AN: First, I want to thank everyone for their nice reviews! It always makes me more motivated to write :)

To the guest who was complaining, if you're still around to read this, I'll let you know I didn't find your criticism particularly constructive. It's perfectly fine to not like my story but I prefer concrete suggestions of how I can improve it instead of just plain complaining. Nuff said!

On another note, the chapters keep getting longer! :o And no, this is not a crossover, but Mr Gold has another role in this story and this came to mind...keep reading to find out what xD


Wonderland

"So, this is my pack!"

I had met up with Ruby outside Granny's to walk to The Rabbit Hole together, and once there she had quickly located her friends.

"Well, most of it anyway," she added with an eye roll. "Emma, this is Lacey, Belle and Margaret."

We exchanged hellos and my gaze flickered between the two first young women, so identical the only way I could tell them apart was by their different outfits. The one in a short sparkly dress, Lacey, eyed me closely as I got squeezed in between Ruby and I-had-already-forgotten-her-name – since I had been more focused on the clones.

"Don't I know you from somewhere?"

I squinted my eyes slightly at the brunette and her twin, trying to recognize their appearance. Nope, didn't ring a bell. Heh, bell...

"I don't think so?" I said with a frown.

"Yes, you were here last Friday!" she suddenly recalled. "With the Irishman, Killian."

Gulp. That explained why she remembered me but I didn't remember her, cause I hadn't been particularly observant that night. I didn't like where this was going. Putting that night behind me seemed to be more difficult than I had first anticipated.

"Do you know him?" I questioned, hoping she wouldn't.

"Not really," she replied. "But I work here quite a lot and he's a frequent visitor."

That didn't surprise me one bit. I sent up a silent prayer that he would at least not be around tonight.

"Wait, he's the pirate?" Ruby interjected.

The others looked curiously at us and I gave a forced smile.

"He's the pirate," I confirmed, a bit reluctant.

The look on Ruby's face changed into a mischievous one.

"Did you get to see his boat?" she asked suggestively.

I cringed at her implication. Quite presumptuous now, wasn't she? I could absolutely not let them get the wrong idea, that would be devastating for my gay agenda – yes, obviously I had one – and I also didn't want to get associated with him. Not in any way really, if I could've prevented it, but it was already too late for that so I might as well tell them the truth. After all, nothing had happened.

"Oh, I did," I stated with a meaningful look, "from the outside. Sorry to disappoint you but...nothing happened. I don't do guys."

It took only a moment before Ruby's eyes lit up in amused realization.

"I knew it wasn't really a joke!" she said, pointing at me in mock accusation.

I smirked at her, knowing exactly what she was referring to, and tried to read any signs to what she was thinking about it.

"Maybe," I teased and she let out a small laugh.

"Pity Mei Lan isn't here," she then said and sighed. "She would've been thrilled to know she's not the only gay in the village anymore."

The only...? Like, literally? Surely there must be others, or were they all conveniently closeted just because I needed them not to be? I tried not to look disappointed. So much for being optimistic.

"Mei Lan is, like, never here," Lacey pointed out, not seeming too happy about it. "That healthy bastard is doing some detox thing again and wouldn't even come for the sake of being social."

"What about Aurora? I thought she was actually coming tonight?"

It was Belle who wondered and I noticed that her tone was gentler than her twin's. The woman to my right – whom I still didn't remember the name of – suddenly spoke up.

"She said she was too tired," she informed and I turned my head to take a closer look at her.

She had a sympathetic look on her doll-like face, which was framed with a short raven pixie haircut.

"She's always too tired!" Lacey complained. "Those two are so boring..."

"Well, she's been working a lot of double shifts at the hospital lately, so I think she's excused," Pixie Hair countered, earning a mutter in response from the disgruntled twin.

"Hey, how about I get us something to drink?" Ruby suggested and turned toward me. "What do you want?"

The question was directed to me only since the others already had more or less half full glasses in front of them.

"Uh... Anything that isn't rum?"

Ruby raised her brows inquisitively and I offered a sheepish smile.

"Bad...associations..."

After Ruby returned with our beverages we proceeded to tell stories and share experiences. The topic eventually changed into current love interests and since I didn't have a lot to tell about that I mostly sat quietly and listened. The twins quickly began bantering about some librarian.

"And he's British..." Belle said with dreamy eyes, having gotten more talkative after a few drinks.

"But he's also like ten times older than you!" Lacey asserted and burst out into unrestrained laughter, earning a glare from her sister.

"Your math skills are highly questionable. I'm surprised they let you handle money at all at work."

Lacey huffed in response to the retort but quieted significantly.

"Besides, age doesn't matter," Belle continued seriously. "I know for a fact he isn't married but I think he might have someone in his life, cause he keeps smiling in a certain way when he reads some of his texts."

This had her twin laughing hard again.

"Mr Grandpa knows how to use a cell phone?!" she said, feigning shock. "Is it from this century even?"

Everyone joined in on the laughter this time, much to Belle's annoyance.

"It's Mr Giles..."

"I know, Belle, I'm sorry," Pixie Hair said with an apologetic pat on her friend's arm. "But it was kind of funny..."

"Yeah, and seriously, Sis, what are you? His stalker?"

Belle looked offended.

"I both work and study there, it's a bit difficult not to notice!" she replied defensively.

Everyone – except perhaps Lacey – agreed that this was a fairly acceptable excuse and a little while later it was Margaret's turn to be grilled instead. Someone had eventually addressed Pixie Hair with her actual name and reminded me of it.

"Okay, so he volunteers at the animal shelter, he's really handsome, and kind, but I haven't exactly dared to speak much with him yet," she revealed, appearing self-conscious. "Only a couple of times when he's been the one to initiate it."

"You won't get to know him if you don't talk to him," Ruby pointed out to her shy friend. "Just say hi and talk about birds or something. You know a lot about birds, right?"

Margaret nodded, not looking convinced, and Ruby reached behind my back to rub her shoulder reassuringly.

"We'll work it out," she promised, and the pixie haired woman gave a small appreciative smile.

"Is this high school or what? You're almost thirty, just go talk to the guy!"

Lacey again, and though I tried not to judge her too quickly she did seem a bit rude and unsupportive at times. Apparently the others thought so too this time, because everyone glared at her until she yielded.

"Well, I guess we all have our issues..."

The table got somewhat quiet for a while, glasses almost empty, and I took a moment to just take in the situation. That comment about someone being 'the only gay in the village' hadn't been exceptionally encouraging and these girls were clearly into guys, but it wasn't that big of a deal, really. Actually, it was pretty nice to finally have some people to just hang out with. I had never had a lot of friends, never really belonged to a crowd, and these people had accepted me as a part of their group just like that. Not only accepted me, but done so gladly.

"Well, that's enough with the chit chat!" Lacey suddenly declared and smacked her palm against the table. "Don't you think?"

"Yeah, let's go dance!" Ruby agreed.

Said and done, Ruby took the lead as we gathered ourselves and left the bar. We didn't walk very far, though, just around the corner, and muffled disco music gave me an idea of where we were headed. A grand neon sign above the entrance informed me that the place was called Wonderland and under the main sign was a smaller one that said 'We're all mad here'. I could sense a theme.

"They have the same owner," Lacey told me as if reading my thoughts. "I work here too, sometimes."

Well, that explained it, then.

"Don't get lost and stay off the magic mushrooms," the twin added with a wink before we entered the club and its loud music made talking more of a shouting business.

I silently wondered if this was just a joke about the fairy tale or if there was something more to it, but I didn't have time to ponder since Ruby immediately dragged me onto the dance floor.

"Are you having fun?" she yelled into my ear.

"Yeah, I'm alright!"

"I'll make sure to introduce you to Mei Lan later, she's awesome!"

I grinned and shook my head at the brunette, looking forward to that meeting.

"You're awesome!"


No hangover, no lost memories, and no drunken encounter with the mayor. Well done, self! Only the Easter Buffet at Granny's left to attend to and then the weekend could be deemed a complete success. Well, maybe not complete success, there was still that little problem with my sexual frustration. Easier to deal with now that I had that promise from Ruby, though, so today I was just going to enjoy some good food.

When I left for the diner I almost forgot to bring the waitress's jacket with me, remembering it just before closing the door to my apartment. The reason I had it, well, I would need to go back to yesterday to explain it.

We had split up after a while, Ruby and Lacey apparently going boy hunting and the other two disappearing into the crowd. Ending up at the bar counter I had tried to hit on approachable girls, only to get rejections and threesome suggestions in return. But hey, kudos for trying, right?

Then Ruby had showed up and asked if I could keep an eye on her jacket, claiming she was being exposed to 'too much hotness', and "sure" I had accepted. Some time later Margaret and Belle had come by to tell me they were going home, and I had decided it was probably time for me to do the same. Finding Ruby had proved to be trickier than expected, though, cause when I bumped into – a fairly drunk – Lacey she told me the other brunette had 'left with some guy'.

"But...doesn't she need her jacket?" I had questioned, a bit concerned. "Her wallet is in here. Do you know this guy she left with?"

"She's been with him before...I think... But don't worry! She has her phone. I'm sure she'll be fine."

I had sent Ruby a text, telling that her belongings were safe and asking if she was, as well. Her reply had come this morning, apologetic and relieved, and she had stated that of course she was safe, punctuating with a winking smiley. Whatever she had now been insinuating with that, I had an idea or two.

So here I was now, maneuvering my way through the crowded diner, with my eyes set on the waitress and my lips curled upwards in a knowing smirk.

"Emma! My jacket!"

She hurried over and surprised me with a quick hug and a peck on the cheek.

"Thank you so much for looking after my stuff!"

"You're welcome," I said, a little stunned by her unanticipated actions.

Surely I had expected her to be happy to see me, and it wasn't that I minded, not at all. I just wasn't used to this kind of treatment from any other person than my mom.

"I'm sorry I just left yesterday," Ruby apologized, looking abashed. "Not exactly the impression of me I wanted to give you."

"Don't worry about it," I waved it off. "The important thing is that we both had a good time. Cause you had a good time, right?"

Her cheeks reddened, almost matching the crimson highlights in her hair, and she gave a small smile.

"Yeah..." was the only thing she offered.

Since I would gladly be without the details, I didn't probe. A sudden flicker of her gaze then caught my attention.

"See something interesting behind my back?" I questioned jokingly and wiggled my eyebrows once. "Or someone?"

"Just...the mayor," she said with a frown, keeping her voice down. "She keeps staring at us and I swear, I was at her table not five minutes ago! That woman is..."

The devil disguised as a goddess?

"Staring? Like, right now?" I inquired, not giving her time to finish her sentence.

Ruby discreetly glanced over my shoulder again and gave an affirmative "uh-huh". I couldn't resist the temptation to turn around, and I did it swiftly enough to catch the mayor averting her gaze. A wicked smile entered my features. She was seated by one of the windows, now promptly looking down at her plate, and was this not the perfect opportunity for round two of my revenge? The diner was rather noisy but I didn't need her to have heard me and Ruby, I just needed her to have seen.

I turned back toward the waitress with a smug expression on my face.

"What is it?" she asked, looking equal parts confused and curious.

"Food!" I demanded, serious at an instant. "I need food, preferably ten minutes ago!"

She gave me an odd look but guided me to a stack of plates, gesturing for me to take one.

"Help yourself," she said, presenting a great amount of appetizing buffet items.

Aware that she had other customers to attend to she began to turn away, but then she stilled and narrowed her eyes at me.

"You will tell me about this later," she decided, her voice determined.

"Later," I promised.

Much much later.

Keeping an eye on the mayor, so that she wouldn't leave without me noticing, I filled my plate with all kinds of tasty dishes. I decided that I would have to come back for a refill at least once, cause there were too many things I wanted to try. When I was satisfied with my first portion I glanced around to determine the availability of vacant seats, feeling content when I couldn't spot any except from at the mayor's table. Not without reason, I figured, and walked over to her.

"Can I sit here?" I asked casually, earning a disbelieving look, but before she had time to answer I leaned a little closer and lowered my voice. "Or are you going to criticize my choice of partner again?"

"Not in front of my son!" she hissed, just as my gaze fell upon him.

My attempt to toy with her came to an abrupt stop. I had been too busy focusing on the mayor to notice her company.

"Your...son," I managed, amazed by this smaller version of her.

They did look alike, although his skin tone was paler and his eyes and hair not quite as dark as his mother's. Sure, I had seen that photograph of him in her office multiple times but I hadn't exactly studied it in detail.

"Who are you?" he asked curiously, greenish hazel eyes expectantly looking up at me.

"No one you need to worry about," the mayor quickly assured him, before I even had the time to think of how to introduce myself.

I raised my brows incredulously at her. Worry about me? Please, he was just curious, like most nine-year-olds probably would've been if a stranger asked to sit by their table.

"I'm Emma, and I work for your mother," I settled on telling him. "Who are you?"

I was careful not to look at the mayor and felt, rather than saw, her burning glare at me. Was this really her default mood? Even outside of work, on a holiday? And what about that I'm-a-politician-and-cool-as-a-cucumber facade? Maybe I just brought out the worst in her.

"My name is Henry," the kid replied, and while he did I nonchalantly placed my plate at the table and sat down next to him.

"Miss Swan, I never said-"

"Well, there's nowhere else to sit," I declared, a hint of challenge in my eyes as they darted up to meet hers.

She pursed her lips, expression obscure, and scrutinized me with her gaze for a moment.

"Is that so?" she questioned then, not seeming fully convinced.

"You calling me a liar?"

I prepared for the retort I was sure to come, but it never did. Instead, her gaze flickered to the boy beside me and I figured his presence must be the reason she wasn't halfway through an insult already. For him, it seemed, she was suddenly making a great effort to mask her irritation and be on her best behaviour. A smile that didn't reach her eyes appeared on her face.

"Of course not," she replied in a honeyed voice and purposely turned toward her child. "Henry, are you ready to go?"

His plate was pretty much empty but hers wasn't, and I found her eagerness to leave rather amusing. And, honestly, quite surprising. If I hadn't known any better I would've said she seemed scared of me, which, of course, was ridiculous and obviously not the case.

"Nope," the kid declared and got out of his seat, grinning mischievously as if he knew very well that he was ruining his mother's escape plan. "I'm gonna go get some more!"

The mayor's smile faltered for a moment and in spite of myself I almost felt a bit sorry for her. She was basically stuck here with me – her absolute favourite person on Earth, I was sure – until her son decided he was finished. The fact that he was around was actually proving to be advantageous for me.

It was a good thing that he now was out of earshot, though, because some things were meant for adult ears only. More specifically, in this case, the ears of the woman currently sitting diagonally in front of me, chewing on a piece of roasted lamb while demonstratively avoiding eye contact. My blatant staring wasn't making things any less awkward but I was fascinated by her ability to somehow make even chewing dead animal parts look sexy.

"About Ruby..." I said then, trying to take control again by breaking the silence and picking up where I had been interrupted earlier.

She stilled momentarily before slowly turning her head toward me and swallowing down her current bite. I couldn't quite read her expression but she kept holding my gaze, so I gathered she wasn't totally uninterested.

"Well, you can rest assured," I said in mock consolation. "I didn't sleep with her either."

The mayor looked affronted, her jaw slightly dropped.

"It is none of my concern whom you are sleeping with or not!" she vehemently asserted, wrinkling her nose as if the mere thought was repulsive.

"Really? Because that's not the impression I got the other week," I pointed out with my brows raised meaningfully. "And was it really necessary to give Killian such a hard time about it? That dimwit didn't even get the message. Not that I enlightened him of it."

"What?"

To my satisfaction I noticed a slight blush creeping up her neck. It could be for a million of reasons, of course, but she was blushing. My tactics were working.

"Did you think I wouldn't remember?" I questioned, smug smile evident on my lips. "And that he wouldn't even mention it to me?"

She tensed her jaw but didn't say anything, which I could only interpret as confirmation that my assumptions were correct.

"Oh, right," I pretended to recall, a slight bitterness entering my voice. "I wasn't supposed to come back."

The mayor gave an unimpressed huff, her eyes darkening, and there was the woman I knew...

"Why are you really here, Miss Swan?" she wanted to know, seemingly trying to regain control over the situation.

I frowned at the strange question, thinking it should be pretty obvious.

"Well, why do you think I'm here?"

The look I received made it clear she wasn't going to answer and I did a slight eye roll. Fine then, Madame Mayor.

"Why most people are here, I guess? For the food?"

"I meant here at my table!" she snapped, looking at me like I was a complete idiot.

Well, it wasn't my fault she had failed to include that particular detail. And, frankly, it was still a stupid question.

"I already told you," I calmly replied. "In case you haven't noticed, this place is crammed. There's nowhere else to sit."

Her gaze suspiciously drifted out over the ocean of faces in the diner, noting that my words were indeed true and that her son was finally returning.

"Very well, then," she reluctantly declared. "You're allowed to stay as long as you can act civilized around my son."

I had to stop myself from laughing at her. Allowed to stay? Who did she think she was? Right, the mayor, I reminded myself. But still. It wasn't like she owned this place.

"I think I'll manage," I said, not without jest, and earned a warning look from her as to remind me of what I had just agreed to.

We proceeded to mostly ignore each other during the rest of the meal and I attempted to focus solely on Henry instead. He proved to be a funny little guy, witty, and rather clever for his age. I recognized a hint of sassiness, that most certainly originated from his mother, but all in all he seemed like a good kid. Either he was raised mostly by his father, or the Evil Queen's parental skills greatly exceeded my expectations.

Despite my decision to ignore her, my gaze constantly found its way to the mayor. She was – aside from being painfully good-looking and silently planning my murder – right in my line of sight every time I looked up from Henry.

The boy finished his plate too quickly for my liking, I would gladly have chatted with him for a while longer, but considering all the – unintentional, very unintentional – glances I was failing to keep from his mother it was probably for the best. Not that he seemed to be aware of them, which was good since I had masked every one of them with a look of resentment. I couldn't have her thinking I was attracted to her or anything, now could I? She would use it against me, no doubt.

Those resentful looks were starting to feel a bit inconvenient, though, because it wasn't like I actually hated her. If I had I would definitely have chosen to sit elsewhere, overfull diner or not. There were very few people on this earth whom I truly hated, but they all had one thing in common: they weren't worthy of my attention. They weren't worthy of my time, my revenge, or my resentment. They were nothing. Evidentially, the mayor wasn't one of those people, cause she sure hell was something.

I was enjoying my payback, I really was. It had lessened my anger toward her and restored some of the balance between us, even though there had never really been a balance to begin with since I had made a fool out of myself from day one. But the fact that she hadn't struck back yet made me wonder if perhaps it was time to take a break from this war thing. I wasn't one to antagonize others just for fun, I needed weighty reasons to do so, and right now the mayor wasn't exactly giving me any. It seemed unlikely that she didn't want to fight back, so I figured she had yet to find out a way how to. Until she did, well... Ceasefire?

Embracing my newest decision – and proving my ability to be civilized – I offered both my supposed dining pals a polite smile as they stood.

"Happy Easter, you two!" I said, earning a sunny smile from Henry and total indifference from the mayor.

"Happy Easter, Emma, it was nice to meet you!"

"It was nice to meet you too, Henry," I said earnestly.

"Goodbye, Swan," the mayor said plainly, without even looking at me.

She put her hand behind her son's back and almost shoved him toward the exit, because it really was that terrible for her to be in my presence. Right?

"Goodbye, Mills," I replied equally plainly, not sure if she would hear me since she was already halfway to the door.

Maybe she did hear, because just before following Henry through the exit she shot me one final glance. It lasted merely a second but felt familiar somehow, although I couldn't quite place it. Then she was gone.