CUT! CUT! I'm sorry, but you literally f*cked this up big time.
Tails: Haha, sucks to be you!
Director: I was referring to you Mr. Prower!
Tails: What?!
Director: You're cut!
Tails: [Walks away in shame.]
Sheep-man: Maybe if you f*cked sheep you would've not been cut. (creepy smile)
Tails: (shakes head) What a sick-f*ck. [Exits the building and sits on the curb.] Now what?
Gingerbread man: Try to make a viral video.
Tails: That's a good idea-what a minute! [Chases him.]
Gingerbread man: Can't touch this motherf*cker!
Later on that day…
Tails: Are you sure this will work, Knuckles?
Knuckles: Fo' sho, my homie. Just hold that big rock tight, so I can hit it. [Starts the recording.]
Tails: Ok, Knuckles.
Knuckles: [Cracks his knuckles and backs up; putting his dukes up.]
Tails: [Holds the rock tightly, closing his eyes.]
Knuckles: [Charges up to Tails and kicks him in the balls.]
Tails: [Drops the rock on his foot, falls backwards holding his package while screaming in pain.] AAAAHHHHHH! F*CK ME!
Sonic: [Laugh his ass off.] Hahaha!
Knuckles: (teary-eyed) Haha, day-um that sh*t turned out funnier than we originally planned, Sonic. (laughing) My ribs are done, haha.
Sonic: You're telling me. (continues laughing)
Tails: F*ck you, douchebag a*sholes! [Still cupping balls.]
Sonic: Knux upload that to YouTube. (chuckling)
Knuckles: You already know, homie. [Uploading the video.]
Hours later…
Sonic: Holy Chaos Emeralds! Look Knuckles!
Knuckles: Our video got millions of views, got featured in RayWilliamJohnson's video, and even the news!
Sonic: Hell yeah! We in the money, Knux!
Tails: [Ice on his package.] Where's my cut?
Knuckles: Your cut? Shut up. The video belongs to Sonic and I. You don't own sh*t!
Tails: I… seriously… hate you guys. [Kicks the door open and leaves.]
Knuckles: Don't be kicking my God d*man door, nig-
Tails: [Walking aimlessly.] What other occupations should I apply to, to get my source of income? [Looks around.] Hmmm… Ok nothing.
Gingerbread man: Be part of the reality show "Shore… Jersey" or something like that.
Tails: That's IT! [Throws the icepack at him.]
Gingerbread man: [Dodges the icepack and kicks him in the balls.] Hehehe! [Disappears.]
Tails: You son-of-a-b*tch! [On knees; cupping balls.] Ugh! Maybe that reality show will get me lots of money… and poon too.
On the set…
Tails: Hey, I'm new to the Shore cast.
The Situation: Make sure you show your abs then you good.
Tails: Ok?
The Situation: Leggo baby! YEAH!
Tails: This guy is really obnoxious.
Vinny: He really is.
Tails: [Sees Snooki.] Holy crap, finally someone as tall as I am.
Snooki: Oh my God, it's a fox! That fox will eat me!
Tails: Wait! I'm harmless.
Snooki: [Gets knocked the f*ck out by a random punch.]
Entire cast: Ooooo Snooki, damn again?!
Tails: What the f*ck?!
JWoww: Look at my perfect boobies!
Tails: Ummm… ok?
Pauly D: 'Sup, I'm Pauly D.
Tails: Stop it!
The Situation: Booze for everyone… on Vinny's tab.
Vinny: You motherf*cker!
[Tails exits the place.]
Tails: Enough of this nonsense! I know what job I want to do now!
On the set… again.
Boss: Just read the teleprompter to the camera aloud in a clear voice so everyone can hear.
Tails: Alright. [Recording starts.] That was weather now- ummm… there's nothing there.
The Other Guy: What you talking about? It's on.
Tails: But there's no words… still no words. Whatever… [Starts again.] That was news back to- (whispers) F*cking sh*t.
The Other Guy: What's wrong?
Tails: (irritated) Let's do it live… LET'S DO IT LIVE, FUCK IT! WE'LL DO IT LIVE! [Starts live.] That was weather now take it away, John. F*cking thing sucks!
Boss: You're fired! Get your sh*t and get the f*ck out!
Tails: GOD-D*MMIT!
At the entrance of a bank…
Tails: I can't take it no more! I'm doing it. [Puts ski-mask on and goes in guns blazin'.] Get the f*ck on the floor and hand me the money!
[Pedestrians get on the ground.]
Tails: [Points gun at one of the female co-workers.] Put the money in the sack! Hurry up!
Female worker: [Ducks under the desk.]
Tails: What the f*ck?! [Gets kicked in the balls… again.] FFFF****CCCCKKKK!
Gingerbread man: [Snatches Tails' gun.] Do you know whose bank you trying to rob?
Tails: What the-ah! Yours?! [On the ground; cupping balls.]
Gingerbread man: You're gonna feel right at home in the big house. (grins)
Tails: (gulps) Oh no!
At prison in the shower room…
Tails: Don't drop the soap, don't drop the soap, DON'T DROP THE SOAP! [Drops it.] God no…
Tyrone: You better pick that up and finish washing, nig-
Tails: [Cries while picking it up.]
Tyrone: [Pounds it hard in Tails while he screams "Bloody Murder."]
