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Lorelai picked up the ringing phone and walked over to the glass door in their hotel room that opened up to the balcony. She opened the door and stepped out onto the balcony, making sure to be quiet as she shut the door behind her. She took a deep breath and leaned against the wall before holding the phone up to her ear and answering.
"Hey," she greeted tentatively.
She could hear the surprise in his voice when he said her name, "Lorelai."
"Well that is whose number you dialed," Lorelai replied. "So tell me caller, what can I help you with on this lovely evening?"
"What's going on Lorelai?" Luke practically growled into his end of the phone-line.
Lorelai could tell by the tone of his voice that he wasn't in the mood for one of her games. "So I guess that you've heard."
"You mean that my fiancée went out of town without telling me?" Luke asked, an angry tone clipped his voice. "Yeah, I heard. Let's see I had to hear from Michel that you took a few days from the Inn. And then I had to hear from Babette that you and Rory went on a trip."
Lorelai sighed. "Yeah, that's pretty much all of it. Seems like you're all caught up. What are you calling me for?"
"Lorelai," Luke said in a warning tone.
"What do you want me to say Luke?" Lorelai snapped. "Yes, I took a few days off from the Inn and yes Rory and I went on a trip."
"And you just didn't think to call me and tell me that you were going out of town?" Luke questioned, the anger still seeping into his voice.
Lorelai pushed away from the wall and walked over to the railing off the balcony, she leaned on it and took in the sights of the city below. "Hmm that must have slipped my mind."
"This is not a game Lorelai," Luke snapped. "Where the hell are you?"
"I told you that already. Rory and I took a trip. We're out of town."
"That's it? That's all you're going to say? I've been worried all day about you."
"Well there is no need for worries Luke. Rory and I are both fine. We just decided to take a little trip, a little mother daughter time," Lorelai replied as she tried to keep her cool while it seemed that Luke wanted to do nothing but yell at her. "We're fine," she stressed. Physically, yes she was fine, but emotionally, no she was not fine at all.
"What is this to you? You decide to go on a trip and you don't call your fiancé?" Luke questioned.
Lorelai scoffed, "Wow, excellent choice of words there."
"What is that supposed to be mean?" Luke grumpled.
"Seriously do you remember nothing that has gone on for the past few months? Do you remember nothing from our talk last night?" Lorelai shot back. "And here I am using the term talk very loosely, just so you know."
Luke let out a harsh breath. "Is that why you didn't bother to tell me about you and Rory going on a trip?" he asked. "Because I didn't tell you about April right away? We already talked about that. I apologized for not telling you right away."
"God Luke, I may have the appetite of a small child and still wear Hello Kitty underwear at times but I'm not that immature. I didn't keep a secret from you because you kept one from me," Lorelai sneered. "I meant everything that has happened since you chose not to tell me about April when you found out. Since you were the one that said we needed to be honest with one another and then turned right around and started keeping something from me. Start there and work your way to where we are and maybe you can understand why I needed to get away. I didn't tell you because I just couldn't talk to you."
Lorelai swiped at the angry tears that ran down her face while she waited for him to have some semblance of a reply. But as usual, in times like these, he was quiet. She understood that this was his nature, he was monosyllabic at times, needed time to process things, wasn't very good with words, but she needed him to say something at least. She didn't need the quiet, she hated the quiet. There were times when quietness was appreciated and even welcomed but this was not one of those times.
"Luke, please say something," Lorelai pleaded.
Lorelai could almost see him sitting there on the couch in his apartment hunched over with that look on his face like he wanted to say something but didn't know how to articulate his feelings. She held her breath when she heard him take a deep breath then begin to speak.
"I'm sorry that I didn't tell you about April right away. You're right, I should have told you when I found out," Luke replied. "There is just a lot going on right now, I need time."
The breath that she had been holding was let out in a loud, angry huff. "Oh my gosh, this again," Lorelai screeched. "Time this, time that, that's all you say Luke. You don't even listen to me. That word is about to lose all of it's meaning to me. How much time do you need? And if there is a lot going on right then what, is it too much and you're going to break up with me again? You do have a track record."
"What? No, of course not," Luke stammered. "You know that I love you Lorelai."
Lorelai sniffled. "Well it's certainly not how I feel at the moment."
"I do, Lorelai," Luke said, his voice now softened. "I love you so much. I never wanted to make you doubt that."
"Then please just hear me out Luke," Lorelai replied. "Just let me get this out and please don't say anything else about you needing time. You've said that enough. Just listen."
Lorelai pushed away from the railing and began to pace around the small balcony. She took Luke's silence as confirmation that he was going to listen while she talked.
Lorelai took a deep breath before speaking. "When you didn't tell me about April, I thought it was because you didn't trust me. And then you kept me away, I couldn't even be in the diner when April was there yet everyone in town was there. You have no idea how much that hurt me, how I felt that you didn't even trust me enough to be around your daughter. I know you wanted your time and I was patient and I gave you that time. I was very patient. And we both know that I am not a very patient person at all, but I was patient for you. But you just kept pushing me away. I felt like you didn't want me around. We're engaged, we're supposed to be partners Luke. Maybe I should have said something sooner but I didn't. I am saying it now though."
"I'm sorry," Luke apologized. "I'm not sure what else to say right now besides I'm sorry."
"Well it's a start, a very small start," Lorelai replied in a small voice.
"Come home," Luke urged. "Just please come home Lorelai."
"No," Lorelai replied defiantly.
"No?" Luke parroted back. He sighed. "Lorelai, please come home. We'll talk. We can work through this, I know that."
"I'm not coming home right now. Rory and I are on this trip. We're spending time together. So no, I'm not coming home right now. You said you wanted time with April well now I need some time."
"Time for what?" Luke asked.
"To think," Lorelai replied simply. "To think if can do this anymore without you letting me in. I'm not going to allow myself to be treated like this anymore. I'm not that girl. I love you. I want to be a part of your life with April. I want to get to know her. From what I know, she seems like an amazing kid. I understand things are complicated with Anna but we're still partners Luke. That means we're supposed to deal with things together. I love you and I want to be with you but I am so tired of hurting," she sniffled. "So I'm taking a little time for myself. I'll be home in a few days."
"Lorelai."
"I have to go," Lorelai interrupted. "We'll talk later."
Without waiting for a response, Lorelai hung up the phone and headed back into her hotel room. She switched her phone off and dropped it onto the nightstand before she climbed into bed and tried to fall asleep. As least, she thought, she had the piece of mind of telling Luke how she felt and what she wanted. Now she just had to see if anything she just shared with him mattered enough for something to change.
'To meddle or not to meddle?' was the question on Emily Gilmore's mind as she sat in her parked car outside of Luke's diner. She was sure that after the events of the past couple of days that she was actually bonding with Lorelai. But stepping foot into the diner to have a little discussion with the man that was causing her daughter so much heartache could very well damage the bond that was slowly but surely forming. Still as mother she felt the need to protect her daughter and to make sure that her daughter was happy, it was all that any parent wanted for their child. If that meant trying to make Luke see what he was going to lose if he kept going on like this then so be it, she would meddle. Someone needed to reach out to this man.
With a determined gait in her step, Emily stepped out of the car and headed towards the diner. Despite the time of day, there was only one patron in the diner as she entered; a person of whom she recognized as the strange young man who stood with his face pressed up against the glass last time she came to speak with Luke. She registered the look of shock on Luke's face that quickly hardened as she approached the counter.
The last person that Luke expected to see in his diner today was Emily Gilmore. Honestly, he was expecting much of a crowd today since he was the only cook in the diner and everyone knew that whenever he fought with Lorelai his food suffered. After his talk with Lorelai the night before, he wasn't planning on opening up the diner today but he decided that it was better to go ahead and open the diner and deal with the few customers that would stop by than sit all alone in his apartment with only the beer in his fridge and his thoughts. Besides in between customers and lulls would give him time to think about what he needed to do to fix everything.
"Hello Luke," Emily greeted.
"Hello Mrs. Gilmore," Luke replied.
"I would appreciate it if I could have a moment of your time. I would like to talk with you," Emily said, her voice strong, almost commanding.
Luke grabbed a rag from underneath the counter and began to wipe the counter-top down. "I'm working. I'm busy."
Emily flitted her eyes around the diner, from the man at the counter next to hear eating the blackened toast to empty table after empty table. She focused her eyes back on Luke.
"Clearly you are very busy," Emily said snidely. "Thankfully though, I have a little time. I can wait."
With that Emily said hello to the man with the toast before she claimed a seat at the counter. She folded her hands in her lap and watched Luke intently as he did everything that he could to make himself look busy despite only having one customer, a customer who looked content to eat his toast and drink his chocolate milk in silence.
"Kirk, is there anything else I can get you?" Luke asked, avoiding Emily's gaze. "Whatever you want buddy, on the house."
Kirk, oblivious to what was going on around him, replied, "No. You know Luke, I like the toast like this. It gives it a little extra crunch, you should make it like this more often."
Emily cleared her throat. "I would like a cup of coffee," she requested.
Luke sighed and quickly filled a cup up with coffee for Emily. He knew without tasting it that it was a terrible batch of coffee, all his food and beverages tasted crappy when he and Lorelai fought. When they made up, Lorelai would tease him about being an emotional chef. But he watched as Emily lied through her teeth and told him it was a great cup of coffee and she saw why her daughter enjoyed it so much. Of course, she added in a snippy little comment at the end about how she had to wait to be served while Luke focused his attention on the only other customer in the diner.
Emily turned to the man that she now remembered as Kirk. "Are you almost done? It seems that you are keeping Luke busy and I really need to speak with him. Would you mind excusing us?"
Kirk looked down at the two lone pieces of toast still on his plate and then back at Emily. Her expression alone told him that his leaving really wasn't an option even though she may have phrased it as one. He grabbed a napkin and wrapped his pieces of toast in it before he walked out the door and started down the sidewalk at a brisk pace. Luke cleared his plate and carried it into the kitchen before he walked back into the diner.
"Your only customer just left, I don't think you're busy now," Emily said. "I would say now is a great time for us to talk. My time is running out, Richard and I are leaving for our trip soon."
Luke remained silent but focused his attention on Emily so that she knew he was listening.
"I'm sure you can guess why I'm here," Emily began. "I understand that you and Lorelai are having some troubles in your relationship. Now you may be wondering just how I know since Lorelai and I have had our fair share of battles and she doesn't share things with me but things have changed in the past few days. The other day I was with Lorelai showing her a house that Richard and I planned to give to the both of you as a wedding present when Lorelai confessed to me that the wedding was not going to happen." She looked Luke directly in the eye. "I have never seen my daughter so broken down as that night when she confessed that to me."
Luke didn't even know where to begin. He had no idea that Emily and Richard planned to buy them a house, Lorelai never told him. The reason she came to him Friday night asking him if they were going to get married suddenly made a little more sense. With everything he knew about Emily and Lorelai's relationship, he was surprised that Lorelai confessed anything to Emily.
"It's complicated," was all that came out of Luke's mouth.
"Life is complicated," Emily responded. "You and I both know that Lorelai rarely opens up to me, so for her to break down and confess something like that to me then something is definitely wrong. I talked with her, as any mother would do for their child, I told her to talk with you. Surprisingly, she took my advice. That night she talked with you was because I told her to talk with you and try to fix things. Imagine my surprise when she shows up at my house in tears. She broke down again but she eventually opened and talked with me. She is hurting Luke. She is hurting because of you."
Luke nodded his head, it physically pained him that he hurt Lorelai in such a way. "I already know that, we talked last night."
"And?" Emily encouraged.
"She and Rory went on a little trip," Luke said. "When she gets back into town, we are going to try and work through things."
"Good," Emily replied. "She loves you Luke. But if you continue to keep her separate from the life you have with your daughter, you are going to lose her. I know how bad that feels, you're going to want to do everything possible to keep her in your life. You cannot continue to shut her out, you have to find a way to have both Lorelai and April in your life. She wants a marriage, she wants a family Luke, and the only person she wants that with is you. I can't say that it's going to be easy because there is a lot to work through, but if you really love her like she loves you then you'll find a way to work everything out."
"I do love your daughter," Luke confessed. "I do want to marry her."
"Then do not let her walk away again. Do not let her go," Emily warned. "She deserves someone who is going to love her and take care of her. She wants that person to be you. If you let her go again then she may just not come back."
Leaving her parting words for Luke to mull over, Emily got up from the stool and headed towards the diner door. She noticed a crowd had gathered outside the diner, all trying to appear as if they weren't just looking in the diner as Emily made her way outside. She politely said hello to a few of those she remembered from past visits to Stars Hollow before she climbed in her car and headed back to Hartford.
"When you said 'shop until you drop', I didn't think that you meant it literally," Rory said as she followed her mother into their hotel room, both of their arms laden down with shopping bags of various colors and sizes.
Lorelai dropped her share of shopping bags onto her bed as well as onto the floor beside her bed. "Kid, you should know by now that I never joke about shopping. Besides we only bought things that we needed in some way. Not like the time we went shopping with my mother and she bought out every store. Thinking about it, I'm a little offended that you doubted my word."
"Momentary lapse in judgment," Rory defended. She dropped all of her bags onto the floor before she collapsed down onto her bed, her eyes closed when she sank her head into the pillow. "I'm starving but I'm not sure if I can move."
Lorelai turned to face her daughter with her hands on her hips. "Who are you and what have you done with my daughter? I thought that last stop for coffee would have perked you right up."
Rory picked her head up from the pillow and lifted herself up on her arm. "You're telling me that you're not the least bit tired? You have enough energy to go out shopping again or go out for dinner?"
Lorelai studied her daughter's face for a moment before she sat down on the edge of her bed. "Ugh no," she groaned as she fell back into the bed. The all-day shopping had taken it's toll on her as well. "But you're the younger one, you're supposed to have more energy than me. I should be the one complaining about being tired, not you."
"I must have missed that memo," Rory mumbled back. She laughed at the sound of her stomach growling loudly. "Man I'm so hungry. Why didn't we stop for food before we came back here?"
"You wanted to put all your bags down before we went to eat anywhere," Lorelai replied. From her laid-back position on the bed, she tried to gesture around the room. "Hence the reason for us being back here."
"So this is all my fault?" Rory asked.
"Yep!"
"Blame the daughter, nice strategy."
"It's a mother's privilege," Lorelai reminded her as she scooted up the bed then turned on her side to face her daughter. "I'm the one that spent hours and hours in labor with you so I am allowed to blame you for the fact that I do not want to get out of this bed to get us something from dinner because I am tired."
Rory turned on her side to face her mother's bed. "Is it also a mother's privilege to let their one and only, precious daughter die of starvation in a hotel room?"
"If that daughter is the reason that we are back in the hotel room, both camped out on the bed complaining about how tired we are and with no desire to actually get up and get something to sustain us?" Lorelai asked but then quickly answered her own question. "Then yes, that is also a part of my privilege."
Rory laughed as her stomach growled loudly once again. "Well I wouldn't say I have no desire, but I don't think I have the energy."
Lorelai suddenly popped up from the bed, just a little more energetic than before. She grabbed her purse then dug through her shopping bags until she found a discarded brochure from a chinese restaurant that promised delivery.
"Aha!" she proclaimed as she waved the brochure around. "Thanks to the handy invention of restaurants that offer delivery, we no longer have to go out to get food. We can be lazy, stay in, and still get food."
"How do we even know if that place is any good?" Rory asked. "That guy just handed you the brochure, it could be terrible chinese food."
"It can't be any worse than Al's," Lorelai reasoned.
"Not many places are," Rory replied. She pushed herself up from her bed and joined her mother on her bed. "What are we in the mood for tonight?"
Lorelai shrugged her shoulders then looked over at her daughter. "The usual?"
Rory nodded, "The usual sounds fine to me."
While her mother located the number for the restaurant on the brochure then proceeded to dial said number to order their food, Rory busied herself trying to clear up their shopping bags so they weren't in the way. She loved the idea of retail therapy as much as her mother but she knew that whatever happened between her mother and Luke was definitely taking it's toll. She hadn't yet told her mother but she overheard a part of her mother's conversation with Luke last night. Her mother may have taken the call outside to the balcony but her raised voice still traveled into the room. She couldn't make out anything that was being said but the tone was not one of a loving phone call.
There were times when they were shopping today that she saw her mother's shield drop, like when they happened to pass by a store with wedding dresses displayed in the window. But with her mother being Wonder Woman, she quickly recovered and forced a smile on her face before she drug Rory into another store. She wanted to question her mother because things like this were not best kept bottled up but do to the road trip rules that she so explicitly stated in the car, she was not allowed to talk about Luke.
"Okay the food is ordered and on the way," Lorelai announced breaking Rory out of her reverie. "Now all we have left to do is wait for it to arrive."
"Great," Rory replied with a smile.
With a little renewed energy now that their food was ordered and on the way, Lorelai and Rory moved about the room alternating between setting their shopping bags aside and occasionally going through them in order to review their purchases. When their food arrived, they camped out on Lorelai's bed, sampling all the different dishes she ordered while simultaneously flipping through the TV channels in order to find something to watch.
"So, verdict?" Lorelai asked as she gathered up the half-empty take-out containers and set them aside. She dumped a couple of empty ones into the trash.
"Well it is better than Al's," Rory commented.
Lorelai sat back down on the bed next to her daughter and crossed her legs, "I'm going to need more than that hon. Most places are better than Al's."
"Okay. I would probably eat it again but it's not worthy of a special trip here again just to eat the food," Rory replied. "Good but not worthy."
Lorelai nodded her head. "Good verdict," she agreed.
Just then, Rory's cell-phone rang. Paris' name flashed up on the screen. Rory picked up the phone and indicated to her mother that she was going to take the call. While Rory went out onto the balcony to take the call, Lorelai moved around on the bed until she sat with her back against the headboard. She reached onto the nightstand and grabbed her old diary. It took her a moment to decipher her loopy, teenage scrawl but when she did, she began reading through it easily.
She couldn't help but chuckle as she skimmed over a few of the very first entries. They were mainly about her parents, Emily and Richard, as she referred to them instead of mom and dad. Then there were a few references to certain dictators that she was sure fit her parents around that time. More mentions of Christopher began to pop up over the next few pages as their teenage love story began. Skimming over those pages and reading about her teenage self thinking that she was head over in heels in love with Christopher, just made her think of Luke and how Luke was the only person she ever truly loved. Christopher was the past, she knew that. Luke was the present and hopefully the future if they could just work everything out.
Lorelai breezily flipped through the pages until she saw mentions of her being pregnant pop up. She flipped to the very page where the word 'pregnant' popped up for the first time. She realized it was before she ever truly knew about Rory but all the hints were pointing towards a baby. Needless to say, it was a full page of her freaking out. She read on until she found the page where a pregnancy test secretly taken at school confirmed what she already knew.
"What are you reading?" Rory asked, breaking Lorelai out of her reverie.
"My old diary," Lorelai informed her daughter. She patted the spot next to her, "Come sit. I just found out about you."
"Well if it's about me then of course I will join you," Rory said as she climbed up on the bed next to her mother. She looked up at her mother. "Why do you have this with you?"
Lorelai shrugged her shoulders. "I found it recently, decided it could be fun to read over it." She wasn't going to tell Rory exactly where she found the diary, at least not right now. She pointed to the page she was currently on. "See now this is where I wrote about taking a pregnancy test, no one knew about you but me."
"Not even dad?" Rory asked.
Lorelai shook her head, "Nope. It was just me." She nudged Rory with her shoulder. "And you. I told your dad a few days later."
"And how did he react?" Rory asked.
Lorelai chuckled. "Imagine any sixteen year old guy being told that there girlfriend was pregnant and that was your dad." She sighed, "And then all hell broke loose when the grandparents found out. Both sets of grandparents."
"That must have been really hard on you," Rory replied.
Lorelai nodded then smiled brightly as she looked at her daughter, "Well yeah, but it was all worth it. You were worth it," she emphasized.
Rory smiled, "Well I am pretty amazing."
"You are," Lorelai agreed.
Rory leaned her head on her mother's shoulder as they both continued to flip through and read certain entries from the diary. As they flipped through the pages, a picture fluttered out and fell onto the bed.
"This fell out," Rory said as she picked up the picture.
Lorelai smiled as she gently plucked the black-and-white picture from Rory's grasp. "Look at that, it's your very first picture. Well one of your first pictures anyways." She sat the book down in her lap as her fingers traced over the picture. "My baby girl."
Rory smiled at her mother and at the picture that her mother was gazing at. She furrowed her brow when she noticed her mother's hand fall to her belly and rest there while she continued to stare at the image. She noticed the small circular movements that her mother's hand traced around her belly. She pieced a few things together and suddenly a thought popped in her mind.
"Mom...are you…?" she trailed off hoping her mother might know what she meant.
"Am I what?" Lorelai asked, confusion masked her face.
Rory's eyes went from the picture in her mother's hand to where her mother's other hand rested. She then looked her mother in the eyes. "Are you pregnant?"
Lorelai choked back a laugh then noticed where her hand rested, she quickly snatched it back. "No Rory. I'm not pregnant."
"Oh," Rory replied. "Well with your hand where it was and then with whatever is going on with Luke, I just thought that maybe you were or something." She shrugged her shoulders. "And I don't know, you've been a little different lately but you haven't told me what's going on."
"It's not because I'm pregnant. Trust me, I'm not," Lorelai replied shortly.
She wanted a kid with Luke, reading through her diary just heightened that thought in her mind. Something she was longing for, something that could still happen if they could work things out. But at the moment, she wasn't too sure if she and Luke could work things out. Not if he didn't realize that he couldn't have two separate lives. Plus the possibility of another kid right now would probably just be something else that Luke couldn't deal with.
"Okay. Are you ever going to tell me what happened with Luke? I know you made the rule but I know you're upset about something and we usually talk about everything. I'm just worried about you Mom," Rory said softly.
Lorelai dabbed at her eyes where tears were beginning to form. "Luke and I had a fight."
"I know."
"A bad fight."
"What happened?"
"It's been months and months of the same thing, of him pushing me away, of him not letting me in, and it just all built up. I had to say something," Lorelai confessed. "And it just didn't go the way I thought it would. I'm afraid that Luke and I might not make it."
"Mom, that's crazy," Rory replied adamantly. "You know that you and Luke will be fine. You and Luke are meant for one another. You two can work through this, I know that."
Lorelai sniffled. "I want to believe that but I just don't know."
Rory wrapped her arm around her mother's shoulder and pulled her closer when she noticed that her shield was now down and she was crying. The one thing she hated most in the world was to see her mother cry and know that there was nothing she could do to help her. The only thing she could do that was remotely comforting was sit here with her mother while she cried and assure her that things would be okay.
This might be the longest chapter for the story so far. Hope you enjoyed. I know the Luke and Lorelai conversation was kind of short but I couldn't have them say everything over the phone.
As always, reviews are appreciated and encouraged.
