Fili and Kili had not gone to sit in the car. Instead Kili had slipped out of his brother's grasp and raced back to press his ear against the door hiding his uncle and the cute drifter.

"What are you doing?" Fili hissed at him.

"I want to see if he asks her out." Kili whispered, "can't you tell he likes her?"

"He doesn't even know her," Fili argued, "For all he knows she could be a drug addict or a wanted felon."

"So could everybody," Kili countered, "now SHHH!" Fili stood there for half a second and then pushed his ear against the other side of the door.

"Please," Thorin was saying, even through the door he sounded frantic, "Please, it's all going to be okay."

"How do you know that." The girl sounded like she was crying, "I'm homeless and destitute."

"Because," he said, "because you can come live with me."

"What?" Fili whispered to his brother, absolutely horrified.

"Awesome," Kili grinned.

"It is not awesome!" Fili looked like he was going to have a heart attack, "Clearly he is still not over his depression from Mom's death and to fill the void has invited a complete stranger to live with us!"

"Why are you always so dramatic?" Kili un-crouched and started walking towards the parking lot, "I think it'll be good for him to be around someone other than us and Uncle Balin."

"She could be a murderer!"

"So could I someday if I have to be around you for too long." Kili unlocked the car and slid into the front seat. He wrinkled his nose at the smell of stale vomit. They had tried to clean it all up using a roll of paper towels and a package of Armoral wipes they had found in the glove compartment, clearly they had not succeeded.

"We're going to have to get this thing detailed," Fili said, sliding in next to him.

"What are you doing get in the back!" Kili said giving him a shove. Fili looked affronted.

"Why?"

"Because we're not making our soon-to-be new aunt sit back there with the puke puddle!"

"Why not? She's the one who made it!"

(Meanwhile)

"I can what?" Billie asked again.

"You can stay with me for a while," Thorin said, staring down at his shoes, "if you really don't have anywhere else to go - he trailed off.

"Um," Billie really didn't know how to respond to such an offer. It was hard to form complete sentences while the back of her mind was screaming, "STRANGER DANGER! STRANGER DANGER!"

"That's very generous of you but- won't your wife mind?" She just assumed such a handsome, kind man was attached to someone.

Thorin gave a little laugh, "I don't have a wife."

"Girlfriend?" Thorin shook his head, "Your husband then?"

His ears set off their embarrassment alarm, "I'm not gay." Billie raised her hands in a sorry gesture.

"Hey, you never know. I was just asking, to each their own."

"It's just me and my nephews," he explained in a much deeper voice than before, "We're staying at a friends for the next few nights, but we closed on a house today." He cleared his throat, his voice went back to normal, "There's plenty of room there for one more."

"I- Billie started, her pride and her cynical side were screaming at her to say no. Good Samaritan though he was he could still be an axe murderer. Plus, her pride added, she would be just fine on her own…probably.

"Like you were on the highway?" Another head voice argued, she wasn't sure which one this was but it sounded sensible. "Like you were for the last few months, sleeping in Lizzy's spare room and eating her leftovers? Oh yeah, you were doing awesome by yourself."

"You're really mean," her pride said and retired from the conversation.

"Axe murderer!" her cynical side shouted.

"If he was going to hurt you he would have done it while you were unconscious." The sensible-head-voice said, "Say yes, it'll at least be a place to stay for tonight. You can figure out another plan in the morning."

"If I really won't be a bother to you." Billie found herself saying. Thorin perked up, like a cat who hears his Friskies can being opened in a commercial.

"No, it'll be no trouble at all." He finished taking her blood pressure and wrote something on the clipboard he'd retrieved from the floor. "I'll go talk to the front desk and get you ready to be discharged." He gave her a smile and strode from the room. Billie took a deep breath and leaned back against her pillows.

"…Okay."

(…And then)

"Welcome to Uncle Balin's!" Kili said, shoving open the front door. They had driven from the hospital to a nice suburban area, old enough for all the houses to be different, this one most noticeably so. For some reason there was a boat half buried in the front yard.

"Uncle? I thought this was his friend's house?" Billie asked Fili, who was right behind her.

"Kili and I were little when Uncle Thorin started going through college," the blonde explained, "He was always babysitting us, so all of his friends became our surrogate uncles."

"Unfortunately for them?" Billie asked. Fili laughed, and Kili gasped in mock outrage.

"How dare you Ms. Baggins, we were nothing short of angelic as children. Sweet, little cherubs, sent down to-

"Cover the world in darkness. God, could you shout any louder?" A light went on upstairs and an older man in pajama bottoms and nothing else stumbled down to join them in the hall. His soft rounded belly wiggled every time he took a step; he was followed closely a stately looking woman in a pink bathrobe.

"You two realize what time it is, don't you?" the woman asked. Kili grinned at her.

"Just trying to add some spice to your life Aunt Dori. Besides it's only midnight." Dori tried to look angry and failed miserably, she reached over and ruffled Kili's hair, then noticing Billie, standing behind him let out a gasp.

"Oh my. Dear," she turned to her husband, "It looks like we have a guest."

"What are you talking about, looks like? We've had them for a week and a ha- Billie stepped out from behind Kili's back. "Oh!" Thorin walked up at that moment, "You pick up a stray Oakenshield?"

"Balin!" his wife scolded, she gave the boys a push down the hall, "There's leftover tater tot casserole in the fridge. You two go get some- the boys had already raced into the kitchen, "Don't eat all of it!" Dori shouted after them. She turned to Billie, "What's your name honey?"

"Billie," Billie stretched out a hand to the older woman, "Billie Baggins."

"Lovely to meet you," Dori said, her handshake and smile genuine, she put a hand on Billie shoulder and started to steer her up the stairs. "Come on, I'll show you were you can sleep, and you probably want a shower?"

"Oh," Billie smiled, "Yes please."

"Don't get your stiches wet." Thorin warned. She looked down at him and nodded, then followed Dori out of sight.

Balin crossed his arms and glared at Thorin. The other man had dropped out of college after only one semester and joined the Army at the tender age of 19. Consequently, when upset he had a tendency to get all…sergeant-y.

"Explain." he said.

(Meanwhile)

Fili tapped his fingers on the top of the microwave while he waited for his food to heat up. "You really think he likes her?" he asked his brother, who was busy pouring more frozen tater tots over his casserole, while waiting for his turn for the microwave.

"Duh," Kili said, opening the fridge to scrounge around for the milk. "He offered for her to live with us."

"That could just be another of his White Knight moments, you know how he gets. Remember that thing with the rescue llama when we were 4?"

Kili glared at his twin from around the refrigerator door, "I thought we agreed never to mention Snookums again."

"You still aren't over that?" Fili laughed at him, "That was 14 years ago."

"Mom said she was invincible," Kili glumly slumped at the kitchen table, "I thought that meant she could take on a truck." Fili practically doubled over laughing, though really there is nothing funny about a 4-year-old boy riding a llama into traffic. Even if the 4-year-old slips off and is miraculously saved from having his brains join the llamas as they splat across the street.

"Aaaanywaaays," Kili said, interrupting his brother's laughter, "Yes, I think he likes her. At the very least he thinks she's cute."

"Well, he's right there," Fili sighed, "And, I guess, it has been awhile since," he lowered his voice to a whisper, "The Arkenstone."

"Shhh!" Kili said, glancing behind him frantically, "Don't even say her codename. He might be onto it and he can finally listen to Paramore again."

"Okay, okay," the microwave beeped and Fili grabbed his plate out, "Sorry." Kili shoved him to the side to insert his extra tater tot-y casserole for reheating. "But, you're sure he isn't just being nice?" Kili sighed and buried his face in his hand.

(Meanwhile)

"And this is the bathroom," Dori flicked on a light, "Towels are right there and there should be plenty of shampoo and such." She gave Billies shoulder a squeeze. "I'll put some of my pajamas outside the door for you to change into, come downstairs when you're dressed and I'll heat you up something to eat." She turned to leave.

"Thank you," Billie said. Dori gave her a smile and closed the door. Billie sighed and walked over to turn on the shower, as she passed the mirror she glanced at it and then, Couldn't. Look. Away.

They really had shaved her head! Well at least part of it. Everywhere else her sandy, brown curls hung to the middle of her back, but in a rainbow around the bandage affixed to her scalp they had been chopped to buzzcut length. In the mirror Billie watched her hazel-blue eyes fill up with tears. She knew it was stupid to be crying about her hair but, it was really, ugly. Really, really ugly.

She turned on the shower so Dori wouldn't hear her and sank onto the bathroom floor.

(…And then)

Billie came down the stairs half an hour later, all cried out, wearing Dori's pajamas and feeling a million times better. Though it had been ridiculously difficult to shower without getting her head wet and she hadn't even tried to wash what was left of her hair.

Thorin, his nephews, Balin and Dori were all sitting in the kitchen eating brownies. Dori ushered her into a chair and put a plate of something fantastic smelling in front of her. She hadn't realized how hungry she was until she took the first bite. After that it was all she could do not to inhale everything on the table.

The others were all in the middle of a conversation about something that had happened back in college. Billie only half listened as she ate, her head resting on her hand. Dori gave her second helpings, and third helpings, she probably would have moved on to fourth helpings but Billie literally fell asleep with her fork halfway to her mouth. It fell to the floor with a clatter, making the rest of the group jump.

"Oh, poor things all tuckered out," Dori cooed.

"Don't you be bringing home drifters too now, woman," he grumped, "we've got plenty to worry about as it is with the baby coming."

Dori kissed her husband's cheek as Thorin scooped up Billie from her chair, "You worry too much old man." She said, "She's a good girl, I can tell."

"Hmmph," Balin said, unconvinced. Thorin carried Billie from the room, up the stairs and laid her in the guest bedroom he had previously been sleeping in. Then he left to go sleep on the couch downstairs.

Billie, of course knew none of this, all she knew was she was woken from a peaceful sleep the next morning by an exhausted looking Fili holding her squawking cell phone out to her.

"We found your phone between the seats when we were going for coffee." He explained, "Someone named Lizzie has called you 38 times."

Billie's stomach sank into the mattress. She had completely forgotten that Lizzie had been coming to get her! "Shit," she breathed, taking the phone from him and punching in her best friend's number.