8. Valentines Day
In my opinion, Valentines Day sucked. Surprised to hear that the Scorpion King, the king of love, thought this? You shouldn't be. It was the worst holiday of the year for reasons. Why, you may ask, did I think this? Easy, it was the only time of the year were the girl were supposed to show affection. The White Day were the males day and their time to repay the wonderful feelings they got. I know you probably sit there and thinking: 'Hey, the boys can also give chocolate to the girl they like too on Valentines Day', yes, of course. It was just that now would I get the receipt of all my feelings I had shown Rose. I hope you now understand why I hated this day. My own expectations caused this. My first crush, and the future love of my life, weren't the one who did these types of things either so expectations turned also to failure.
I looked down on my plate and stabbed the vegetables, which was a part of the meal I was going to eat for breakfast. I had never sighed so deep before, lost in thought. Normally I was the one who encouraged everyone, talked lively and got into these awkward situations. Now didn't I even get into a conversation. Albus looked with his green eyes at me, studied my every move.
"Scorpius, I don't understand why you do this to yourself." Albus sat right in front of me. The Slytherin-table was almost full and made it quite hard to have a conversation over all the noise. People were sitting on each others lap snogging and others were talking highly about the letters that were coming. I could see it before me, not getting any letter from Rose. "Rose has never done anything to show affection towards you. She has always turned you down. Why don't you just give up that one-sided love and starts to notice someone else?" I looked up but shook my head.
"Rose's just focused at her grades and Quidditch. It's not easy to have a boyfriend and try to balance all that at the same time. The easiest for her is not to focusing on flirtation." I knew now that what Albus would say. Love wasn't supposed to be easy. If you really liked someone you should fight with all your might and make it work. Rose could think this way but trying and know that she could fail made her not try at all. "You know me, Albus. I'm not the type who gives up just because it's the easiest way out. To notice someone else means that I have to let go of my feelings and I can't do that. I will always see her." Albus put down his spoon he held in his hand. His aura changed to a dark one. Why did he feel so strong about me being together with Rose?
"Listen to yourself. You know she will never see you as who you really are and yet you having this fantasy-story replay over and over in your head. I don't want you to get hurt. You are my most important person." Now did I finally understand why he had this rage towards Rose. He didn't want her to hurt me. Albus were my best friend in the whole world. We knew each other better than ourselves. When something happened we talked first to each other before even gathering our own opinion. What did Rose have that Albus didn't have? Well, Rose were challenging me. She always made me surprised and always made me exceed even my own expectations. She made me learn new sides of myself I had never thought I had. She even made me a better person. I knew Albus wouldn't understand this even if I tried to explain it to him.
"Albus, I love you and all but sometimes you have to understand that love's worth getting hurt for."
"That sounds very sadistic if you ask me."
"Well, It's not." I said, a bit angry. "If you're not prepared to fight or are prepared to fail you will never truly love. Love isn't meant to be peaceful. You have to open yourself up."
"One day I hope you will wake up and understand." Albus mumbled. I were just about to answer him when the owls came into the great hall. Yes, the post was here! I looked up and saw more then hundreds of owls carrying all from letters and boxes. I looked however soon back at Albus. I didn't want to argue with him. He was the only true friend I got.
"Albus... I don't want to fight with you. I'm sorry but my opinion can't be changed." He looked at me and nodded. He knew me to well to make me give in.
"I'm sorry too." We smiled a bit to each other. It was then it happened. Letters were falling over us and we had to put our hands over our heads for not getting hit by everything that fell to us. I couldn't even count how many letter there were and every single one of them were addressed to... me?
"Wow, I have never seen anyone get so many letters!" Albus took up a bunch of letters. They were in all difference of colors but had this red base. Different writing made me understand that this wasn't just from one person but from at least twenty.
"This must be a joke." Not only a joke. People had to been given the wrong name. I wasn't nearly this popular. I hadn't any friend other then Albus. I mean, sure, I was nice but being nice and being friends were almost opposites.
"I don't think so... You have grown quite tall and you are nice so it wouldn't be weird if some girl or boy saw you. If I didn't know what a huge determination you had for Rose maybe I would give it a shot." He laughed and shook his head. "No, I'm just kidding. You're my best friend, there's a difference and besides, my preferences are older." Yes, I knew that very well. Albus seemed only to have eyes for the older students. To bad for him, he didn't have any contact with any other student.
"Good to know." I said and now started to read the letters I've been given. They were all very much alike but there was one who stood out from the rest. The envelope was green and the form wasn't a heart but the one of a formal letter. The green paper had a beautiful pattern that had been drawn to it by hand. The one who had sent this had talent beyond anyone I had ever seen. I could see my name been written with a silver-pen. "Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy". Not many knew my middle name.
"Wow." said Albus, who now looked at the letter I held. "That's a seriously amount of talent. Who would send something like that to you? I mean, that probably took hours to make and what I know you don't talk to that many people who would do that." I agreed. Who would spend so much time on something to me? I opened it and looked at the message. This... this was the most beautiful thing I had ever been given.
"Listen to this." I said and started to read the note out loud.
"I tell myself that I'm not good enough for love.
I, who never made an attempt to give affection has no right to love.
I tell myself that love is something to be given to the worthy.
I, who never done anything romantic are not worthy.
I tell myself that love is something that only happens to the most valuable of souls.
To even compare myself would be a sin, I, who people don't think even have a soul.
I tell myself these things everyday and the more I hear them, the more I try to believe them.
You, who's the greatest person to walk this earth.
How come you look at someone like me?
You, who gives affection to everyone who surrounds you.
How come you never want affection back?
You, who are the most worthy of them all.
How come you try to make me love?
I tell myself that I'm not good enough for love but for you...
I would try."
The end of the letter was signed with a rose.
