Outside it was one of those damp mornings, but the sun seemed to intend to stay for the whole day. At the moment, though, it was still fighting the last bits of fog that tried to keep the streets grey.

There weren't much people around at that hour, and the few that one could find were either too sleepy or too drunk to notice anything. So nobody saw the woman clad in men's clothes that walked those streets, going slower and slower with each step that she took, until she reached a alleyway and couldn't walk anymore.

Leaning on the wall, Namie tried to get her breathing back to normal. Although the wound was almost painless by now and didn't really risk to reopen, she had spent too long in Shinra's apartment, without walking no more than the distance from her room to the bathroom, the kitchen and the living room sofa. The most exercise she had had those days had been… Well, that didn't matter now. The thing was that now, even though she had only gone as far as one street, she was absolutely exhausted.

So tired she was that she only wanted to lay down… And her body seemed to be taking the decision to do it by itself. She felt her knees bending and the floor coming closer, and she just didn't have the energy to do anything about it… She could only close her eyes and hope for the hit not to be a too hard one.

And it wasn't. She had hit something thin but soft, something which seemed to be wrapping around herself and making her stand up. She opened her eyes to find that Izaya was once again holding her. He had appeared at the very moment in which she had started to fall, just in time to take her.

'What are you doing!?'

Namie had never seen him that angry before, not even when they had had that argument some days back. But he wasn't just mad: he was also worried, sad, anxious. His breathing was fast and his cheeks bright red due to the running.

Namie tried to push him away, and hesitation almost made him let go of her, but his wanting of answers had him hold her firmly. He repeated his question.

'I'm running away.', she finally answered.

'From what?'

'From you!'

That froze him on the spot, and she got away from his grip. Still, she didn't leave.

Izaya just stared at her.

'You've done it again, haven't you?', Namie accused him, trying to look angry, but she only sounded like she was nervous. 'You manipulate people for a living and as a hobby; it seems like it was only a matter of time that you did the same to me and you finally achieved it, right?'

'Wrong!', he denied immediately. 'What are you even talking about? You think I've manipulated you?'

'I can't think of any other reason why I would behave like I did!', she said. 'I… wasn't myself…'

She didn't sound very sure about it. Izaya thought then that Namie seemed to be confused, and he was right: she was having trouble to understand herself. As she had said, she hadn't been herself; not only the night before, but those days she had been recovering. Even Izaya wasn't quite the same, but she hadn't really realized that yet, which was why she had thought when she woke up that morning that maybe he had worked his mind tricks on her.

'I can actually think of one reason.', said Izaya quietly.

Namie looked at him as if she didn't understand what he meant by that, until it dawned on her a second later, and she couldn't help to blush despite herself. Because actually, the possibility had crossed her mind too, but she had discarded it immediately, thinking it impossible. Or rather, not wanting to admit it.

'Listen,', Izaya continued, 'do you really think you're like one of my pawns, that I can trick you? Because that's ridiculous. I can assure you that the Yagiri Namie I know is nothing of the sort. She's no one to act according to another but her own will.'

Namie wanted to answer, but words failed her. She didn't find a way to refute his argument. It was hard to do so when she actually didn't fully believe on her own accusation; when she thought too grandly of herself to think that someone could really tamper with her mind or actions.

She really wanted to answer, but instead she could only look at Izaya with eyes of fear. Not fear of him but of herself, being right now the most confused she had ever been in her life.

'I want to believe that,', she managed to say after a while, 'but I've seen you done it dozens of times to dozens of unsuspecting people. I just can't help to wonder whether I'm like them or not. And the possibility that I might be makes me want to run away from you.'

'Namie…', he started, taking a step towards her, but she interrupted him.

'How can I know you haven't tricked me?', she asked. 'How can I know it's not a big, elaborated lie, one only you could pull off?'

He was now as much at a loss for words as she had just been. That feeling he had had when she had got stabbed, the one of her going to leave his side, was creeping inside him once again. He felt that whatever he answered would make the difference between her staying and her leaving. And now that he knew how it felt to lose her, and how it felt to have her, he simply didn't want to let her go. But he couldn't find what words to say.

'I think your silence is quite eloquent.', she said.

She started to walk away slowly, but as she passed by his side he grabbed her arm lightly, like he had moved by instinct.

'You said you want to believe me,', he said, 'shouldn't that be enough?'

He was looking at her with almost pleading eyes, a look she had never seen on him.

'If you say you want to believe me it must be that you're running away for some other reason.', he added. 'So why?'

She lowered her head, not really wanting to answer.

'For one,', she finally said, 'we are both too self-destructive. I don't think anything good could come of this.'

'We were too self-destructive. You know that began to end long ago; you must've noticed.', he reminded her.

'Alright, I'll give you that.', admitted Namie. 'But is not the only thing.'

The other reason was harder for her to say; Izaya could tell so by the look on her face, and he started to suspect what it was.

'You mean him, right?', he muttered, sounding almost angry.

'You already knew about that…'

He let her arm loose and turned his back on her all of a sudden, as if he had ran out of patience and was giving up on her. He faced her then, looking both angry and disappointed.

'But why?', he shouted, 'Why? He only remembers you when he needs something; he doesn't even thank you for what you do for him, and you have done pretty much EVERYTHING for him! You even took care of his attempt of murder and turned it into a girlfriend for him, for crying out loud! And has he ever said as much as "Thanks"? He doesn't even call you by your name, Namie, so tell me why would you fixate on him!?'

'Because it's easier that way!', she snapped.

They stared at each other. Izaya was breathless, and Namie's eyes were watery.

'I know all that,', she told him, 'but it's easier for me to live like this. I know what to expect. That way… That way I can't get hurt.'

If Shinra had been there that moment, he would have said that Namie was just like Izaya.

And Izaya himself realized that.

'But aren't you exhausted?', he asked her with a sad tone.

Namie looked at him, not knowing what to say. She hadn't expected that question.

'Because when you talked about your family… You did sound really tired.'

'Even so…', she muttered, 'you can't expect me to change just like that, after all these years… I can't just forget about it.'

'Last night I would have said you had.', said Izaya quietly.

She looked him in the eyes.

'I don't even know if this is what I want.'

'And you think you'll find out by fleeing?'

Once again she couldn't find what to say. Her confusion was starting to dissipate, but she still couldn't help to doubt.

'Why would you want this, though?', she blurted. 'I'm a mess, and you're a mess, so why?'

He was taken aback by the sudden question, and he didn't know what to answer at first. But he soon realized what he wanted to say.

He took a step towards her, and looked at her intently.

'Because the last thought I had when I got stabbed was of you.'

A dense silence followed. The morning breeze made Izaya's hair wave slightly. He didn't even blink, and Namie was gaping at him. Everything except for him was blurry now.

'You're lying.', she said, with a voice so low it was almost inaudible.

'You should know by now that I only lie to myself.', he replied.

She did know that. She was one of the very few people who knew. But that was not the reason why she believed him; it was because of what she had told him the night before: he was the only one who thought about her.

'I can't be the only one who has doubts.', said Namie after a while. 'How are so sure about this? Aren't you scared?'

'I would be scared if the scariest thing hadn't already happened.' Seeing her confusion about that answer, he added: 'I thought I lost you once. Now I know how that feels I don't want to let you go.'

She shut her lips tight, and the lower one trembled. For a second Izaya thought he had somehow made her angry, until she bumped her head against his chest and just stayed there.

Not sure about what to do then, Izaya carefully rested his hands on her waist. Since she didn't seem bothered by it, he locked his arms around her.

'You're making this really difficult and you're an asshole for it.', she said then, her head still against him.

'I was going for cute, but okay.', he replied.

She smiled at that.

Izaya raised her chin lightly with his index finger. After a second looking at each other, Namie approached her face towards his, and he immediately reacted. She was a bit surprised at his rushing to kiss her, but she understood it as him wanting to be the first to do so this time, so she just wrapped her arms around his neck, and kissed him back.

Long after, they finally broke the kiss. By that time, the sun was already up completely, but they were still pretty much alone at the street.

Izaya took a strand of Namie's hair and put it behind her ear.

'You know…', he said, 'At first I thought that you left because maybe I had, well, hurt you.'

'More like the opposite.', Namie chuckled.

'Oh, really?', he smiled, getting closer again.

'What about me, did I hurt you?', she asked playfully.

'Well, I would give you the same answer you just gave me if you hadn't bitten my earlobe.'

'Right, sorry about that.'

'No, don't be.', said Izaya, kissing her once again.
After a while, they looked at each other, and they knew it was time.

'Shall we go back, then?', asked Izaya.

Namie nodded, and they started walking towards Shinra's apartment.

'By the way, Namie.', said Izaya.

'Yes?'

'What on earth are you wearing? Are those Shinra's clothes?'

She was wearing a white shirt and a pair of black trousers that were obviously too big on her, and she had had to tie a belt on them to keep them from falling down. She also had a white lab coat serving as a trench coat of sorts.

'Yes, it was the only clothing I could find.', she answered. 'Well, not the only one; I did find some clothes that seemed to belong to the dullahan, but I didn't think them... appropriate.'

'Ah. I see.', Izaya laughed. 'Shinra, you perv.', he thought.

Funnily enough, Shinra pretty much accused him of the same thing when they got back to the apartment, and since Namie would stay a few more days because the doctor was quite paranoid her wound would open because of what had happened (even though it was perfectly fine), he had forbid Izaya to get close to her room.

An order both Izaya and Namie were happy to disobey.