A/N If you have not read "Here's Negan" this chapter will spoil it. I'm going to cover issue 1, 2, and parts of 3. Thanks for the feedback on the last chapter!


Bury your name, forget your face. Oceans of Grey.


"I'll do anything," I beg Blythe.

"Want me to put that bullet in him?"

"Wait." Blythe cocks his head over his shoulder. "Anything?" His lip slowly starts to creep upward.

"A- anything." I know what this means. He's going to take what I love the most. Coaching.

Blythe gets a sheet of paper and pen, handing it through the bars. "You write up your resignation, I'll let you go."

"And Grey?"

Blythe lets out a snicker.

"I want your fucking word, goddammit."

"You'll really give up your career for her?"

"Yes."

"Give me your resignation."

I shake my head no because he's not going to do shit. "Go fuck yourself."

Frank pulls out his revolver.

"Not yet," Blythe snarls before whipping his head back to me. "You're going to resign, or I will start with Grey, and end with Lucille."

"Th- that's my wife!"

"Now he's got a wife. Funny. I don't see a ring. Lucille told me about your arrangement that day when she was begging me for my cock."

"Fuck you, you motherfucking motherfucker, fuck you!"

"I will make your life a living hell if you don't do what I want. Grey knows that all too well."

Fuck! Fine. Fine, what fucking choice do I have? "Here. You fucking win."

"Open the cell door."

"I'm going to fucking kill you."

Blythe closes the cell door before I can get out. "I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that. Speak up."

"Mark my words."

"No, you won't," Blythe simpers. "Your best fucking chance is right now." He sizes me up and down. "Leave him locked in the cell tonight. Grey's going to pay for that remark."

"No," I scream, wrapping my fingers around the bars. "No!"


I set my box of trophies on my workbench in the garage. The school didn't take my resignation well, and truthfully, neither am I.

"Dinner."

"Yeah," I murmur, covering the trophies with a paint tarp.

"You'll find something else, Baby."

I don't want something else.

"Hello? Yes, just a second." Lucille brings the phone receiver down some. "It's for you."

The voice on the other end isn't what I expected.

"Word around town is the head coach quit the Devil's today," Blythe snickers.

I'm two seconds from ripping the phone cord out of the wall and strangling him with it. At least if I kill him, my girls would be safe, and he'd be fucking dead.

"The middle school is looking for a gym teacher. You start Monday." The phone clicks, and the line goes dead.

"I'm not fucking hungry." I drop the receiver at my feet, and slam the front door. I have to actively tell myself not to kill this motherfucker. Who actually has to talk themselves into not killing someone? I weigh the pros and cons of his death before giving up to go for a ride on my bike instead.


I used to get respect when I went around town. Now I'm treated like a fucking joke. The Devil's didn't go to state for the first time since I started with the school. I couldn't bring myself to go to the games, so I did all the things a miserable fuck husband would. I hate my life.


"Surprise," Lucille smiles, flipping on the garage light.

"Wow." A ping-pong table.

"You just seem so down, and you're starting to make a rut in the couch."

"This is fucking awesome!" This… this is just what I need!

"I'll play a few games with you."

"I do like it when you smack my balls."

"Yeah? Maybe I'll have you bend over the table and try out this paddle."

"I love it when you talk dirty."


I open the bathroom door to Lucille face first in the toilet. "Are you alright?"

"I thought I was pregnant. I've been sick to my stomach for the last few days, but the test says negative." The test is sitting on the sink.

"Do you want me to take you to the Doctor?"

"No. It's probably just the flu."

That don't seem like the fucking flu to me, but she's shoving me out of the door before I can think any more about it.


For the first time in almost a year, I finally have a sense of self-worth again. The middle school is starting a baseball program. Ironically, Blythe helped fund most of the cost for the uniforms and equipment. I don't know what his intentions are, but fuck it if it means I get to coach baseball again.


I smack the ping-pong ball over one of my students as it bounces down the driveway. "You pull your pud that slow, fuckwit?! Game point! If I had a wrist that weak, I'd need three pictures of your mom to blow my load. Now, which one of you little pricks is next?"

The three of them look at me like I've lost my goddamn mind before Josh bolts from the garage.

"Sorry, Coach Negan. Josh has always been kind of a pussy. I'll try to calm him down."

"Fuck." I ease down on my recliner. "Fuck, Fuck, Fuck."

...

Lucille ain't fucking happy and rips me a new one when she walks into the garage. "What the fuck, Negan? You're a role model to these kids. I've got their parents on the phone saying you cussed them out?!"

"Only one of them! And I was just messing with them." Jesus, the high school fuckers never used to get this bent out of shape about my mouth.

"Have you lost your mind? The school is going to fire you."

Well. It wouldn't be the worst fucking thing. "These kids aren't going to respect me if I have a stick up my butt outside of the school. I have to be the cool teacher. You should hear the shit they say!"

"Yeah, but they're not-" Lucille's eyes roll back in her head as she collapses to the pavement.

"Baby?! Baby?!" I rush to her side and grab her by the cheeks. "Oh, god! Wake up. Wake up!"

"She, okay?" The neighbor asks.

"Call nine-one-one," I shout.


Deja-goddamn-vu as I hold Lucille's hand waiting for her to wake up. I can't even keep track of all the testing they're doing on her. Poking and prodding. Taking blood. X-rays. Fuck. I just want a goddamn answer! I think when she wakes up that this is all behind us, but I'm fucking wrong.

"I'm afraid I have some very unfortunate news. There's no easy way to say this…"

When the Doctor tells us Lucille has cancer, I go fucking numb. Jesus, no! Not my Lulu.

"I'm sorry," he frowns, leaving the two of us.

"Cancer?" Lucille sobs.

I pull her in my arms. "You're going to beat this."


"Negan, stop, just leave me alone," Lucille gripes, slamming the bathroom door in my face.

It scares the fuck out of me because, in my mind, it tells me that Lucille is giving up. That she doesn't want to fight the cancer, and this is her way of creating a distance between the two of us so that I'll take it better when she passes away. I'm finally here for her, and she doesn't want a thing to fucking do with me.


This shed is a goddamn mess. What have these little fuckers been doing when I tell them to put this shit away?

"Coach Negan?"

I take in a quick breath and spin around. "Grey, get the fuck out before someone sees you!"

"He threatened you, didn't he?"

I give her a nod.

"I'm sorry, I never meant to get you involved. I'm so stupid..."

I close the door behind her, claiming her lips.

She doesn't resist, and curls the fabric of my jersey between her fingers.

I shove the metal basket to the floor and put her on the table as the baseball's scatter everywhere. "I could keep you safe." I pull open her blouse, pressing my lips to her cleavage.

Her hands run up the front of my chest and curl over my shoulders.

I start to unbutton my pants, but my hand is pulled to her. Oh, fucking fuck me.

Her big eyes take in my wedding ring. "You're married!?"

Fuck! "Grey, I know I'm married, but hear me out. We have an open relationship."

"You are so full of shit!" She hops from the table, frantically buttoning up her blouse.

"I'm telling you, it's okay!"

"An open relationship?" She slaps me across the face twice. "I thought what we had was real."

"It is real!"

"Yeah? The three of us going to run away together?"

"I love her, Grey, but then I have these feelings for you-"

"I should have listened to the other teachers when they talked about you, but I thought-"

"Fuck them! I sure as fuck never felt anything for them."

"Because that makes me feel better. You're married!"

"She is everything to me, and you are, too-" I'm slapped again.

"Your poor wife. What is wrong with you?"

"What do you do when you find two people-"

"Stop talking!"

"Grey!"

"How could you not tell me you're married?"

"I- I-"

"You're disgusting."

"I'm disgusting? You're one to talk! You're fucking married, too."

"Yes, but I was honest with you!"

I reach out and take her arm when she goes to leave the shed.

She cries out in pain, leaning her shoulder inward.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know I grabbed you that hard!" She tries to sling her arm away, but I keep my grip on her wrist, and slowly start to push up her sleeve.

His hand print is bruised on her.

"I know what you're thinking, but who would even listen to me? He's the Sheriff."

"…he didn't keep his word."

"What are you talking about?"

"I resigned from the High School in exchange for your safety."

"Why would you do that for me?"

"You wouldn't do something about it, so I had to. You sit there and condone his abuse because there's some part of you that thinks he can change. He's not, and he's going to fucking kill you."

"You have no grounds to give me relationship advice."

"Yeah, well, let me commend you on your loyalty to your husband."

"You've sacrificed your career and for what? Blythe wasn't hurting anyone!"

"Except you!"

"Stay away from me!"

"Why are you protecting him?"

"I don't expect you to understand."

"No! I want to fucking hear this, and you ain't leaving until I do!"

"My father was not a good man. The things he did to my sisters and me are indescribable. Blythe killed him, and saved me from that life. If I have to take a few beatings every now and then, so be it."

"Then all you did was turn around and marry your father! Saving you doesn't grant him immunity from being an abhorrent piece of shit!" I shut the door when she tries to leave. "Look, I get it, I should have fucking told you about Lucille, but goddammit, Grey, don't fucking walk out of here. Don't let this be the last time we speak. I know you're fucking angry, but you're angry because I hurt you. When Lucille and I made this arrangement, I figured I'd have a good time. I'd fuck you and be done with it. Move on to someone else, like I always have, but here we are two years later."

"Negan, I'm warning you. If you don't stay away from me, he will come after you."

I never wanted to force guilt on her, and it wasn't that I was trying to do that. "He already has. He threatened Lucille, too."

Grey sobs into her hands. "No. Oh, god what have I done?"

"You didn't do anything, and that's the problem. Don't sit around and wait for him to kill you, because I promise he will." I grab the door knob and open it so she can leave.

"I'm sorry," she cries, before she hurries from the shed.


My jaw hits the floor when I walk into the house.

Grey is on my couch talking with Lucille.

"H- hey," I stammer, closing the front door. Grey had told Lucille everything, including what happened in the shed yesterday. I listen to Lucille explain to Grey about our arrangement, and when Lucille told Grey that she had cancer, Grey cried for twenty minutes. In fact, Grey was inconsolable. Like she had caused Lucille's cancer. What I didn't expect is Lucille condoning what Grey and I had.

"I don't have much time left," Lucille smiles faintly, "and he'll need someone to take care of him."

I sit in the chair with my face in my hands. There's just some things a man doesn't fucking do. Crying is one of them. Hearing that Lucille is giving up, I might as well just fucking die with her. "I won't listen to this shit," I scream, punching a hole in the wall.


I've been watching the ceiling fan spin for two hours. I didn't go to work today, I didn't even call in. If Lucille is going to give up, so am I. Someone once told me, you don't live for someone else, because when they die, so do you. I wish I would have heeded their advice.

"So that's it, huh? You're just going to lie there feeling sorry for yourself?"

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

"Just let me quietly slip away, it's just easier."

"That's not what I want, Lulu."

"You get to be with Grey."

"At what cost? I don't want that. I just want you."

"Well, you're not going to have that for very long."

"I'm out of here."

"Negan," Lucille calls after me. "Negan, Blythe is going to kill Grey."

"What?" I start back up the steps.

"It's what I went through with my ex. Blythe is doing the same thing to her. Negan, we have to do something."

"I don't know what to do."

"She said you gave up coaching to protect us from Blythe. Baby, you should have told me."

"And say what?"

"I don't know."

What a fuckshow this has become.

"I have an idea. What if we bought her a plane ticket, and sent her back to Australia?"

"You think that would work?"

"We have to be smart about it though. That girl you used to mess around with. Karen? She could take Grey to the airport. That way Blythe won't be suspicious of us."

"Yeah. Yeah, that's a good motherfucking idea."

"I'll call the airlines then, and let Grey know the plan."

I catch her by the wrist. "Lucille, you'd do that?"

"Yes."

"I love you so fucking much."


Blythe had a meeting with the Mayor Tuesday morning. We knew that'd be the best time to get Grey out of the country. Watching her say goodbye to Lucille was difficult. I am the luckiest man in the world to have a wife like Lucille, and to know that she's so accepting of Grey.

Karen met us on the street behind our house.

"I don't want to say goodbye," Grey cries.

"This is the only way you'll be safe."

She clings to my neck as she sobs against my shoulder.

I know the only way she'd leave is if I told her what she wanted to hear. Lying always came easy to me. This was one lie that about crippled me. "I'll find you. If it's the last thing I do. I'll find you, Grey." I fiercely press my lips to hers for a brief second before slamming the car door shut.

Her slate eyes stare up at me through the window. "I love you, Negan," she mouths.

"No," I yell, as the car speeds off.