Dr. Keyes walked into Greg's room and saw him looking up at the ceiling, seemingly mumbling something to his self. He walked up closer and ended up startling Greg.

"Hey, Doc. I didn't hear you come in. You scared me," he chuckled a little.

"Yes, you seemed very focused on something up there." He had pointed up to the ceiling.

Greg chuckled again lightly. "Yeah, that. I was thinking why hospitals always have to have such white ceilings and walls. It really is depressing. They need to liven it up," he told him. It was a complete lie. He had been thinking more seriously how he was going to end his life. He had thought about cutting his wrists when he got home, but Nick could walk in on him before he had bled to death. He had thought about getting Nick's gun, but he knew he locked them away and he didn't know the code on the lock. Nick did that on purpose. He could try overdosing on pills, but again he risked the chance of still living if he didn't do it right. Plus he had to find a way to do any of this without Nick being around. It was going to require more planning once he got home.

Dr. Keyes looked up and figured Greg had a good point. "I do suppose some brighter colors might do some good but white is easier to clean up or paint over."

"True, I guess," Greg smiled some.

"So Greg, what do you think about going home tomorrow?" Dr. Keyes asked him. Greg's smile got bigger. "Really? Do you think I can? I really want to."

Dr. Keyes had been impressed with how well Greg was dealing with things since his breakdown over a week ago. He seemed to have a change of heart. He just hoped sending him home was the right move. Unfortunately, he didn't give him any reason in the last week to think otherwise.

"Yes, I do. So what are your plans when you get home" the doctor asked Greg. Greg knew his real plans were going to be kept to himself.

"I guess I am going to try to get acclimated to life again after everything that has happened. I know I still get the nightmares but I've been working through them better. I think it helps knowing he is dead. That and I can get the skin grafts done."

"Yes, but Dr. Meadows said you wanted to hold off a little on those. Why?"

"Um, I guess I want to see how it really looks when it is more healed up. Maybe it won't be so bad. I just am not thrilled with the idea of skin grafts, so I rather hold off until I know for sure I want it done." Greg said to him. He had thought about it a little and he was not completely lying but overall he knew he would not be around long enough to need them.

"Well, I will expect to see you once a week for sure. Plus check in by phone two more times a week with me as an agreement to your release. You seem to be doing well with the medications you are on, but things can change, as we already know. If you miss any of the check-ins for no valid reason, I might have to reconsider things," Dr. Keyes warned him.

"Reconsider things, how so?" Greg asked feeling a little worried suddenly.

"Reconsider how you are really doing and if you have buried your feelings deep down that suddenly one day, you might lose it all together."

Greg swallowed because he knew in a way that was the case. He was barely able to keep up the façade with him right now. But the thought of being closer to his ultimate goal pulled him through.

"I get it but you will see that is not the case. I know exactly where my head is right now and how I feel. Life sucks but you gotta keep moving on. Nick being there for me always helps."

"Yes, I do believe he is your rock. Just know this has not been easy on him either. Even rocks can get cracks in them."

Greg nodded, again feeling some guilt surge in him. "I know."

"Okay, well I think I will get started on getting you released tomorrow. You can call Nick and let him know."

Greg actually felt happy to know he was going home. He knew that soon he would be able to finally find his peace, because that is all he really wanted.

The next day Nick was driving to the hospital to pick up Greg. He was happy and yet he was on edge some. He worried about how Greg would be when he was home with him all the time. Well most of the time anyway. He tried to get more time off of work, but pretty soon he would not have a job if he took off more time than he already had. Jack had covered for him so much, but even Jack was tired of going without his partner. Nick had told him he just needed to make sure Greg seemed to be doing well enough to be left home alone for any length of time.

Nick pulled up to the hospital pick up area. He had called ahead and advised them he would be there soon. They would bring Greg down in a wheelchair, since that was hospital procedure.

He parked the car temporarily and walked in to see if he was ready. He saw a nurse wheeling him out of the elevator just as he walked in. He couldn't believe that Greg actually looked happy. Maybe he would be okay after all. Maybe all of Nick's own worries were getting the best of him.

The nurse stopped at the nurse's station with Greg. Nick came over to them. "I need to have you sign off that you are picking him up and then you can be on your way. Mr. Sanders has his medication ready for pick-up at your pharmacy."

Nick signed the paper work. He looked down at Greg then. "Are you ready?" Greg said yes. He was eager to get home so he could figure out how he was going to achieve his final task without problems. He was not going to be rescued this time around. It would be final.

Nick took him in the wheelchair just outside the entrance. Greg looked around for Nick's car and then saw his car. "Why are you in my car?" Greg asked him. Nick shrugged. "My car is at the shop right now, getting new tires, since I had a flat last night. So I took yours since it's been sitting in the garage."

"Oh," Greg said. He looked at his car and had a brief flash back to when he was grabbed from behind before being dragged off by Frankie. Nick saw him frown a moment and kicked himself, realizing that Greg had last seen his car just before he was taken.

"Sorry, I didn't think. Are you going to be okay?" Nick asked him. Greg took a deep breath and looked up at him. "Yeah, I mean nothing actually happened in the car, so yeah I am going to be okay. I just want to get home."

"I know. First we stop and pick up your prescriptions and then we can go home." Nick saw him nod and proceeded to help him stand up. He knew he was still sore and in some pain from his chest, but it had subsided a lot.

He opened the passenger door for Greg and helped him get in. Then he went around and got in and started the engine. "Ready to roll?" Nick asked him.

"Yes, let's go." Greg looked out at the rather dreary day as they drove. He thought it was sort of fitting his real mood.

They pulled up to Walgreens to pick up his pills. "I can go in and get them for you, if you don't want to go in. Do you want anything else while I am in there?" Nick asked him.

Greg pondered a moment and realized he was a bit hungry. "Maybe something to munch on, I didn't eat much today."

"Okay, will you be okay out here if I leave you here without the keys?" Nick didn't trust him alone with a car with keys in it at that moment.

"Uh, yeah sure, let me crack down the windows some just for a little air. You won't be long."

"No, no time at all. Be right back!" Nick took the keys with him and locked the car once he left. Greg frowned, thinking he could still get out if he wanted to, if that was Nick's reason for locking it.

Greg looked around and it was off hours, so the parking lot was fairly empty. He looked at his dashboard, which was not in the best of condition, and suddenly remembered something. He looked at the glove compartment and opened the door. He could not believe his eyes or his luck. Nick never looked at his glove compartment. Nick never saw the heroin he had put in there that he got from Shane before he was taken. He quickly grabbed it and put the stuff in his hoodie pockets, which luckily had zippers on them. He zipped them up and quickly closed the compartment.

Suddenly his plan came into focus. Drugs had always been the answer for him in the last few years and this time they would answer his final need. It was just a matter of when now. He had to find enough time in the next couple of days to either get away from Nick to use the heroin or hope Nick left him alone for enough time to do it. At least now he had his way to reach his peace.

He was so deep in thought that when Nick opened the locks on the door, he jumped a little. "Hey, sorry, didn't mean to spook you," Nick said to him as he slid in the driver's seat. He tossed him the bag from the store. "What were you thinking about?" Nick asked him, seeing he seemed to have a worried look on his face suddenly.

"Oh I guess just freaking myself out some, since it is so quiet here and it is beginning to rain. Reminded me some of that day…" Greg lied, but even as he said it he realized it really did.

"Well, we will be home soon and you can be tucked up in your own bed, feeling safe."

Greg smiled. He did like that idea. "Yes, sounds good."

Greg remained surprisingly calm, seeing as he had about 500mg of heroin in his pocket. He realized he had to find a good hiding spot for it inside the house where Nick would not discover it before he needed it.

When they entered the house, Nick walked in ahead of him. As Greg stepped in, he remembered the last time he had been in there. It was when Nick had found out he was on drugs again. He made him leave; which led him to seeing Shane and then being kidnapped by Frankie. His hand went to his chest, his mind starting to replay that mantra. He felt himself start to quiver as the memory of having the word whore carved into his chest came back to him.

Nick turned around and saw that Greg had his hand on his chest and seemed to be in a slight daze. He wondered if his coming home was cracking his emotional block he seemed to have put up. "Hey, are you going to be okay?"

Greg suddenly realized he had started to go back to that moment. He was glad Nick spoke to him or he was afraid he might have cracked. He had worked so hard to block it out and stay focused on holding it in until he could make it home. He reminded himself it was only a matter of days, maybe even hours before he could find his peace. He shook his head and lowered his hand back down to his side.

"Yes, I will be fine. I just had a moment, being here at home again, thinking of the last time I was here. You found out I was on drugs again," he said to Nick.

Nick nodded, sadly. "Yes, I remember. I made you leave and then…" he paused a moment, thinking of what happened to Greg after that. "…well we know what happened."

Greg looked down. "Yes." He rubbed his hands over his face. He felt a little off.

"I need to use the bathroom," he said and then headed towards the guest bathroom, since it was closest. He shut the door behind him and looked at himself in the mirror. He realized he looked like hell still but it fit his mood. He turned on the faucet to let the water run. He splashed water onto his face. He wiped his face off with a towel but kept the water running to cover any sound. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the drugs and paraphernalia. He opened the cabinet below and looked through it. He found some first aid tape. He had an idea.

He knew Nick hardly ever used that bathroom, so anything should be safe in there, especially if he taped his stuff to the back, underside of the sink. He rolled the tape and tore it off piece by piece until he was sure the drug stuff would stay put and not fall off. He stood back and couldn't see any of it at all. He put the tape back and then turned off the water. He felt better know the drugs weren't on him anymore and they were safely stored until he had his final plan made.

He opened the door and stepped out of the bathroom. He looked down the hall at the bedroom he shared with Nick. He couldn't be with him. He couldn't get his hopes up too much, knowing what he would be doing to him soon.

Yes, there was a part of him that knew he would be destroying Nick but then he also knew that with time he would move on. He did when he left him before. He knew it was be ten times harder this time but Nick was strong and he would move on.

He looked back the other direction and saw Nick sitting on the sofa, looking at him.

"Are you okay?" Nick finally asked him.

"Yeah, well I guess I am kind of tired. I think I might just go to bed early," he shrugged. Nick stood up and walked towards him.

"I'm kind of tired too. Haven't been sleeping well, if you know what I mean," Nick frowned. Nick stopped right by him and then motioned his hands to go ahead towards their bedroom.

Greg shook his head. "I'm…I'm going to use the guest bedroom for now."

Nick sighed. "Come on, it's just sleeping. We can share our king bed."

Greg shook his head more vehemently. "Please Nick, don't argue with me. I just need to be in my own room for a few nights."

Nick saw the pleading in his eyes and couldn't fault him. He still didn't really know what he was thinking. Heck, Greg never even really told the full story of what happened in that room between him and Frankie. He hoped one day he would feel comfortable enough to really talk to him about it. That was the one thing that Dr. Keyes still was leery of about him, that he had not totally come to terms with what happened to him. Dr. Keyes had told Nick privately that he hoped if Greg was home, feeling more comfortable, he would start to talk about it more.

"Okay, but there are no sheets on the bed, let me at least make it for you," Nick said to him. Greg nodded. "Yeah, okay probably better since I'm still sore overall. Speaking of, I'll just go in the kitchen and grab something to drink to take my pills with."

Greg gave Nick a couple minutes, after grabbing a couple things out of their bedroom that he needed and came into the guest bedroom. Nick was just finishing putting on the final pillowcase. Greg felt a rush of guilt come over him, seeing Nick do all this for him when he knew he didn't plan on being around for him much longer.

Nick turned around. "Done, it looks like you got what you need. Just holler if you need anything else. You know where to find me."

Greg nodded slowly. "Yes, thanks." He didn't know what else to say to him. He just wanted him gone so he wouldn't feel so bad.

Nick could see he was done with talking so he said goodnight and left to go to his bedroom.

Greg shut the door after him and started to change his clothes. When he caught of glimpse of his chest in the dresser mirror, the guilt left him completely. He walked up closer and could see the huge word cut into his chest. And then he could see the smaller one above it. That one was more difficult to make out, luckily. His mind started the evil mantra on repeat. That was all he needed to know he was making the right decision. He couldn't handle knowing he was forever marked in such a horrid way. He felt like a whore and he thought he would pretty much die like one also.

He quickly pulled on a t-shirt and PJ pants to cover himself up. He felt an overwhelming disgust and hatred with himself. He wanted so bad to make it all stop permanently now but he knew Nick was only a room away and might 'save' him again. When he did it this time, he was going to make sure he would not be found in enough time to be saved. He was not going to mess it up like he messed up the rest of his life.

He crawled into bed and stared into the darkness. He started to figure out how he could accomplish his goal sooner rather than later. He refused to live with his deep bedded emotional pain much longer.