A Very Dark Place, Tug-o-War, Wistful Winds & Promises
Mac'IlleMhìcheil Estate – Gathering Meadow
After breakfast everyone headed down to the gathering area for the tug-o-war competitions. The first division was for kids and it was broken down by ages. It was exciting to watch. They cheered on all the teams.
The women's single competition was before the group competition so most of them were seated in the soft grass surrounding the game area watching. Marsaili and Wynfreda had decided to compete in the singles but Heather, Jules and Cala did not. For as small as she was Marsaili did an awesome job in her weight class. She came in second.
Mason had gone over to congratulate her while the rest of them kicked back waiting for the women's team competition to begin. Both the gals and the guys were discussing their strategy for winning. However, strategy was really rather simple, pull harder than the other team. But picking the anchor of the team was crucial.
The anchor needed to the strongest member of the team that would be at the back of the rope. It was an absolute no brainer for the guys. Mason was the largest and strongest of them. Naturally he would be their anchor.
But the gals were trying to decide whether their anchor should be Cala or Wynfreda. They finally decided on Cala because she took after her brother in strength and was she was taller than the average woman.
Sam picked a long blade of grass and fiddled with it lost in his thoughts. Then he leaned back on his elbows and turned his face skyward. He took a long slow breath in enjoying the ease of breathing and the light fragrance of heather. Something he would not take for granted. Air was elemental, without air all was lost.
He had had too many brushes with lack of air in his life. Four such incidences popped to the forefront of his mind. Recovering from his lung injury had been the most difficult physically. He owed Jeff more than he could ever repay. Jeff had been a bastard and so hard on him making him crawl up those stairs. But it was the turning point in his recovery when he made it to the top. Jeff had done what was necessary even though it hurt Jeff to do it.
The second incident was in the fishing trawler. He and Jules had truly thought they were going to die together in that engine room. They had come to an uneasy peace that day knowing they would go together and neither would have to live without the other. But then he woke in the hospital and that damned orderly made it seem as if Jules had died. Which ironically, caused him to die, the shock was too much for him and his heart literally seized and refused to beat.
Last night was the third one he recalled. Again it was too close. Seeing the tears and pain in Jules' eyes was something he did not like seeing. Sam glanced at her now. She looked so happy and relaxed now playing with Lachlann. God he would love to have a child with Jules. They should really talk about it soon.
But the fourth memory where he nearly died from lack of air was the one that hit him hardest. For a very long time he had wished he had died. Sam had wished that he had been alone because he would have died without Dave's intervention. Dave had given him CPR until Jim arrived. Not that he recalled any of that but that is what the Colonel told him had happened.
Dave Haverlik had joined their unit after Mason got his own command after Yankee died. Yankee's death sent Colonel Sutton raging and that rarely happened. The Colonel decided that the men in Yankee's unit would be split up after the mission was FUBAR and Yankee was killed.
Mason had been promoted to command a unit because Winds turned it down wanting to remain second in command to Blaze. They had worked with Dave on and off when their unit did missions with Yankee's unit. So Blaze had requested Dave to replace Mason. Dave was a good fit.
Sam's mind took him back to a very dark place and time.
A Very Dark Place and Time – Terrorist Stronghold in Afghanistan
He was trudging to the stronghold with Haverlik. He and Dave were ordered to do the ids today by Major Plouffe. It was a joint mission with Hammer's unit and the Major had also come along and taken charge. That had rankled both Blaze and Hammer but they followed orders. Watchdog was still in his perch providing over-watch and the rest of the unit men were providing cover for him and Dave in case they had missed any targets.
Doing ids was the worst part of this job. None of the unit liked seeing the men they killed up close and personal. Identifying the targets was always difficult but a necessary part of their job. Often there wasn't enough left of the target to make an id. That would likely be the case today since he was sniping with a .50 cal from nearly two kilometers away.
As he and Dave neared the stronghold his gut was churning and he could not get the flash of green eyes out of his head. It had been the briefest of seconds. His target was kneeling as he lined up a shot on the back of the target's head. All he saw was the head behind the low wall that his target was kneeling behind. In the split second his finger squeezed the trigger the target's head had turned as the target stood up.
That's when he saw the flash of green. In the next instant he registered red and knew he hit his target in center mass instead of a head shot. He quickly moved onto the remaining targets. He had no time to linger, there were so many targets that needed to be taken out in this mission. He had taken out thirteen targets in rapid succession.
But that flash of green was so familiar and he could not get it out of his head. Dread was increasing the closer he got to the stronghold. He had wanted to make radio contact with Matt but Major Plouffe had ordered them to radio silence after taking down the targets.
Dave went left and he went right. He knew where he was heading first. He went straight towards the low wall target with the green eyes. Several westerners with blue and green eyes had joined the terrorists over the years. So it was possible the target just had green eyes.
But he had to know for sure and something was telling it was Matt. It shouldn't be. He had gotten the all clear to fire. But he couldn't hear music. The only sound he heard was his boots crunching on the dry desert sand and rocks.
He rounded the corner and saw. He saw but did not want to see. There was no mistaking it.
Matt laid in the field in a pool of blood. There was nothing left. Matt's brave heart was scattered in pieces too small to be distinguishable. Matt's chest was completely obliterated by the .50 cal.
He dropped to his knees near Matt's head. He looked at Matt's face. The passion for life that had burned in Matt's green eyes now reflected only sky.
Matt's fate was sealed. Sam's innocence died and his soul shrieked as it shredded.
He breathed in his despair as deep red seeped into his pants. Blood was the fragrance that hung in the air. Matt's life blood.
Throwing back his head, a loud agonizing, primal scream of pain too great to endure ripped from him and pierced the air for as long as he had breath.
He could not breathe in again. He had killed his brother. He had killed the one person that meant the most to him. The pain was too great. He could not breathe. His heart shattered and no longer beat as was only right. Then there was only black.
Mac'IlleMhìcheil Estate – Gathering Meadow
Jules watched a haunted look cloud Sam's eyes as he looked skyward. She felt a shiver as she saw the pain reflected him them. It hurt to look at his eyes.
She could only think of two things that might cause that look in his eyes. Sara or Matt. But she wondered what prompted him to think of them. He had seemed so happy only moments ago.
Jules gently put a hand on Sam's shoulder and softly said "Sam, where are you?"
Sam sucked in a deep breath at Jules' touch and words. Then he blew it out a bit shakily. He moved his head to look at Jules.
He carefully wrapped and tucked his painful memory of finding Matt's lifeless body away in the special box he built for it in his mind.
Jules caressed his face and leaned in close to whisper "You look like you saw a ghost. Are you okay?"
Sam nodded and sat up. "I'm okay. Sorry to worry you."
"You wanna talk?" Jules asked quietly.
Shaking his head no he said "No I'm good. You want a drink or something?"
"Sure" Jules answered knowing that Sam did not want to talk about whatever he had been thinking about. "Want me to go with you to get one?"
"Nah I'll bring you back something. How about an iced tea?"
"That sounds good" Jules answered then watched as Sam popped up and headed to the refreshment area. She sighed. Sam had endured so many trials and she was still amazed at how well he coped. His resilience was much greater than hers. What he dealt with would have surely broken her.
Lady Wilhemina had tapped into the young warrior's mind as she floated nearby. Such pain. Such sorrow. Such sacrifice. Wilhemina wanted to heal him. She wanted to take his pain away and leave only the good.
A radiant smile graced her face. She would bestow a blessing on this selfless warrior. The White Witch of the Loch would visit and ease his pain. Now she only had to decide when and where to allow the young warrior to see her.
Jules smiled at Sam and reached out for the tea he brought her. His smile was back but Jules could still see a small remnant of sadness. Whatever memory it was that sparked his pain was almost put away. It probably had something to do with last night. But she would not ask again.
Instead she smiled brightly and said "Thanks."
Sam sat down behind Jules so she was between his outstretched legs. Then he pulled her back so her back rested on his chest. He needed to touch Jules to dispel the last of the pain he had tucked away.
He smiled when she willingly leaned against him and Jules quipped "Such a comfy chair you are."
Sam was about to make a smart remark back when they heard the announcer saying the women's division was now to take the field. He reached around and hugged Jules, kissed her cheek and then said "Good luck."
Jules sat up and turned to Sam. She beamed as she said "This is gonna be fun." Then Jules gave Sam a quick peck on the cheek and hurried off with the other women.
Jim, Winds and Blaze all sat down around Sam and Blaze asked "So this creelin of the bridegroom we are gonna do to Mason. When are we gonna do it and what exactly is that?"
Sam grinned "Day after tomorrow; the night before their official wedding. As for what it is, we get to strip Mason down to his boxers. Cover him in oil or shoe blackening and feathers. Then we load a huge fishing creel, the type fishermen used to carry on their backs, full of rocks and strap it to his back. Then we let him loose in town and he has to search for his bride. If he finds her and he convinces her to give him a kiss then he can put down his load of rocks."
Blaze chuckled at the image that conjured "So what happens if Marsaili doesn't kiss him?"
Sam snorted "You know I forgot to ask. I don't think that is gonna be a problem though. Marsaili will kiss him for sure."
All four looked out and saw Mason locked in a kiss with Marsaili as if no one else existed in the world.
Winds said "After she kisses him I suggest we go to a pub and give him a real stag party."
Jim chimed in "I second that."
They all nodded. The closest town was an hour and a half drive but it would be well worth it and Marsaili would be having her hen party in town too.
The guys were some of the loudest ones cheering during the women's event. The gals advanced to the final round. It was very close. The other team almost pulled the flag over their line but then one of the women slipped on the grass. The gals took advantage and with concerted effort pulled the flag over their line.
The guys ran out on the field to congratulate them. Jules ran and jumped into Sam's waiting arms. Sam loved the look of vibrant life in her eyes. Competition always sparked her fire. He swung her around and then planted a solid kiss.
Lunch was a boisterous affair as the girls relived their win. It was clear that Sam, Jim and Mason were alight with joy for their wives.
Winds sat back and watched. He wistfully thought, someday I'll find the right woman. She would have to be someone who accepted that the military was his life and what gave him a sense of purpose and a reason for being. It was who he was and he would never be happy doing anything else.
He had been in love once. She had wholly rejected who he was and called him a warmonger. Her tone was waspish and wrathful when she told him she had wasted her time on him. That had hurt a lot.
For many years he had licked his wounds and wore a woven a mantle of someone who did not want to marry. That mantle was rather threadbare now. But he still wore his mantle of a confirmed bachelor so no one could see what he really longed for.
What Winds really longed for was a relationship like Blaze had with Lizzy, like Jim had with Heather, like Mason had with Marsaili and like Blondie had with Jules. He longed for a strong, warmhearted woman to ease his loneliness and share his life. Winds longed for a woman whom he could hold and protect and love.
Blaze looked over at Winds. He saw that far away and woebegone look more and more these days. Blaze began to suspect that his best friend and brother was not such a confirmed bachelor as he led everyone to believe he was.
After lunch the men's teams took the field for tug-o-war. There were many more teams competing. The guys donned their gloves and headed out for their first match with well wishes and kisses from all the girls.
Wynfreda had even given Winds a kiss on the cheek. She was finding that Winds was a very nice man and she liked him a lot; as a friend. He was still too old for her but her mind began to ponder if there were any of her friends that might go for him. He was a worthy warrior for the right woman.
Two hours later the guys had made it into the semifinal round. The next team they would face off against was a team of giants like Mason.
Sam had downed lots of water to stay hydrated but had to run to the restroom between the last round and the semifinal round. He was jogging over to join the guys and saw that the guys had already picked up the rope and were adjusting their grips. They called to him to and urged him to run.
He poured on the speed and joined them just as the judge called "Ready. Set."
Not having time to get into his normal place, Sam grabbed the rope behind Mason. Mason was their anchorman but Sam had to have a hold on the rope before the judge called go. If he did not have both his hands on the rope when that happened he was not allowed to join his team in pulling.
So by circumstance Sam became their anchorman for this round. In front of him were Mason, then Blaze, Winds and Jim. It truly was a tug-o-war. The flag did not move more than a few inches one way or another for the first five minutes of the match.
Then the flag alternated between being close to their line and close to the other team's line. All ten men were straining their arm and leg muscles. Back and forth the flag went for another ten minutes. All of them were waning in strength.
Sam dug the heels of his bare feet into the ground. The organizers had decided to observe ancient custom and have the competitors go bare footed like Highlanders had done for hundreds of years. The ground was soft and clear of things that might prick the bottoms of their feet though.
They were all concentrating so hard on anchoring and pulling each time they gained a bit of turf that slackness in the line caught the guys unaware. One of the other team was spent and had lessened his pulling. It was just enough that the others on his team could no longer hold the line.
With the slackness the flag sailed over their line proclaiming them winners. But they had been so concentrated on pulling that when the line went slack they all toppled backwards losing their balance and footing.
It looked like dominos falling over as Jim fell into Winds, Winds fell into Blaze, Blaze fell into Mason, and Mason fell into Sam.
Sam fell into the ground with the weight of the other four on top of him. The wind from Sam's lungs was expelled with a forceful whoosh.
Mason, Blaze, Winds and Jim were laughing at their win as they rolled to their knees and stood up. Each was wiping the dirt off their butts when they all noticed something was missing. Blondie's voice was not among their laughter. They turned as one to look.
"Ah crap we flattened Blondie" Mason called out and dropped to his knees.
Jim was the second one down on his knees and checked Sam's pulse. He could see Sam's eyes were open but he was dazed.
The shock of the weight had stunned Sam and once the wind was knocked out of him he was trying to figure out how to get it back in. Finally, he sucked in a deep breath. The wooziness cleared as he got more breaths in. Damn. Air again.
Sam looked up at Mason and stated firmly "Not carrying me for a fourth time."
Mason laughed "Then stop your woolgathering and get your butt up off the ground."
Sam sat up on his elbows and took several more deep breaths "I wager you guys weigh a full ton."
Blaze stuck out a hand to help Blondie and Sam reached up to grab it. Sam was pulled upright and when he wobbled a bit Winds stabilized him with a hand on his elbow.
Jim looked at him squarely "Injury report?"
Sam answered "Squashed and wind knocked out of me but I'm okay." He rubbed his chest absently. Muscles were gonna ache tomorrow he thought.
Blaze asked "Ribs okay?"
Nodding Sam answered "Like I told Jim I'm okay." Seeing the worried looks he added "When have you known me not to tell Jim the truth."
They all sighed with relief. Blondie was always truthful with Jim about injuries. It was a damned good thing he was.
Sam said "So now onto the final round."
The guys nodded and Mason said "But you are not anchor man."
Sam arched his brows, rolled his eyes and guffawed "Copy that."
In the end the other team won the final tug-o-war battle. But the guys had fun and were okay with coming in second. After the games the three couples each decided to wander off on their own and seek whatever pleasure each couple sought. Blaze, Winds, Cala, Lachlann, Wynfreda and Wallace decided to go watch the sword dancing competition.
Mac'IlleMhìcheil Estate – Secluded Glen
Sam and Jules had decided to seek out the secluded glen again. However, this time, they only lay in the grass and stared up at the sky. Both were too wrung out from tug-o-war to get frisky.
Jules asked "I wonder what the team is doing right now?"
Sam checked his watch. They were five hours ahead of Toronto and it was five pm for them. Sam said "Probably getting ready for workout since they have the two pm to two am shift this week."
Jules watched the clouds and said "Hey that one looks like a cat."
Sam snickered, "Good thing Ed is not here. He'd be afraid the cat cloud would pounce on him."
Jules lightly elbowed him but softly laughed "Not nice."
"But true nonetheless. You think we should get him a kitten for his birthday?" Sam asked.
Jules laughed harder this time "Sam you are wicked evil sometimes."
Sam rolled to his side and looked at her "I'm serious Jules. Maybe if we got him a wee kitten Ed could get over his fear."
Jules looked at him. Sam was so sweet but she said "Cats just don't like Ed."
"But it wouldn't be a cat it would be a wee kitten" Sam defended his idea.
"Yes but kittens grow into cats. Cats do not like Ed. Ergo the kitten would eventually not like Ed and if Ed liked the kitten he would be wounded if the cat didn't like him" Jules stated her convoluted logic.
Sam flopped back down on grass "Yeah, okay. No kitten for Ed." His thoughts along the same lines Sam then said "Well at least the Boss got over his fear of planes."
Jules shook her head "Nope he didn't. Ed told me the Boss threatened to drive all the way back from the Hat to Toronto."
"What got him to change his mind?" Sam asked.
Chuckling Jules said "Spike. He looked up all kinds of statistics on the safety of air travel over car travel. The Boss agreed to fly just to shut Spike up."
Sam snorted. That sounded just like Spike.
Jules asked "What made you think about fears Sam?"
"Dunno. Maybe my swim in the loch the other day. If you all had not helped me get over my fear things could have been very different for those five kids the other day" Sam replied.
Propping herself up on one elbow Jules rolled to the side and let her fingers trail over Sam's chest. "So you got over your fear of water. What is your greatest fear now?"
Sam turned his head and gazed into Jules' eyes. His voice only a soft undertone he said "Hurting you."
Jules was taken aback with his comment. "Hurting me?"
He reached his hand up and caressed her face "Yeah hurting you. I'm not afraid to die. But if I do I know it will hurt you. I don't want to hurt you that way. I want to ask you to promise me that if I die you will find someone to love again."
Jules started to interrupt, her head already shaking no. But Sam stilled her head with his hand.
Sam continued "If you were listening I said I want to ask, but I won't. I know I could never promise you that so it would be unfair to ask that of you. All I do ask is that you remember you have so many people that love you besides me. If I should die before you, I want you to lean on them. They will hold you up until you can hold yourself up again."
Jules was surprised, although she shouldn't be, how their minds ran on parallel tracks. She leaned down and kissed him softly. Then she got lost in his blue eyes as her hand traced around his brows, down his cheek and to his lips before she answered "I can promise you that if you can promise me the same thing if I should die before you."
Sam closed his eyes and leaned into Jules. He placed his ear over her heart needing to hear it beating. He felt Jules gently brush through his hair. He stayed there as he considered if he could make that promise.
Jules said softly "You don't have to answer now. When you are ready to answer, however long it takes you to decide, we can talk again."
Pulling back Sam looked into Jules eyes. There was passion, fire, love and acceptance in her eyes. She would wait patiently until he was ready to answer.
That was one more thing he loved about her. She gave him time and did not demand things from him that he could not give. Jules had a gentle way with him that he craved and needed.
Sam sat up and wistfully said "You know we should be heading back now. With as many mishaps I've had the guys have become watchful again. I see it in their eyes. If we don't show up on time for dinner the guys will be worried and sending out a search party. I don't like worrying them. Never have."
Jules stood up and said "Then let's get going. I don't like worrying them either. But I like that they care about you."
Casually slinging his arm over Jules' shoulders Sam responded "They care about you too you know."
"I know and I them. We have a wonderfully large family don't we?" Jules asked.
"Yes we do" Sam answered.
As they walked back to the house in the cool evening air Sam decided to share a thought that had been forming in his head in the past few days. "You know our family is like the Scottish clans in a way. Not all members of a clan are related. But they come together and share a bond beyond blood. They defend and care for all as if they did share blood. I think we have a clan Jules."
Jules leaned into Sam "I like that idea. It fits."
As they broke through the tree line they looked out over the loch. It was a glorious sunset with rays of orange, pink, blue, purple and yellow streaking across the sky and painting the puffy clouds.
They stopped to watch the sunset on the horizon. Both enthralled by the sheer beauty of the world.
As the sun dipped below the horizon Sam pulled Jules into a gentle hug and kissed her tenderly.
