New York City Friends

Season 3, Episode 5: Jersey, No Thank You

Starring~ Michelle McCool, Ashley Massaro, Candice Michelle, and Torrie Wilson.


Thousands of cities exist, but there is only one New York.

New York was the capital for fashion and therefore Michelle felt at home, but a salesman like Jack was 'important' in every state and part of the world. Michelle was in her small, yet expensive, typical Manhattan apartment lounging and feeling so right... until.

"They're relocating me to New Jersey," Jack excitedly announced to his wife, but he didn't get the same energy from Michelle.

Michelle was caught by surprise, she didn't know how to react. "Why," she just asked. Jack chuckled and he grabbed her hands as to give her some type of promise, "Better pay and the job is way more secure Michelle... basically if I don't go, I'll be unemployed," Jack explained to her.

"But you'll be unemployed in the Big Apple," Michelle jokingly teased. She then shook her head, "But seriously, this is all seems kind of abrupt," she admitted.

New Jersey is like the pretty, innocent sister of New York... but with a boring style and with a traditional view on life. In no hell way was I planning to move there.

"Of course it's abrupt, but the deal is one I can't turn down and I won't," Jack told her. "So pack yo' bags girl," he exclaimed as he picked up his jacket and scarf. "I'll be going out with some co-workers, I won't be seeing them anymore and I wanted to celebrate with em one last time."

Jack left, he was on top of the world and the top of the world to him was New Jersey. Michelle watched him from the living room window, she was far from happy... but he was happy and maybe that was enough? Except it wasn't, Michelle was at crossroads.


Ashley and Candice had just finished their daily morning workout. Ashley was enjoying her strawberry smoothie at Candice's place, she was going through the pages of Hampton's Magazine carelessly, when she came across a picture of Candice. "Holy shit fuck, Candice you're in here," Ashley said to Candice.

Candice put her smoothie down and rushed to her from her side of the table, "Oh my god, they got my good angle," Candice uttered. "The article is about my party, my Hampton's beach house party, hell yeah," Candice exclaimed as she snatched the magazine for a closer look.

Candice's party was a hit... as in it hit Candice in the head and she couldn't clearly remember. But the magazine definitely remembered the party and according to the article, "it was an epic preview of what Summer had to offer".

"You're like famous... locally," Ashley teased. Candice turned to her, "I'm fine with locally, because 'locally' is Hampton's and Hampton's is a summer oasis," Candice notified her. Her eyes shifting back to continue reading the article on her party.

Candice quickly picked up her phone and began dialing the home owner. "Hello, yeah, this is Candice, Candice Michelle! I rented your beach house a week ago or so, well, I would love to rent it for an entire month," Candice declared to the man through the phone.

Like any human that cares about fellow human beings, when a party is good, don't stop it. And Candice was a good human citizen.

Ashley slurped from her straw, she watched as Candice did her 'philanthropy' work. "Get ready to party your ass off and you're lucky you know me, you get VIP," Candice promised.

"And your smoothie, thank you very much," Ashley jokingly replied as she poured Candice's smoothie into her cup.


Nobody ever truly get's tired of the city, they just give up. Life catches up and they feel too weak to carry on in the most fast-paced city, Punk was one of those walking dead-men.

Torrie kept her distance from Punk for a couple of days now. He closed the doors on her and she learned that it was best to just give her friend some space, but she had finally worked the courage to check up on him again.

"Knock knock," Torrie exclaimed, opening the unlocked door to Punk's apartment. Punk looked up in confusion, the tears in his eyes made it harder for him to see.

Torrie froze. He wiped his tears away and instantly became aggravated. "Torrie, what the hell are you doing! Don't just walk into my apartment like that," Punk yelled at her. He walked to her and showed her to the door. While he threw her out, he kept his face down in shame.

Torrie was shocked that he was crying, now she was really worried for him. "Punk, if you wanna talk... and I know you don't, but maybe I can just sit by your side like the other night," Torrie suggested. She attempted to put her hand on his shoulder, but Punk stepped away.

"Leave, leave now Torrie and stop bothering me," he yelled at his friend. Torrie was used to him yelling at her to leave, so it didn't phase her anymore.

"Okay, but something's wrong and that's all I need to know Punk... I will never stop bothering you now that I know," she let him know as she walked away.

Torrie was from Staten Island and those Staten Island babes have to cross some waters in a Ferry to get to the real city... what I'm trying to say is that those Staten Island girls never give up.


Later that day I called up my girls for an 'emergency brunch', which meant we all had to rush no matter what. We made the pact years ago when Ashley thought she met her future husband and called us to ask if she should propose... well that never happened, but our 'emergency brunches' have lived on ever since.

Candice dropped her party planning agenda, Torrie and Ashley took a cab together in a rush. While Michelle waited on the same old table of their favorite diner. "What's the emergency," Candice asked nervously.

Michelle waited until Torrie and Ashley joined them at the table too, "Jack wants me to move with him to New Jersey," Michelle announced to them. They all gasped, it was a shock and an extreme call for the emergency brunch.

"Like New Jersey, New Jersey," Candice asked, mortified with the idea. "I mean, New Jersey made Bruce Springsteen and he's 'the boss'... but it's a fact that you can only be cool if you were raised in New Jersey, not if you move there in the middle of your life because your husband is being relocated there... no offense," Ashley said.

It wasn't a 911 emergency call, but it was a 212 emergency call (As in I risked the chances of leaving the 212 area code).

"Well, New Jersey is nice! It's calm and mellow, I like the community feeling of it," Torrie tried reassuring Michelle. Michelle turned her head away and shook it. "It's fine, you don't have to try! I already know that I don't want to move there... but Jack's job is moving him there and as his partner I basically have to move with him," Michelle explained, with her hand on her forehead.

"No you fucking don't! It's his job, not your's," Candice told her. "New Jersey isn't that far away honey, I'm pretty sure that new job of his will pay him enough to come and visit!"

Ashley quickly jumped in too, "I agree with Candice, don't move," she advised Michelle. "You already gave up so much for him and we were okay with some of the sacrifices... but come on, moving to another state!"

Torrie quietly nodded in agreement, "Yeah, honestly... I hate New Jersey too... don't move," Torrie admitted.

You couldn't take me out of this city if you tried. I would maybe go along, but my friends would never let a man take me away.

"Okay, Michelle you need to take that stress off of your back! So come to my pre-party, all of you need to come this time," Candice told them. "Her Hampton's party was featured on some local Hampton's magazine, which is why Candice is throwing a 'pre-party'... for the party," Ashley explained to Torrie and Michelle.

"That's right, my parties are the hot topic," Candice exclaimed. "I'll go," Michelle said. "Well, I'm already going," Ashley added.

Torrie looked at them and then abruptly told them, "I saw Punk crying today." They all turned to her, shocked. "I walked into his apartment and he was crying, he yelled at me to leave... he probably wouldn't want me telling you guys, but who else am I supposed to talk about it with," Torrie explained to them.

"You only have to know one little fact," Michelle whispered to Torrie. "Men push, women pull," Michelle got right to the point and Torrie had an 'aha' moment.


You're allowed to give up on a City, even if it's'the City', but you can never give up on friends.

Torrie had eased her mind with some television and cookie dough, when suddenly she heard two knocks on her door. They weren't just any knocks, they sounded familiar- they were rough knocks that were trying their best to come off as soft.

She opened the door to see vulnerable Punk standing in front of her. "I'm sorry," he said. "I have been an asshole and I'm sorry. I've been going through some fucking shit and you've just been trying to be there for me... but I keep pushing you away and somehow that makes me even more angry, because I know I need a great friend like you, yet I deprive myself from that type of close friendship," he explained.

Torrie didn't jump into hug him, but instead he did, for the first time. "Thank you, for tolerating me and sticking by," he said, while he hugged his friend tight.

And an old friend was back.

"I told my friends that I caught you crying earlier... so I'm sorry too, I shouldn't have," Torrie apologized. Punk laughed it off, "I deserved it, I've been a fucking jerk," Punk forgave. He forgave and it became easier to, because him and Torrie formed a friendship that was now much more real and raw.

"I'm honestly fucking starving," he told her. "Living on a cereal and scotch diet isn't so smart, what do you say we go out for some pizza."

Torrie agreed with a smile. She ran for her nearest jacket and beanie, and the two friends took off.


The evening was getting darker and that was a cue for Candice to start her pre-party. Many showed up, curious to see what the buzz was all about. Girls were wearing all types of pearls and shiny dresses, the men in casual blazers and the air was oh so smoky. The party had everything the city's nightlife had to offer, yet a dim and gloomy girl stood in a corner alone.

Ashley was that girl in the corner, a man walked towards her. Making direct eye-contact and even winking at one point, Ashley turned her head to the side and the man got the hint that she wasn't open for business.

She turned him away just like that, "Yeah, not tonight."

Every party has 'that man' and Ashley knew his moves. Even lesbians knew his moves, like the one next to Ashley.

"I'm impressed! You just straight up gave him the head tilt, as a lesbian I always feel like I owe them some type of explanation," the woman told Ashley. "Once you date them you begin to see how they can sometimes be assholes, so you don't really feel bad for them," Ashley explained to her.

The woman was Mickie James. She owned a party planning business and she had that Country girl attitude. She had feathers in her hair and brown boots to pair her simple jeans, but a Dior blazer to finish off the simplistic outfit.

"I'm Mickie by the way," Mickie introduced herself. Ashley smiled and shook her hand, "I'm Ashley."

Mickie scooted closer to Ashley and suddenly there was no longer a lonely girl in the room at some corner.


It was a jazzy night for Candice. She had purchased a new black cocktail Marc Jacobs dress and her 'pre-party' was a success worth every penny.

New guests were arriving to her penthouse, all enthusiastic about the party's hype. The classy music was playing smoothly and the food was amazing- shrimp and cocktails. The guests were having a fabulous time- whispering and laughing on a night that seemed to be theirs.

Candice was the 'it girl'. Put in her whatever City, and she would still manage to become the 'it-girl'.

"What an amazing party, Mrs. Michelle," a fellow party-comer told Candice. "To die for darling, I told all my friends and they can't wait for your big upcoming party," the flamboyant man raved to Candice.

Candice turned to the two, "Well thank you, it's just a pre-party... the real deal is this weekend, hope to see you there," Candice teased them as she walked away.

Another social-climbing woman ran up to Candice the second she saw her, "Loving the dress, it totally fits the pre-party vibe," she complimented Candice. Candice smiled and walked away for another drink.

Glamorized or scrutinized, Candice was always rocking the look and she always seemed to come on top of it all. Currently, she definitely had the crown and she was reigning as queen-bee.


Ashley was ready to end the night, but a true woman would never let another fellow woman kill the night so prematurely. They don't call it the 'nightlife' for nothing.

Mickie walked away and Ashley was left by the same corner Mickie found her in. Mickie turned away for a second, but then ran back for the lonesome Ashley. "You should come with me to an art gallery opening, all my friends are coming and I want you to join us," Mickie invited Ashley.

Ashley hesitated for a while, "No, I'm just gonna go home after this... but thank you," Ashley turned her invitation down. Ashley already had her bed in mind and she was already envisioning washing her face and brushing her teeth... but it wouldn't kill her to try something new.

Ashley took a leap of faith... into the lady pond. She wanted to change it up and Mickie looked like a fun girl.

Mickie stared at her for another few seconds, hoping she could change her mind with just a look. "Come on," Mickie nudged.

Ashley shook her head and laughed, "Okay, why not," she finally gave in. "I'm actually an artist, so you had me at 'art gallery'," Ashley admitted.

Mickie turned to her and winked, "I know, that's why I invited you," Mickie told her. Mickie and her took a cab, where they met up with Mickie's other friends in Lower Manhattan.

Ashley described the night as 'unforgettable'. That's the thing about New York, right when you think it's done, it comes right back with something new.


Not everybody was having that glitzy type of night, Torrie was a no-show to Candice's pre-party. She spent her afternoon helping Punk pack his last few boxes for Chicago. The two spent the afternoon talking and laughing, reminiscing on some good old memories.

The two were starving by the time they left Punk's apartment all empty and blank, yet so full of nostalgia. They went for some pizza at Nick's Pizza, which is where they had their first miserable date and now they were there as friends.

"You're gonna miss New York! No other city has a pizza place open at midnight, just saying," Torrie told him as the two sat with their slices of greasy pizza.

Punk wiped away the grease and laughed. "Yes, and I won't be able to fucking order food at any time of the day or turn a corner and find the food I was craving," Punk admitted. "But I have to leave, trust me."

The little pizza place was all silent for a while. The two were alone in there and the little yellow light bulbs in the place stood no chance with the city lights that reflected in the windows.

Punk finally broke the silence. "I wasn't going to tell you, but I've been the way I've been for the past few weeks because my mother has died and it's been hard on me," Punk finally opened up. "I'm moving to Chicago to take care of my sisters, they're young grieving twenty year olds and they need me," Punk explained to his best friend. Torrie was left breathless, she hugged him and felt the wall come down. He dropped his shoulders and let himself be open to vulnerability.

Chicago might be the city of the strong winds, but New York is the city where the winds are unpredictable. A tattooed weed-smoker being best friends with a sweet Staten Island girl, you would never expect it, only in this City. But it sure was a true friendship- it had vulnerability and there ain't nothing more true than vulnerability.


It was a long night for us City girls, but I wouldn't want to have it any other way. A fabulous party that reflected the City's nightlife, followed by a long walk home to reflect the real messy part of the City.

Michelle walked along Park Avenue, swinging her Dolce & Gabana purse and hopping over the sidewalk to cross the street. But before completing the cross, a car abruptly stopped and honked at her. "Hey, watch it," the man inside the car yelled at Michelle.

Michelle ran past the car and ignored the man. She continued walking, wondering if New Jersey had the same roughness and edge New York did.

New York wasn't easy, but that's why I loved it. It brought a sense of pride.

She had all these thoughts and questions, mostly all relating to fear. She loved her husband and she knew she had a great man waiting for her at home... but the City was her true love and home. Michelle stopped by a Cupcake shop and picked up a midnight snack, she then grabbed a copy of Vogue from the nearest Bodega and carried on.

Michelle didn't second think while crossing the street so carelessly, it was just a part of her nature. Like the City's midnight air, which was always fully alive.

It was no longer a question of staying or going, but of how I was going to tell my husband that I wasn't moving with him.

A young group of socialites walked by Michelle, heading for another open club. Following them was a businessman heading for a late-night meeting. The traffic was still every now and then, but the lights never dimmed, not even for a second.

This noisy, harsh, exciting City was my baby. Maybe I was crazy, or maybe I was just a New Yorker in love with the city. Sorry Jersey.


Special Guest Stars~ Jack Swagger, CM Punk, and Mickie James.

Published On April 30, 2016.