Authors Note: Hey guys, sorry I'm a moron I forgot to add that paragraph at the end when I posted last night. Soooo, yeah….whoops.
It wasn't Thorin. It was Fili and Kili driving his truck. Billie sat down on the front steps with relief, maybe she could conveniently put this conversation off for….forever.
"There she is, the Hypocrite Baggins," Kili said, like he was a host on a nature show. "See how she relaxes in her natural habitat? When she's not busy doing things she has begged others not to do, the Baggins likes to cover herself in sawdust and drink root beer!" He grinned to show he was only teasing and handed her a bottle of the glorious brew from the pizza place Thorin had taken her to. The Durin boys were also frequent patrons.
"The Hypocrite also likes to wonder where the patriarch of their little tribe might be?" Billie said, twisting the cap off her bottle. "She owes him an apology for screaming in his face." Fili shook his head violently.
"No, no don't apologize." He begged, "You might be the only person who can get through to Uncle Thorin right now. He won't listen to us; he won't listen to Balin. If Mom was still here he might have listened to her."
Kili held up a finger, "Negative, he wouldn't listen last time until she got sick. Then he just didn't want to upset her and then the Arkenstone broke up with him so the point was moot." Fili nodded.
"He's right, you might be the only person ever to get him to think twice about Iradessa."
Billie laughed, "I don't think I've got him to think twice about her at all."
Fili raised an eyebrow, "Oh no? Then why is he with Uncle Bombor right now pouring out his woman troubles over lunch?"
"He's what?"
"He sent us away when your name came up," Kili said, sighing, "so we were forced to sneak the backway into the kitchen and listen."
"For once I agreed with this less than honorable venture," Fili said solemnly, "I hate that woman. In the words of that one guy at our old school. That girl is trouble, she gots to go." He wagged his head in a sassy imitation. Billie giggled.
"And what should we overhear on this less than honorable venture?" Kili continued dramatically, "But our Uncle Thorin asking his good friend Bombor if he thought you were right about his beloved Iradessa?"
"He did?" Billie was shocked, she had no idea Thorin took her opinions so seriously.
"He did," Kili nodded, then turned to glare at his brother, "And then Mr. I-will-never-be-a-spy-because-I-am-a-clumsy-idiot here knocked over an open sack of potatoes and we were forced to flee. So we never did learn what Uncle Bombor said."
"It was my first rule breaking," Fili whined, "Do I not get any slack?" Kili grinned and punched him in the shoulder, Fili wrapped an arm around his neck and gave him a noogie, Kili pulled away laughing. Billie took a sip of her root beer and smiled, it was hard to feel apprehensive and gloomy with these two around.
(…And then)
"I think that about does it," Kili stood back and surveyed their handy work. The kitchen floor was finished, the pale boards looking strange alongside the darker wood of the rest of the room. Billie grabbed the notebook documenting what needed working on and checked off the floor in the kitchen.
"So that just leaves us with the dining room and the master bathroom, at least as far as floors go. Was the master bedroom okay or did that one need redoing too?"
"I'm not sure," Kili admitted.
"Fee!" Billie called to Fili, "Did the master bedroom's floor need redoing?" Fili didn't answer, she wandered into the foyer. "Fili?" Still no answer, but from outside tires once again sounded on the gravel driveway. Thorin! Bombor must be dropping him off, the twins had said he was going to. Billie felt her anxiousness from earlier return ten-fold. She needed a minute or five, just to collect herself and possibly practice what she was going to say. She ran up the newly redone staircase.
The upstairs hall was all white new wood, it glowed in the construction lights hanging from the ceiling, but the master bedroom was dark. Billie grabbed one of the lights and stepped across the threshold. Downstairs she could hear Thorin talking to the others, it sounded like Bombor was still with him. "Please don't let him come up here," she prayed.
"Stop it Billie!" she chided herself, "Lizzy and the boys are right you only told the truth. Just apologize for the screaming part and everything should be good…. Hopefully." The floorboards beneath her creaked and she focused on the task at hand, looking for weak spots in the wood. Heavy footfalls sounded on the stairs.
"Billie?" Thorin appeared in the doorway, a black silhouette against the brightly lit hall, Billie swallowed nervously.
"What are you doing in here?" Thorin asked, Billie couldn't answer, she was too embarrassed, she couldn't even look at him anymore, she dropped her gaze to the creaking floorboards.
"You're not hiding from me, are you?" Billie could see his shoes as he came towards her, she forced herself to look up.
"Maybe a little," she admitted, Thorin laughed softly.
"It's not like I'm going to strike you down," he said.
Billie sighed, "I'm sorry I yelled at you," she said, looking back at her feet, "I was out of line."
"Maybe I deserved it?" Billie glanced up sharply.
"Oh no, Thorin! You've been so good to me and I screamed in your face, I'm sorry." Thorin took both of her hands in his and gave them a squeeze, Billie suddenly had a very hard time breathing.
"Apology accepted," he said, "Now, come on," he dropped one of her hands and using the other one started to tow her towards the door, "Bombor says he's making us chicken-fried-steak for din- CRACK! With a sound like an indoor thunderclap the wood beneath the doctor's feet disintegrated and down he went. Billie still holding his hand was pulled down with him, before her mind had time to process what had happened she found herself halfway through a hole in the floor, Thorin dangling at the end of her arm like a worm on a hook.
"THORIN! BILLIE!" Fili's frightened face appeared below them, they must be over the living room, well that was good to know.
"We're alright," Thorin grunted, Billie felt herself sliding forwards and dug her toes into the creaking floorboards. Footsteps sounded in the hallway.
"Hang on Billie!" Kili's voice said, "We'll save you!"
"Kili-lad," Bombor was blowing like an old toad with the effort of running up the stairs, "Go-(pant)-go downstairs and get your uncle that way, I'll get Ms. Billie."
"Right!" Kili's feet took off and a minute later he joined Fili underneath them. Thorin's weight was wrenching her fingers from their sockets, her arm shook with the effort of holding him. Billie swung down her other arm and Thorin reached up to her both of them grasping each other's forearms.
"Hurry up guys," Billie groaned. Fili and Kili raised their arms above their heads and were able to get a good hold on Thorin's shins.
"We got him!" Fili grunted, Billie let Thorin slide downward and with the boys help he was soon standing solidly on the living room floor.
"Billie," Bombor said. Billie raised herself out of the hole with a grunt and saw Bombor had stretched his enormous frame out from the hall and was reaching out for her with both hands. With effort she was able to grab his wrists and he pulled her over the gap in the floor to safety.
"Oh my God," the fat cook gasped, "Let's never do that again." The Durin's shook the hall as they rushed towards them.
"Billie!" Fili got there first, pulling her to her feet, "Are you okay?"
"Give her some room," Thorin demanded, shoving his nephew out of the way, he patted down her arms, "You're not hurt are you?"
"I'm fine," Billie pulled back to regain some space. She was trembling, she didn't want him to know how badly. "You're the one who went through the floor," she reminded him, "are you okay?"
"I don't understand how that happened," Thorin turned and started down the hall, everybody followed, Billie more slowly than the rest, "I checked that floor myself not three days ago and it was fine."
"It looked to me like a few of the support beams snapped," Fili said. Thorin led them to the living room, where he started rooting through the rubble, Billie stood underneath the hole eleven feet above them and shivered. The ceiling was an old fashioned wooden kind, planks laid over support beams also served as the master bedroom's floor.
"Thorin," Bombor held up pieces of the busted through beams for inspection, "look." They all crowded around him. The beams bore saw marks.
"Someone cut through these on purpose," Fili said, tracing the mark with his finger.
"Why would someone do that?" Billie's trembling got worse, seeing this Kili put a hand on her shoulder, she smiled at him gratefully.
"I don't know how they even got in here, to do it," Thorin said, "we lock this place up when we leave." He met everyone's eyes, but all they could do was look back at him in confusion.
It made no sense.
(…And then)
"Billie?" Thorin knocked on her door. They were back at Balin and Dori's house and Billie had stolen away to her room to change clothes while everyone else relieved the days adventures for the 20th time.
She finished pulling her tank top over her head, "Come in."
"Hey, dinner is ready," Thorin poked his head in and frowned at her bare arms. "What happened?"
"Huh?" Billie glanced down, her arms where covered in bruises, especially her right wrist which was red and slightly swollen, she hadn't really noticed it before, but now it was starting to throb. "Oh."
"Is that from today?" Thorin came all the way into the room and gently lifted her wrist up.
"I guess so," Billie winced as he probed it with his fingers, "I didn't really notice it 'til now."
"We need to put an icepack on this," Thorin said, he traced his fingers over her other bruises, "I think you sprained it."
Billie laughed, "You mean you sprained it, monkey man." She teased. "I wasn't hanging from it like it was a vine." Thorin's hands moved around her waist, pulling her closer.
"Did I thank you for saving my life?" He asked. Billie's heart fluttered in her ribcage like a bird, he smelled like chicken-fried-steak and mashed potatoes. She had never thought of that scent as sexy but it was right then…weird.
"That was just dumb luck," somehow words were coming out of her mouth in a normal fashion. She didn't know how as her lips were numb and her ears were buzzing, "Not like how you are constantly saving mine."
"I like having you around," Thorin admitted, "Life was so boring before you came along." Then he was lowering his mouth towards hers and Billie stopped breathing completely. She hadn't been kissed in a long while it was true, but she had never been kissed like this.
Electricity raced up her spine making her knees go weak, she braced her hands against his chest, curling them into the flannel of his construction shirt. His slid up her back to cup the back of her head, weaving his fingers into her curls. Billie shivered, pressing herself against him, he too took a step to close the distance and they wound up tripping, toppling onto the bed.
Thorin laughed and Billie felt it reverberate through her chest.
"Uncle Thorin! Billie!" Kili shouted up the stairs, "Come on! Dinner is ready!" Billie was in no hurry, but suddenly Thorin seemed to realize what he had started, what they were doing. He was kissing someone who wasn't his girlfriend and that was horribly against the Thorin Oakenshield code of ethics, he sprang upright.
"Shit," he mumbled turning bright pink, "Oh shit!"
"What's wrong?" Billie asked, sitting up, "Did I suck? I've never actually known if I'm a good kisser or not -."
"No, it's not- I've been wanting to do that for a while now." Thorin explained in a rush, running his fingers through his hair in a manner that made Billie want to jump on him and kiss him some more.
"What then?" she asked, grabbing his hand and pulling him back down on the bed.
"I wasn't supposed to have a girlfriend when I did," Thorin said, the blush receded slightly from his cheeks as he traced the bones of her un-sprained wrist with his thumb.
"So fix that, Dummy," Billie told him. She climbed to her knees and kissed his cheek, then his other one. A few seconds later she was in his lap holding his face in both of her hands. The sprained one throbbed at her but, she told it to shut up, she was in the middle of something.
That something being kissing Thorin Oakenshield senseless.
"Hey are you two coming or can we start without you?" Kili asked from the stairwell making them both jump.
"Sorry Kee, we're coming," Billie said, pressing her forehead against Thorin's.
Through the still closed door Billie heard him mumble, "About time," as he trooped down to the kitchen.
"I'll go call her," Thorin said, as they stood up. Billie shook her head.
"Breaking up is a face to face thing," she said, "you can break up with her tomorrow." Thorin pulled her against him again.
"I'm not sure I can wait that long." Billie laughed, shoving him away.
"Well I can," she said, opening the door and ushering him out, he spun her into him as he passed and pressed her against the wall.
"Fine," he murmured against her lips, "Tomorrow."
"Billie?!" Someone somewhere was pounding their feet, it was shaking the whole floor and her with it. Thorin didn't seem to mind, but he also wasn't shaking, he was just standing there grinning like a loobie.
"Hey, wake up." The voice said.
"Huh?" Billie's eyelids fluttered open, she was in her room at Balin and Dori's, she had come up here to change after they had all gotten back and must have fallen asleep. Bombor stood at the end of her bed, shaking her foot.
"Dinner is ready," he said. Billie sat up, disappointed. A dream, that's all it was, a stupid dream. She sighed and got to her feet, chiding herself mentally.
As if she'd ever be that lucky.
