Disclaimer – I do not own Harry Potter.
Note – I am so sorry! I did not mean to make you guys wait so long for an update, especially when it's such a short chapter. Life has seriously kept me busy this summer. But whenever I have the time, I promise I'm working on updates for you guys. So read and enjoy, and thank you for being patient with me!
Rebel Malfoy
Chapter Thirty-Four: Is This Love?
Scorpius groaned in the back of his throat as Lily pressed her lips fervently against his own. What had at first been a chance to have Lily help him with his most recent potions essay, had quickly turned into them snogging instead . . . Not that he was complaining. Quite opposite, actually.
She was straddling him, her hands running through his hair. Usually, he was the one above her leading the kiss, but he had to admit that he liked this as well. He brought his hand down to her leg, and tiptoed his fingers slowly along her skin. Thanks to their position, her already slightly too short skirt rose even higher, baring more skin to his touch.
His other hand he let trail under her shirt, and after rubbing her side for a moment, moved up to her bra. After the first time he'd "felt one," as Rex had put it, he'd grown a bit more confident in doing it more often, and Lily had never stopped him.
In fact, she moaned lightly into their kiss, making his entire body heat up. He brought his other hand slowly to the back of her thigh, before lightly tracing patterns. If he'd learned anything in their few months together, it was that Lily was oddly sensitive, at least more so than he'd have thought her to be. And he exploited that fact frequently in moments like these.
She giggled lightly into their kiss, squirming under his touch. "Stop, that tickles," she protested weakly, her smile infectious.
Scorpius smirked. "I know it does," he mumbled as he moved his lips to her throat.
But she sighed heavily, and this time really pulled away, causing him to scowl. She laughed again. "Look, I told you I had to see Professor Slughorn this evening. He wants to go over tomorrow's lesson plan," she reminded.
Scorpius groaned. "Do you have to go now?"
"Better now than later looking like hell because you have to put your hands everywhere," she teased lightly as she got up and began to grab her bag.
"What about my essay?" Scorpius pointed out, hoping to keep her with him. He'd take revising an essay if it meant she'd stay.
She smiled softly. "I told you most of what you needed to fix. And we can go over it again when I get back later." She leaned forward and kissed him softly and chastely.
He continued to scowl, but relented. "Fine, fine," he mumbled. "Go on before I change my mind," he said jokingly.
She laughed as she left, but once she had, Scorpius sighed. He tossed his textbook onto the floor, dropped his unrevised essay next to it, and laid back on his bed. He closed his eyes as he sank into the mattress, and smiled as he thought of when Lily would return, and how they might continue where they had left off.
Her skin was warm and soft under his fingers. But as his hand moved with confidence along the bare skin of her side, it felt like sparks were shooting through his palm and jolting his entire body. It sent a heat rushing through his own skin, and pooling in his lower abdomen.
He couldn't help but place kiss after kiss, on her lips, her cheek, her throat, over her pulse. She was just too addicting for him to want to stop. And the way her fingers moved through his hair, her nails lightly, teasingly, scratching his scalp made his whole body shiver with excitement.
"Scorpius."
Never had his name sounded so sensual before. He kissed her more fervently, his hand moving ever upwards. When had she taken off her shirt? He pulled away from the kiss, and felt his own pulse race at the sight of her in a light green bra and skirt. He felt his face get hot, and gulped. He felt himself holding his breath when she pushed away a few tendrils of red hair, and reached behind her back.
"Scorpius."
"Scorpius!"
Scorpius woke with a start when something hit him in the face. He sat up immediately and looked around. When had he fallen asleep? He saw Mitch, digging through his drawers, throwing things out haphazardly. Then he looked down at his bed to see that it had been a magazine that'd hit him.
"What the hell are you doing?" Scorpius grumbled, a bit irritated at being woke up, although a bit embarrassed by his current situation as well.
"You were groaning in your sleep," Mitch said simply as he continued to dig through things. "I thought I'd give you that for when you woke up."
Scorpius scowled as he picked up the magazine. He blushed when he saw that it was a Witch Weekly, with Lily on the cover. He even remembered the day his mum had dressed her in this for the pictures.
He felt like glaring at Mitch, but Mitch wasn't even looking at him. Not a sly look or a joke. He seemed to be looking for something. So Scorpius took the magazine, and headed for the bathroom.
"Thanks," he mumbled, still a bit embarrassed.
"Don't mention it," Mitch assured.
"Same to you," Scorpius said before shutting the door.
"Scorpius Malfoy, next time you book us to practice in the pouring rain, I hope you get a horrible cold," Lily mumbled as the entire team trudged into the locker room, soaking wet and a bit muddy.
Scorpius rolled his eyes. Actually, he hadn't thought it was supposed to rain so badly when he'd scheduled practice for the afternoon. Then halfway into their drills, it had begun to downpour, but Scorpius hadn't called the practice off.
After seeing the Gryffindor team's tryouts, partially making sure that Potter didn't try to kick Hugo off the team, Scorpius had been more determined and focused on crushing them in November, and he didn't want to wait around. He'd put together a rigorous practice schedule, and even had the pitch booked weeks in advanced to make sure they kept to it.
"Normally, I wouldn't mind a little rain," Lance muttered as he grabbed a towel, "but I have to agree. It was so cold I lost feeling in my hands near the end."
"I could ring out my uniform and fill a tub," Lars grumbled as he began to pull off his waterlogged practice uniform.
"Quit complaining. No one died," Scorpius mocked as he headed for the showers. But, even though he wouldn't admit it, he relished in the warmth of the shower once he was under the water. He too was chilled to the bone, although that wasn't reason enough for him to stop practicing.
He wasn't the first one out of the shower. Hank and Bobby Pritchard were halfway done changing, and Scorpius froze momentarily when he saw Lily lacing up her shoes. Her hair was still damp, and he could tell she hadn't really made the attempt to dry it. He felt a small heat come to his cheeks before he quickly moved to his locker, and began to pull on his pants.
Ever since that dream the other day, he sometimes couldn't stop himself from imagining it again. What it would be like to feel her bare skin against his. To be unhindered by her shirt, and to . . .
Scorpius shook his head. He needed to stop thinking about it! The last few nights he'd had similar dreams, and was constantly sneaking out of bed before she even woke up so that he could change, and avoid an awkward situation. Sometimes, he thought that sharing a bed was going to end badly, but his potential embarrassment if she knew his dreams, or woke up before him, wasn't enough to change the fact that he loved nothing more than falling asleep next to her, and seeing her when he woke up.
"Hey!"
Scorpius jumped and looked from where he now sat on the bench, to see Lily standing in front of him, looking at him curiously. He gulped. "I'm sorry, what?" he inquired.
She looked ready to roll her eyes, but didn't. "I asked what's wrong. You've been staring at your left shoe for like two minutes now," Lily teased lightly.
Scorpius looked at his feet. While lost in his thoughts he'd tied the right one, but the left remained loose and undone. "Oh," he mumbled, and quickly began to tie it.
"Something wrong? You've been a bit spaced out the last few days," Lily commented as he stood up.
He scratched the back of his neck. While he knew that . . . he could tell her anything, he didn't want to deal with the embarrassment. So he attempted to brush it off. "It's nothing. I've just got a lot on my mind," he mumbled as they walked to the door.
The rain had lightened up, if only a little. So they hurried up to the castle, not wanting to get soaked through again. Once they were inside, and the normal warmth seeped back into them, they both pulled out their wands and began to dry themselves off.
"You know," Lily spoke again, "you can tell me if something's wrong."
Scorpius sighed. She was beginning to worry about him again, and he didn't want to do that to her again. "It's nothing, really. Just with getting this practice schedule perfected, doing homework each day, and revising for exams . . . there's just a lot in my head," he tried to assure. It wasn't a complete lie . . . just not the complete truth either.
She took his hand as she began to walk toward the Great Hall, bringing him along. "Well don't let things stress you out. If you need help, just ask."
Scorpius smirked. "Trust me, I plan to come to you with all my potions problems, princess," he assured jokingly.
They took their seats at the Slytherin table with their friends, who were already eating and laughing about something. Hugo was there, sitting next to Lola, so Lily took the seat on his other side.
Scorpius couldn't help but grin a little as he watched his girlfriend and her cousin.
"It was the greatest thing!" Hugo laughed as he told her a story. "Albus was so focused on yelling at the Chasers for not putting in enough effort that he just slams right into the wall! I don't know what was more comical. His flying into the wall or his face when it happened!"
Lily laughed openly, her smile making Scorpius smile as well. He had to admit that he had never thought he'd accept a Gryffindor at their table, but he was actually happy to have Hugo around so often. Lily seemed happier when he was around. Scorpius wondered if it was because it was something familiar. A part of her old life that she was finally getting back.
Scorpius scowled a little. He didn't really have anything like that. The only thing he'd lost was Lucius . . . and Scorpius wasn't sure if hecould ever allow that man back into his life. Then again, he was sure that Lucius would never change. Would never apologize. His father was probably right. Lucius was too far gone to ever really change his ways.
He blinked a few times as he felt something poke his forehead. He pushed away his thoughts to see Lily looking at him with a raised brow. "As attractive as that scowl is, I also know that it means deep thoughts are running through your head again. Are you sure everything's ok?"
Scorpius wet his lips, unsure if she'd let him play it off again. But before he could speak, a loud voice cleared its throat, and brought the entire room's attention to Headmaster Brown. "If I may have your attention for just a brief moment. I just want to inform you that the school's Board of Governors will be coming tomorrow, and we will be having a feast to welcome them all, as they take the time to observe how things are going here at Hogwarts."
Scorpius looked at the headmaster with a bit of curiosity. The governors? Why would they come here? He'd never heard of it before, except in one of the stories his father had told him, but that had been because of the Chamber of Secrets. What could be as bad as that?
"Now, I will let you all continue to eat. Enjoy your evenings!" Professor Brown said with a bright smile, before sitting back down in his chair.
"The governors? That's weird," Hugo mumbled around a mouthful of food.
"I wonder what they're observing us for," Lola said, sounding just as curious.
But Scorpius was sure that she wasn't the only one asking that question.
The last thing Scorpius really wanted to do was to get out of bed. It'd thankfully been a night without dreams, his bed was warm, and Lily was a warm comfort in his arms. He didn't want to get up. But he soon felt a small and soft hand pushing his arms away, and weight shifting on the mattress.
He opened his eyes, scowling, to see Lily sitting up, stretching lightly. She gave him a bright smile. "Good morning," she said happily.
He let his scowl drop, but he didn't get up. "Is there a reason you're up already?"
"I'm hungry," she said simply. "Besides, I thought you preferred if I got up before the boys."
"The last thing Rex needs is to see you in shorts that small," he retorted dryly, although not really complaining. He personally liked them, just not the idea of others seeing them.
She rolled her eyes, still smiling. "Whatever. I'm getting up. Feel free to stay." Then with a quick kiss, she pushed aside his curtains slightly and slid to the floor.
Scorpius sighed as he turned his face into his pillow. He could smell that soft scent that was purely Lily. It was comforting, and really just encouraged the idea of not getting out of bed.
"Morning, Lil!"
That made him sit up. He pushed the curtains away completely, and saw that Mitch was getting out of bed, the others still asleep. Lily, who seemed to stop in their bathroom to fix her hair, smiled at Mitch.
"Morning," she greeted as she stepped out of the bathroom. She gave Scorpius a small wave. "See you at breakfast."
Scorpius gave a nod as she closed the door. He glanced at Mitch, who didn't say a thing as he began to dig through his clothes He gave a smirk. He could trust Mitch . . . but he didn't see a reason not to mess with his best friend.
"She looks great in those pajamas," Scorpius commented lightly.
Mitch looked at him. "Oh? I hadn't been paying attention."
"I think she looks better in my black shirt, though," Scorpius said casually.
"I thought she looked just fine in that one."
Scorpius raised his brow. "So you did notice what my girlfriend was wearing?"
He saw Mitch freeze, his shoulders tense. Then he whirled around, his eyes wide. "What? No! I would never!"
But Scorpius couldn't help but laugh. "It's ok. I trust you not to have a perverted thought about her."
Mitch placed his hand over his heart. "Thank Merlin," he chuckled. "I thought you were about to kill me."
Scorpius just sighed as he got out of bed. "It would take too long to train and break in a new best friend," he mocked before stepping into the bathroom.
"You would never love them as much as me!" Mitch called with a laugh.
Scorpius laughed too. "Probably not."
It was while walking to their first class later that morning that they had their first encounter with one of the school governors. They'd arrived last night, and everyone was still speculating on why they were at Hogwarts.
"Hello, students," one of the male governors greeted. Scorpius thought his name was Edwards or something.
"Hello," Scorpius and the other guys greeted politely, if not a bit hesitantly.
"You boys must be Slytherins?" the governor said, eyeing their ties.
"Yes, sir," they all mumbled.
The man looked directly at Scorpius. "And your name?"
"Scorpius Malfoy," he answered, his fingers tapping on the strap of his bag idly. This guy gave him an uneasy feeling, for a reason Scorpius wasn't sure of. It was just something about him, perhaps.
"Ah, yes! The seventh year prefect from Slytherin," the governor said with a smile. "My name is Brady Edwards."
Scorpius gave a nod, uncertain of what to say, or if he should say anything.
It was Justin who cleared his throat. "Well, sir, we should probably get to class," he excused.
"Just a moment, I have a question," Edwards said quickly, still looking at Scorpius. "Mr. Malfoy, would you say Hogwarts is a well-run educational establishment?"
Scorpius raised a brow. Was this guy attempting to sound smart? Why not just call it a school? "Um, yeah. I guess you could say that."
"If you had to pick its worst flaw, what would it be?" Edwards questioned.
Scorpius scowled, confused. What did this guy want from him? But not wanting to be rude, he tried to think. Worst flaw? Allowing James and Albus Potter to step foot inside, but Scorpius didn't think that was what the governor meant by flaw. "Well . . . I guess I would say the arrogance of Gryffindor House."
Rex scoffed. "You had to think about that? We all know that's Hogwarts's biggest issue."
But Edwards scowled. "What do you mean arrogance?"
Scorpius looked at him wearily. Had this man been a Gryffindor during his years at school? But he gave a shrug. "They're arrogant and conceited. Most of them, at least. They walk around as if they're saints, when all they do is mock and abuse those they don't like. Like Slytherin House."
"They can't see how they are more cruel and despicable than they claim us to be," Justin agreed. "They have become a disgrace at this school. At least in our eyes."
Scorpius brushed past the governor then, not really wanting to argue the point, or to be asked to explain further. He didn't want to discuss it at all. The very thought made anger boil in his stomach.
"I'm not sure I trust those governors," Lana mentioned at lunch that day. "Some of them seem ok, but some of the others . . . they ask the weirdest, and sometime dumbest, questions."
"And they seem like such random questions," Tanner agreed. "I had one ask me like a hundred questions about the headmaster while he was sitting in during my Herbology class. And they weren't even good questions."
"Something is definitely off about them being here," Scorpius agreed lightly. While he was curious as to why they were here, he had more things to worry about. It was N.E.W.T. year, they had Quidditch practices, and he preferred spending time with his girlfriend over worrying about the governors.
Not to mention that it was almost time for the first Hogsmeade visit!
"How long is he going to make us wait here?" Dominique complained with heavy annoyance.
Scorpius, Mitch, Dominique, and Lars were standing in an empty, and slightly dark, alleyway. They were waiting for Aaron to show up with the alcohol for their day, but couldn't risk being seen by any staff wandering around the village.
And Scorpius had to agree. Aaron was supposed to show up almost ten minutes ago! He was trying to keep from pacing by leaning against the wall to his left.
Mitch just chuckled as he rested his chin on Dominique's shoulder. "Relax. He should be here soon," he assured with a sigh of his own.
"If it's not about Quidditch, Aaron's never on time," Lars muttered, a little annoyed himself.
"Hey, kids, how's is going?" Aaron's loud voice startled them all, making them turn toward the entrance to the alley.
"You're late," Scorpius grumbled.
Aaron just shrugged. "Be grateful. I brought you some good stuff this time," he said as he held the bag out to Lars, who began to look through it as soon as he had it in his hands.
"You kept us waiting, so you better have," Dominique muttered.
Aaron rolled his eyes. "Hey, I'm a busy guy. One of you guys can do it for the others next year," he retorted.
But Scorpius turned away. He didn't want to talk about next year. It was all everyone in his year seemed to be talking about lately, but it was the last thing he wanted to think about. "The others are probably waiting. Let's go," he mumbled.
They said their goodbyes to Aaron, then quickly made their way toward the shack. But Mitch looked at Scorpius. "Something bothering you?"
Scorpius sighed. "I . . . I don't like thinking about graduating."
"Really? I can't wait!" Lars replied. "Not having to go to classes anymore . . . sounds fantastic," he said with a laugh.
"You don't have a girlfriend you'll be separated from for two years," Scorpius said dryly.
"Is that what you're so worried about?" Mitch questioned. Then he laughed. "I'm sure you and Lil could handle the distance."
"I always thought the same about Lana and Dante," Scorpius quipped.
Lars sighed. "My sister . . . unselfish and stupid at the same time," he muttered. "I get why she made her decision, but can't understand why she wouldn't fight for it."
"But Lil won't be put in that situation," Mitch pointed out. "So it's not like she'll end it with you."
"But what if she decides she can't handle the distance?" Scorpius argued as he kicked at the grass.
"You worry more than a girl!" Dominique exclaimed dryly. Scorpius glared at her, but she didn't even bother looking at him. "My cousin, for some strange reason, is crazy about you. Since you two started dating, she's never been happier. She's not so weak that she'll push away what makes her happy just because it's not with her every minute."
Scorpius looked away from her as they neared the shack. "I guess," he agreed quietly. But he still couldn't help but be a little worried. He pushed it away though. He didn't want to think about it. Especially not today, when it was supposed to be about relaxing and having fun.
Later that night, Scorpius and Lily sat outside, away from the others. He wasn't as drunk as Rex, or even Tanner, but he had a nice buzz going. It was cool outside, but comfortable as they laid on the grass, her head resting on his chest. He idly ran her fingers through her hair, its soft scent wafting around them.
"I like this," he whispered into the open air above them.
"I think I can agree with that," she replied softly.
He gave a small chuckle. "If this is what I'm to expect this year, I'm really gunna like seventh year." He'd meant it as a simple comment, but it made him think of his conversation with the others earlier. He sighed. Should he bring it up? "Lily, can I ask you a question that may seem . . . presumptuous?"
He felt her nod lightly. "Sure."
Scorpius worried if he should just play it off, act like it was nothing . . . but since he'd already brought it up… "Well . . . when I graduate, would you want to break up before going to school? Be unattached for the rest of your schooling?"
She didn't answer right away, and it made Scorpius tense a little internally. "You mean like Lana and Dante?" she asked.
He nodded. "Yeah. I sometimes wonder if my sister is happy with her decision. And when I see her with Justin, she seems ok." That was true. Even tonight, Lana looked happy and as if there wasn't something heavy on her mind or heart. As if she wasn't away from the guy she really loved. "But then I try to imagine you and me in that situation, and I hate the idea of you dating someone else."
He couldn't imagine it. He refused to imagine it. He'd dealt with Lily being with another guy for a whole year, and he refused to let it happen again. He didn't think he could handle it.
"I don't think I would want to, no," she murmured softly. "It would be hard, but I think I would rather deal with it than to risk losing you."
Her words lifted his spirits and relaxed him. "That's good, because I don't plan on letting you go any time soon."
She shifted, and soon was hovering over him with a smile on her lips. "Really? You mean it?"
Scorpius smirked. "Yeah."
She leaned forward, their lips a breath away. "Promise?" she whispered.
He gave a small hum. "I promise." His lips brushed hers with every syllable.
She giggled lightly. "I'll hold you to that." Then she closed the gap, placing her lips on his in a gentle kiss.
Scorpius responded happily, but when she began to pull away, he leaned up to follow her, not ready to part. She laughed again, but kissed him harder in return. But when she pulled away again, Scorpius let her, and fell back to the grass, a smile on his lips.
She kissed him once again quickly before moving back to let her head rest on his chest once again. Scorpius sighed, content and happy, as they laid there in the grass, nothing but the vast night sky, moon, and stars above them.
He wouldn't give this up, not for anything in the world. Nothing made him happier than this girl. Nothing warmed his heart like this. He loved it too much to let it go without a fight.
Scorpius froze in his thoughts at that moment . . . Love? Is that what this was? Was that what this feeling was?
The end of September came, and Scorpius was still plagued with questions. Love? Was that what he felt? He knew that saying he liked Lily was too weak. His feelings for her were beyond some childish crush. But . . . did that mean it was love? How did he know if it was love or not? Well . . . he only had one idea on how to figure it out.
"Do you love Dominique?" Scorpius asked Mitch. He knew that asking for advice from his friends probably wasn't the greatest, or even the smartest idea, but it was really all he had.
Mitch looked at him curiously with surprise, but then seemed to think about it. "Well . . . I often think that she's the only woman I could stand to marry. If you could call that love."
Lana rolled her eyes. "That's not love, you prick. That's you being an idiot."
Mitch stuck his tongue out at her. But then looked to Scorpius. "There's no one else I'd want to spend my life with than her. I've never found another girl that . . . intrigues me like she does. I don't know if that's traditional love, but it's what she and I have. And I could care less about tradition. I'm happy with what we have."
Scorpius looked to Lana. Part of him wanted to ask her, but she wasn't in the simplest situation when it came to her love life.
But Lana seemed to notice his hesitation. "Yes, I loved Dante." Scorpius raised a brow at her choice of words. She sighed. "Fine, I still love him. But people move on," she defended.
Scorpius let it go. "Ok. But how do you know? How do you know it's love?"
Lana seemed to think about it too. "When we're together . . . there's nowhere I'd rather be. Just seeing him smile makes me happy. And when he hurts, I hurt. I can't stand to see him sad or upset. When he's frustrated or angry, all I want to do is help him."
"Yet you broke up with him," Lars commented lightly.
"I'm not around him. I don't know if he's upset or angry," Lana quipped, although Scorpius could see her discomfort.
"So . . . that's what love is to you?" Scorpius asked.
"Exactly!" Lana said, looking at him seriously. "It's just what you said. That's what it is to me. Love could be different for you."
Scorpius took his turn to think about it now. "The thought of her being with another guy . . . it pisses me off, but tears at me too. Seeing her happy and smiling makes me happy. I worry about her when she seems uncomfortable or upset. She can place her hand on mine, and it's like my whole body warms up." He scowled as he tried to explain. "But . . . is this love?"
"Here is the ultimate question," Mitch interrupted as he strummed a few notes from his guitar. "Could you live without her?"
