Rick

"Lori came to me in a dream the night Carl and I got to that house," Rick admitted, placing the metal chair against the door knob to the bedroom door, assuring no one would interrupt him and Michonne. "I hadn't seen her in months. Thought I was on the other side of it."

Michonne stood up from where she sat on the edge of the bed and walked towards Rick, her hands searching her pockets for the picture she obtained from their journey to her old home. Without hesitating, Rick grabbed Michonne's wrists and slowly pulled her hands out of her pockets, shaking his head ever so slightly.

"Sometimes I see my best friend, Shane," Rick continued, taking a seat at the edge of the bed, his elbows resting on his knees as he glared at the linoleum floor. "It'll be someone we've passed on the road or he's chokin' the life outta me in a dream."

His eyes glanced up at a concerned Michonne, who remained silent as he expected, listening keenly as he poured out his past onto her. The demons that plagued him, even to this day, unleashed themselves out and in the open for her to hear, relate to and maybe even offer him some consolation in the process.

"I don't know if you've heard that name before or not," Rick asked, his eyes still cast on Michonne's face.

"Yeah," she uttered, moving in a little closer. "I heard you speak his name in your sleep before."

"Lori thought I was dead," he scoffed. "Shane saved my family while I was in a coma. They thought I was dead."

Rick's eyes moved from Michonne to the floor once more as he searched for the words. Stinging him from the inside out, he had no choice but release the truth. He'd bottled up all his frustration, his rage, his guilt and his shame into the pit of his stomach, which ached and burned, begging for release.

His eyes remained on the floor as he proceeded to share, "Lori and Shane were together during that time. Maybe even before that. I don't know."

He pinched the bridge of his nose, willing himself to continue despite his need to want to flee. He looked up at Michonne and fought back the lump in his throat. "I don't even know if Ju- Judy is mine."

"Stop," Michonne demanded. "Rick, you don't need to do this."

"Yes, I do," he spoke in his normal matter of fact manner.

She moved in even closer, placing a consoling hand on his shoulder. He looked up at her, his blue eyes turning that deep shade of blue indicating he was overwhelmed.

"I killed Shane," he confessed, staring into Michonne's soul. "I killed my best friend. We'd been friends since we were ten and I shot him because he was threatening to take my life so that he could have my family. Lori, asked me to take care of him and that was the only way. He had lost it and it forced my hand. I didn't wanna..."

Michonne gasped and her breathing quickened as Rick came to his feet and stood face to face with her.

"And Lori," Rick laughed, his hands resting on his hips. "Lori got mad at me. I needed her to tell me that I'd done the right thing by her and Carl and the baby and she rejected me."

"Rick," Michonne breathed just before the tips of his fingers touched her full lips.

"I wasn't enough for Lori," Rick declared, his eyes now staring at the small space between them. "She didn't think I was enough. I wasn't good enough. I wasn't there enough. I wasn't strong enough or smart enough."

He looked up at Michonne once more, searching her face to see if she agreed with anything he just spoke. A heavy sigh escaped from her mouth, filling the void between the two of them, as she shook her head in disagreement.

"I was trying and I now know that I was enough. I shoulda been enough for her. I was naive when this all started. Thought there was a way out of it. Then I pushed everyone away and lost it. I messed up with you, when all you did was helped us. If it weren't for you, Glenn and Maggie wouldn't be here today. I treated you like shit and you apologized to me. Told me I had to think about it. Consider it. You took the high road when you shoulda just kicked my ass."

His eyes roamed all over Michonne's face. "You trust me. Always did. You never question my actions. Not even when you know I don't know what the hell we're supposed to do."

Her eyes lowered and her hands began to search her pockets again to retrieve the photograph but once again, Rick took a hold of her wrists and pulled them away.

"I don't need to know right now," he stated, now holding her hands. "But you needed to know that I got stuff too. I haven't talked about or told anyone that doesn't already know."

Releasing her hands, Rick wrapped his arms around Michonne's waist and pulled her into his body. It just felt like the right thing to do in that moment. He stared at her face for a while, wondering what was running through her mind. Her gaze remained with his as she brought her hands to his chest and rested them there. Slowly, Rick lowered his lips to hers in an impassioned kiss. He wasn't sure why he did it, except that he wanted to. It just felt like the right thing to do. She fervently received his tongue mingling with hers, the coarse hairs from his beard scraped against her skin but he didn't care. Obviously she didn't, as her tongue danced around in his mouth. He liked the taste of her, more than he would ever let on. He wanted nothing more than to cause her pleasure and pain as his desire for her grew into an intense need to release.

Palms pressed against his chest as she pulled away from his lips, her slender fingers popping open the buttons of his shirt. Rick quickly slipped off his gun belt and softly tossed it aside on the floor next to the bed. He finished taking off his shirt just as Michonne began to unbuckle his pants.

"Lift your arms," he commanded and she eagerly obliged. His large, rugged hands pulled at the tank top she wore and swiftly pulled it up and over her head. Shedding the remaining garments, they both discarded the thin barriers between their bodies and tossed them aside as if it were nothing more than trash.

Michonne reclined on the bed as Rick hovered his body inches above hers. His tongue began an exploration over her soft skin from her neck, to her collar bone, her breast and beyond. Writhing underneath, Michonne spread her legs, begging Rick to consume and pleasure her in the most carnal way. He fully submerged himself inside her, beginning his fluid and rhythmic thrusts, nice and slow as to savor every bit of her. Her legs stiffened as she glided her feet along his calves. He rocked against her, initiating her to join in the rhythm of his movement. Her nails dug deep into the flesh of his back as his thrusts grew more intense.

"Rick," she managed to utter through the moans escaping from her mouth as she bit down on her bottom lip, her hand reaching to grip the side of the bed as Rick plunged deeper, a small smirk crossing his thin lips at the sight of her losing all inhibition and allowing him to love her.

Crumbling in the splendor of finally feeling himself inside of her, Rick collapsed, sweaty and panting, lying on top of Michonne's equally wet body. Domineering kisses ascended from his lips to hers. He was still inside her, as her legs locked around his body. She loosened her grip, releasing him from their merged bodies.

"Roll over," she breathed, her body now straddling Rick as he came to rest on his back, fully viewing her beautiful form as she rode him, her hands pressed firmly into his chest. Her walls were breaking down. He then knew that in the moment Michonne had entrusted him with her all and he would treasure her until his earthly end.

Michonne

He shuffled over to his side of the bed and wrapped his arm around her, drawing her closer to his body and she didn't mind at all. Not one bit. Honestly it was nice to be close to someone, especially in that way. It had been so long. She didn't know how much she'd missed intimacy until then. She really didn't know if she would ever really want to again. But Rick. He'd exposed himself. Showed her all of his raw edges. His flaws. His fears and insecurities. He laid it all before her to behold and lock inside herself and she needed him to know that it was safe with her.

They lay on their sides, facing each other. He kissed her forehead before rolling onto his back. Michonne inched her way towards his chest and laid her head in the crook of his arm, rubbing his damp chest with the palm of her hand. His hand rubbed her shoulder with the tips of his fingers, rough and ragged but they also offered her comfort and a sense of protection. She didn't want to hold back from him anymore. It was time to let him know.

"I had a son," she eased into the stillness. "He was three. Andre."

Rick squeezed her shoulder, bringing her closer to his body, his lips kissing the top of her head.

"I had a boyfriend, Mike. Andre's father."

A heavy sigh escaped from her mouth before she continued. "The picture I found was of Andre. He had just turned three and we did one of those really nice and expensive photo shoots with an independent professional photograher. And he shined. The photographer said he was one of the best children she had ever shot."

Michonne reached over the side of the bed and retrieved her pants, digging deep into the pockets. This time Rick didn't stop her. Pulling out the picture she stared at it a while before handing it over to Rick who gladly took it.

"He's cute," Rick observed. "He has your eyes."

Michonne smiled at his thoughtful and sweet words. Even in that moment they brought her some joy and peace. She allowed her thoughts to leave that moment of bliss and move back to her past reality.

"We were at a camp, just south of the city. It was Andre, Mike, Mike's best friend Terry and me."

"What happened to 'em?"

Michonne's lower lip began to quiver at the thought and a single tear rolled down her face.

"I was out on a run. Doing what I could to earn our keep. When I returned, the camp was destroyed. I went to my tent looking for Andre and Mike but they weren't there. I looked at the tent of a neighbor who would watch Andre for us sometimes and I found one of his sh- shoes," her voice broke. Rick rubbed her shoulder and gripped her even tighter.

"I found Mike and Terry a little after that. Terry was being ripped to shreds and Mike had been bitten twice. I was livid. I was sick. I was hurt. I felt betrayed because he wasn't there. He wasn't there to save my baby. So I drove my sword into their hearts and I watched them turn."

The tears began their free fall as she concluded, "I ha- hacked off their jaws so they couldn't bite and their arms so they couldn't gra- grab and I chained them up like two dogs and carried them around like they were my pets. Not long after that I learned that they protected me from other walkers. They camouflaged me. When I found Andrea, I had them. They kept us safe that winter."

"That was the lowest point of my life," Michonne added, wiping the tears away in an attempt to compose herself. "It was monstrous what I did to them."

"We've all done something 'Chonne," Ricked chimed in. "Doesn't mean anything anymore. Everyone's gotten their hands dirty. Just the way it is."

"I know. Just wish I didn't have to sometimes. I don't wanna go back there, Rick. Ever. But I know that I will. I will because I have no choice."

"Yeah, well," he drawled. "We'll have no choice together."

"Right," her voice arose in the dead silence. "Together."

"Together," Rick spoke as they continued to lie in each other's arms.

Rick

Loading the last of the canned goods into the back of his van, Rick slammed it hard and made his way around to the driver's side. Daryl was leaning against the door, a smirk on his face.

"What," Rick asked, side eyeing Daryl.

"Nothin'. You just seem… different."

"Fuck off," Rick said pushing Daryl aside, a grin splashing over his mouth.

"That's what you did," Daryl teased, patting Rick on the back as he headed towards the other van.

Was it that obvious? How would Daryl know? He thought Michonne had been relatively quiet, muffling her mouth with the pillow and biting down on her lip. Michonne fastened her seat belt just as Rick entered the van. He looked at her briefly before adjusting his seat and mirrors. She reached over and covered his hand with her own, squeezing it lightly.

"You ready to go," he asked.

She only nodded in response.

A calm settled in the van as they took off towards the highway, heading north on 85. Carl, Judith, Beth, Noah, Glenn and Maggie had all settled into their seats as they travelled along the rugged and bumpy roads. They were met by torched vehicles and decaying bodies scattered in inconvenient places along the highway, causing them to slow down in order to maneuver properly.

They had reached the edge of the city when Beth started to hum to Judith, Maggie joining in, her arms outstretched and wrapped around her baby sister. In perfect harmony the sister's began to sing.

I'd like to live out all our dreams

And if I could, yes if I could

The nicest one would be with you

And you'd be here with me

Don't ever get lonely

Rick peeked through the rear view mirror at the young women and smiled. He couldn't believe they were able to get Beth and Carol out of that hospital alive and in one piece. His thoughts were interrupted by the low hum that seemed to come from Michonne's direction. He looked over to her and grinned.

"What," she asked, smiling but not turning her attention from the road. "My dad was a Johnny Cash fan."

"Nothin'," Rick replied, shaking his head. "Just a little surprised."

"I'm southern born and bred. Don't let the elocution fool you."

"I won't," he laughed. "There's so much I wanna know about you."

"In time my friend. In time."

Beth continued singing as they covered much ground. They'd been in the car over two hours. Rick really wasn't sure where they were going or where they would end up. He knew they needed to find shelter soon though. It would be winter before they knew it and Georgian winters were nothing nice. The harsh, biting winds alone were enough to do someone in.

"Hey," Michonne called out, moving up to the edge of her seat and pointing ahead. "Take that next exit."

Rick did as he was told without questioning. Michonne radioed to Daryl in the trailing van that they would take the next exit.

"Where are we going 'Chonne," Rick finally asked as they made their way off of the highway.

"There's a boarding school about three miles east of here. If I recall, there were only two main exits out of the building and no windows on the ground floor. Large brick building. It's fortified. It sits on 3 or 4 acres. You can farm there. It's worth taking a look around. See if it's suitable."

"Alright," Rick drawled, nodding his head. "We'll check it out."


They approached the tall iron gates of what looked like the façade of an estate. It was completely surrounded by a 12' foot tall stone wall. A large red and brown brick building sat in the distance. Glenn, Tyreese popped the large, thick chain from around the gate, allowing the vans access onto the land.

What were the chances that no one had occupied this place, Rick thought as they drove towards the large building. It didn't make any sense and apprehension began to form in his mind.

"I don't have a good feeling about this Michonne."

"We're heavily armed Rick," Michonne countered. "Let's at least check it out."

"This place is a goldmine Mich. Why hasn't anyone occupied this place yet?"

The van came to a halt as they approached the building, a large dark mass appearing from nowhere. They were still a good distance from the actual facility.

"What is that," Rick questioned as he jumped out of the van, his hand gripping the colt python as he squinted to make out what was before him.

"It looks like a moat," Michonne answered as she unsheathed her katana.

"Was that there before," Rick queried as he stepped back towards the van.

"No," she simply replied. "Somebody built that."

"It's smart," Rick replied. "We shoulda thought of that at the prison."

Before Rick knew it, he and Michonne were almost surrounded by a small horde of walkers, dragging their decomposed bodies towards them with determination.

"Get in the van," Rick hollered as Michonne swiftly rounded the front end of the vehicle.


Author's Note: So how amazing was that mid season premiere, despite the fact that we lost our dear resident teddy bear. May Tyreese rest in peace! It's late and I'm pretty exhausted so I'mg going to respond to reviews tomorrow. The rating has changed on this story. Also, I usually edit each section as I write but I didn't get an opportunity to do a thorough once over edit, so please excuse any grammatical and spelling errors. I hope you enjoy this update and as always thank you so very much for reading!

So, for those who follow me on tumblr, you may have noticed that I'm obsessed with Kimbra and I have to admit that I listened to "Love In High Places" on repeat while writing one of the scenes in this chapter. It just fits Richonne so perfectly imo. If you're a music enthusiast, you should definitely check her music out. I promise you will not be disappointed. She's got a really fresh take on alterna-pop music. For those familiar with Gotye, she was the female vocalist on his hit "Somebody That I Used to Know" and she seriously has some crazy pipes and she's a really interesting songwriter. There's a very poetic and prose approach to her lyrics. Anyway, I digress.

Review Responses:

Kam – Carl is a little shit but his heart is truly in the right place. He really does care deeply about her. I mean he did keep her secret about Andre safe and we know Carl will gab it out to his dad. He totally snitched on Carol in season 4. I thought her getting a picture of Andre would allow her to heal and would just be nice for her to have. Thank you so much for reading and the review. You are AWESOME!

Alex311 – Carl is like a little shrink, huh? I'm glad you enjoyed the update. Rick plays a very pivotal part in Michonne's complete healing. Thank you so much for reading and your continued support. You're the best!

For everyone else who signed in and reviews, check your inbox!

Many thanks for continuing to support this tale!

-Nik