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10. Confronting Feelings

Pain, it's an essential feeling. It's there all the time, hiding in the shadows. It's there waiting for the right time to react – or to be correct – to attack. You may ask, how could pain be an essential feeling? Why can't you feel good all the times? You have your answer right there. Without pain you wouldn't know when you truly felt fine. Thousands of knifes had hit my head with a brutal force I had never thought was possible (I didn't count the cruciatus curse into this.). My insides had been screaming at me to give up. Who would thought Quidditch could give you these wounds? Okay, I surly knew that Death had visit some matches over the years and given deadly wounds. I sighed. Thank Merlin magic existed, otherwise I would have had to stay days inside the hospital wing for weeks. Otherwise, I wouldn't have realized that Rose liked me more then I thought.

My head was wrapped with bandage and so was my chest. I had broken a few ribs but you couldn't do anything about them but let them heal in their own pace. My head wasn't it anything really wrong with, I had just got an concussion. I walked slowly out from the hospital wing a few hours after the match against Ravenclaw. I didn't need to ask if we won or not. Slytherin was one of the best Quidditch teams in the school, even if they had a player who fell off his broom as soon someone pushed him. The only other house who stood a chance was Gryffindor and that team were built up around one player – Rose Granger-Weasley.

I couldn't help but smile. I had hit my head hard but there was one thing that I knew was real. As soon as I hit the ground I could see Rose immediately running out on the court. Her eyes had only been on me and had reacted before anyone else could understand something had happened. She was the first one to get to me. The red hair had danced in the wind as she had come closer. Her eyes were filled with terror. Her hand had grabbed my shoulders and lifted me up, a bit struggling, to her lap as she trowed herself on the ground.

I wished I had seen more of her reaction but I blacked out. I would had done everything to see it again. I sighed. Oh, well. This was one of the reasons I liked her so much. You never knew what she had in mind.

"Are you alright?" I looked up in surprise. Rose were now standing outside the hospital wing. She looked as strong as ever with her eyes down in a book. The way she studied it were remarkable. If she only looked with such care at me. I blinked. Wait... why were Rose standing outside the hospital wing? Was she... oh yes. She was. She was waiting for me and talking to me. She turned her head up. She didn't show any emotion at all. She just looked at me.

"Yes.. I'm.. alright." I could see that she let her breath out. She had been worried. Rose closed her book and closed her eyes as if she thought deeply about something. What would I had done to understood her? I walked slowly to her and were soon at her side.

"What are you doing here?" I couldn't help but ask. If she wanted to watch over me as I were out she could had sit in the hospital wing but she had stood outside. Nothing explained her action. If she cared she wouldn't stand outside. If she didn't care she wouldn't be here at all.
"I..." She bit her underlip and turned away. My ribs tortured me but not as much Rose did when she didn't look at me. Had something happened? She didn't say anything and started to walk towards the stairs. I hurried to walk with her.

"Have something happened?" Rose didn't say anything but her cheeks were changing color. Something had happened. Was she embarrassed that she had run out on the field? If I understood Rose correctly this should be a reason. Everyone knew that I had feelings for Rose. Everyone knew that I would have tried to save Rose if she fell from the sky but they didn't know if Rose would've done the same. Was this it? She didn't answer me but I followed her down to the great hall. It was dinnertime already. Wow, I had been out for at least eight hours. Had she... had she waited for me so long?

The great hall were quiet. Too quiet if you asked me. At this hour it should have been laughter that filled the hall, not silence. This situation only happened if something big... Oh no. I could hear whispers. I could feel the glares running against my spine. Everyone looked at us. I looked at Rose. She held her head up high.

"Why are everyone looking at us?" Yes, I was supposed to be used to glares by now but... it wasn't so easy. I didn't like attention. It had never been my thing.

"You don't remember?" Her words were almost like a whisper. Her low voice made me shiver. I didn't know what to say. What were I supposed to remember? When I didn't say anything she kept talking. She didn't seem upset that I didn't remember. "You said a few thing that were a bit of a chock to everyone." I stared at her. I stopped walking and Rose stood still too. What had I said that could be a chock? It felt like everyone already knew everything about me. They knew that I was head over heels for Rose. They knew I sucked at every subject except for Potions and Herbology.

"What... did I say?" She took a deep breath. This was what she had thought so much about. She were trying to come up with an explanation. I knew that I could say anything in her presence so I made myself ready for the worst. It was best that way, then you would only be happy if it was less horrible. All I hoped was it wasn't one of my bad pickup lines but surly it was the only thing my brain would come up with.

"You said that the only thing you regretted was that you never told me, in a serious way, that you liked me." Wow. That sounded so lame that only I could have said something like that. I had told her about a million times that I liked her but she had never understood that I was serious. She always thought that I was teasing her. I knew that but it felt safer that way. I couldn't go back now. My face didn't show anything, precisely like hers.

"What.. what did you say?" She looked up now. Her expression weren't the same as before. She gave away a small smile. She was confronting everything she had before denied. Her eyes were meeting mine. It wasn't my words that had suprised everyone. It was her words. She was the only oe who didn't thought that I was serious. Everyone else knew were my feeling truly was. Rose understood many facts but feelings were a subject she failed in.
"I said that I couldn't imagine not having you around."