Ghosts of my Past
Henry and Regina fell through the portal and landed hard on the floor in Regina's bedroom. There was something different about it.
"Ugh! I'm getting too old for this." Regina exclaimed. They stood from the hard fall slowly. "What were you thinking? What was that portal for?" Regina yelled.
"Why did you follow me?" Henry questioned in frustration.
"Because I'm your mother and I will follow you wherever you go and I'm trying to keep you from making decisions you'll regret. Now answer my question."
"Stepmother!" They heard the awfully familiar voice of a girl. A moment later, teenaged Snow White ran in the room in her bandit outfit long before she was a bandit.
"Snow?" Henry couldn't believe his eyes. Regina tapped him, can't give away any future information.
"Stepmother, who is this?" Young Snow asked.
"This is… one of my many cousins, Henry. He won't be staying long. Henry meet my step-daughter Snow." Regina put on the façade of her old self, not at her worst but certainly not at her best.
"Pleasure to meet you." Henry said.
"The pleasure is mine." Snow replied. "Stepmother, there's something different about you."
Even though they aged slowly, a few decades still made a difference.
"What do you want Snow?" Regina asked with a bit of coldness, though not as bothered as she appeared. She was really more concerned about being in the past. She had to act the way she used to but she hated even pretended to be the miserable person she used to be.
"I just- I wanted to tell you… I defeated the bandits that were terrorizing our people, that's- that's all. I'll leave you be." Snow said, nervously then turned to walk out. Was it too much to ask for a mother/daughter moment? Her mother was gone, Regina was the closest thing she had but she never seemed to really be open, never wanted to get too close. Snow just didn't get it.
Regina remembered having this conversation before. It went fairly similar but before she didn't feel bad about it. She let her walk away and although she was messing with history, she couldn't do it again, not being the person she is now, not with the relationship they have now. "Snow. I'm proud of you. I knew you could do it."
"You did?" Snow turned to her with a smile. Finally, one moment where she opened up to her, at least a little bit.
"Yeah…"
Snow figured she had a little bit of an in so she wanted to share something with her. "… I met a boy, a demi-god actually. His name is Hercules. He taught me archery and everything. I could still use some work. We kissed!"
Regina didn't get that part of the story before and she would definitely ask Snow about it when they got back to their time but for now she had to try not to say anything that wouldn't make sense for the time.
"Quite an exciting day for a young princess… I better get back to my cousin so that he can go." Regina said to get Snow to leave and cut the conversation short. The younger Regina would know nothing of this conversation and she didn't want to risk saying anything that would cause too much confusion later.
"A time travel portal? You opened a time travel portal? Why?" Regina reprimanded after Snow left the room.
"Because I needed to change… the mistakes I made, mainly with Goldie but I wasn't supposed to be here. You messed it up."
"You don't mess with time and you can't just change your past because you mess up. Time travel is unpredictable. You have to live with the mistakes you make and don't keep repeating them. Besides, you have a child."
"That's not what I want, not like this, not with her."
"You've already done it, Henry. You can't do what you were trying to do. It's wrong. Maybe this isn't what you wanted but it's not the child's fault. That baby will be a part of you and whatever wrongs you've done, you can start to make it right through that baby"
"Don't you ever want to change your past?"
"Of course, Henry but like I said, you can't."
"You mean, you shouldn't but rules are meant to be broken."
"This is not up for discussion. We need Rumple's help."
"Don't you mean, dad?"
"Not in this time, I don't."
"Regina." Henry Sr. called as he entered the room. "I've been looking all over for you."
"Daddy?" Tears fell from Regina's eyes instantly, she couldn't even pretend. She hugged him.
"Are you alright, dear?" Henry Sr. asked. He couldn't remember the last time he had a hug from his pride and joy. He was pretty sure, it's been a few years.
Regina nodded and smiled. "I just love you, that's all."
"I love you too, sweetheart."
"I know I don't always show it and I have to be honest, that probably won't change but just remember that."
"I know you do." He hugged her again. "Who's that?" He referred to Henry II.
"This is… Reagan. He's doing me a favor."
"Honor to meet you, sir." Henry II said. An honor it was. He couldn't believe his namesake, Grandpa Henry was right there in front of him.
Henry Sr. smiled. "Regina, you're needed in the courtyard." Henry finally said why he was looking for her.
"I'll be there. I have to change." Regina replied. If memory served her correctly, she was on her way there anyway but really, how could she truly remember what she did fifty years ago? Henry Sr. left the room and Regina had to sit down to just take that in. She still had uncontrolled tears falling and she's not an uncontrolled crier. She holds back as much as possible but this was her daddy who she killed unfortunately. She dealt with it as much as possible but to actually see him and hold him brought so much up for her.
"So that's Grandpa Henry. Sweet man." Henry II said.
"I named you after the one person I loved the most and someone I wanted you to live up to. Someone I did so wrong but I wanted to make that up the best way I could with you… We need to get to Rumple but don't expect the grandpa you've grown to love and remember that he doesn't know he's my father so don't bring it up."
"But if he knew, maybe he wouldn't get you to cast the curse or train you in dark magic or nurture your darkness."
"What part of can't change the past don't you understand? Ever heard of a butterfly effect? Just because you change one bad thing, doesn't mean everything after will be better. I don't have time to explain the problems that can be caused. For once, would you just take my word for it? Or would you rather be erased from existence along with a lot of other people in your family and other families as well?"
"Fine, let's go."
They teleported outside Rumple's castle. Regina took a deep calming breath before she knocked. She was not in the mood or prepared to deal with old Rumplestiltskin. Finally she knocked and Rumple opened the door. Henry had only seen drawings of Rumple as The Dark One in the storybook so he couldn't believe his eyes when he saw him in person. His eyes could have popped out of his head and his mouth was wide open, a fly may have flown in. He couldn't even hide his shock.
"What brings you dearie?" Rumple asked in his animated way.
"I need your help." Regina replied.
"Of course you do. Who is that?" Rumple asked.
Regina looked at Henry and saw the element of surprise on his face then smacked his arm to snap him out of it. Then she took Henry's hand and just walked into the castle past Rumple.
"Listen, we're from the future and we need to get back to our time. I figure you can help us with that."
Rumple did his creepy giggle and Henry's eyes popped back out of his head. No way was this his grandpa.
"I thought you looked a bit old." Rumple said.
"Just get us home cro-" She started to insult him but she remembered she needed his help.
"Tell me who this is." Rumple repeated.
"You shouldn't know much about the future. You know that." Regina said.
"He reminds me a tad of…" Rumple's voice drifted. He was thinking of his son. There was an obvious family resemblance around the cheekbones and nose. The resemblance was there with Regina but it never occurred to him before. "Tell me, what happens when I find my son?"
"You shouldn't know-" Regina started.
"I know the rules. I taught you. I need to know."
Regina sighed. "What do you expect to happen? He's your son. Family reunion."
"You're not telling me something."
"What the hell else do you need to know?"
"Mom-" Henry started but as soon as the word left his mouth, he remembered Rumple wasn't supposed to know.
"Mom?" Queue Rumple's creepy laugh. "I thought the stench of bitterness and misery seemed faint."
"Don't worry, I'll be miserable long enough for you to get your stupid curse."
"Ooh. Still hostile, I see."
"Rumple, would you just get us home?" Regina responded, annoyed.
A wand appeared in Rumple's hand. "Only the ones who have gone through the portal can reopen it." He handed Regina the wand.
"Thank you." Regina said. The surprise from hearing thank you from Regina was on Rumple's face. She just rolled her eyes then wielded the magic from the wand and Rumple got out of the way. A portal opened then Regina and Henry jumped through. They landed on the bare ground this time, in the forest.
"Ugh! Must the landing be so hard?" Regina questioned.
"Do you think we're back?" Henry asked as they stood.
"I sure hope so." Regina said as they began to walk through the forest.
"So you still hold resentment against grandpa." Henry said.
"What are you talking about?"
"Clearly, you still hold the fact that he used you against him. What, everyone can forgive you but you can't do the same? I guess the poisoned apple didn't fall far from the tree."
"I have forgiven him but that doesn't mean I can stand who he was. Besides, he'd be more suspicious if I were nice to him. That was our relationship then."
"You two need to schedule a session with Jiminy Cricket."
"And you don't?" They walked past a tree but Regina saw something in the corner of her eye so she backed up to do a double take. There were two wanted posters hanging side by side and the faces who occupied them were Snow and Robin.
"Oh no." Regina uttered. "We're not back in our time! What went wrong?"
"The wand." He thought, "Just try again."
"It didn't come through with us. Crap!" They continued to walk ahead.
"Guess we have to go back to grandpa."
Regina sighed hard. She had enough of him for a day or a lifetime… Then both of them suddenly stopped in their tracks. Regina's breathing sped up.
"Oh my God." It was the most horrid thing Henry had ever seen in his life. An entire village of people were slaughtered right in front of him. "Who would do this?"
Regina didn't want to admit it but… "Me." She said. She didn't even want to see the look on Henry's face so she just didn't look at him. This wasn't who she was anymore and this was something she tried really hard to bury in the back of her mind. Tears fell because she couldn't hold them back as much as she tried but she still tried to stay composed. Since Henry wasn't staring her directly in her face, he couldn't see how it was effecting her.
Henry heard a lot of things that his mother had done but this one got away from him. He knew she was evil but wow.
They heard a sound so they got behind a bush and peaked out to look up to see Snow in her mid-twenties and Regina in disguise walking to the edge of the hill.
"Who is Snow with?" Henry asked.
"Me. I was in disguise. It didn't go the way I thought it would."
"If you wanted her dead so badly, why didn't you just kill her? Didn't seem like you had a problem doing that?"
Regina just took a deep breath and let that go for now. She looked up to see the end of Snow and Young Regina's conversation.
"We've gone further than I thought." Young Regina said as she looked down at all the dead bodies.
"These people are dead because they helped me." Snow cried.
"This isn't your fault." Young Regina turned to comfort Snow.
Henry found it strange that his mother would take the time to comfort Snow in this time.
"Oh I know. It's hers. I take it back. It is too late for her. I could never forgive her. There's no good in that woman. None!" Snow said.
Though Regina was quiet, by now, tears were steadily falling down her face. She hurt all these innocent people, hurt families, hurt her family. There were only two people in the world who truly loved her and she hurt them the most. She spent so much energy being hateful and angry. It got her nowhere, well nowhere good. So much time lost, speaking of time. She was ready to get out of this one.
"What about when she rescued you, the horse?" Young Regina asked.
"I never said it was her." Snow replied.
"I read between the lines." Young Regina said.
Snow turned to Young Regina and pointed her bow and arrow at her.
"It's you. Somehow your dark magic is hiding it but I know it's you." Snow said.
"Yes, it is me but there is good in me." Young Regina replied.
Henry looked over at all those dead bodies. Was she sure about that?
Young Regina called for Rumple but when he didn't come after her she dropped the sword and ran away.
She dropped the sword and ran away and Snow didn't let the arrow go. Henry really didn't understand them.
Henry finally looked his mother in the face and saw the emotional toll this was taking on her. She cared a lot more than he thought.
As tears fell down Snow's eyes she walked away in the opposite direction. It was then she thought, "The Evil Queen must die," but that wouldn't last long.
"Mom-" Henry started but Regina stopped him, she thought she heard something, a baby's whine to be specific.
"Did you hear that?" Regina asked.
"Hear what?"
She heard the baby again, fully crying now. She followed the sound through the dead bodies and Henry followed her. She found a baby girl about three months old lying amongst the bodies. She picked her up and rocked her. Tears were really falling now and control was totally out of the window.
"I'm so sorry!" Regina repeated over and over as she cried even shaking a little.
Henry never saw his mom like this before. It was making him reevaluate his entire perspective.
"Mom-" Henry started.
"I know I was awful. That's not even the word. I killed all these people, children, babies. I can't take it back. I wish I could but I can't. I get it, Henry. I really do. I'm so tired of living with this every day. I hate myself sometimes. These days, it's not so much that I'm battling good and evil as I'm battling loving and hating myself. I try to do better. I've learned from it but it hurts so much. I didn't want to become that person. I'm finally the person I've always wanted to be but this lingers over me every day. It's too much to bare sometimes but I did this and countless other acts. The overbearing pain I feel is an eternal punishment… This child would have died too because of me… I killed her family…I can't make it up to them but I can make it up to her."
"What are you going to do?"
"I'm taking her home with us. I took her life once, this time I'm going to give it back to her and I'm going to make it a good one."
"But what about changing history?"
"I'm not changing anything. She died before. I'm taking her to our time, it doesn't affect anything but the future."
They went back to Rumple's castle.
"This feels familiar." Rumple said as they stood at his door. "Didn't I get rid of you, say ten years ago?
"We ended up here. We need the wand again. Hopefully it'll work this time."
Rumple let them in and he noticed how Regina coddled the baby. "I never took you for the nurturing type." Rumple said.
"More nurturing than you are. I didn't let my son go through a portal alone." Regina said. Henry covered his eyes and shook his head. He peeked through his fingers to see Rumple's reaction.
"You need my help, remember?" Rumple reminded.
"You need to get rid of us. Unless you want to ruin all your little plans by keeping us here." Regina said.
"Are you a bigger pain in the future?" Rumple asked.
"What can I say, you created a monster. You should be proud. It's what you wanted, right?" Regina replied.
Rumple conjured the wand and handed it to Regina. "Focus this time, will you?"
"I'm afraid to fall on the baby." Regina said.
"I'll go through first and create a landing. Can we get out of here?" Henry hurried.
Regina opened the portal, Henry jumped through then Regina followed and landed on a cushion with a tight grip on the baby.
"You two alright?" Henry asked.
"Yes we are." Regina replied followed by Henry lending her a hand to get up. Then picking up his son who was left on the circle. Luckily, they were only actually gone a few minutes.
"I'm sorry." Henry said to his son then put Bae's heart back into the box.
"Are you over trying to change the past?"
"If I'm not you'll just follow me into a portal and deter me from my destination."
"You're learning." Regina said as they began to walk. "The land looks a lot nicer when I'm not running it into the ground." She reflected upon their visit to the dark past.
They went back to the castle to the family room where all the family was including Goldie. She was distraught not knowing where her baby was.
"There you two are!" Snow exclaimed.
"You took my baby. How could you do that to me?" Goldie leaped out of the chair in anger.
"It was wrong. I've learned my lesson. I apologize to everyone for my behavior. I wanted to undo everything that I've done over these past months, especially being with you."
"How could you say that?" Goldie asked.
"I know your plan. You wanted to kill my family so that you could be queen." All eyes were on Goldie. Awkward.
"So it's true but I've changed. They were nice to me and that whole debate, power or love? I finally got it. I realized I could finally have a family, a good one. I didn't want to ruin that."
"I've realized that what we had wasn't real. I don't love you. I also realize we have a son and we have to raise him together but you will not come between my family and the woman I do love." That sentence really boiled Goldie's insides. She knew what woman he was referring to. "But I thought of a name for him on the way here if you don't mind."
"Oh really. What?" Goldie replied with an attitude. He just kidnapped the baby and broke up with her, she didn't want to hear a name from him.
"Raphael." A name he can live up to and not be like us. I'm going to start living up to my name sake too. It won't happen overnight. I've been spiraling for years. It's not that easy but the effort is truly there. What do you say? Do you like it?"
She did like it. As much as she wanted to be petty and name him herself, she went along with it. "Rafael it is."
"Welcome Prince Rafael." He handed him to Goldie.
"Uh… Baelfire's heart, please." Vella reminded. This was not a good first impression of Henry but at least he apologized?
Henry opened the box then went over and shoved Bae's heart back in his chest. As soon as he did, Bae punched him in the face, realizing what happened.
"How could you do that to me?" Bae questioned.
"I deserved that. I'm sorry."
Bae took a few steps away. He was too heated with him at the moment. Everyone was always worried about someone trying to steal his particularly special heart, never would have thought his own family would do it.
Who's this little angel?" Snow inquired about the baby in Regina's arms.
"My new daughter?" Regina looked at Robin seeking his approval. "I know this is sudden and we never planned to raise a child all over again but-"
"Where did you find her? Where were you two?" Robin asked.
Regina sighed. "We went back in time. Two different times actually." There was a long pause before she continued. They were just waiting for the answer. "She was amongst the villagers I had slaughtered, only she survived and I heard her so I saved her. I just couldn't leave her, you know? That's one of the things I feel the most guilt about and at least I could make it up to one of them." She was rambling and not looking directly at any of them.
"Okay. We'll raise her as our own. We'll tell the kingdom we got her from the orphanage. It wouldn't be the first time this family has done that." Robin said.
"Yeah, she's a part of the family now. So what are you going to call this little princess?" Snow asked.
"I've been thinking of calling her Raven."
"Sounds very appropriate." Robin smiled and kissed Regina's forehead. "Why don't I take care of Raven for a moment while you settle in?" Robin took the baby and left the room. The rest of the family began to go their separate ways as well but Regina and Snow stayed behind.
"Are you okay?" Snow asked. A trip to her past couldn't have been easy.
"I don't know if I'm ever truly okay. I have to deal with the guilt of my past every day. Seeing it again was another story. I'm sorry."
"For what?"
Really? For what? Regina supposed there was a lot to be sorry about. "How I treated you."
"We've been through this. You don't have to keep apologizing. It was half a century ago. We've moved on from that."
"But I just saw it again today. I love you, you know that?"
"Yes. Mom, I know." Snow hugged her.
"So your first kiss was with a demi-god?"
"I told you that."
"Yes, you told me now, not me then. I would have asked more questions but risk of changing the future and all. Details."
They engaged in some mother/daughter girl talk for a while then the conversation diverted to Henry.
"I learned how much patience I've gained spending that time with Henry. He angered me a few times. I hope my past was enough to shock him back to normal. I hope he doesn't plan on telling Raven that I… you know. It won't help anyone."
"I'm sorry." Henry reentered the room a moment ago and listened. "I've been terrible. I never understood your relationship before or how Snow could forgive you but I do now. There's always been some love there. When I was a child, I thought you and papa were perfect. When I learned otherwise, I was in denial but it angered me a bit. When I was possessed, it brought all those things to the forefront and I tried to fight it but there was a freedom in having no care in the world and just being honest with my feelings. It was easier not to fight it. After watching you in your past and your grief, I don't want to continue to make you suffer. I was listening and paying attention. You don't have to worry about me telling Raven where she comes from. I love you mom." He hugged her.
"I love you too, son." They invited Snow into the hug then Roland came in.
"What's going on?"
"New beginnings. Join us." Henry invited and he did.
"Dinner was sort of ruined but it doesn't have to stay that way. Let's get everyone back to the dining room." Regina said.
"Do you think anyone really wants to eat with me right now? I only apologized five minutes ago." Henry pointed out.
"This is the first time we've all been back together in months with new additions to the family." Regina said.
"Exactly mom. Dinner is happening." Snow concurred.
They got everyone back down to the dining room for the feast. It was very awkward at first but it started to loosen up over the courses. It was a rollercoaster day. Good, bad, good again, bad… At least it ended on a high note.
