No one's gonna take me alive. The time has come to make things right. You and I must fight for our rights. You and I must fight to survive. – Matt Bellamy


I stand on my shit bucket trying to peer out the small window. The infirmary is across the street. As the door opens, the metal caves on the bucket and I fall on the ground. "No," I yell, dragging my bed over. The person that was coming out of the infirmary is making their way down the steps to my cell. Fuck. Is she okay? I won't spend the rest of my life rotting in jail knowing Grey died.

"So that's Grey."

"Carl…" Oh, god, no please. "Is she? Is she…"

"They don't think she'll make it."

"No." I drop to the floor, starting to hyperventilate.

"I gave her some blood, but she's lost a lot."

"You'd do that for Grey?"

"Why, because she's with you? That's the problem with you and my dad. We're all just people, Negan. People trying to survive against the roamers. Whatever, look, I gotta get out of here before someone sees me. I'll try to come back in a few hours."

"Carl, wait." I fish into my pocket and pull out the ring. "Will you give this to Grey?"

"It's really a cheesecake ring," he laughs.

"Please, hurry. Before she's gone. I want her to have that. I didn't get a chance before Blythe shot her."

"Blythe did this?!"

"Yeah," I stammer, hiding my face in my hands so he doesn't see me cry, and thankfully he doesn't stick around.

...

I'm so fucking scared to hear that door open because I fear the words that she didn't make it. I slowly bring my eyes to Carl.

"Her condition is worsening," he frowns. "I'm sorry."

"Did you give her the ring?" It's the only thing I can bring myself to say.

"No."

"Why?"

"Because you should." He slips the ring back through the cell bars.

"You know the second I leave here they're going to kill me."

"I know, but I'll make you a deal."

"I'll do anything."

He pulls out Rick's hand cuffs. "You put these on and I'll take you to say goodbye to her. After you do, you leave the infirmary and I'm the one that kills you."

I spin around, putting my hands behind my back. "Hurry!"

"Are you sur-"

"Carl!" I won't lie, I'm pissing my panties. Yeah, I could easily subdue Carl, take his gun, and trade Carl for Grey, but that wouldn't solve anything. I'm not that man anymore. Once in the streets, I draw more attention than either of us expected. My moment with Grey will have to be shared with Alexandria. Seeing Grey that sickly color again turns my stomach.

She looks over at the shouting and flailing of guns pointed at me. "What did you do to these people?" Grey sobs, touching my cheek.

I lower my head, shaking it side to side. "I fucked up, Grey." I press my face to the crook of her neck. "I'm sorry."

"You dumb cunt," she cries, wrapping her arms tight around me.

"I know." I've fucking ruined everything. "I'm sorry." Listening to her cries fucking sucks because there's not a goddamn thing I can fucking do about it. I fear that every time she sucks in a breath it could be her last. "Are you in pain?"

"I don't want to talk about that."

I contemplate giving her the ring at all. Because when I go, I don't want her to feel like she's tied to me. I just want this woman, for once in her life, to be happy. To know she'll never cry again because of something someone else did to her. But, at the same time, I want her to know how much she fucking means to me, and making an honest woman out of her is the only way I can think to convey that. "I have something for you. In my pocket."

She's in disbelief at the ring.

"I'm sorry I can't put it on your finger."

"I didn't say I'd marry you," she laughs, but her face withers in pain. Grey eases it on her finger. "It even has a cookie on it."

"Yeah, I looked real motherfucking manly gluing that shit on."

"Arts and crafts? I'd pay to see that."

Here Grey is on the verge of dying and I know my fate, yet we're both laughing. I guess that's just the kind of people we are. That's what I love about this woman. She knows there's no goddamn hope, yet she's making the best of it. Like she always has. I should have never put her in that car with Karen. Just like I should have been a better man to Lucille. Maybe Lucille would have had the strength to fight the cancer. I feel like she gave up because of me since I was such a piece of shit. Is that what Grey is doing, too?

"Time," Rick interrupts.

"I love you, Negan."

"I'm sorry I failed you as a man, Grey. I let Lucille die, and now you, too."

"We'll see each other again."

"I love you so goddamn much, woman," I frown, setting my head against her chest. "Grey, promise me that you'll fight this, okay? That you'll fucking pull through. Don't fucking die, please!" I don't deserve to ask this of her. "Alright, I'm going," I choke, when the tip of Rick's gun is pressed to the back of my head.

He cocks the revolver.

What?! He's going to kill me right here? "No, I'm going! Don't do this in front of her."

"This is your doing, Negan."

"Negan," Grey cries, tightening her arms around me.

"No," Carl yells, lowering Rick's gun. "Negan and I had a deal. He dies outside."

"Let go, Carl!"

"You'd murder Negan in front of Grey?"

"Negan brought this on himself!" Rick isn't the only person in Alexandria to shout it. To demand my blood.

"Dad, I never agreed on you keeping him locked up, but I eventually saw your reasoning behind it. At least, I thought your reasoning behind it was to show him how the world could be without men like him. It turns out, you just kept him alive for you." Carl undoes my handcuffs.

"Carl," Andrea shouts.

"I won't allow this, Carl."

Carl steps protectively between me and Rick, stretching out his arms. "Negan could have killed you when he escaped the first time, but he didn't. Hell, he could have killed me when I took him from the cell just now."

"He's a threat!"

"If mom were dying, you would fight to be by her side, but Negan didn't. He didn't hurt anyone when they tried to pull him from the infirmary! He went back down to his cell thinking that was the last time he'd see Grey. Negan knew what coming back to Alexandria meant but he didn't care because if there was a slim chance he could save Grey, he was going to take it." Carl slugs Rick across the face and takes his gun. "I won't allow you to kill him because you're wrong if you think you're right in doing so. Negan's not that same man. That's the point of a correctional system. To change people for the better. Grey was shot because of a fucking psychopath, and all Negan is trying to do is protect her."

"Carl, he doesn't belong here," Andrea tries to persuade him.

"You're right, but he's here now and that's that. When Grey pulls through," Carl looks over his shoulder at me, "and she will." He turns his attention back to Rick. "Negan will leave."

"And what happens if she doesn't pull through and he goes on some killing spree like a fucking-"

"Fuck you," I bellow at Prick.

"If Grey dies, do you think he'd be able to go on without her? He didn't come to Alexandria for anything other than that woman. If you can't see that, than you'll never see it and I guess you don't have to. But you're not going to kill him, Dad. It's not right. It's not who we are."

Rick's eyes lock on mine.

The kid actually pulled it off. It's a hard fucking pill for Rick to swallow because it's not just his pride that's on the line. It's this personal vendetta against me. I ain't fucking apologizing to him, and he won't dare admit that Carl is right. So like the Prick he is, he gets in the last words before leaving with Andrea.

"When she's stable, leave, and don't ever come back or I will kill you, Negan."

It's just like Prick Grimes to ignore his own flesh and blood when it doesn't benefit his ego. Fucking pathetic sack of shit. It's actually rather fucking stupid because the real war is the meat puppets. It always has been, but what-the-fuck-ever. I have Grey. However long that might be.

...

I hold this woman and keep her comfortable. The doctor said if she can make it through the night, that there's a chance she'll be able to pull through. I'm so fucking scared as she sleeps against me. Just waiting for that final breath. Every sudden movement and every twitch turns my stomach.


She opens her eyes, looking up at me.

Thank fucking Christ. "How do you feel?"

"I'm hungry."

"Get the fuck out of here."

"Well, I'm nauseous, too."

I'm on my guard when the infirmary door opens, but it's Carl. "Thank you for what you did."

"I didn't do anything. It's what was right." He looks Grey over once. "I told you she'd pull through."

"Yeah. You're one smart motherfucker, kid."

"Did you kill Blythe?"

"I left him to turn."

"Good."

"I bet your dad is real fucking pissed at you, huh?"

"He said he was proud of me."

"You better run along then before he changes his mind." To think all this could have been much fucking different if I didn't tell him about Lucille.

You gonna tell me about Lucille today?

So.. Lucille?

Who was Lucille?

This persistent fucking pain in my ass, dragging these painful memories out of me, ended up saving more than my life.

"Wait a second. You didn't really think you were getting out of here without being punished, did you?" Carl repeats my own words back to me.

"I don't understand, kid."

Carl starts to laugh. "I want to hear Grey say aluminum."


"She's stabilized, but she will have a long recovery."

I know this all too fucking well.

"Thank you." I shake the doctor's hand.

"They're both very lucky."

Huh? They're? The fuck is he talking about? I smirk down at Grey, raising my eyebrows up and down. "You hear that? You'll be back on your knees in no time."

The doctor clears his throat. "I would advise bed rest until the baby is born."

Grey and I don't speak for twenty minutes. Even ignoring the food in the room we're that speechless. "We're gonna have… I… fuck." I'm not going to sugar coat this. This is scary as fuck.

"Are you upset?"

"I don't know," I shrug. "How is it that I was once responsible for seventy-eight people, and leading almost forty now, yet the thought of one more life fucking terrifies me?"

"Because she'll be yours."

"What? You mean he'll be mine!" A boy would be better. I'd only have to worry about one dick then. If we have a girl, I'll have all these horny fucking fucks chasing after my daughter. Wow, my daughter…

Grey's fingers curl around mine.

"I'm sorry, I… this is just a lot to fucking take in really fucking fast."

"It's alright. You don't have to accept everything you're given right now. It's still too soon to even know if it's a boy or a girl."

"Lucille couldn't have children. We tried for a long time. Coaching was important to me because it filled some of that void of not having them."

"So you're not gonna sneak out in the middle of the night on me?"

"If we keep eating like this I'll be too fat to get out of the window."

"You are built like a brick shithouse."

"You know what they say. The bigger you are, the harder you fuck."

"How long until we can fuck again?"

"Like, uh. A while. You know, it's only right that I return the favor for all the times you let me blow my load. I'll suffer for you."

"Yeah, you should suffer."


I watch nervously as Grey stands in front of Blythe. She should be in bed, but she's talking with him. I can't hear what she's saying. I didn't expect her to show him mercy, but she drives a knife in his eye socket. If I had it my way, Blythe would be alive in a cellar and tortured for the rest of his worthless existence. Grey didn't see it like that. "Pull him off the wall, then burn the body," I instruct my men.

She returns back inside the gates.

"What did you say to him?"

"That I forgive him."

"What?! Why the fuck would you do that?"

"Because of the boy in Alexandria that saved your life and gave you a second chance. Even though Blythe was a monster, he gave me a second chance when he saved me from my father. Forgiveness is everything now."

I don't fucking understand it, but I guess it's really not my place to. "Come here." I hoist her up in my arms. "You need to get back to bed." There isn't a shred of me that would forgive Blythe for what he fucking did to Grey, but in some strange way it helped me understand why Rick was adamant about not wanting to forgive me. He'd do anything for the people he loved to keep them safe. Just like I'd do anything for mine.


Four years later.


"You're dead, Daddy."

I open my eyes and wipe the slobber from my neck. "Ahhhh," I groan, pulling her in my arms.

She starts to giggle as I tickle her sides. "No," she laughs, "the undead don't tickle."

"If I'm dead so are you, dummy! Where's your mother at?"

"She's making us food."

"Fuck yes!"

"That's what I said, and then she said I am definitely my father's child."

"You most certainly fucking are, but that swearing shit is our secret."

"Alright," she pouts.

I laugh because it's the same face I give when I'm fucking pouting. "Lay with me for a few minutes."

She curls up on my chest.

I run my fingers through her long red hair that she refuses to let anyone cut.

"I love you, Daddy."

"I love you, too, Lucille."


A/N Thank you for making it this far! I hope you all enjoyed it. Let me know what you think! With the close of this fic, means the start of a new one because I'm a glutton for punishment! It's called 'Beautiful Tragedy'. You can find it on my profile. Thanks again for all the support! - 217