New York City Friends
Season 3, Episode 11: When The Shoe Don't Fit
Starring~ Michelle McCool, Ashley Massaro, Candice Michelle, and Torrie Wilson.
New Jersey is very pretty, but not every pretty shoe fits every woman.
In a city that wasn't New York City, and not even a city but a town, Michelle walked down in a rush. A part of her was so used to always being in a rush on the streets, but something about that little town in New Jersey was telling her to slow down a little.
Michelle always liked having breakfast at the little bodega by the corner of her apartment, and instead of having lunch she would have brunch at the same little diner place with her girls. But things change, they have to, and so Michelle went along to find a new place to have breakfast at. She turned to the street in search of a cab, but the streets were nearly empty, the few cars on the streets were all filled with soccer moms dropping off their kids at school.
They say you can never take the country out of the country girl, but the saying for a city girl is a little different- "You can never take the city out of a city girl because she would never leave in the first place, and if she does, it's cause she jumped in a cab not knowing where she was really being taken to."
Michelle thought about calling an uber, at one point she even thought about taking the bus. She was even beginning to miss the subway. Michelle walked back home and ate a bowl of cereal instead, it was a knock-off of Lucky Charms. Meanwhile she watched the local news to feel more connected to the town of Kearny, but the connection wasn't strong.
After many failed dates and hookups, Ashley was done with the dating app world. Until one sunny day, when she found the gold after going through so much coal.
Ashley was intrigued by this man's smile, he had a very bright smile. They chatted and finally decided to plan a date.
They met up at a Japanese restaurant, Ootoya, in Greenwich Village. He had a beanie and a flannel, converse, and a pair of jeans- very casual. Ashley turned to look at him, she felt so overdressed... which was a first for her.
"Woah, you look stunning," he told her. She smiled, "Well, I'm not usually dressed like this," she let him know. Ashley was wearing her 'go-to dress', it was a black poofy dress that reached right above her knees, it had mint-colored polka dots on it. She had to have a 'go-to dress', because guys liked perfect. It was refreshing for Ashley to meet a guy who didn't seem like a try-hard or a fake.
He sat down and instantly got back up, "Oh no, Oh no," he started panicking. "I forgot my wallet," he told her.
Normally Ashley would have offered to pay, but she left her wallet because of those same old dating rules that a woman shouldn't even carry money.
"I left my wallet too," she told him. The two looked at each other and laughed, "My place isn't too far away from here, it's down in Brooklyn," he said and the two booked it.
After having her Lucky Charms wannabe, Michelle had nothing else to do in her home. She had the day off from work and Jack was off at work, the only man around was Jersey.
Michelle never really had any male friends, other than Mark, so she didn't want to take the time to meet Jersey. Instead she went off to meet her female neighbor, who lived with all of her family and happened to be home too. Michelle knew she was home because she would always see her walking around from the kitchen window.
Michelle walked over and knocked softly, after only a few seconds the woman opened the door. "Why hello, you must be the new neighbor, nice to meet you," the woman joyfully exclaimed with her thick Jersey accent.
Her name was Taryn, Taryn Terrell. She had an innocent face, with a simple view on the world around her. She had blonde locks, she wore a cute flannel, and she had chickens.
"Wow, look at you, all dressed up... where ya going? The doctor's," Taryn asked. Michelle laughed, until she realized it was a real question.
"Oh no, this is how I always dress," she told her. "Come meet my chickens," she randomly blurted out. Michelle wanted to fit in, so she went at her own risk.
"So these are the little guys," Michelle asked, trying to keep a distance from the chickens.
I always hated chickens, ever since I was a little girl, but I had to bargain to try and make a new friend because I love friends, ever since I was a little girl. Friends are like the perfect pair of shoes.
Taryn picked one up and handed it to Michelle, "She's gorgeous isn't she!" Michelle nodded, "Of course," she insisted.
Taryn eventually brought out a glass of lemonade for Michelle and the two got to talking.
Her drink was lemonade, mine was a Cosmo... but I can't complain, the connection was there.
Away from Jersey and over in the summertime breezy Hamptons Candice prepared herself for a party that would top all of her other parties. Ever since aligning herself with the Hamptons King, rumors of her being a gold-digger were beginning to spread around and Candice knew the only way to shut them down was to be better than them and blow them out of the water.
The Hamptons King's mansion was covered in Jewels and prestigious gems. Everything looked so glossy and glamorous.
The party was 'Royal Themed'. It only made sense that the Hamptons King and the newly Hamptons Queen would eventually end up throwing a party with such theme.
Candice ordered four men in shining armor to guard the front door, it was too hot for them to be in full costume, so Candice spiced it up by painting them silver and allowing them to be naked. So four naked men painted all silver guarded the front door, all very physically appealing just like the transformed mansion.
Candice removed all of the exotic and beachy decor out of the house, she replaced everything with high-class glass and linen. Everything was very British and fancy.
Candice thought about inviting Queen Elizabeth... but that idea came to her when she was drunk, eventually she realized it was unrealistic. And even more unrealistic was her idea to invite Princess Diana.
The hostess wore a Valentino white gown that reached all the way to her feet, she wore silver heels, a diamond choker, and she wore wavy extensions. Her outfit was almost a hybrid of 'bride' and 'JLo'. The shining jewel of it all was the crown, literally- crystals and rhinestones.
Every little detail was very classy. It was a black-tie event, quite the fancy event of the summer. She poured herself a mimosa and took a few shots before firing the party.
Hundreds of people showed up, all dressed and ready to take a sip of Candice's golden summer party. Candice and the Hamptons King greeted everybody by the door, the crowd all bowed and when the music hit they all moved and grooved.
When a woman finds the right shoe that looks and fits so wonderful she'll go on and on about it. When Torrie and I talked on the phone she went on and on about this Yankee, Seth Rollins. According to her, they were really hitting it off and out of the park.
"So apparently my publicist thinks I have the potential to be featured in a Powerade advertisement, she even scheduled up a commercial for me to be featured in... but I just don't know," Seth told Torrie.
Torrie tried acting casual about it, but the statement was so out of her world. "Well I think so too, you helped my book sell more... I'm sure you can also promote a sports drink the same way," Torrie told him.
Seth was about to respond, when suddenly three women ran towards him screaming. "Oh my god, Seth, Seth," they all yelled. The oldest was the mother and the other two were young college women, "We love you, my daughters almost didn't come because they had school... 'like whatever' I told them, 'we might end up meeting a Yankee'... and we did," the mother exclaimed joyously.
And then suddenly Torrie realized they were both in very different parks. The pair of shoes she wanted fit... but they were out of her price range.
Torrie stood aside while Seth signed the women's jerseys, "Have a good one," Seth said. The three quickly squeezed in with him for a picture, they handed Torrie the camera. "Okay, say cheese," Torrie told them as the camera flashed.
"Thanks, we love you, and good luck on this season," they exclaimed as they walked off.
Seth and Torrie stayed silent for a while. "So that's your life," Torrie finally said. Seth nodded and shrugged, they kept on walking around the Stadium and Torrie couldn't help but wonder how insanely out of her league he was.
It seemed as though Ashley found her right pair of shoes too. The man was Enzo Amore, he was the guy who Ashley had been talking to for weeks through a dating app. They're bond seemed very imaginative, but when they met in person everything felt so real.
"Well, here's my dang wallet," Enzo said as he picked it up and waved it around all frustrated. "Let's just not have a freaking date at some boring ass restaurant... let's just stay in and make that our first date," Ashley suggested.
He smiled. "I'll order pizza," he proclaimed.
The two fit perfectly. He was like the sock to her shoe.
"I don't want to seem like a poser or anything... but can I play for you on my guitar," he asked. Ashley was not going to stop him, she sat on his bed waiting.
He ran to his closet and pulled it out, "What song do you want me to play," he asked her. Ashley didn't even have to think about it, "Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls," she responded.
Enzo shook his head, "I don't know that song actually," he admitted. Ashley shrugged it off, "Okay, what about 'Wonderwall'," Ashley suggested. And so Enzo played that classic Oasis song.
Ashley watched him play that guitar so artistically and his entire apartment was so artistically pleasing too, even the pizza boxes that laid on the floor of his apartment got her feeling some type of nostalgic way. She then got up and walked towards a blank painting canvas he had set up, "May I," Ashley asked and he nodded. She begin to paint a starry sky while he played guitar, the two took breaks in between to smoke and chat.
It wasn't a cliche date by any standards, but it was definitely a cliche Brooklyn night. Painting, pizza, guitar, cigarettes- that screamed Brooklyn. Ashley felt so comfortable and the night was most definitely her heavenly oasis.
I also had a very cliche Jersey Summer night.
Michelle had a temptation to call her friends, but she chose not to and instead went out with her newest friend. Taryn insisted on taking her down to 'The Shore', specifically Seaside Heights.
Ashley in Brooklyn, Candice in The Hamptons, Torrie in The Bronx... and me in Seaside Heights, where that MTV show with all those overly tanned trashy people was located.
"Let's go down to the shops on the pier," Taryn exclaimed and Michelle followed.
Michelle moved uneasily and Taryn noticed. "Yes, this place is negatively portrayed in the media or whatever... but darling when it's your home you know the truth and it's core, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else than here, especially in the summertime," Taryn told her. "And no we ain't getting no spray tan... I can't stand spray tans, it leaves your skin all sticky and smelly," Taryn added.
I got no fake tan, I wasn't involved in no Italian mobster activity, or any angry fights... just a nice walk with a new friend down the pier. Forgetting about the stereotypes and forgetting about what I had left behind, Jersey felt like a true friend in that moment.
As they entered the little shop Michelle tried keeping a positive outlook, but everything was so tacky. Cheetah prints, overly designed accessories, and cheesy muscle t-shirts. So they went on to the next shop.
Then suddenly Michelle fell in love- the shop had snacks, accessories, makeup, and even clothing combined in that store... but not in a tacky way. The snacks were all delicious, the accessories were cute, the makeup was okay, and the clothing was well crafted. Cheap, but cute and tasteful.
Soon, Michelle had her bags too. Taryn then took Michelle out to Funtown Pier. "I don't care where you come from or who you are, you're gonna fall in love with Funtown Pier... it is like a colorful fair that just always leaves a nostalgic memory in your mind," Taryn explained to her.
And she was right, I will never forget Funtown Pier or that night in Jersey. New Jersey sure gave it to me, it was a shoe I would've never thought I would end up wearing.
And in the Hamptons a different feeling was brewing, an enemy instead of a friend. Wade showed up to Candice's party, his girlfriend was invited by a friend who was invited by another friend that the Hamptons King had invited and Wade of course had to be her plus one.
The fabulous party hostess was taking a sip of her pink champagne, when suddenly the buzz on her phone notified her of a new message. She put her drink down and opened up the message, which was from Wade and it read- I'm at your party, turn around
Candice felt a hurricane rumble instantaneously in her stomach, she turned around and there he was waving. "Dumb bitch," she said under her breath. She rushed to him to confront him, "What are you doing here," she asked her ex-husband.
"You throw a hell of a good party, and you get a free mansion to do so... it's no wonder Brooklyn worries about what you do in your free time," Wade said. "Excuse me, what I do is none of your business and you have no right to confront me or lecture me on my lifestyle at my own party. After all, you did take Brooklyn away from me twice, do you expect me to sit on my ass all day waiting," Candice shot back at him.
"I'm just saying, you need to think about Brooklyn," he advised her, "Drinking like an alcoholic and throwing parties at some man's mansion, which I heard you now live in too, spending thousands of dollars on all of this... that's not necessarily what a mother should be doing with her free time."
The royal queen wasn't so royal after that, she ended up throwing it down and getting a little dirty. I guess the Hamptons was acting more like 'Jersey Shore' than actual Jersey.
Candice turned away from him to get her drink and without thinking she fired the drink in his face, "Get out of my fucking party and don't ever come back, tell your girlfriend to check the damn invitation next time and if she sees my name on it she better know to stay away," Candice yelled at Wade.
Wade didn't have time to confront Candice or even wipe the drink off of his face, a security guard pulled him by the arm. His girlfriend followed and that was the end of it.
Off with his head!
Torrie was running in a league right below Seth, but that league obviously didn't exist to Seth because he told her that he liked her in a cab while going to the Bronx park.
Torrie lost her head too.
Seth wanted to take her to the Bronx park to teach her how to bat, Torrie agreed because he was a Yankee and because she kind of liked him too. He stood right behind her, with his hands on her's. "Okay, now swing and always keep your arms like this," he advised her. Seth ran a couple feet from Torrie, he prepared the baseball and then pitched it to her as carefully as he could.
She swung, but missed. "I'm bad at this," Torrie apologized. "No, you're doing fine," he promised her.
Seth again pitched and Torrie missed by a lot. At one point she even accidentally let go of the bat, but injured nobody.
Torrie felt judged by Seth, and she didn't blame him if he was judging. He was a professional baseball player after all.
"I'm sorry, I am terrible," she cried out. He chuckled, "You look cute trying, even if you're terrible," he replied. Torrie smiled.
Eventually, after many tries, Torrie finally did hit the ball successfully. It flew over the Bronx River and it hit a man on the back, "Oh no!" Torrie and Seth look at each other, ready to either apologize or run.
The man turned around all angry, so Seth grabbed Torrie by the arm and he ran with her. "Well it was a good hit," he told her as the two laughed.
And then suddenly Torrie saw he was not out of her league, in fact, they were playing on the same team.
After kicking out her ex-husband and his girlfriend from her party, Canidce needed a little refreshing drink to simmer down a little.. ironically.
It was photoshoot time, a queen is always busy. Candice had been so busy planning the party, being the jewel of the party, and then kicking out her ex-husband that she forgot she had a photoshoot with the Hamptons King for the 'Hamptons Magazine'.
Candice drank her fruity margarita while a makeup artist touched her up real quick. The guests continued partying, but a small space by the pool was reserved for just Candice and the Hamptons King. A rack of designer branded clothes were brought in, Candice picked out a Prada white dress with a gold belt, some black sharp Louis Vuittons, and some Channel sunglasses. The Hamptons King had on a striped blue button-up shirt, some white chinos, a pair of black Michael Kors dressing shoes, and a shiny silver Rollex.
The makeup artist quickly worked on Candice's hair by putting in some additional extensions that made her look like a Greek goddess, she bronzed and highlighted her face. Candice was illuminating with a JLo glow and the fan behind the cameras made her hair all wavy.
Candice was the true diva, posing by the pool with a wealthy man by her side (whom she wasn't even sleeping with), a mansion in the background, and young attractive party people hanging around the scene.
The flash of the cameras blinded Candice more than Wade's words, but she always found her solid footing on the ground and with this photoshoot the entire beach community would know her as the 'Hamptons Queen'. Candice put her arms around the Hamptons King's neck, she tilted her head back and let her hair fall naturally into the fan-blown wind. Looking directly at the camera with a sexy pout, Candice felt so fine.
Candice felt so right and fierce, she even ended up calling Wade to apologize for the drink in his face... but never for the drink that went down her throat or any other aspect of her lifestyle. She was the socialite, the Hamptons queen, the diva, and everything in between that involved Prada and drinks.
And another woman trying out a shoe that just fit so right was weren't Prada, but they were right.
The two went out for some late-night coffee after playing guitar and painting. They got back home pretty late, Ashley was heading for the door when Enzo pulled her by the hand.
"Do you wanna just look at the moon," he asked her. The idea was cheesy, but Ashley couldn't resist. "Fine then, but make it worth the while," she teased.
The two ran off, like two young teenagers in love. They ran towards the Brooklyn Bridge park, laughing and feeling that special night sink into their skin and burn as a memory in their mind forever. "I like to look at the moon, I'm not gonna lie," Ashley admitted.
He turned to her in surprise, "I do too," he responded sarcastically. The two picked a spot on the grass and they laid back, "I think we need some music too," he suggested and then started playing 'Iris' by the Goo Goo Dolls on his phone. He grabbed a pair of headphones and shared them with her.
Ashley couldn't help but laugh, it was all too cheesy and perfect.
Looking at the moon while listening to Iris was so cliche, but that particular cliche and cheesy romantic night didn't pinch Ashley's feet... it felt just right and it looked pretty. It's like a tomboy discovering heels.
The moon was glowing in the dark skies, all the little stars were hidden, but the moon was so bright and the city around lit up in yellow color too. Ashley and Enzo held hands and just watched the moon, they then began talking about its magic and its wonders. Soon enough they were talking about the rest of the galaxy, then their beliefs, then their dreams and fears.
For the first time, the love was mutual and very real for Ashley.
New Jersey felt like New York that night, it comforted me the way New York did for more than a decade and it gave me something that I could keep in my memory. Jersey didn't feel so out of place now that I was getting used to it.
Michelle finally got home, it was only just 10 PM. The television was on, The Office was playing in the background. After a fun night with a new friend, who also happened to be the neighbor, Michelle was excited to tell Jack everything... but he was all asleep on the couch.
He was covered up with a blanket, he didn't need Michelle. She stared at him and then looked around the blank house, and then sighed under her breath.
Maybe it was never Jersey that didn't fit... maybe it was this marriage. I was beginning to feel a drag on our relationship.
Michelle tapped him on the shoulder, "Hey, let's take you to bed," she whispered to him as she helped him up. He didn't take the hand she stuck out for him, he got himself up and went to bed without really even acknowledging her.
"So I had fun tonight, I'm really starting to like this place," Michelle told him. Jack was too tired to even listen, "Talk to me tomorrow, I'm too tired right now," he shut her down.
Michelle stayed behind, which was one of her fears right from the beginning of that marriage.
The shoe wasn't fitting, it never did and it never will. I tried so hard squeezing my feet into those shoes... but they just weren't for me and the worst part was realizing that in the middle of the night at a place miles and miles away from the place and everything else I left behind.
Special Guest Stars~ Enzo Amore, Taryn 'Tiffany' Tarrell, Hamptons King, Seth Rollins, Wade Barrett, and Jack Swagger.
Published On July 7, 2016.
