AN: I'm really sorry that this took so long, but I've been busy and my beta has been busy and also I had trouble deciding whether the chapter should end where it does now or include one more scene. Finally decided to wait with the extra scene, but that means I already have the beginning of chapter six beta-read, so I'm pretty optimistic that I'll be able to post next chapter on time. Yep, forever optimistic :D

The chapter title is a song from the Swedish band Von Benzo. The lyrics are not an exact match, some parts are rather the opposite, but I do encourage you to listen to it anyway cause it's a nice song and some lines are perfect :)

Oh well, here is chapter five! Weighing up for the recent lack of Swan Queen interactions I hope. Enjoy!


Dazed and Confused

Lost. In this small shit town I had managed to get lost. Had I really been living here for a month and a half? Too much Netflix, dammit! This just wasn't happening. It couldn't be. I had never been in this situation before.

I blamed the persistent Irishman and his bad influence, but most of all myself for my ignorance. I should've known better. But realizing that now didn't help me one bit, did it? What should I do? I was sure that if I could just metabolize some of that alcohol everything would clear up. So, I just needed to rest for a few hours. But where? The sidewalk didn't exactly look tempting.

A car honked and I suddenly found myself in the middle of the road. Now that was interesting. And there was the mayor and she couldn't be here and I was clearly hallucinating.

I'll never ever ever drink with that...that pirate again!

With a content smile – satisfied with this decision – I tried to get back to the sidewalk, but wherever I turned was the brunette with her shampoo commercial hair and plum lipstick and agitated shouting and what was she saying exactly?

"Are you on drugs?!"

I shook my head confusedly. No, I wasn't on drugs. At least I didn't think so? I was just really drunk. And really tired. And really lost... And it was really the mayor, I realized. Fuck. I blinked repeatedly, not able to focus my gaze enough to determine which of the women before me who was the true one. Fuck fuck fuck. Why did these embarrassing encounters keep happening to me? This night was officially a disaster. About time to come to that conclusion, stupid!

"Then why are you stumbling about in the middle of the road, smiling at nothing?" the mayor questioned sternly, and I thought I heard a hint of sarcasm in her voice.

"Going...home?" I replied sheepishly, cursing inwardly at how the words came out slurred and wrong and-

"From where?" she continued her interrogation and glanced around at our surroundings.

"The docks."

"The docks?" she echoed skeptically, furrowing her brows."You're completely lost, aren't you?"

"No," I said evasively, not wanting to admit the embarrassing truth.

She gave me a knowing look, clearly not believing my answer. And why would she? The evidence were speaking against me. For one, I couldn't even stand without staggering. Reluctantly realizing that lying wasn't going to get me anywhere I cast down my eyes in defeat.

"I just wanna get home," I mumbled, and it came out a lot more helpless than I would've wanted it to.

There was an irritated sigh from the brunette and a bit of swaying from me, and then...

"Get in the car."

I looked up at the mayors, my eyes widened. I was getting a lift home? This nightmare was over? I wouldn't have to humiliate myself by sleeping on the ground? The many eyes gazing back at me all confirmed my hopeful guesses.

With a relieved smile and a breathy "thank you!" I turned around to locate her Benz, but the world kept spinning spinning spinning. Then there were suddenly hands steadying me, guiding me forward. She helped me fasten my seatbelt as well – being too impatient to wait while I struggled to accomplish the task myself – and it made me feel an awful lot like a child. A child. Memories of our conversation this – well, yesterday really – morning were brought back.

"How's your kid?" I asked in my politest of manners.

The brunette stilled halfway out of the car.

"He's fine," she stated bitterly and slammed the door shut.

What had I done wrong now? I had just tried to make conversation with her. Being friendly. But of course, how stupid of me. The mayor didn't do friendly. I sighed and laid my head back against the headrest, closing my eyes. So tired. My fretful chauffeur got into the driver's seat and the car's engine revved to life.

"If you throw up in my car I'm gonna flay you alive."

I was glad I had emptied my stomach earlier.

We drove in silence and I came to rest against the side window. It wasn't exactly comfortable but I didn't really care, it was better than the pavement. Much better. A voice then pierced through the haziness and I realized the car had stopped.

"If you don't mind, I would like to get home before dawn. Your apartment is right there."

I groaned, forcing my eyes open, and turned my head toward the mayor. There were still two of her, both pointing out the windshield, and indeed, finally a building I recognized! I clumsily searched for the doorhandle, fumbled. Stupid car!

"Do you need help with that?" sounded a condescending voice at my left.

"I know how to open a fucking door," I grumbled, locating the handle at last.

"I'm impressed."

Ignoring her comment I proceeded to climb outside, trying to do so with grace in an attempt to prove that I could very well take care of myself and did not need any more of her help and was in fact not that drunk after all.

No such luck.

I had to put my hands on the side of vehicle for balance and turned to face it, closing my eyes and wishing the world would just be still. I was craving to lie down and I was so close, so close... Almost there, I encouraged myself. My precious bed.

The car went silent and there was a bam from the mayor's door shortly followed by a slam from mine.

"I presume you need assistance to your door," I heard her say dryly and I reluctantly appreciated those firm hands that once again guided me. "I'm surprised you didn't fall into the sea."

Well, it had been a close call.

"What were you even doing down by the docks at this hour?"

"I'm an idiot," I muttered.

"Finally something we can agree on."

"I followed him home, to his boat," I continued regretfully, shaking my head at my heedless actions. "I shouldn't have..."

Her grip of me suddenly tightened, but probably not because of what I had said and more likely because I happened to stumble over the doorstep just then. A few moments later we came to a halt in front of the apartment building's leftmost entrance and I dug through my pockets for the keys.

"He didn't...hurt you, did he?" the mayor asked, almost hesitantly, and I wondered if I was just imagining things or if she actually seemed worried about me.

"What do you care?" I questioned, attempting to fit what I was certain to be the right key in the lock and failing miserably. Stupid key!

"Of course I care!" she exclaimed, clearly offended. "I can't have some rapist running loose in my town!"

Oh, so it had nothing to do with me then, it was all about her. She was just looking out for her town, just as she probably had been doing when she picked me up and brought me home. "I can't have some drunk stumbling around on my streets!" Yeah, I could almost hear her say it. Bitch.

"And I certainly can't have him working for me," the woman beside me continued, still upset. "If he harmed you in any way I'll have him terminated faster than a cat lapping chain lightning."

Faster than a what now? Too advanced language for my fuzzy brain.

"Well, he didn't," I said, resigned.

My hand was still hovering in front of the lock and I squinted my eyes, trying really hard to focus. Suddenly her hand was over mine and the key magically fitted, indeed being the right one. Within a few seconds the mayor had opened the door and shoved me inside, and that was when her words sank in.

"Wait," I said, frowning.

She stilled and let the door close behind her.

"I never said who it was," I pointed out.

She gave me a patronizing smirk.

"There's only one man in this town mad enough to live on a boat," she explained, and continued without even trying to hide her disdain. "And I do mean to criticize your choice of partner. Killian Jones? Really? One might think you're desperate."

Right, that was his name. Perhaps it was time I made some things clear.

"I did not sleep with him. God. What do you think of me?"

"Right now I'm not quite sure what to think of you," she replied dryly.

She had a point.

"Which floor do you live on?" she asked, changing the subject and appearing impatient.

"Second," I said and pointed toward the narrow and tarnished elevator door diagonally in front of us. "The elevator is kinda gross but it actually works half the time."

"We'll take the stairs," the mayor decided with a disgusted look on her face, grabbing my arm and brusquely dragging me along.

"O-kay," I agreed – not really having a choice – and stumbled after her, kind of missing those gentler hands from before.

Climbing the stairs was a challenge and I wouldn't have managed it without help. Well, unless I had crawled, that could've worked. I clung tightly to the other woman's arm when we finally arrived at my door, all tooaware it was the only thing protecting me from falling back down the stony stairs. The mayor unlocked my door – apparently she still had my keys – and then gently pushed me inside, turning me so that we were facing each other. Looking me in the eyes she put the keys in my hand and clasped it shut with her own ones.

"Water, bathroom, bed," she ordinated, squeezing my hand for each word.

I nodded obediently – a little confused by this unexpected helpful side of her – and suddenly felt very grateful. Again. In fact, I felt so grateful that I somehow dropped my keys and fell into an ungraceful hug with her while exclaiming just how grateful I was. She stiffened and didn't exactly reciprocate the hug, just patted my back awkwardly before firmly pushing me away from herself again.

"That's enough. Goodnight, Miss Swan. Don't make me do this again."

With that she left and I grabbed onto the doorframe, keeping myself upright in the doorway and watching her descend the stairs. She glanced up at me once, right before disappearing out of sight, and I wondered what exactly she had meant with those last words. Don't make her pick me up drunk and lost again, or don't make her hug me again? Or don't make her do...any of that?

Too exhausted to think anymore, I closed the door and retreated into the hallway. With some struggle I succeeded to follow the mayor's orders and then finally got to lie down. Everything was still spinning but it no longer mattered. I was home. I was safe. My bed had never been more comfortable.


The next morning – well, noon really – I woke up with a splitting headache and a desert in my mouth. My stomach was aching too and I was still quite nauseous. A night of heavy drinking always came with a price, and I sure had been drinking a lot yesterday. I had tried to forget certain things and forgotten I had did, just not the parts I had wanted to. Because of that I was now not only fired, but also terribly hungover and last night was a blurry mess. How fucking brilliant.

Seriously, what had I been thinking? Not much, apparently. But there had been a boat, I remembered that much. Had I been on it? I didn't think so. I also had vague memories of throwing up, but nothing after that. How had I even managed to get home? I sighed and closed my still tired eyes. Perhaps it would come back to me in a while.

A couple of hours later I woke up again, feeling a rather urgent need to pee. I reluctantly got out of bed and went to the bathroom. This day needed to go away.

But I knew it wouldn't, so I thought I might as well try to make the best of it. Swallowing down a couple of aspirins with a glass of water seemed like a good start, so I did that, and then I searched the kitchen for something edible. The only thing I found that didn't needed to be cooked – I really didn't feel like cooking right now – was a bruised banana, and the mere smell of it made my stomach revolt. I seriously needed to learn to plan ahead and stop procrastinating my grocery shopping.

With a sigh I closed the almost empty fridge and decided to pay a visit to Granny's Diner, since it was the closest place that served food. I would have to deal with the grocery store later, because I wanted to make a good and inclusive shopping list and was in no state to do that right now.

After a glance in the mirror I decided that I at least needed to take a shower before heading out, and putting some new makeup on was probably advised. It would be unfortunate if, let's say, the mayor saw me like this, because I knew she would put two and two together. Giving her the satisfaction of seeing just how badly I had taken getting fired was the last thing I wanted to do.

When I was dressed and ready to go I picked up my keys from the hallway floor. There were suddenly memories returning to me. I recalled having trouble with the lock the night before and someone else's hand over mine. There had been someone with me at my door. And a hug? The name Killian Jones also popped up in my head and I tried to connect it with a person.

Right, the irksome Irishman whom I got drunk with. But was it him that had helped me home? Had he...? Had we...? No, that couldn't be, I couldn't have been that drunk. I would've needed to be practically unconscious for anything to happen between me and a guy. But then again, I didn't remember much. What if he had taken advantage of me? It was possible. Or was it?

I tried the door, and it wasn't locked. Gulp. But I had woken up still in my underwear, so I shouldn't be worried. Right? And for some reason I got the feeling it hadn't been any guy at all, because as I remembered it, their voice had been female.

With sudden clarity I checked the call history of my phone for clues, but I had neither made nor received any calls yesterday. Sighing and shaking my head I left my apartment, not able to fully disregard my worries.

Walking to the diner didn't take me long and I was rounding the last corner, almost declaring my walk mayor-free, when I spotted her right outside of my destination. My already bad mood instantly dropped even further. Of course, I thought, glad that I had taken precaution and decided to freshen up. I guessed I was, actually, starting to get accustomed to this curse of mine.

And the mayor, well, she was leaving, so I wouldn't have to share space with her during my meal. Good. I braced myself for the moment we would pass each other on the sidewalk, dark thoughts gathering in my mind. War.

"Good to see you're feeling better, Miss Swan," she said and I forgot all about wars and curses.

What?

My surprise rendered me speechless and I slowed down my pace, watching silently as she strutted past me in her usual dignified way. Better how exactly? Had she referred to my reaction when she fired me? It seemed unlikely, considering how much she had appeared to enjoy that very part. Her comment today hadn't been mocking, just simple, plain, and just as unreadable as her face.

I approached the diner with my mind racing, frantically searching for an explanation. I had expected her to acknowledge my existence at most, and I had expected it to be with that usual hint of annoyance she didn't bother to mask. But this? My heart rate quickened as a possibility struck me. No way. She hadn't. She just hadn't. It must've been somebody else. Somebody...

Doing everything in my power to determine exactly what had happened last night I tore the haziness apart, put it together again, looked over under through, tried to bend it with my will, but... All I got were more glimpses of the scenario I didn't want to believe.

It hadn't been somebody else.

I groaned audibly, already missing the bliss of amnesia, and stopped right outside the diner. Fired, terribly hungover, and extremely humiliated, I updated my mental note from earlier. How fucking even more brilliant! Why had she even been out at that hour? It didn't make sense.

My thoughts returned to that awkward hug we had shared, and ugh, this was all really embarrassing. But, it was also a relief, cause I knew I had gotten home safe and sound and that nobody had taken advantage of me. The mayor had acted like a decent human being for once, and actually done something nice for another person. For me.

I turned my head toward her disappearing form and bore my eyes into the back of her head. Did this mean we were even? I let my gaze trail downwards, observing how snugly her coat fit her figure, enhanced it, defined her waistline, and... I was momentarily distracted by the swaying of her hips.

Don't even think about it! I admonished myself, quickly averting my gaze. This was certainly not a convenient time for inappropriate thoughts, since I had just ruined every chance I never had with her. And why did I even care? I didn't care.

The war was still on.