A/N: BLARGH. ALL OF THIS GOODNESS AND PURITY I'VE BEEN READING/WRITING HAS GIVEN ME A STOMACHACHE. I am so happy to be returning to this story. Sigh. NOW I GET TO WRITE FOR ZEAL AGAIN, HOO-RAH!
So, I'm going to tell you guys a very, very, deep, dark secret of mine…
…At the end of this chapter. In return, I ask to reach 100 reviews! (Or more. That'd be awesome!)
If I've done my addition correctly, that's only 9 reviews I need from generous reviewers! It'll be the first time I've ever reached 100 reviews. Lame, huh?
But please, help me on my conquest. :D
If I reach 100 reviews before my designated update time, I'll update Rapacious even sooner. It'll be like, an achievement for you and me! A reward for such hard workers!
Disclaimer: I do not own FMA or FMA: Brotherhood. Nor do I own the lyrics to "Again". Yui owns that. If I owned any of those, well, I'm quite the greedy fellow, aren't I? I'm always asking for things.
Rapacious
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I want to be honest and reveal more…
I want to escape from something…
…Is it reality? |
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Chapter 10
Mutuality
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"So you're heading to Central for more information? Just what more of that do you need? You're making me feel inferior."
"How am I making you feel inferior?"
"Worthless. Useless. I'm an information broker and information's the thing you need. Why don't you just ask me what you're hungering for? I'm specialized in the Amestrian underworld, after all. Just pay me."
"That's exactly why. Besides, there are just some things even a smart ass like you wouldn't know."
"Oh, I'm the smart ass? You little runt…"
"Zeal, I know that's you, so shut up!"
…
Edward and Alphonse headed for Central Command. Catalena didn't dare show her face there for reasons only she could know. Winry headed to some "Hughes" family's house. Ling and his lackeys were nowhere to be found, although she might have caught a glimpse of a pair of officers dragging off a familiar-looking boy during one of her hours in Central.
That's right, she was touring Central. She'd never been there before, although Cain had sometimes had to transfer temporarily to Command. She couldn't say that she ever wanted to come either. The place was too big, and she couldn't keep a somewhat God-like eye on everything like she could in Dublith.
Zeal was also giving her a migraine. The homunculus was the opposite of her: amazed, surprised, and excited. Whenever they'd pass something interesting or eye-catching, Zeal would want to do something drastic or moronic like, "Ooh, let's rob a bank or something; that'd be fun" or "hey, let's try some pies".
Catalena was sick of it. And she was sick of Zeal.
Hm…your irritation nerve is tingling. Is the squinty-eyed brat within a 12-meter radius of you? If so, I'll kick his ass—
The woman chuckled, as she walked through the lively crowd. It was funny that Zeal thought she was annoyed with Ling, when it was actually she. Even when people gave Catalena disgusted looks it didn't refrain her from speaking to Zeal, "Oh, stop playing around. You don't hate Ling as much as you pretend to."
The hell you talking about, "pretending"? I hate his guts.
"For what reason?"
…I can't remember it now, but there is certainly a reason.
"Right…"
There is! Look, it's just…he always has his hands on you!
Catalena stopped on the side of the street, amazed and dumbfounded. What did Zeal just say? "…Repeat?"
He acts like you're his possession or something, like he has the right to take you to his country for his own benefits. It…it pisses me off to no end.
At first Catalena didn't find anything suspicious about Zeal's reasoning, but then a thought hit her. Smirking, the human teased the homunculus, "That sounds an awful lot like Greed, didn't you dislike him for that reason as well? Oh. You miss him so you're replacing your hatred for him with Ling, is that it?"
HELL NO. I am sick of homunculi! Remember what I said before what happened at Dublith? Forget that. Forget all of it. The only person I trust is you, Catalena.
Despite the fact that Zeal had just confessed her feelings for Catalena, the woman remained ignorant and teased her other side further, "…So…you were jealous. I didn't think Zeal could get possessive of me."
Possessive…I'm in your freaking body, Catalena. Or are you purposely setting me up for these comments of yours?
"I just want to see the side of you nobody else can."
And she said it so simply. Perhaps Catalena really was getting over her friends' deaths. That would be all thanks to Zeal; the supposed cause of those losses. The human could admit that if Zeal also disappeared…
…Well, she didn't know how she could continue on…
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"Is it just me, or does something feel weird about this place?" Lifting her head towards the orange sky, Catalena inquired the conscience inside of her. It was Central City that was gnawing at her insides. It felt like some sort of calling-to the homunculus inside of her.
Is that how you feel? It's strangely inviting to me.
"…Seriously. Something…doesn't feel…right," the human's gaze drifted to the ground, as if she could see through the blacktop beneath her dress shoes. There was something beneath them, beneath everyone in Central. It felt…overwhelming, too.
Maybe it's an earthquake. I wouldn't worry about it.
Catalena's expression went deadpan, "…You sure are arrogant. If it really were an earthquake, what insane, diabolical plan would you propose?"
The thing about zeal is excitement, adrenaline. When I find myself pushed to a corner, even I can't understand what homunculus-y powers I can achieve.
"Sounds like something someone from the east would write." (MANGAKA)
After her stereotypical assumption, Catalena's keen sense of obnoxiousness tingled. Her ears also picked up on a masculine voice, one that had yet to reach puberty. Her red eyes narrowed. There was only one person she knew who was obnoxious and…young.
As she turned to face Edward and the loud clang of armor racing behind the child, she noticed the grim and sorrowful feeling on his face. Her own dropped, and she attempted not to tease him.
"Edward. Why so glum?"
First the two young boys were quiet. It could have been because they were catching their breath, but…
"Something came up," as the blonde said this, he refused to meet Catalena's stagnant stare. After a few tantalizing moments, Edward faced the taller human again, "Come with us. There's someone I want you to meet."
Even if both Zeal and Catalena fed the Elrics confused looks, the boys proceeded without hearing any complaints. Before leaving with his brother, Alphonse shot as much of a sympathetic look as a boy trapped in armor ever could.
Which made Catalena and Zeal all the more curious.
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The time of day was at a point when the sun was almost gone completely: twilight. Catalena had taken notice of this scene before, though it was raining that dreadful day. But as she stood in front of this homey looking household, the human-based homunculus had a feeling there was a sunny side to this twilight.
Edward and Alphonse both knocked on the door, while Catalena stood by the stairwell. Door mechanics reached her ears, and she watched a shorthaired woman answer the door. There was a smile on her face as she greeted her visitors, "Edward, Alphonse. It's great to see you two again. Are you here for Winry?" Her words held not much meaning, and even Catalena could see the smile was pained.
From behind the boys the homunculus could not see the look that was given to the lady. That of which responded with wide, almost glassy eyes. Catalena knew that look. It was loss and defeat; hopelessness. Not too long ago, someone reminded her how poor a confident soul like her looked with that sort of expression.
"…So…you know already, then."
"Mrs. Hughes…"
"Gracia."
"I'm sorry…Miss Gracia," just faintly, Catalena could see Edward clench his fists and begin to shake, "…it's all my fault. If I wasn't so persistent and minded my own business like a kid should have, then Hughes wouldn't have—"
Catalena heard sobbing. Tears that were trying to be held back but failed. She knew that feeling, too. "Now, now, Edward, why are you making such a depressed face?" The brown-haired woman smiled at the two boys, gesturing for them to come in.
Catalena watched quietly from the staircase, remaining unseen.
"Why don't you come inside? It's warmer in here."
The two Elrics followed Miss Hughes inside, and as soon as the homunculus heard the door lock she made her way to the surface of it. Pressing her back against the door, she crossed her arms, at first hearing nothing but silence.
…
"Hughes died helping you. You can't just give up and blame yourself. That would mean my husband died in vain," a tone that was so full of determination and life; Catalena felt inspired by this woman.
Her husband's life was stolen away from him, and despite that the cause of it were sitting right in front of her, this woman would not fly into a rage. Instead, she urged for these boys to strive for more.
Catalena waited patiently on the outside of the door, just listening to the conversation. She wondered why Edward would bring her here before, but now she may have just realized.
He wanted her to see that her troubles weren't everything.
Even Zeal fell quiet. Perhaps the homunculus truly did have a heart. That or she was just sleeping. Catalena presumed the last possibility.
Near her ears, the door unlocked, and Catalena pushed herself off of the door. There was a little girl standing there, holding the door against her body very timidly. Her hair was up in pigtails, and she was watching Catalena with two, large bright blue eyes.
The older female's face of surprise and confusion was the result of her inexperience with children.
Catalena didn't need to do anything, though. The girl just said in her squeaky voice,
"…Not daddy. It's just a man, mommy."
Zeal started laughing within the consciousness of both their minds, and the human side of the two only displayed an offended grimace. She couldn't hit a kid, right? That'd be wrong. She couldn't even yell at her, much less troll.
Hastily the woman referred to as 'mommy' came bursting towards the door at the mention of a strange man estranged on their doorstep. But what Gracia saw was not a man, but a shorthaired woman with red eyes. A smile spread on her pale face, "Oh, I'm sorry. My daughter is a fan of long hair…"
Catalena couldn't smile. It was too awkward for her. From behind the form of the Hughes she saw Edward and Alphonse and silently pleaded for help. They didn't notice her right away, "…It's fine. I'm usually complimented for my appearance." There was a crook in the homunculus' smile.
Then Edward came over, "Cat. Did you hear all of that?"
Her red eyes focused on the shorter figure, "…Yeah. Is that why you brought me here?"
There was a subtle nod, and then Edward rested his hands on the shoulders of that small child, Elicia.
"This is who I wanted you to meet. Her name is Elicia Hughes," Edward's mouth remained opened, like he was going to say more, but he stopped, "…I think you need to talk to her."
Catalena was astonished, like she didn't want anything to do with the girl. That was the truth, but then two, sparkly blue eyes were watching her. The owner of those eyes also surprised Catalena. It wasn't the little girl, Elicia.
It was Winry.
After the few days she'd spent with Miss Rockbell, she seemed like a girl who wouldn't let anything get her down. She had admirable willpower and determination for a normal human. Catalena actually liked that in her.
To see her crumble like this, all because of the death of someone who wasn't even actual family to her. Catalena could now see the relationships between humans; that of which did not have to involve blood or love.
The human-based homunculus sighed, gazing down at Elicia, who was just as dumbfounded as she was, "…All right…"
…
"…"
The girl was quiet as they sat in her room alone. She had two figures in her hand, a man and a woman. There was also a smaller doll between the two on the floor in front of her, that of which resembled a small girl.
Catalena blinked. Their daughter.
Elicia did not speak to Catalena, and she did the same. It was awkward, and she did not know how Elicia felt, but now she began to wonder what Edward wanted to benefit between the two of them.
At this point, she really wished Zeal wasn't sleeping. Zeal was offensive, but she was much more social than Catalena would ever be.
The fact remained that if she didn't do anything, she'd be spending the night there due to Edward's stubbornness.
"…Um…You're Elicia, right?"
"Uh-huh," the girl rang as she played with the dolls. Judging from the sound of her voice, she didn't sound bothered by the older woman's presence. Catalena smiled. What a sweet girl. "…What's your name?"
"Catalena," she finished, not bothering to give the child her last name.
Upon hearing the homunculus' name, Elicia looked up from her toys. She had a look of awe before grinning wide, "Catalena! That sounds like a girl's name."
The older woman glanced down at her chest before nervously reassuring the girl, "Ha, well I am a girl…"
She didn't have a problem with her figure. Did Elicia not know the differences between genders? Should she tell her? God, she wasn't good with kids.
"It sounds something like a cat. Like a kitten! Meow!" She giggled and curled her tiny hands by her head like when a cat was doing that nasty thing with their tongue and paws.
And yet, the older woman found herself laughing along with the child, "Haha, 'kitten' you said?"
Elicia now had found a tiny plastic cat from the toy box beside her, lifting it up for Catalena to see, "See? Kitty cat!"
Her soft laughter died out, and she stared at the toy with curiosity. Elicia allowed her to hold the toy, and it dropped in her palm. It was an orange tabby cat, and an adult to boot.
"Um, Elicia, you don't have any toy kittens for the mommy?" She blinked, contemplating, "…Or is this a boy cat?"
The little human took a glance at her aluminum box, giving it a shake before informing Catalena, "…Hm, nope, it' a girl cat, just like you! I lost the daddy cat and the kittens." Despite admitting her loss, she giggled, certainly having fun with the extra company.
Catalena laughed humorlessly. She laughed so that the child could laugh, too. As she stared at the plastic toy cat in her pale hands, she began to understand why Edward wanted her to talk to the girl.
Lowering her hand, she watched Elicia play with the mommy, the daddy, and the girl dolls again. After hearing the entire ordeal about the Hughes family from behind the apartment door, Catalena couldn't help but stare at the father figure Elicia held tightly in her hands.
Cautiously, Catalena inquired, "…Did you try to find the daddy cat?"
"…Well I…I did, but…I gave up after I tried so hard."
"…Gave up? You shouldn't do that."
Elicia pursed her lips and puffed out her cheek. Frustration was eminent on her baby face, "But I can't find them!"
Catalena, despite being yelled at, displayed a patient look on her own face, "…That doesn't mean you should give up. If you give up on finding them, how do you expect to ever play with them again?"
"…But it's hard…"
"If your daddy gave up on his work, how would he be able to take care of you and your mommy? He has to do it, because nobody else can. He did it because he loves you."
"…"
Holding the toy tightly in her hands, Catalena noticed Elicia start to get red. She must be missing her father. Instead of becoming flustered because she made the girl cry, Catalena came over, wrapping her arms around the child. The whimpering immediately subsided, and she felt tiny hands grasp her larger arms.
Smiling as she spoke, Catalena peered out of the corner of her eyes at the girl who buried her head into her shoulder,
"A boy who lost his mother once told me something, after I asked him a very serious question."
"…W-what did you ask?"
"…I asked him, how can someone who's given up on life continue on living?"
"…"
"You're too young to understand a part of that question, but he looked at me with this face…and he replied..."
"…"
"You don't."
[1]
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Edward, Alphonse, and Winry were standing outside the Hughes' apartment door. They all had their bags, so as Catalena walked out of Elicia's room, she realized they wouldn't be staying there. It was dark; if they were going to get a hotel room, they'd have to get on the move.
"I'm sorry if I kept you guys waiting. Elicia wanted to play with…toys," the older woman nervously stated, feeling a little awkward admitting that.
Edward, who seemed to like screwing with her, tried his best to grin, "That's okay. Hopefully you learned something. Maybe she taught you how to play nice for once."
"That's you-know-who's job."
The two rivals glared at each other, deadly and playfully.
Miss Gracia stood by the doorway, looking as sophisticated and calm as ever, "I'm sorry Elicia isn't here to say goodbye. She's holed herself up in her room."
Alphonse finally spoke up for once tonight, "That's okay. Just tell her we said good-bye."
"Take care, Miss Gracia," Winry spoke up. When Catalena glanced at the blonde girl, she had a sense of dejection about her.
"Goodbye Winry, Edward, Alphonse…oh…" the woman stopped at Catalena, as if she struggled to remember her name, "…and you're—"
"Kitten! Kitten! Where are yoooouuuu!"
A strange sensation over her body caused Catalena to instantly jerk at the familiar name, but her hopes died out once she saw a little girl gasping at the doorway beside her mother.
"Kitten…? Is that your name, miss?" Gracia had softly asked.
The homunculus crouched before Elicia, replying to her mother, "I'm sorry, Miss Hughes; it's Catalena Artenie," she then looked at Elicia again, "What is it, Elicia?"
With an accomplished smirk, the girl thrust her hand out in front of her. Catalena's eyes popped once they noticed two plastic cat toys settled in the middle of her tiny palm.
Her heart skipped a beat, but the words found their way through her lips, "…Is that the daddy cat?"
She giggled out loud and nodded, "Yep! You told me not to give up, so I tried again and found him! It was in my sock drawer."
Catalena tilted her head to the side, feeling slightly embarrassed but thankful. She smiled, "…Well, now you can play with it."
"Nope! You can play with it," without warning, Elicia dropped the boy cat into her hand.
"Eh?"
"Now every time you look at that cat, you can stop feeling lonely and remember when you played with me today. Oh, and when you lose something, you'll remember to check your sock drawer!"
Catalena stared at the honest girl, but then sighed, giving up. Her smile contorted into a frown, though, "Okay…but why do I get the boy cat?"
"Because you're old and you need to marry someone! Just like mommy did!"
Catalena made a sound of offense and shock, just as Edward, Alphonse, and even Winry—despite their depressed dispositions—stifled laughter and chuckles.
Gracia at this point took command of her child, and apologized, "I'm sorry if she was any trouble."
"It was no problem."
"Alright. Thank you, Miss Artenie," Gracia tilted her head over the other woman, looking at the three teenagers in the background, "You three, watch out for each other."
"We will," they had said something similar to this in unison.
"Bye Ed! Bye Al! Bye Winry and Cat!" The enthusiastic waves of Elicia came into song with her mother's before the two closed the door behind them. The remaining four stepped out of the building and began walking in the dark along the streets of Central.
"…So…what was all of that about 'giving up'?" Edward sneered from beside Catalena.
Trying to hide the blush on her face, Catalena retorted, "You should take lessons from her, judging from the way you were crying."
"…"
"It's a serious thing, I know. Don't take it as offensive. We've all lost people we cared about."
Edward looked away from her, the scowl on his face disappearing, "…Yeah. Okay."
"It looks like you taught Cat a lesson today, brother."
"Ha, oh, yeah, I did! Next time you should be more appreciative."
"I am. But maybe you should start comforting Winry instead of me. You do care about her, right?" The homunculus took note of the red on Edward's face, and when she glanced behind her, she faintly caught a trace of a rosy complexion on the other female's face as well.
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What a cool hotel room. Did you rent it with your own money, or did the two Elric brats offer it for you?
Seated on the comforter of the freshly scented bed, Catalena folded her legs against her chest, looking out the window. She had the lights off, so the only light being emanated was from the few stars that scattered across the dark sky.
"They offered for me to stay with Winry, but I've had enough of awkwardness for today."
…Oh, yes, so I've heard. You might have thought I was sleeping, but I've told you before; homunculi don't sleep.
"They don't eat either, and yet when we were walking around Central you wanted a taste of everything tangible."
Hey, I've done you a favor today and was silent for at least 12 hours. Can't you stop attacking me with words?
"Am I hurting you, homunculus? With my words?"
Not really. I'm actually just entertaining you until the time comes when I take over your body again. This time, without the drama and annoying emotions.
Catalena felt her blood rise, "…Take over my body again? When? What do you mean?"
Did you think I relinquished control willingly? My Philosopher's Stone needed a rest. Wrath did a lot of shit to me back there. I was just healing…in fact, now is the greatest time to slip back into control. You're not depressed anymore.
"How about back when we met Ling again? You took over for a while…does that mean you could have done it whenever you want?"
Cat, I've been fully capable of taking you over since we got to Rush Valley. It's just that…I wanted to find the perfect time. That's all.
Catalena listened to the metallic, ghost-like voice inside of her. Sharing an entity and a subconscious, she tried to guess what feelings Zeal was undergoing.
"…You remember before everyone died at Dublith…when you were on the rooftop and you confessed to me what you thought of Greed…and your goals."
…Don't remind me.
"…You said you wanted to find the homunculi…then after you fought Wrath, you decided you hated them. Does this mean you're not sure what you want to do anymore?"
…
"I thought you had a plan for everything, Zeal. Either that, or you're just being stubborn and introverted."
…I'm really jealous of you, Catalena. You weren't created without a purpose.
The human laughed, listening to the sounds of crickets on the outside of her window.
"…Is that what you think of me?"
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[1] – At the end of chapter 8, I ended it with Catalena asking Alphonse one more question. That was the question.
So…I love penguins. I just saw one waddle. So. Cute.
And no, that's not my deepest, darkest secret.
I'm an open person, so you can assume my secrets aren't very deep or dark judging from the average drama queen.
Anyway, my secret is I have this unhealthy obsession with toothpaste.
Really.
Toothpaste is so good. Yeah, you think I'm weird, now. NO, I don't EAT the toothpaste! I'm just really picky when it comes to my toothpaste and I will complain if it's not good! I also put a lot of that stuff on my toothbrush, and I'm very conservative with it as well. My friend Celeste likes it too, so I'm not the only one who likes the burst of minty flavor…
And mouthwash.
I've shared with you my secret~ Now will you help me reach 100 reviews?
By the way, hope you loved the chapter! It was short but, I'm offering to update again as soon as I finally reach 100 reviews. Also, THANK YOU NEW REVIEWERS! I WELCOME MORE OF YOU. BY THE MOTHERLOAD.
Je t'aime.
OH AND HEY I HAVE AN IMPORTANT QUESTION FOR YOU GUYS.
It may or may not affect the story but,
Who do you like in control better? Zeal or Catalena?
Please give me your honest input!
