No Regrets Chapter 5
The Quest, part 1
"Where to first, my love?"
"Rumple's castle is out, as is mine. He only found a vague reference to the curse in a book he had in Storybrooke, and I know I never saw anything in my books about this curse. But I know of a place I could never get into as the Evil Queen. It's guarded by powerful light magic. Only light magic users are allowed in"
"Henry wrote you as the light savior when your blood brought us back to Storybrooke."
"Yes, and even before that. It turned out I was the strongest light magic user, not Emma."
"When you defeated Zelena."
"I think us being soulmates is connected to this. Deciding to change for my son broke the hold dark magic had on me. But it wasn't until we met and I opened my heart to you, that my light magic emerged. It was you holding my heart that brought it out."
"Even though I have no natural magic?"
"Maybe you do. But not the typical way. You enhance my light magic, and you can use mine, like last night."
"And your kiss extended that use."
"I gave you more, and it worked."
"Chapter 23, do you think-"
"When he saw I had it, Isaac said I had someone very powerful looking after me."
"It definitely means something, that it appeared in my bag."
"I want to know if it has something to do with breaking this curse."
"It must be someone stronger than Merlin, because he never said anything to you or me when we were in Camelot."
"I'm wondering if he might have known something though, or that the Land Without Magic stories were wrong- that Merlin wasn't connected to Avalon and Morgan Le Faye."
"The only connection we saw to Avalon in Camelot was that mind controlling sand."
"I heard that after Arthur was killed, Guinevere told a story about Arthur having used it on her. She had actually loved Lancelot. Still does. I hope they found each other after she returned."
"So she was essentially Arthur's mindless slave for years and didn't even know it, had no free will at all." Robin's voice was filled with disgust.
"At least Leopold didn't do that to me."
"What he did to you was unpardonable, even worse than what Arthur did. He forced you, imprisoned you, enjoyed your pain for years. I wish I'd been the one to kill him for you."
"Robin…" She reacted with shock.
"I told you, I have my own dark past. I would have gladly darkened my heart to save you."
"They would have executed you."
"Maybe I could have persuaded you to run away with me."
"Think I was too far gone by then. But sometimes I wish that page 23 had come true. I'd barely started learning dark magic then. Maybe we would have found out about the curse and broken it. I wonder if that's why my fear of being weak overwhelmed me, made me run away from you. The curse didn't want me to break it, and I'd already started on the dark magic path. So it was able to control me, send me back to a hell I might have escaped."
"That was the past. We can't beat ourselves up for what we used to be, what we did. We accept it and work to be better."
"I know. You told me that back when we started our relationship. I was astounded. You knew I'd been the Evil Queen but you still could love me. You never doubted me."
"I never will. I'll always believe in you, Regina."
"Even in the Enchanted Forest that first night, you pleaded with me, that I had value as a person."
"You do."
"I didn't think so then. Henry was the only one that had believed in me and I thought I'd never see him again. And even Henry didn't believe in me for a time, and I almost lost him for good. Then just when he truly believed in me I had to say goodbye to him. But you barely even knew me, and what you knew was all bad-"
"Not all. You saved my son, and then comforted him. I was dumbfounded. This was the Evil Queen I'd heard so many terrible things about? This woman who saved and comforted my child. The moment our eyes first met, you looked back at me not as an evil mad queen but as a strong, yet sad eyed woman. Then as we walked to your castle I saw you kept looking back at me, attraction written all over you."
"I was that obvious?"
Robin laughed "Oh yes. I do believe Snow noticed it too."
Regina looked embarrassed. "She did. I must have looked like a teenage girl with her first crush."
"It was disconcerting. But my feelings were as well. I felt the same attraction but it was so confusing, trying to figure you out."
"You figured me out long before I did you."
"Only in the Enchanted Forest. I remember your approach was quite different in Storybrooke- when we thought we were meeting for the first time."
"I wasn't so heartbroken. While Henry didn't know I was his mother, I was able to spend time with him."
"Perhaps this is out of line, but I thought Emma and the Charmings were unnecessarily cruel about the situation."
"Not out of line at all. I just decided to put it in the past once I broke the curse and Henry remembered me. If you recall, he quickly moved back home after that."
"Indeed. Although I was dealing with my own issues at the time, I was glad Henry had come back home to you. You are the one that has cared for him almost his whole life. It makes no difference that you did not give birth to him. I feel the Charmings still don't fully recognize that. I absolutely trust you with all our children, Regina, no matter what happens to me. I want Roland to have you for his mother the same as Henry, both of our daughters too. I know you'll love and protect them with all your heart and soul."
"I will. But I will also try to get whoever is on our side and anyone else that's so powerful to bring you back. I want them all to have a father as well as a mother."
"I am truly honored, Regina, that you would consider me as a father to Henry."
"Of course you are! Henry already treats you like you are."
He laughed, "Including lying to me about a dangerous situation he got himself into."
"He did?"
Yes, he confessed while we were still in the underworld. He didn't want me to blame myself. Cruella was in the Underworld's mayor's office. He convinced me to wait in the lobby and went to search the room himself. Cruella was there. She couldn't hurt him directly but she manipulated him into helping her and saying nothing to us."
"I'd kill her myself if she wasn't already dead."
"Thankfully, Henry was smarter than Cruella bargained for, thanks to learning that from you, my love."
Regina laughed. "He outsmarted doggy bones, good for him! But I still hate he hid it from us, guilty feelings or not. I'm equally guilty. I trusted him to not strike out on his own; I should know my son's behavior by now. And even moreso now that he's a teenager."
"Takes after both his mothers."
"True."
"So Avalon. I've heard of it by name, but not much more. I hadn't heard about how only light magic users could gain entrance, but I had heard it was magically guarded and impossible to find."
"Unless you are a magic user. Even a dark magic user might find it, but they'll never get in. Not even the Dark One."
"How did Arthur get that sand?"
"Just because a light magic user can get in and get magical aid there, doesn't mean they'll keep it. I'd heard of the sand when I was the Evil Queen and there were rumors of it circulating in magical circles, including dark magic users, but I never saw any. "
"So how long is the journey to Avalon?"
"If you know the general region and can use magic to get there, less than a day."
"So why are we walking?"
She laughed "I thought I was supposed to be the impatient one. There's a rumor of a ley line to Avalon near here. I want to see if I can find it."
"When we get there-"
"My history with dark magic, I know. I'm hoping that they won't be like the fairies, that except for Tinkerbelle, I'm judged forever too tainted to be in their graces. But some of the stories of Morgan le Fay, the high priestess of Avalon, gives me hope for mercy."
"Her name, it means, of the fairies, does she have connections to them?"
"I don't know. None of the Enchanted Forest stories say so. There's very little known of her origins. But I do know the Land Without Magic got it wrong about any direct connection to Arthur. She's been around centuries longer than him. I think as long as Merlin, if not longer." She turned to the right, going off the road. "I feel something magical this way, it's strong."
"The ley line?"
"I think so." She paused. "Yes, here!" She stepped a few inches to her right. "I'll poof us to the closest I can get to the end of the line"
"It ends at Avalon?"
"Yes, I can sense it. I came close to Avalon once, years ago, the feel is right."
"Then, my love, take us to Avalon."
They ended up in a forest clearing, next to a lake. "We're close, Robin. This is much stronger than the other time I tried to find it."
"What brought you there, then?"
"I wanted something to end the pain of my grieving over Daniel. Not forget him, not give up on my revenge against Snow, but to stop the pain. I believed what mother told me, love is weakness. I thought the pain of my lost love was making me weaker than I wanted to be."
"That pain was your humanity."
"I know that now. Combined with being consumed by the darkness, there was no way they would have helped me then."
"So what do we do now?"
"Wait for a sign. If you try to force it you lessen the chances of finding Avalon."
Regina opened herself to her surroundings, looking for the sign she needed that they had been acknowledged.
A raven landed at her feet.
"Is that?"
"The sign, yes."
She stood and the raven flew to a nearby tree and waited. Once they reached that tree it flew a few trees further. This continued for some time, then Regina felt the air change.
"Regina? I felt something, it feels different, does that make sense?"
"Yes. I felt it too. I think we are within Avalon's magical barrier now."
They reached a narrow bridge that led to an island in the center of a large lake. The raven flew to the island. Regina quickly crossed the bridge. As soon as she stepped on the island the raven flew down to the ground and transformed into a small woman with long black and grey hair. The woman had an olive skin tone and dark brown eyes. She smiled at them. "I'm Morgan, sometimes known as Morgan le Fay, Welcome to Avalon, Regina and." She waved her hand "And Robin"
Suddenly Robin found himself having physical form again. "Regina!"
Regina turned sharply, "Robin!" she cried out in joy as they tightly embraced.
"I'm afraid this will only last while you are in Avalon. My magic fades greatly just past the barrier. It isn't a long term spell, even here, but I can renew it while you are."
"His soul heart?" Regina said worriedly.
"Still in the box with your protection magic."
"How often will the spell need to be renewed?" Robin asked
"It will last three days."
"Perhaps that will be enough. I'm very grateful to you for this, but would not want to impose on your generosity" Robin sketched a deep courtly bow.
Curious younger priestesses giggled in the background.
Regina started to think her teasing response back to Robin then laughed and spoke aloud. "If you'd been that smooth with me during the missing year…"
He smirked, "What would have happened, milady?"
"You would have stolen my heart that much sooner, thief." She bit her lip and her eyes danced with amusement.
Morgan looked at the couple with a benign smile. At last the two were here, to begin their almost lost destiny. When she had used much of Avalon's magic to get the page 23 to them, their path should have quickly lead them here. But again the curse triggered a block to their path here. Ironically, it had been the Dark One's plan for a future manipulation that had saved Regina and Robin's destiny. "Before you begin your search, perhaps you would like some time to rest from your journey?"
"I believe we'll take you up on that offer." Robin said and Regina nodded.
The room, although spare in decoration, was almost a suite. It included a connected bathing room, and a sunlit dining/work area as well as a bed.
"It's almost as nice as my room at my palace."
"Indeed." Robin smiled remembering how many times during the missing year a search for his son at bedtime led straight to the queen's chambers. Roland would be curled up asleep in Regina's lap. After the first several times, and her assurance that the boy was no imposition, he would automatically knock on her door first, when looking for his son. Even after her sudden inexplicable change to hostility toward him, she remained maternal to Roland.
It was only after their memories returned in Storybrooke and her explanation about soulmates and his tattoo, that he understood what had happened. At some point during their missing year flirtations, she had seen his tattoo and had switched to outright hostility-because she feared what the soulmate bond would mean for her. On his part, perhaps he wasn't quite ready for it either. Things changed when they met again, unknowingly, in Storybrooke. Their unconscious minds remembered the time they'd spent together, and the soulmate bond drew them together. They felt an instant attraction until she fled when she saw his tattoo. But this time they both were ready, and the attraction quickly took on a deeper cord.
"Robin?"
"Sorry, was remembering how we met and how we discovered we were soulmates."
She drew her arms around him and they embraced. Then he noticed the device in her hand. "Henry's music player."
"I was missing him a bit. Look at what he put for this song title."
"Mom's song."
"I listened, it's a song I sang him when he was little, and didn't feel well. It was one of the first songs I heard on the radio when I created Storybrooke. It was a kind of older song even then. But I liked it. Then when I got Henry it just seemed like a good one to sing just for him."
"I'd like to hear it." Regina took the earbuds and handed Robin one of them. As the song played he began to sway with her "I believe I like this song too" He hummed along with the tune then he softly sang along "If can't hold you in my arms, it just wouldn't be fair…" She kissed him gently as they continued to sway to the music.
Regina awoke the next morning in his embrace. Oh how she'd missed this, the feel of his arms around her, in their bed when they woke up. His eyes opened and he smiled warmly at her.
"Let's go find that curse and how to break it."
Several hours later she looked over at him intently reading something. "Is it the curse?"
"No, but something that might be useful when we get back to Storybrooke."
"What?"
"A way Gold can wake up Belle, I think."
"Hmm, good thinking. I was wondering if your friend could be right-"
"That he knew, once you had my soul heart, and knew about the curse, it was likely you'd find your way back here to try to break it, and also get my son back."
"Yes, and without me there, there would be one powerful magic user missing. Emma's much less skilled than I"
"And I believe less powerful."
"Possibly. But he'd just have one powerful light magic user, rather than two. He underestimates both of us, but knows if we are working together we might actually be a threat to his taking over Storybrooke, so he doesn't challenge us directly."
"But if we brought this spell back, it would bring out his feelings for Belle, which would distract him from his power grab."
"Yes!" Regina quickly copied down the spell. It was surprisingly simple, and light magic based. She wondered if Gold could do it, being so steeped in dark magic. Hmm , that might be even better, if he had to ask Emma or her to do the spell.
Robin stretched tiredly, "Perhaps we could take a break now?"
"Um huh."
They strolled through the apple tree grove that had given the island its name- the island of apples. At this time there were no apples but most of the trees were in bloom.
"Beautiful, isn't it?" Regina sighed with contentment.
"Yes"
She laughed, "Please no clichéd words about how its beauty doesn't compare to mine."
"I wasn't going to, even though it's true. But nature has its own beauty, why do you think I like the forest so much."
She smiled up at him. "I've come to find it calming to my soul too."
He nodded. "We have that in common."
"Regina, Robin, you don't mind if we join you?" Morgan smiled at them and gestured to her companion, a woman of average height with nimbus of short curly white hair, medium brown skin and an air of regalness behind her equally warm smile. Incongruously, she held a small child's hand, while the other hand stroked the feathers of a small vulture that rested on a padded rest on her shoulder. The vulture had all white feathers, except for black ones at the tips of its wings.
"Please do" Robin again sketched a bow to Morgan and her companion.
Regina shook her head, bemused at the courtly respect he gave the high priestess. It was lighthearted, but not mocking. Morgan's companion's vulture was a surprisingly pretty animal as far as vultures went. She hadn't seen such an animal before and only recognized it as a vulture by its head shape.
Morgan's companion gave a nod of approval to the respect Robin had given to them. "I am called Mout. This is my great, great granddaughter " She rested her hand on the little girl's shoulder, who had a hair in black braids in the form of a crown, her deeper brown skin seemed to glow from within. The child shyly smiled at Robin and Regina but said nothing. Mout continued "To some I am called a goddess. But that matters not here. Morgan and I are soul mates much as you two are."
"You wondered why I so readily welcomed you here this time, Regina. You were perhaps expecting a longer wait and more reluctance."
"Yes, the stories about entrance to Avalon-"
"Made you fear it would be much more difficult."
Regina nodded. Robin took her hand in reassurance.
"My story, in some ways, is not dissimilar to your own. I too was broken and drawn into the darkest magic, in my youth."
"What happened to you?"
"To bring me out of my darkness? Mout found me."
"That too, but what lead you into the darkness?"
"That is a tale it took many years to be able to tell anyone but my soul mate. " Mout's vulture leapt from its perch and flew skyward. Mout took Morgan's hand with a compassionate expression.
"It was a time of horrors, my youth, far worse than your deeds as the evil queen. Merlin and I were close in age, he a bit younger. I did not know of him until he created the Dark One to try to restrain the darkest magic. Mout and I had a different solution to making the world better, we created Avalon together. A haven for light magic users."
"And those seeking sanctuary" Mout added.
"But my story begins as a young woman, curious about the magic ability that had emerged as I approached adulthood. One terrible evening as I walked back to my home, I was abducted by men on horseback. I was beaten, raped and left for dead beside a road. My broken mind howled with rage. A darkness overcame my soul and my power twisted in a welter dark vengeance. I found and slaughtered all my attackers. But that was not enough vengeance. I walked onto battlefields and slaughtered all injured men. The women and children I spared, unless they attacked me. Then they too would die by my deadly magic. My mind lost track of the years my madness played itself out on the world. But finally I began to weary of the mad vengeance. A tiny part of my soul cried out that it had enough, that it needed solitude. I began to wander further from my former home." Morgan nodded at Mout, now came her part of their tale.
"That is when we met. Warfare had cost me all but my two youngest children. I left my home county to seek a sanctuary for my children and myself. My marriage had been based on duty, not love. But I loved my children. My three older children and my husband died in one of the many wars. My country had collapsed into chaos that no light magic could heal. I knew if we were to survive I must take us elsewhere. I was still seeking that sanctuary when I met Morgan. My light magic was powerful, I knew of soul mates and I knew, even as we introduced ourselves, that we were soul mates."
"I didn't for a while, but I sensed she was no enemy, but an ally in my search for a place of solitude. After we had traveled together some time Mout asked me if I knew what a soul mate was."
"Did you?"
"Vaguely. Mout had to explain. It was another month before she told me we were. Then suddenly everything fell into place. We realized it was up to us to create our own sanctuary. So we created Avalon. We spread the story of a sanctuary and soon others joined us here. Some were light magic users like us, others were refugees from terrible abuses, many women with young children like Mout. But some men came to us as well. Most of them stayed for a time then left, stronger in heart and mind. That's how the tales of Avalon spread far and wide."
"And that created powerful enemies, political and magical."
"Yes, so we had to create the barrier and the place of waiting. At one point a Dark One tried to breech our barrier, this was long before your Mr. Gold became the Dark One. That was when we had to make entrance here so difficult. It cost us much. We lost most of our ability to send our light magic beyond our barrier. We knew we had to make something to aid light magic in the world outside, so, using much of our magic resources, we created the fairies. As we were light magic users they were given complete free will. But that also meant they could become tempted by darkness. A few were. We could only watch in sadness when this happened as our power had so little strength outside our barrier. One fairy, in particular, was tempted and used this to manipulate other fairies and alter events… she so obscured her deeds, that even we have not seen them all. She believes her dark deeds were done for the right, and still is able to weld some light magic, enough to fool all she comes in contact with."
"Do I know her?"
"Yes. Unfortunately, she has placed a powerful spell that does not allow us to name her, even here. Perhaps when you break your curse it will also break her spell."
"Did she create the curse?"
"No, this curse on your family goes back to my time. I do not know who laid it, but I know how old it is. This fairy though, did manipulate the curse to make sure you continued your fall into darkness, to serve her own goals."
"What were those goals?"
"Her spell blocks me from speaking that as well. The blend of dark and light magic has made her far more powerful than she pretends to be."
"She has to be stopped. I will find out who she is and stop her. But I have one question I hope you can answer." Regina looked hopefully.
"I will try."
"Why me, why did you become so interested in my fate?"
Morgan and Mout smiled. "That we can answer." Mout began. "You were meant to be the savior, saving the Enchanted Forest from the darkness."
"Even with the curse on my family?"
"Yes, you were always meant to be the one that broke the curse. You were the one in your line that was finally born with a soulmate. We do not know the details of how, but the words we know of your curse is that the curse will be ended when a maiden is born with a soulmate. If she finds her soulmate she can begin the quest to end the curse. When the curse is broken she will become the light savior that defeats the darkness. That is all we know, and the fairy's spell blocks us from discovering more. But it does not block you. She clearly believed her spell was strong enough that you would never arrive here, and even if you tried you could not enter because you had been consumed by dark magic."
"Well, now I'm even more determined to end this curse and break the hold of darkness for good." Regina glared and seethed with righteous anger.
"There's another reason as well" Morgan touched Regina's shoulder.
"What?"
"There are variant stories of all of us. Mout and I discovered this when our powers joined to create Avalon. We saw many different paths we might have taken. In most we were drawn to each other, except in the ones where we were born at very different times. In one you were my daughter. You grew up on Avalon, as did you, Robin, the child of an early sanctuary seeker. You two were very happy and lived out your lives here, raising your children. You were not the light savior in that one, Regina, merely my daughter."
"It would have been a much better life, except no Henry, no Roland…."
"Your children are all also connected to you. They would have been different, but in that life, you would have all of them, raising them here. I do not know of your other story paths, but that one, I do. It is certainly written in one of the author's books somewhere. "
"We saw his books, they were all empty but ours."
"To you they were empty, and even to your son when he began to be the author, but as the pen gained trust in him it would allow him to see all the many stories."
"So Henry can read all those blank looking books now?"
"Likely, if he wishes."
"Perhaps it's wise we can't. It would be painful to see a different us having a life of joy." Robin looked at Regina solemnly.
"Painful, but hopeful as well. It's not always pain or even doom for us." Regina looked at him tenderly. "I'm happy to know that in one story path we had a beautiful idyllic life, even if it's not this one."
"Then I am as well. Perhaps Henry can find the story for us then and tell us what it says, when we get back to Storybrooke."
"I'd like that."
Finally, late the next day, after many hours of searching through books, Regina cried out "Robin! This is it. I found it!"
He dropped the book he'd been reading and raced to her side. "I know where that road is, the Merry Men and I used it a few times as an escape route."
"From my soldiers or Nottingham?"
"Both." He grinned. "If you can get us back to somewhere near your castle I can get us to that road."
"I can." She nodded. "Okay, three creatures we encounter, not much detail, but a clue. They will guide us where we need to go. " She sighed. "Not as much information as I hoped, but enough. We'll leave at dawn."
"Morgan's spell will have ended. I'll just be a voice in your head again." Robin looked sadly at her.
"That would have been the case, anyway, once we left the barrier, even if we left tonight. Staying here over night means we can touch…" Her hand reached up to draw his head down to hers. They kissed longingly, then drew back slightly in their embrace. "…for one more night. I don't want to give up a moment of that."
"Nor I." He smiled gently, then smirked and lifted her in his arms. "Shall I carry you to our room, milady?"
"Yes, my thief." A giggle bubbled out, even though she blushed lightly at being paraded for all to see, in his arms, with no mistaking their intent.
