Chapter Eight

Patrick took a moment to think before he answered her. "Robin, I want you to know that I have never stopped loving you."

"But it wasn't enough, was it?" Robin had thought she didn't have any tears left but she was wrong. "That love wasn't enough to make you question why I was staying away? Why I wouldn't come home when you were losing your son or when our daughter was hurt? That love wasn't enough for you to question why I would tell you I am broken."

Patrick ran his hand through his hair. "You're right and, looking back, I can see all the signs I missed. You wouldn't look at me when I got to the clinic, the desperation in your voice when you called me and told me you were broken…"

"But instead of looking for me you moved on with Sam." Robin wiped her eyes. "You moved another woman into our house and into our bed. You," she sighed, "you replaced me."

"Robin, no, no one could ever replace you." Patrick slid closer to her but she backed away. "I needed to convince myself that you didn't love me anymore – it was the only way I could justify you being gone."

"When did I say that?" Robin looked at him in confusion. "I never told you I didn't love you anymore."

"Your actions said it Robin. Not coming home, signing the divorce papers, moving to Paris, all said to me that you didn't love me anymore."

"I didn't file for divorce – you did. And I didn't want to divorce you, Helena forced me to sign those papers. As for not coming home and moving to Paris, those were not my choices and you know it." Robin shook her head. "I just, I just thought you would realize that something was wrong. I thought you knew me better than anyone and would be able to tell that I was in trouble."

"And I should have but I was blinded by my grief over Gabriel."

"The child I helped kill." Robin turned away from him, not wanting to see that hate in his eyes.

"God no Robin, you had nothing to do with that. Victor killed Gabriel, not you." Patrick put his hand on her shoulder and gently turned her back around. "I need you to know that I do not blame you for his death, not at all."

"Patrick…"

"Robin, you are the victim here and everyone knows that." Patrick took her hand again. "I will never forgive myself for not seeing the trouble you were in…"

Robin stood up and began pacing the room. "Why didn't you?"

"What?" He was caught off by her question.

"You knew when I was lying to you about being with Nikolas when Jerry was forcing us to pretend to be a couple. You knew that I was lying to you about being Emma's father when I got pregnant. For years, you have told me that I am a lousy liar so how could you not see how much trouble I was in or how scared I was?" Robin's questions were not spoken in anger, just genuine curiosity.

"I don't know." Patrick got off the couch and walked over to her. "I wish I could give you a logical reason or say I was being brainwashed but the truth is I was so distracted by what was going on at home that I ignored what you were saying and doing."

Robin stared out the window. "And Sam?"

"I won't lie – I loved Sam but I was never in love with her." Patrick put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her close, resting his chin on the top of her head. "I have only been in love with one woman and that is you."

Robin nodded her head. "I understand but I need a little time – I can't just jump back into our lives like nothing happened. I will move back into the house but I think I should stay in the guest room for now."

"No." Patrick rubbed her back as he spoke to her. "I will move into the guest room."

"Patrick, I don't think I can sleep in the same bed that you and Sam…"

"Oh," Patrick realized what Robin was saying, "I will order a new bed and have it moved in before we get home and then you will take the master bedroom while I sleep in the guest room. Okay?"

Robin thought about it for a minute before answering him. "Okay." She turned around and looked at him. "I need you to know that I do love you but I…"

"I understand and I will wait for you." Patrick hugged her close. "I will wait for you as long as you need. I lost you twice before Robin and I will never lose you again."

Robin closed her eyes and just let him hold her. It wasn't much but it was enough for now.