"Please follow me," the hostess said, herding them into the restaurants depths.
"Steak," Kili sang under his breath, "glooorious steeeaaaaak!"
"Will you cut it out!" Fili elbowed him in the ribs.
"You two have gotten so tall!" Iradessa exclaimed once they were all seated, "I can't believe you've grown so much in just a year."
"Yes, human males can continue to grow well into what we perceive to be adulthood." Kili stated, "in fact the brain doesn't stop developing until about twenty-five." Iradessa blinked at him.
"Thank you Kili that's fascinating," Thorin sighed.
"Oh, you are quite welcome dear uncle." Kili grinned from ear to ear and helped himself to a roll. Billie stifled the urge to laugh. Unfortunately, Iradessa heard her and turned her questions her way.
"So Bitzy are you planning on working for the hospital past this summer?"
"It's Billie," Billie said, taking a sip of her water. Iradessa simpered.
"I'm sorry, I knew it was something unusual like that. Is Billie short for something?"
"No, just Billie. My mom is Shawn and my grandma is Andie, it's kind of a family thing. Name the girls with male names. My great-grandma was Bobbie."
Thorin's girlfriend must have had a script going in her head, because Billie could practically predict her next move, the script said, insert insincere smile here aaaaaand presto. Iradessa smiled insincerely.
"Well, bless your heart isn't that the cutest tradition."
Billie smiled back just as insincerely, "Thanks we think so."
"Are you planning to stay on staff Billie?" Thorin asked, "Because you could, you know, they love you up front."
Billie felt her cheeks flush, "Yes, I was." Thorin looked pleased. Iradessa frowned over the top of her menu.
"Hello, my name is Jim and I'll be your waiter this evening," their server interrupted. He was a nervous looking kid with a small red stain on the front of his white shirt. Billie suspected it might be his first solo day on the job.
"May I start you off with some drinks?" Jim continued.
"Could you tell us what wines you have on special please?" Kili asked, resting his chin on his fist.
"Well Sir we have-
"He's only 18," Thorin interrupted, "He's just messing with you." poor Jim looked flustered.
"Oh." His Adams apple started bobbing up and down.
"I would like a glass of merlot," Iradessa said. Billie glanced down at her menu, yikes, she couldn't afford anything here, especially not the merlot.
"I'm fine with water, thank you," she said, when Jim glanced her way.
"It's my treat Billie," Thorin was seated next to her, enabling him to whisper this without the others hearing. "Order whatever you want."
"Everything's really expensive." She whispered back, the corner of his mouth twitched up.
"I'm good for it." He turned his head and smiled at her fully, her stomach did a couple of somersaults. Jim having already taken everyone else's order was scurrying away, so instead of asking if this restaurant stocked large bottles of vodka and if she could have one, she just smiled back.
"Thank you," she whispered.
"Have you boys applied to any colleges?" Iradessa asked.
"Not yet but I have several in mind," Fili said, smiling politely.
"I believe I am what they refer to as, 'community college bound'," Kili said happily. He was attempting to get his two forks to balance on top of each other.
"Kili you have to at least apply to some schools to know if they won't take you." Thorin sighed.
"He will," Fili said, glaring at his twin.
"No, he won't," Kili sang, almost but not quite under his breath.
"Did you attend college Billie?" Iradessa looked at her expectantly, she knew the answer, she just wanted her to say it out loud.
"No, I was a nanny for a while after high school." Insert another insincere smile, not even a smile, a smirk.
"Well, that's alright. Higher education isn't for everyone." Jim had arrived with the drinks, Iradessa took a self-satisfied sip of her merlot.
"What is it you do again?" Billie asked, trying not to let the rude leak through in her question. She succeeded but just barely.
"She runs her own interior decorating company," Thorin laid a hand over Iradessa's smiling fondly into her too made up face. "She's going to help redesign the inside when we get the house fixed up."
"How nice," Billie motioned to Jim to hold a moment and then asked for a glass of white wine, she could no longer stand this conversation completely sober.
As the meal progressed, Billie had to fight down the urge that kept arising to strangle Thorin's special lady friend. Ms. Business Owner had all the upper hand and she knew it. Billie wished they could just go rumble in the parking lot, but that wasn't the way this class of bitch fought. It was a snide comment there and an insult here. All cleverly veiled to make her seem only concerned, or simply curious.
"Where do you get your hair done dear? I've never seen such an uncommon style on a woman your age before."
"Your grandparents moved to that neighborhood in Florida? Why not this other neighborhood? Oh, they couldn't afford that, well I'm sure the first one is nice too. You don't need a large house or a golf course to have a decent retirement."
"My you eat a lot for such a little person. You better be careful, I bet that's already catching up to you and you don't even realize it."
Thorin and the twins clearly had no idea anything was going on. Thorin just kept smiling obliviously, so convinced his idea was working, and Fili was busy wrangling Kili. To placate herself Billie downed several glasses of wine, more than she should have actually. She had always been a lightweight and by the time they stood up to leave she had trouble not staggering. She excused herself to go to the restroom so she could wash her face hoping it would help sober her up.
She had finished drying off and was reapplying her lip gloss when the door swung open and Iradessa walked in.
"Hi-." Billie started.
"Oh shut up!" Iradessa crossed her arms, glaring ferociously at her, "If I have to play nice with you for one more second I'm going to blow my brains out. I'm here because I want to get everything out in the open."
"Okay," Billie stood up a little straighter so as not to appear any smaller than she was. She didn't want this c-word to think she was cowed by her.
"I don't like you." Ms. Coach Purse said, "I wouldn't like you even if you weren't living with Thorin, people like you bring me coffee and teach Thorin and I's future children piano."
"Excuse me?"
"Oh, I'm sorry was that too metaphorical for you to understand. You are beneath us honey bunches. Beneath me and defiantly beneath him, he is the heir to the Durin fortune. The only time he should interact with people like you is when he tells you which rooms in his house you need to clean that week."
"Okay, look," Billie took a step towards the older woman, "I don't know what your problem is -."
"My problem is you are going all moony-eyed over my boyfriend." Iradessa closed the gap between them, she was so close Billie could feel her breath on her cheeks, it smelled like sour grapes. "Don't think I don't see the way you look at him. I know what you're planning and I'm here to tell you that it isn't going to work."
"I'm not planning anything -."
"Not planning to marry him and become richer than Batman? Because, news flash he is never going to want an ugly little nobody like you!"
Billie took a deep breath, Fili and Kili were right, this chick was crazy! She tried to go around her, just end the conversation by walking away but Iradessa blocked her path.
"Where do you think you're going?"
"Away from you." Billie said, moving to the left, Iradessa blocked her again, "I didn't know anything about Thorin's money but I can assure you marrying him hadn't crossed my mind. I'm sorry if me living with him causes you discomfort but Thorin seems to be happy with our arrangement and I don't plan on changing it. Now let me by!" Instead of complying Iradessa put both hands on Billie's shoulders and shoved her up against one of the sinks, drops of water spattered against the backs of her arms.
"Not until we get something straight." She hissed, "If you say anything to Thorin about this or any other discussions we might have I will make your life a living hell. You wouldn't believe the power I have and you do not want to mess with me. Secondly, I want you out. I want you to go back to the clapboard apartment that you belong in and I'm going to do whatever I can think of to get you there." She let go and Billie had to clench her fists to keep from slapping the smug look right off her face.
"Noted," she said between gritted teeth. Then before she could do something she would undoubtedly get sued for, like rip Iradessa's fake blonde hair out from the roots she quick marched outside where Thorin and the boys were waiting.
(…And Then)
"That was so high school!" Lizzy exclaimed, it was the next day and Billie had called her on her ten-minute break. She was pacing around the back of the hospital, talking about the scene last night had fueled up her anger making it hard to sit still.
"I know! What the hell right? I thought we left the 'bitch he's mine' fights back in the days of volleyball practice."
"Neither of us were on the volleyball team?" Lizzy said, confused. Billie rolled her eyes even though Lizzy couldn't see her.
"You know what I mean."
"I guess, so are you going to say something to Dr. Oakenshield?" Billie sighed, leaning against the hospital's sun-warmed brick wall.
"I kind of already did." She said, remembering how that conversation had gone caused her to sink to the pavement, sitting in a very unladylike manner. What did it matter? No one was back here anyways.
"You did? When? What did he say?"
"It wasn't good Liz." Billie tilted her face up to the sun, closing her eyes. After they had gotten back to Balin's and Dori's Thorin had pulled Billie into the back garden. He was clearly ecstatic.
"That went great don't you think?" he asked, sinking into one of the wrought iron chairs under the veranda. Billie stayed by the door, the wine was making her sleepy and the four feet to the other chair seemed like a long way to walk. She leaned against the doorjamb.
"The boys were really opening up to her towards the end and she seemed to really like you!" The heir to the Durin fortune continued. Was he really an heir to millions, Billie wondered? Were all heirs' idiots or was it just him?
"Are you on crack?" she asked, the wine making her tactless, "that went terribly!"
The happy look melted right off Thorin's face, he looked like a puppy being denied treats, "What do you mean?"
"Kili was a sarcastic ass the whole time," Billie began, ticking off points on her fingers, "Fili was trying to be polite and force Kili to do the same, but trust me he doesn't like her either and Iradessa hates my guts!"
Thorin narrowed his fantastic eyebrows, "how can you know that?"
"Because she told me!" Billie blurted out, "She thinks I'm beneath her and she really doesn't like the fact that I live in the same house as you. She seems to think I'm trying to encroach on her territory!" She peeled herself away from the wall and almost pitched forward. Thorin reached out and caught her at the last second. "She thinks I want to marry you and be richer than Batman." She said into his shirt.
"What?" Thorin held her out at arms length, he shook his head, "No, you must have misunderstood her, that doesn't sound like Iradessa at all."
"Well maybe you don't know the real Iradessa," Billie pushed his hands off her shoulders and glared up at him, "Because that is what she said, and if you ask my opinion she's a bitch who is after your money."
"Hey!" Thorin's voice went from confused to sharp in 0.3 seconds, "Don't you talk about her like that!"
Billie cringed remembering what she had done next, "She's the Wicked Bitch of the West!" she'd shouted, "Everybody else can see it why can't you?!"
"You're drunk!" Thorin roared, "Go to bed! I'm through having this conversation with you!"
"Fine!" Billie yelled back, stumbling into the house, "Goodnight you complete DumDum!" She tripped over the rug and crashed onto her knees, she tried to get up with dignity but just sort of floundered around for a minute before she managed to crawl up using the wall and then limp away up the stairs.
Kili and Fili had been waiting for her at the top, they pulled her into her room and shut the door. They all listened as Thorin stomped into his room.
"Will you all please shut up!" Balin screamed.
"Yes, sorry!" Billie and Thorin shouted back in unison. Before either of the twins could stop her, Billie pulled open her door to glare at him.
"Go to bed!" Thorin whisper shouted.
"I was!" Billie whispered angrily back. They glared at each other for a couple more seconds and then shut their doors within seconds of each other. Billie collapsed backwards onto her bed with an exasperated, "Argh!"
"Just let it run its course Kili." Kili mocked, sitting down next to her, "Why don't you try talking to him….I told you we should have poisoned her."
"Oh shut up Kee," Billie fought back tears, "Please just shut up." Seeing her distress Fili grabbed his brother by the collar and pulled him towards the door.
"We'll talk about it in the morning," he said, "Goodnight Baggins." They left, shutting off the light behind them. Billie had fallen asleep struggling not to cry.
"Oh Billie-love," Lizzy cooed, "I'm so sorry." Billie scrubbed at her eyes with the back of her hands.
"You think he's going to kick me out? I don't have enough saved up yet for the first month of rent anywhere!"
"No, I don't think he'd do that! Just go talk to him!"
Billie shuddered, "I ran out of the house this morning, I didn't want to see him at breakfast. I'm so embarrassed Liz."
"Why? You only told the truth."
"But I shouldn't have told it like that. I shouldn't have said anything if he didn't ask, this is none of my business."
"Oh pish," Billie knew Lizzy well enough to know that she was making dismissing hand gestures, "I think he made it your business when he asked your advice." Billie's phone beeped its alarm, she was due back inside in two minutes.
"Lizzy I've got to go, I'll call you later okay?"
"Let me know how it goes?"
"I will, love you."
"Love you too."
Billie walked back into the air conditioning and took her seat, trying to focus on the tasks before her, but it was no good. She stood up and consulted the chart on the wall behind her. Thorin should be making his rounds soon, maybe she could catch him between patients. She told Neal she was going to the bathroom and set off.
He wasn't in maternity, or the ICU, he wasn't with the old people or the children, nor was he in any of the break rooms she checked. Finally, she gave up and went back to her desk, defeated.
Her shift ended and she changed into construction clothes and drove over to the house. Thorin's truck wasn't in the driveway and the boys were nowhere in sight. That was weird, but Billie was actually glad to postpone their encounter a little longer. She went inside and started laying boards for the new kitchen floor.
One corner was giving her trouble. It was a funny angle and there was a little hidden part of it that was proving really hard to measure. She rolled onto her stomach and pushed herself under the cabinet blocking her view scrambling for the back wall. Her fingers brushed against something, it was cold and felt like…. metal? Curious she drew it out.
A ring of gold sat in her palm, clearly a wedding ring and a man's one at that. Nothing broke its smoothness, a simple circle of yellow without decoration of any kind but it was beautiful all the same. Billie slipped it on her finger experimentally, tires crunched in the gravel outside. She put the ring in her pocket and stood with a sigh. Time to go face the music.
