"Next up…"

"Hope's Peak Variety Show!"

"Yay!"

Sitting in a small recording booth, pop sensation Sayaka Maizono sat together with the ultimate fashionista Junko Enoshima. Both girls clapped their hands in celebration.

"Tonight's navigators are ultimate pop sensation Sayaka Maizono…"

"And ultimate fashionista or despair, Junko Enoshima!"

Sayaka gave Junko a strange look when she introduced herself but faced the camera that was filming them.

"Together we are…" Both girls said together.

"Maishima!/Enozono!"

The crew that were filming the duo began laughing in the background, causing Sayaka to blush in embarrassment.

"Enozono?" Sayaka asked Junko.

"Maishima?" Junko responded.

"Never mind!" Sayaka ended the conversation.


"Say, Sayaka. Did you know, there is something I value more than fashion?"

Sayaka turned to Junko with a smile saying. "Your sister, right?"

Junko laughed in response. "No! Despair, of course!"

"Eh?" Sayaka deadpanned.

The recording booth and camera crew remained silent.

"That's right. Just this morning, I secretly spiked Taka's bento with a huge bottle of hot sauce! He won't see all that despair coming at him."

"Eh?"

"I even put the empty bottle in Makoto's bag! Ha! Wait til' Taka starts inspecting everyone's bags during lunch break." Junko began flailing her arms and legs in joy.

"Eh?"

"And also, in your bag-"

"I think we've all had enough despair for like, our lifeline, Junko. Tonight on Hope's Peak Variety Show, we begin the series off with a blast. A game of muchaburi dodgeball, heavily inspired by the existing variety show Akbingo!"

"That's right!" Junko added, after regaining her composure. "Our classmates will face the most despairing punishments."

"Well then, Hope's Peak Variety Show is starting!

"See you all soon!" Both Junko and Sayaka waved goodbye to the camera.


Once you're out, you will face punishment. The game where the students fight for their survival in return for another's suffering.

Muchaburi Dodgeball

Walking down the gym, eight people walked down the right and left hand side of the gym. Eight from the 77th class, and eight from the 78th class. Sitting on the sidelines, 14 more students.

"Hello everyone viewing the show!" Standing at the center of the gym, a young man with black hair, a bear headband, and a monochrome hoodie. "I am your wonderful host, Monokuma!"

Next to him, a young girl with pink hair, a rabbit headband, and a white dress that reached above her knees. "And I'm-"

"Nobody cares." Monokuma proclaimed, cutting off the other host. In response, the second host whimpered but remained silent.

"Now, please bow to each other!"

The eight students from each class bowed to each other.

"Now, linesman, please explain the rules." Monokuma gestured to a pair of students that were holding red flags in front of a camera.

"Minna-san, konnichiwa! I am the ultimate princess, Sonia Nevermind from the seventy seventh class."

"And I am the ultimate fashionista or despair from the seventy eighth class, Junko Enoshima!"

"The rules are the same as regular dodgeball." Sonia started.

"But the players that are out must do a crazy punishment that will surely bring despair!" Junko added on.

"Now then…"

"Back to the monochrome man!"

"..."

Everyone in the gym had remained silent, including the filming crew. Monokuma looked ready to impale Junko with a spear and the second host was struggling to hold him back.

"Monochrome man?!" Monokuma asked.

"Hajime Hinata of course. He's so plain, I feel like I'm colour blind when I look at him." Junko answered, causing several people to laugh and give bad looks to her at the same time.

Hajime Hinata - Ultimate Reserve Course Student

"Wait, me?!" Hajime demanded, his cheeks turning pink. But the duo failed to respond as they were busy waving to the camera.

"Well then, let's begin!" Monokuma announced.

"Wait one second, why am I the monochrome-"


For this game, we have both classes in their separate teams of eight.

From the 77th class, we have:

Ultimate Swordswoman - Peko Pekoyama

Ultimate Gymnast - Akane Owari

Ultimate Team Manager - Nekomaru Nidai

Ultimate Cook - Teruteru Hanamura

Ultimate Mechanic - Kazuichi Soda

Ultimate Yakuza - Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu

Ultimate Photographer - Mahiru Koizumi

Ultimate Lucky Student - Nagito Komaeda

For the 78th class:

Ultimate Swimming Pro - Aoi Asahina

Ultimate Fighter - Sakura Ogami

Ultimate Lucky Student - Makoto Naegi

Ultimate Soldier - Mukuro Ikusaba

Ultimate Detective - Kyoko Kirigiri

Ultimate Biker Gang Leader - Mondo Owada

Ultimate Moral Compass - Kiyotaka Ishimaru

Ultimate Gambler - Celestia Ludenberg

Who will be the first to face punishment?

"Alright, for our first punishment…" Monokuma put his hand into a hat, and pulled out a slip of paper. He then unfolded it and read it aloud.

"Embarrassing wardrobe! More will be explained when someone is out. But for now, let's begin!"

Round Start

The second host blew her whistle and Monokuma threw the ball to the center of the gym. Immediately, Akane Owari runs up and grabs the ball. In response, the opposing team backs away and stays near the boundaries. Behind each team, there are two players to either catch or throw any balls that go out of bounds. For the 77th class, Nekomaru Nidai and Mahiru Koizumi, and Mondo Owada and Kiyotaka Ishimaru for the 78th.

"Go, Coach Nekomaru!" Akane Owari threw the ball and Nekomaru Nidai has successfully caught it.

Being alert, most of the team went to the opposite side of the playing field, but there some who were still slow catching up, despite wearing their P.E. uniforms. Nekomaru takes aim and throws the ball. Successfully striking Makoto Naegi's back.

Usami blows her whistle and Monokuma announces that Makoto is out.

Player Out

The game began with Akane passing the ball to Nekomaru who was easily caught from his end of the gymnasium. Nekomaru takes aim at the fleeing 78th class and strikes with precise aim and remarkable speed. And with that, Makoto Naegi is the first one out, and the first one to face a punishment.

It's Punishment Time

"Wait, I'm out already? It hasn't even been five minutes in the game yet!" Makoto protested, only to be responded with several snickers from both the 77th and the 78th class.

"Then you can blame your amazing luck. Now let's explain how embarrassing wardrobe works."

The concept of this punishment is similar to the muchaburi Embarrassing make up from Akbingo! But this time, we will be using clothing instead of make-up. The way it works is that if you are out, players from the opposite team will choose clothing that the player must wear for the rest of the game.

"Can I please have the players from the 77th class and Makoto follow my assistant host Monomi."

The players from the 77th class went up to the second host, and Makoto reluctantly followed.

"It's Usami, you stupid brother!" Usami replied, earning her a whack to the head from Monokuma.

"Ow...everyone, please follow me to the costume room."

With several choices at their disposal, what exactly did the 77th class plan for poor Makoto to wear for the entire game? It's time for the reveal.


"Remove the curtain!" Monokuma ordered.

Immediately, the 77th class players removed a curtain to reveal Makoto's clothing for the rest of the episode. When the curtain was removed, Makoto stood there with his face a crimson red, with his hands holding a piece of clothing down.

Makoto Naegi was wearing the Hope's Peak Academy girl's uniform.

In response, most of the girls began squealing and most of the boys were furiously blushing. The linesman Junko and Sonia however developed nosebleeds and were trying to stop the blood, but couldn't help fangirling.

"Makoto?!" The boys in the 78th class shouted. Some of the girls like Aoi Asahina or Sayaka tried to give supporting looks, but couldn't help but grin at the sight.

All the boys in the 77th class were laughing their asses off, and while the girls were squealing, Mahiru had taken out a camera and took pictures.

"And there you have it!" Monokuma proclaimed. "The players have decided as to what Makoto should wear for the rest of this episode. Makoto, how do you feel?"

"I'm so embarrassed." He whimpered. "I was going to record today's episode to watch again, but now I don't want to-Koizumi please stop taking photos of me!"

"This is definitely going in the yearbook."

"Look on the bright side Makoto." Sayaka said to him. "I think you look really cute in that."

"It suits you!" Aoi Asahina added.

"Please don't say that. I feel like I'm gonna fail as a man."

"He's even wearing the panties and bra." Teruteru added while his nose was dripping blood.

"Don't tell them that!"

"The yaoi is strong with this one." Sonia proclaimed, pointing at Makoto. "I hereby proclaim that Makoto shall wear this for school everyday."

"No!"


"Now for the second punishment...public performance!"

"Eh?"

"What is that?"

"Now, let us change the camera."

The main screen camera changes to one that shows the Hope's Peak Academy cafeteria. Occupying the seats, the 76th class were hanging out, studying, or eating snacks.

"If you are out, you will perform in front of the 76th class! Let's play!"

With only 7 people remaining, can the 78th class be able to inflict vengeance with the ball at their side?


Round Start

Usami blew her whistle and the game began. Mukuro Ikusaba who had the ball ran to the boundary and took aim. She throws towards Fuyuhiko's direction, but...

"Young master!"

Peko Pekoyama took the blow for the yakuza.

Usami blows her whistle.

"Peko is out!" Monokuma announced.

Player Out

That round went surprisingly fast. But with the ultimate soldier in charge, it's no surprise. Mukuro Ikusaba had the ball going in Fuyuhiko's direction, but Peko had taken the ball to save him from the punishment. Now it's time for-

"It didn't hit her!" Fuyuhiko shouted.

"Young master…"

"That ball didn't fucking hit her! I saw it with my own two fucking eyes!"

"So you claim that Peko didn't get hit?" Monokuma asked in a dangerous tone.

"That's right! Now let's continue this stupid-"

"Surely, the linesman must have been watching carefully. Miss Enoshima, if you will."

Junko walked up to Fuyuhiko and Peko with a blank stare on her face. "So you claim he ball didn't hit Peko?"

"No shit!"

"But I saw her get hit. Do you still claim it didn't hit her?"

"Yes!"

"Very well...hahaha! No fucking way did she not get hit! Nice half ass attempt to get her exempted from the punishment, but you're just gonna have to face the despair!"

Junko then turned to Monokuma with a smile and raised her arm with a thumbs up. "Out!"

"She says it's out!"

It's Punishment Time

"Peko Pekoyama, you will choose one item to use for your performance. When you reach the cafeteria, you will be allowed to use anything there at your disposal."

"Then I choose my bamboo sword." Peko answered, and walked off to the cafeteria.

"Well then. Let's change the camera, shall we?"


"Man. Classes today were so boring!"

"Right? I swear I could've swore I saw our teacher's eyes turn all red and puffy!"

"And the fact that the 77th and 78th class get to be in a variety show."

"So lucky!"

"I hope we-huh? Pekoyama, shouldn't you be recording the variety show with your class?"

Standing in front of her seniors, Peko stood there with a blank expression. She then took out her bamboo sword from it's bag and held it in a way that it was balanced on her palm. The 76th class looked at her with confused expressions and watched Peko grab plates with her free hand.

"Eh?"

Peko then threw a plate in the air and balanced it on her sword. She began adding more plates on top and started spinning her sword, making the plates spin as well.

From the gymnasium, everyone was watching Peko with wide eyes or curious faces. The silent and formal swordswoman was showing off a ridiculous talent that nobody would have expected her to have. Monokuma decided to call Peko back.

"Alright Peko, you can come back now."

Peko then put her sword back in it's bag, allowing the plates to fall and shatter on the floor. The 76th class didn't do anything but watch Peko leave with dumbstruck facial expressions.


"Welcome back." Monokuma said to the Peko that had returned from her punishment. "You looked more like you had fun so I don't know if I can even call it a punishment anymore…"

"Well it did ruin her image to her seniors, did it not? I think that alone is bad enough." Usami said, trying to protect Peko from anymore punishments.

"Aw. I was hoping to add on to it. Like having her impaled by swords-"

"Let's move on to the next round." Usami announced, cutting Monokuma off.


"This rounds punishment is...eating a pudding cup in one go! Okay, the previous punishments were weak in the despair factor, but this is just stupid."

The score is now even. Who will be the next victim?


Round Start

Usami blows her whistle and Monokuma passes the ball to the 77th class. Kazuichi gets the ball and passes it to Akane, the team's strongest player. Akane dribbles the ball for a bit and then makes a feint. The feint has caused all the players to change their location, thus making them all huddled up in one corner. Taking the opportunity, Akane throws the ball to the small crowd in hopes of getting a hit.

The ball hits Aoi Asahina, but what's this? Sakura Ogami has caught the ball so she isn't out. After a hug from Asahina, the ultimate fighter throws a powerful strike to the opposing team, but only to have Akane catch the ball. Unlucky!

Akane then passes it to Fuyuhiko who makes a quick throw. Not expecting Akane's pass, the 78th class was taken in by Fuyuhiko's surprise attack. The ball hits a player and Usami blows her whistle.

"Celestia out!"

Player Out

What a crazy round this was. The amount of plays has made it the most exciting one yet. Akane's feint gets Aoi hit, but Sakura catches the ball to save her and returns the favour. But Akane catches the counter attack, and surprisingly passes it to Fuyuhiko. He throws the ball and somehow hits the ultimate gambler.

"It didn't hit me." Celestia concluded, her poker face remaining unfazed.

"Eh? But we saw it ourselves."

"You are greatly mistaken, as the ball didn't hit me."

"Well I guess we'll have to ask the linesman don't we? Miss Nevermind."

"Of course Monokuma." Sonia walked up to Celestia. "So you are claiming you are not out?"

"That is correct."

"I see. However, I saw you get hit. But back at Novoselic, we believe in a fair trial. If you can successfully slay a white makango, then you are free to go with no charges. If you fail-"

"You're not very good at this Sonia." Monokuma interrupted. "Just do the punishment."

It's Punishment Time


Celestia sat in front of a table, with an apron to cover her gym uniform. In front of her, one pudding cup was on a plate.

"Well, this lame punishment will have to do. Celestia, please lay back and open your mouth."

Celestia laid back but did not open her mouth.

"I will wait for you to prepare the pudding. I will not leave my mouth open for a long period of time as it will look ridiculous on television."

Monokuma grumbled in response and opened the pudding cup.

"Say ah~"

Celestia opened her mouth and Monokuma dropped the pudding in her mouth. Celestia immediately closed her mouth and covered it with her hand to eat the pudding.

"How is it?" Monokuma asked in a sing song voice.

"I do not enjoy processed foods. Does anyone have any royal milk tea I could drink? Hm, nobody? Very well. Hifumi, start working."

"Of course Miss. Ludenberg." Hifumi Yamada ran out of the gym to make Celestia's milk tea.

Monokuma looked extremely bored, while Usami looked worried for Hifumi's sake.

"When does this recording end?" Monokuma asked Usami.

"We can end it now if you want."

"Bing bong bang bong!" Monokuma shouted. "The game is over! Victory goes to the 77th class."

The 77th class cheered while the 78th class groaned in defeat.

"Let's here some thoughts from the 78th class."

"I wish I was involved more." Mondo mused.

"I think all of us think that as well." Mahiru said back.

"Makoto! Fix your skirt at once!" Kiyotaka shouted.

"You know, there is a way to make this show more interesting." Junko said, attracting attention from everyone.

"What would that be?" Usami asked Junko.

"Fanservice!" Junko screamed in delight. She then ran up to Makoto and lifted up his skirt in front of everyone and the camera.


We are currently experiencing technical difficulties. We apologise for the inconvenience.


"And that's what they've recorded today." Kenta said to the principal with a smile.

"..."

"What's wrong Jin?"

"I don't remember allowing you to call me by my first name."

"Sorry Mr. Kirigiri. So what's wrong with the recording?"

"I don't know whether it would be a good idea to even release the episode. I don't even know who those two hosts are."

"Well, we can easily censor the bit where Junko lifts Makoto's skirt. As for the hosts, they are Monokuma and Usami, popular in the entertainment industry and known as the Mono-duo."

"It's just...my students images could be ruined from airing this episode."

"Oh. Well that may be a bit complicated because we may have already sent the episode to Japan's national television network."

Immediately, Jin Kirigiri slammed his head down on his desk.

Kenta laughed and stood up to take his leave.

"I'll see you tomorrow for the recording then Jin."

"Don't call me by my first name."


Next time, on Hope's Peak Variety Show:

How confident are the students when it comes to cooking? Do they have the skills to make proper food and not just cup noodles? Join us next episode as we watch the students of Hope's Peak Academy cook up masterpieces. Or in some cases,

"What the hell is this?!"

"I'm gonna puke if I look at it any longer than I have to."

Only on Hope's Peak Variety Show. See you all next episode!


(A/N) Well this chapter was ridiculously stupid in my opinion. I don't know about you guys but my 'comedic writing' is not even funny XD

Hopefully I can do a better job next chapter, but for now you guys get this mess. If you notice any typos, feel free to let me know. Preferably through guest review so I can delete it later but it's fine if it isn't.

Also, show your support if you want to through follows, favourites, and reviews. Anything helps.

Thanks for the reviews, and I'll see you all in episode 2!