Chapter 32: Tying Loose Ends

As Sakura walked toward Tsunade's office, she could think only one thing: she would face Danzo the day after tomorrow. Not only would she face him, but she would also play a significant role in his death. After that, she would wear the blame for his murder as a medal of her mental instability, which had become painfully apparent to the prying public over the past several years.

In two days, Sakura would sit atop every bounty hunter's most-wanted list. Proving both herself and Itachi wrong, every bingo book would print a bold S next to her name with partiality toward neither "selfish" nor "strength." In both written and spoken word, she would be the worst kind of criminal.

The Hokage's door sat open today, so Sakura walked in without knocking and closed the door behind her. Tsunade set down her paperwork and looked grimly at her pupil; she knew the reason behind her unannounced visit.

"You're here about Danzo," Tsunade stated.

Sakura nodded. "I'm going to take the blame for his death."

The Hokage dropped her head into her hands and rubbed her eyes. "I was afraid you were going to say that."

"Sasuke just came home and Naruto's still recovering. I'm the person in the best position to leave the village with a chance to still return someday."

"I can't argue with the facts, Sakura." Tsunade looked up at her student. "But, that doesn't mean that I won't ask you to stay anyway."

Sakura forced herself not to waver at her teacher's hopes. This was something that she had to do.

"I also believe that I'm in the best position to capitalize on my time away from the village, shishou."

Tsunade waited patiently with tired eyes to hear what her student had to offer.

"Taking the blame for Danzo's assassination would put me in a unique position to join the Akatsuki as a spy." The Hokage looked something between thoughtful and nauseous, but she continued anyway. "I would be an S-rank criminal with a unique set of skills. They'll know that I trained with the Fifth Hokage before becoming a crazed criminal with self-destructive tendencies and I'll certainly gain instant infamy from killing a village elder. All feelings aside, we both know that they love that sort of sickness. They're going to be looking for me faster than I can run from them."

A long and heavy silence hung between them as the Hokage contemplated her student's request. Sakura knew that her reasoning was undeniably solid. Ironically, the death of the greatest intelligence organization's founder could strengthen the village's infiltration of their most worrisome threat.

"That would be an incredibly dangerous mission, Sakura…" Tsunade gulped. "But, I know that you can handle it. If my permission is what you're looking for, you have it under two conditions. First, this mission needs to be top secret—you can't even talk to Team 7 about it. I'm sure that they'll figure it out on their own, but they can't know the details. Second, you need to come home when the mission is over. Even if we're gaining a greater foothold in the Akatsuki by doing this, we're losing a wonderful young woman while you're away."

Sakura's eyes watered, but she held back any tears that wanted to overflow. "Thank you, shishou. You're the best teacher I could have ever asked for."

"I'm fortunate to have watched my student grow into such a remarkable person. You've been through so much, Sakura, but you've come out so strong. I often wish that I could have done more for you over the past five years, but when I see the person you've become, I know that you did well for yourself and had the strength to do it on your own."

Tsunade sniffed and wiped her eyes before standing up, walking around her desk, and pulling her student into a bone-cracking hug. Sakura had thought she was not going to cry, but here she stood hugging her lifelong teacher with tears sopping out of her eyes as if someone had planted two oversaturated sponges in their sockets.

"You've always been my role model, shishou—I might've never known what real strength looked like without you in my life. Thank you for everything." She choked a little. "Thank you."

"We'll miss you, Sakura." Tsunade gave her student one last squeeze. "Thank you for your invaluable, selfless, and continued service to our village. We're lucky to have you."


When she walked into the flower shop, it was so crowded with customers that she debated whether she should return later. But, just as Sakura turned around to leave, she reminded herself that there really would be no later time.

Sakura politely took her place in line and offered Ino a goofy grin when her time for service arrived.

"Hi, Ms. Yamanaka, may I please see the flowers in the back room?"

A nosy customer chimed in from behind her, "There are flowers in the back room?"

"W-what? There are no flowers in the back room," Ino replied, looking flustered.

Sakura wore an innocent smile and urged, "Of course there are! The special flowers that you keep back there."

With a sudden realization of Sakura's intentions, Ino's eyebrow twitched in irritation. She walked around the counter and began to forcefully drag Sakura out of sight.

"Oh, yes, Ms. Haruno. How could I forget? Right this way."

Ino shut the door behind them so quickly that she had forgotten to turn on the light before trapping them both in darkness. As each of them fumbled for the location of the light switch, Ino ran into Sakura's face with her hand and Sakura rammed her elbow into Ino's stomach while trying to steady herself. By the time Ino found the switch, they both looked far less kempt than when they had entered the room.

Despite Sakura's ruse, there were no flowers in the back room—it was simply a small closet filled with cleaning supplies and extra tools. It was very unglamorous in comparison to what the chattering customers likely imagined. She could only hope that Ino would get questions about the back room for years to come.

Ino's initial glare faded as she realized what an urgent visit from Sakura likely meant. Sakura's playful grin disappeared, too, and the small space took on a different air.

Sakura attempted to smile again and awkwardly scratched her head. "Well, I bet you know that I didn't come here for flowers. I'm really here to say thanks for being such an awesome friend. And that, when we see each other next—whenever that might be—well, I hope that we can pick up right where we left off."

Immediately, Ino's eyes watered with unrestrained tears. Her arms reached out to shake Sakura.

"Quit it with that coy tone of voice! I know that you're tougher than that and you need everyone else to be damn sure, too!" Ino urged.

Sakura had sworn that this would be less tearful than her last goodbye, but here she stood laughing out tears like a blubbering, emotionally confused fool. She cried because they were saying goodbye, but laughed because Ino was right: timid speech would get her nowhere but in an early grave after joining the criminal world.

"I'm lucky to have a friend who still looks out for me after all of these years," Sakura said with a smile.

Ino grinned. "You sure are! I don't know what you'd do without me, Forehead."

"You're so full of yourself, Ino-pig!"

They both burst into a fit of chuckles at their childhood nicknames and wiped away their tears.

Once their laughter subsided, Sakura pulled Ino into a hug and requested, "Hold down the fort for me, Ino. Keep my teammates in check for me while I'm away—you know how they are. They need someone tough to make them behave."

"I'll do my best. I'm sure that they'll be looking to stir up as much trouble as possible without you around to stop them." Ino's breath caught for a moment, but she continued, "I'm going to miss you so much. Whatever you end up doing out there… watch your back. I just—I just hope that you find the happiness that you deserve while you're away."

Sakura stood there stunned for a moment before a knock on the door startled them both out of their stupor; they had forgotten about the line of waiting customers. They both wiped their eyes and faces clean before exiting the storage room as quickly as possible.

"Sorry about the wait!" Ino apologized with an undetectably false smile, "How may I help you?"

Without looking back, Sakura wove her way through the customers and out the door of the flower shop. She was feeling unexpectedly shaken. She knew that leaving her friends behind would be no easy task, but it was turning out to be a lot harder than she had even imagined.


Sakura showed up for training very late today. She was so late that even Kakashi had arrived before her. After all, she had spent the entire morning visiting Tsunade and Ino.

"Sorry I'm so late!" she announced, "I'm not here to train today, but I wanted to see everybody one last time."

Kakashi looked up from his book and Naruto and Sasuke halted their taijutsu sparring. For once in her life, Sakura had their undivided attention. It felt peculiar, but she was prepared to make as much use of it as possible.

"I've spoken to Tsunade and it's official: I'll be leaving the village in two days. This was already my intention, but I now do it with the permission of the Hokage. While I'm away, I'm going to miss you all very much." Sakura walked over to Kakashi and gave him a hug. "Thank you, sensei, for being a wonderful teacher all of these years. You've always done your best to keep us together. And I forgave you a long time ago for what you did."

"Thank you, Sakura," Kakashi murmured, "Team 7 won't be the same without you."

Sakura let him go and smiled at her teacher. Next, she walked over to Naruto, ruffled his hair, and wrapped him in the fiercest hug she had ever given him.

"I'm so happy to have you back, Naruto. Konoha wasn't the same without you. You're my favorite goofball in the whole wide world—don't change while I'm away."

As she dropped her arms to pull away, Naruto pulled her into another hug.

He sniffled and exclaimed, "I promise I won't! It's killing me to let you go after we all just got back together. But I know that you're just doing what you have to do. Just make sure that you come home with some crazy stories, okay?"

"I'm sure I will," she laughed.

They separated and she turned toward Sasuke. Her heart started pounding with anxiety. Would he even accept a meaningful goodbye?

Just as she took her first step forward, he held his hand up.

"I want to talk to you alone."

"Oh. Okay. You can walk back to my apartment with me if you don't mind cutting your training short for the day," she offered.

"…Hn." Taking that as affirmation, Sakura turned to Naruto and Kakashi.

"Alright. Well, be nice to each other while I'm gone and be sure to train a lot!"

Kakashi nodded and Naruto proclaimed, "I bet I'll even be Hokage by the time you get back!"

Sakura beamed at them one last time before turning to leave—she could not look back, or else she might not follow through with her intentions. She could not forsake her plans now because they would keep Naruto safe, protect Konoha, and give her the self-exploration that she needed and truly deserved. Plus, she would do all of this while making sure that the first hope Itachi had felt in a long time would not be squandered. Even if her teammates did not know it yet, the next time they met would be as overt enemies—this was the price of it all.

As Sakura walked away, she heard Sasuke's quiet footsteps following closely behind her. She said nothing because she knew that he would speak when he found the right words. When he was not angry and the topic was one shrouded in vulnerability, Sasuke spoke carefully.

For the sake of absorbing the village as much as she could with her remaining time, she walked slowly today. She noticed every tree, every cobblestone, and every chirping bird. Just as she spotted an old stone bench out of the corner of her eye, Sasuke gently placed his hand on her shoulder.

"Let's talk here," he requested.

"Sure," she agreed.

Sasuke walked over to the bench and sat down. Upon recognizing the significance of their location, she paused.

He sighed upon seeing her hesitation. "I'm sorry about what I did the last time we were here—I thought it was the best course of the action at the time. In retrospect, I can see that it did more harm than good."

For a moment, she froze. She was still not out of fear, but rather shock. He was apologizing to her—without solicitation—for what he had done many years ago. He had done many things here, from knocking her unconscious to leaving the village, so she had to wonder about which part he was apologizing. She could not help but to shake her head.

"Hearing you apologize is so unusual that it'd be wasteful for me to reject it," Sakura replied.

Sakura smirked as she walked over and sat beside him. She could not help but to smile a little, too.

After a few moments of silence, her teammate turned to her and asked, "Is there anything I can do to make you stay?"

She might have thought that he was joking if Sasuke had ever joked and if his face had not been so stonily serious. In this peculiar moment, the world had done such a jerking reversal that she was having trouble reorienting herself. The person who she had once begged to stay was now doing the same to her.

"I'm sorry, Sasuke… but this is something that I have to do—for the village, for the team, for your brother and…" She pressed her lips together, finding everything hard to say aloud. "For myself."

He shook his head. "I don't understand what this has to do with my brother. I really don't. But, whatever it is, it can't possibly mean more than a lifetime of being teammates. When I left, you, Naruto, and Kakashi were the only people who cared. You were the one who cared the most, though. Naruto told me what you sounded like in his hospital room five years ago and you can't tell me that you'd have been that way if you hadn't cared."

Sakura frowned at him with watery eyes, knowing that she could not keep the blunt truth from him anymore. She hardly believed that he would accept what she had to say, but it was her responsibility to at least say it.

"I lost everything five years ago, Sasuke. You lost everything once, too, so you must know what it felt like. I was the only remaining member of Team 7 and Kakashi separated himself from me as penance for, in his mind, failing as a leader. I lost everything five years ago. But, after my time with your brother, I can't pretend that I don't care about him," Sakura confessed.

Sasuke took in a deep breath and stared at her, as if wishing and waiting for her to say more. However, she had nothing left to say—she cared about both Team 7 and Itachi, but she cared about them in different ways.

"I can't change whatever you feel for my brother and if you feel that leaving is the best for you, then I won't question that. So, this means that there is nothing that I can do to make you stay?" he reaffirmed.

She pressed her lips together and nodded. She knew that there was nothing that anyone could do to make her stay at this point—short of dying or falling ill, that is—but it was strange to directly profess her intentions. Even more strangely, her profession did not change the determination in his face one bit.

"If I can't make you stay, then can I come with you?"

If Sakura had been holding something, she would have dropped it. Their location had already been relevant, but now its relevance took on a flavor that made her nauseous—he was truly asking of her what she had once asked of him.

"Sasuke, I—no. No , you can't come with me."

He turned away from her. "I understand."

"I'm sorry, Sasuke, but I'm going on a solo, unranked mission after I leave. I just can't take anybody with me and, really, I shouldn't even be telling you this," she explained.

"I understand, Sakura. But, don't think for a minute that I won't try as hard to bring you back as you and Naruto did to bring me home once you're gone."

Sakura was utterly stunned—she had no idea how to respond. She was afraid that Naruto would try to bring her back, but she had never considered that Sasuke would join in his quest with any level of feigned interest, nevertheless honest determination. She would ask if he was serious, but she knew that he was not prone to wasting words.

"I'll come home when I'm done with my mission. When everything is resolved, I'll come home," she promised. Even though she said the words with conviction, she secretly hoped that she was not making promises she could not keep.

Sasuke turned to her with an arched eyebrow. "And what if you never complete your mission?"

It was a good question. What if she and Itachi never gained the intel or the upper hand necessary to annihilate the Akatsuki? Now that Sasuke had said it aloud, she wondered if Tsunade had worried about this danger, too. As much as she disliked the notion, she had to admit to herself that never returning home was a true possibility. However, even that possibility did not deter Sakura from her decision.

"If I never complete my mission, then I won't be able to return home. You know that's a risk any time someone leaves the village for a mission—I might never come home. Even if I don't like it, it's a risk that I can live with."

He scoffed. "Well, you can throw your life away, but don't expect others to be happy about it."

"I was in your position once, Sasuke. Trust me—I know the feeling. But this decision wasn't made on a vengeful whim; it was made after long deliberation on what I need to do for myself and what the consequences of this decision mean for me and the people I love."

"I get it. There's nothing that will change your mind and nothing that will stop you. But, when our paths inevitably cross again, I'll go all-out to bring you back. Because I think that we both know that your promise won't mean much otherwise. Unranked missions aren't unranked because there's a cushy plan, good odds, and an end date in sight. They're unranked because everything is unknown, the odds are dismal, and any end date is questionable."

Sakura rolled her eyes. "I know all of that. And I still chose to say yes! You know why? Because I am strong. I can handle the unknown, the dismal, and the questionable. You may not want to believe it, but I can handle everything that's in store—even if it's death."

"That's great that you can handle it, Sakura. But what about the people you'll leave behind?"

He had a point. In a way, what she was doing was selfish. But, the selfish part of her—that little, basic human flaw that resided deep within her—was comfortable with that selfishness in this instance.

"I know that the people I'd leave behind are strong enough to carry on. There was a time when I was left behind. And you know what I did? I found a way to survive. Looking back, it wasn't the healthiest existence, but it worked for me. In the end, I came out so much stronger than when I started. And I know that the people I love, the people who I'd be leaving behind, are capable of doing the exact same thing."

Sasuke grimaced and she knew that he was out of arguments. It was not a possibility that anybody wanted to consider, but she knew that the people she loved were resilient enough to carry on and carry on well.

"If this is your decision, then there is nothing left for me to say," he admitted.

She frowned. "Yes there is. You could say 'goodbye.'"

He turned to her with a scowl that left her expecting a cold response, but instead, Sasuke pulled her into a tight hug. She was so surprised that it took her a moment to return the embrace.

"I'm sure you've gotten the same tired advice from everyone else. 'Stay safe, come home, I'll miss you, goodbye,'" he snorted sarcastically before turning serious, "But I have something different to say: you'd better be ready for me because I'm going to make sure that we run into each other. Even after you leave, this isn't goodbye because I'll see you soon."

They pulled apart from their hug as Sakura stupidly attempted to blink away her confusion.

"Before then, I'll meet you at your apartment at dawn in two days. We have work to do."

Before she had a chance to reply, he disappeared. She had imagined their goodbye ending with him disappearing—Sasuke never was good with emotional moments. They had finished exchanging their last private words before her departure.

Sakura breathed a sigh of relief. Saying goodbye to her friends had been incredibly difficult. However, now that it was over with, she could use the rest of her time in the village for practical matters: converting all of her money to liquid funds, making sure she had an above-adequate amount of food pills, and gathering what few personal items she wanted to bring along with her. There was a lot left to do.


At the end of her busy day, Sakura went home that night and wrote her final windowsill letter. It was not a detailed response, but she was too short on time and energy to offer much more. Their recent letters had not been anything of much substance because Sakura did not want to let anything cloud her judgment as she ultimately decided what to do.

Despite its brevity, this one was dense with substance. In three simple words, Sakura said it all.

See you soon.


A/N:

Thank you all for reading and a special thanks to those who waited so patiently for this update. Also, many thanks to those who have taken the time to review-your encouragement is very kind. We are very close to the end, so I hope to have the final chapters posted within the next couple months.

Have a lovely evening,

A